26 Nov 2000
Category: Angst, POV, quasi-sap
Rating: PG
Pairings: none
Warnings: none I can think of (does sort of Relena-centric count as a warning?)
Feedback: C&C
Notes: Lord knows why I've been spewing out Relena type stories. But here's another told from Zechs point of view. Hey, no Pink Floyd song this time around. This time The Cars of the Heartbeat City cd.
[--song lyrics--]
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belongs to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency and are only being used for non profit entertainment purposes.
[Who's gonna tell you when
it's too late?
Who's gonna tell you things
aren't so great?
You can't go on
thinking nothing's wrong
(poor thing)
Who's gonna drive you home tonight?]
There's no doubt about it. I'm a really bad brother. I can't blame the war or the Federation for that either. Sure initially Relena and I were separated when a very bloody coup resulted in my father's advisor passing Relena off as his daughter and I was left to my own means. I'm sure Dorlian would have taken me in as well, but because I was older and more in the public eye, there was no passing me off as kin.
I kept an eye on her from a distance though. I never said a word to anyone, but Noin suspected. That was pretty funny really. She was initially jealous that I was keeping such a close eye on the daughter of a colony diplomat. Once she realized it was love (well, not the kind she thought it was), I think a little research on her part resulted in preserving and ultimately protecting my little sister. Never mind that I never asked her to do any of that. But that's just Noin.
[Who's gonna pick you up
when you fall?
Who's gonna hang it up
when you call?
Who's gonna pay attention
to your dreams?
Who's gonna plug your ears
when you scream?]
Treize and I separately and together concluded that Relena needed to be unaffected by the war. She alone was going to be the wave of the future. The future of peace.
Now as I look at her (at a distance of course, old habits die hard) and I can't help but realize that we did her a great disservice. When does she get to be a teenager? Here she sits on a meeting working on negotiations with potentially warring factions on different parts of the globe. With the patience of Solomon she's sitting and listening to both sides and attempting to come up with compromises that will please both factions. She's a born diplomat even if that wasn't what she wanted to be when she grew up. What was it again? I think when she was two she wanted to be an astronaut. Well, she gets to travel to colonies and earth, that counts doesn't it?
I wish she had love in her life. I know she had been chasing Heero Yuy to creation and back since they met years ago. He rebuffs her advances at every turn. She pretends like he hasn't and continues the pursuit. I once thought of offering Yuy a bribe so he could be a little nicer to her. But the potential for something like that to backfire prevented me from doing so. I notice that Duo Maxwell makes half-hearted attempts to make her smile every now and then. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.
[You can't go on
thinking nothing's wrong
(poor thing)
Who's gonna drive you home tonight?]
I wish I could be the brother she needs. Someone who will look after her and keep her safe. I don't have that right. I didn't attempt to bond with her at any point after she learned of my existence. That's not true. When she sought me out on Libra, I was genuinely moved. Even if her little speech to me was rather self-righteous. I knew it was from the heart though. She just didn't understand what was going on. Yuy figured it out. I don't know if he ever bothered to tell her. It was probably for the best.
[Who's gonna hold you down
when you shake?
Who's gonna come around
when you break?]
I've always thought she was the strongest of all us Peacecrafts. Standing at the podium fielding questions about the future of the colonies and earth, she shows poise and confidence I'm sure deep down she doesn't feel. Like the diplomat she's developed into no one in the press conference is any the wiser.
I know Treize and I robbed her of a childhood. But remembering my own childhood which turned hellish at age six, I can't say she's missed very much. Of course, that's unfair. Times have changed.
[You can't go on
thinking nothing's wrong
(poor thing)
Who's gonna drive you home tonight?
Oh, you know
You can't go on
thinking nothing's wrong
Who's gonna drive you home tonight?]
I could step in and lead. It's not unheard of. I would love for her to step away from the fishbowl of being Vice Minister Darlian, poster child for peace in space and earth and just be Relena. Have some fun that doesn't involve a reporter or camera crew. Find someone to love and keep her happy. Let her shine.
I watched as she wearily headed to the pink limousine, Pargan holding the door open for her. She kept the pleasant, smiling face for the reporters and other vultures who take from her constantly. At the limo with her back away from the lights and cameras, I see the face of a child forced to be older than she really is. My heart aches for her. I really should stop running from my responsibility to keep her safe. I should stop hopping everywhere in the cosmos. I should be Milliardo Peacecraft, older brother and protector of Relena Peacecraft Darlian.
I hate that I'm such a coward.
OWARI
(:./babaca/drive)
