16-Sep-2003
NOTE: This commentary is a companion piece to The Drums of Heaven. Definite spoilers in this, so if you haven't read up through chapter 30, the cast respectfully suggests you hop over to the story and catch up. Then come back! ;-)
Duo: First, I am NOT wearing tights in chapter 31.
Hilde: I think you'd look cute in them.
Duo: Where's my gun?
Quatre: Oh, no, please. We've already shot enough holes in the studio, don't you think?
Relena: Quick! We have a question from a reader. Lady Jessy wanted to know if, uh, stuff like that can really happen.
Heero: What stuff? Tights?
Duo: Grrrr.
Relena: No, the... lemon-that-wasn't.
Quatre: Oh, the grapefruit.
Hilde: The what?
Trowa: A lemon is an explicit sex scene; a lime is a non-explicit sex scene. A grapefruit, as coined by CleverYoungThief, is a sex scene that didn't get completed.
Zefyr: And an orange is one that happens off-screen.
Duo: So that's why you're always throwing oranges at me. I've been getting laid and no one told me?
Zefyr: In the story, no. No oranges, no lemons, no limes, either.
Duo: In the story! All I've gotten in the story is a bunch of making out and... the grapefruit.
Heero: Do you mind?
Duo: Oh. Sorry.
Wufei: For your information, Lady Jessy, since no one else is speaking up... yes. It happens.
Relena: In my experience, it's usually the introverted ones. When you combine the vulnerability of a sexual experience with extreme emotion, especially if the heart's gotten involved, it can be overwhelming, and the body shuts down.
Wufei: .....
Heero: .....
Trowa: .....
Relena: Oh, please, guys. It happens to women, too.
Hilde: Well... actually... she's right. I had this friend, once, who was in love for the first time, and she just completely freaked out when she realized she was in love, and they were in the middle of sex, and she just burst into tears and stuff.
Duo: A friend.
Hilde: Don't even say it, or I'll bust you one.
Duo: Gotcha.
Wufei: Relena's right. That's pretty much how it can happen, but without the bursting into tears.
Relena: The tears are optional, I think. But I'm sure everyone's had at least one sexual experience where they've just frozen up, for whatever reason.
Quatre: What does a woman do, then?
Relena: Uh... depends.
Hilde: Just keep going, I guess. No reason to let your partner down just because you're flipping out for a minute.
Duo: You just kept going? After crying?
Hilde: That wasn't me, damn it. That really was a friend. But I've had it happen. I just... y'know... paused, then worked to get the mood back.
Heero: A guy can't. You lose it, and it's kind of obvious.
Wufei: This is true. Just like it's nearly impossible for a guy to fake an orgasm.
Trowa: That's not true.
Quatre: .....
Heero: .....
Duo: .....
Wufei: .....
Relena: So. Uh.
Hilde: Yeah.
Zefyr: How 'bout them Skins? You see they almost won a game a few weeks ago?
Duo: Wierdo.
Zefyr: Hey. So what does everyone think of the story so far?
Hilde: You've gotten a lot of compliments on the chapter leading up to the grapefruit scene, at least.
Zefyr: I had some good inspiration.
Duo: You're welcome.
Heero: Idiot.
Relena: So are the hackers completely useless now? What's with all the email questions?
Quatre: The whole problem is connecting Joe's death to the President. All we've got right now is circumstantial, and the team can't even connect their orders to a leader of any sort.
Trowa: Personally, I suspect part of the plan is that we're supposed to attract the same attention Joe did.
Wufei: Could be. You're not doing a very good job of it, so far, then.
Duo: We're working on it. Trust me, Trowa as Puss-in-Boots will attract attention plenty.
Hilde: Zefyr, why'd you break up the team, anyway?
Zefyr: I had to get Duo and Heero alone to develop their friendship. With all the other noise going on, it was constant distraction.
Trowa: But now we're back on track with the main storyline.
Zefyr: Mostly.
Quatre: Any hints on what's coming up next?
Zefyr: Uh... nope.
Quatre: Damn.
Wufei: Duo, have you spoken to Rat recently? Can he get into Zefyr's laptop?
Duo: Worth a shot.
Zefyr: Hey!
Heero: Duo... don't piss off the author.
Duo: Oh, 'Ro, don't be a spoilsport. I just wanna know---
Zefyr: One word, Duo: GRAPEFRUIT.
Heero: Duo, sit DOWN and shut UP.
Duo: *eep*
Quatre: So... about this statement that guys can fake orgasms...
Trowa: .....
