Standard disclaimers apply, i.e., these characters are not mine; they belong to their owners thus it's no use suing me. I have no money!
The sky was split in two by shining silver wings. Face upturned, a lean body with a remarkable braid of long chestnut hair fought his way to the edge of the tarmac, where a jumble of civilians and media reporters fretted anxiously at the ropes that barred entry. A wedge of heavy-duty bodyguards cut through the crowd and Duo's head turned enviously. He wished he were bigger to push a path so easily through the knot of people barring his way.
"Wing Zero... Wing Zero... !" The susurration rifled through the crowd.
With a scream of thrusters the airborne mobile suit shuddered close to the landing pad. Duo gave his neighbor a nasty glare and clutched at the ropes, his heart doing an unexpected skip.
This was it. This was the crux of their entire war-torn existence, this was finally the moment where peace became possible for them and they could leave the fighting behind. The glittering metal wings beat once, twice, stirring up debris from the concrete, and then the mobile suit had landed.
Heero was back.
Duo elbowed his encroaching neighbor and growled, ready to burst out onto the tarmac and greet...
"Heero!"
The voice made his head snap around. It gritted along his spinal cord like someone were pinching the nerves to see them twang. What the hell!?
The flying wedge of bodyguards brushed him aside and he reeled back against another body who shoved him unsympathetically. Then Relena Peacecraft was sweeping over the tarmac with a regal step, passing the line without qualm. Like a burst floodgate the gaggle of reporters followed her, waving their press passes and shouting out raucous questions.
The cockpit had just sprung open, a space-suited figure garbed in black stepping onto the ramp, and Duo's head snapped around as that familiar, high-pitched voice rang over the tarmac.
K'so! That little bitch! She'd promised never to...
Duo's attention was fixed on the Gundam. Heero stood stiffly on the opened hatch, weariness evident in every line of his black space-suited body, but only because Duo was looking for the infinitesimal cues.
"Heero!" the girl called out again, rushing across the landing area as the Japanese boy dropped to the tarmac.
K'so! Duo growled and started after her, breaking free of the crowd and nearly tumbling over the rope onto the concrete. He bounced to his feet and made a beeline for the Wing pilot, braid spraying out behind him. Part of his reaction was outrage at being brushed aside -- and part of it was sheer jealousy. She was beating him to the chase.
A swarm of press and news reporters had taken her cue and followed, crowding thickly around the slender figure that had hopped from the hatch to the tarmac.
"Heero, you're back! Yokatta ne!" her voice proclaimed as she reached him first, her hand resting lightly on his arm. Heero's slender body stiffened even further as Relena glided up to him, her posture inclusive and intimate. He shrugged her off and his eyes moved piercingly over the launch pad, a searchlight stare. Duo jumped up and down and waved. The cobalt eyes gleamed recognition.
"Heero -- like the Heero Yuy, leader of the colonies?" one reporter queried him.
"Miss Peacecraft, what role did this young man play in the war?"
"A very crucial one," Relena responded promptly. She latched on to Heero's arm again. "He's responsible for helping to create the peace that we will maintain."
Heero's eyes went wide and blank.
"Uh-oh," Duo recognized the warning signs. The last time he'd seen Heero give her that look, his fist had crashed into her face. He elbowed aside another reporter, ignoring the injured yelp, and threw himself at Heero.
"Heero! Oi, Heero man, we did it! We won the war!" Duo whooped, seizing him in an enthusiastic hug. Heero's body was motionless in his arms for a moment, and then the arms came up to grab him back, slipping around his waist and tugging him fiercely close. "We did it!"
He pulled back, still grinning with the whimsy of Heero's return embrace, one arm still slung around Heero's neck. Turning to face the reporters with Heero's arm around his waist, he gave them all a wide smile, then shot a glance at Relena. She was white-faced, her mouth compressed to a thin bitter line.
"Miss Peacecraft, who is this?"
"Another Gundam pilot?"
"Just another Gundam pilot... " Relena began evasively.
"This is Duo Maxwell," Heero interjected, sweeping the host of reporters with an indifferent stare. "One of the other four Gundam pilots who helped end this war."
Duo quirked an eyebrow at Peacecraft-san, who seemed to have forgotten his name in all the fuss. No doubt she was furious at his interruption, but if he hadn't stopped whatever she was about to say, Heero might have caused an incident on live television. Punching the Minister of Foreign Affairs in the mouth was *not* exactly good publicity, and it would hardly help them to settle down in one place, now that the war was over.
It was over.
They endured the storm of curious questions for another full five minutes, and Duo could feel Heero's body vibrating like a tense wire. Shit, they needed to get out of here -- Heero probably needed to shower and catch a good long sleep after a meal. Now that things were over, finally done with, he was going to make sure Heero took good care of himself.
If he didn't what kind of spouse would he be?
"Heero-kun! What are you going to do, now that the war is over?"
They froze just as Heero was starting to pull away, directing them inexorably out of the cluster of reporters. Heero turned and leveled the woman with a calm stare.
"Get some sleep," he replied simply.
"Duo-kun? What--"
Duo gave them a broad impersonal grin, lifting a finger to cut off the question. "I'm going to get someone a Christmas gift."
They stared in blank incomprehension. "Nani?"
His laughter trailed back at them as Heero seized his braid in one hand, hauling him off the tarmac and away from the reporters -- and Relena.
"Owowowowow... let up some, willya!?"
Heero was nearly passed out cold, but still managed to mumble something vaguely appreciative as Duo's skilled hands worked over his shoulders and trailed firm soothing pressure down his back, fingers and the heels of his palms digging out the tension.
A brush of a kiss was placed on his nape and then Duo flopped beside him, violet eyes glimmering at him. Heero managed to move one arm, throwing it over Duo.
"Better?" Duo inquired, bright-eyed.
"Mmph," he responded. He rolled onto his side and Duo squirmed over the comforter, plastering himself up against him. Light, undemanding kisses fluttered over his collarbones, the hollow of his throat, the point below his ear.
"Go to sleep," Duo enjoined him, placing a last kiss somewhere in the vicinity of his lips. Heero's eyes were getting foggy, anyway.
"Oyasumi... " he mumbled, drifting into the darkness that was, for the first time, a welcome relief. And Duo would be there when he woke up, for certain sure.
Duo smiled and nuzzled at his throat, ready to fall asleep next to him. Then the knocking started up. Hesitant at first, and then harder. Duo pulled away from Heero's possessive arm and got out of bed as quietly as possible, loathe to disturb Heero now that the Wing pilot had finally fallen asleep. He considered grabbing a shirt but decided it wasn't really necessary -- pants were good enough.
"Nani--?" he grumbled half-heartedly as he opened the door, royally pissed that someone was disturbing them just as he had a chance to fall asleep in Heero's arms, for the first time in a damned long time.
Relena stared him coolly in the face. Then red crept up into her cheeks once she realized he was wearing pants, and nothing else.
Duo blocked the door with his body and eyed her back, a cold feeling creeping into his guts.
"What do you want? You promised not to bother us again. As far as I see it, you've bothered us twice today. If Heero wakes up and finds you here, he's not going to be happy."
"I need to speak with Heero, not you," Relena replied calmly.
"Ojousan, we've been through this before," Duo said with growing unease. "Remember? I'm not going to let my guard down this time." He braced himself against the doorframe, wary and alert. "Don't make this get ugly."
Relena, to his great surprise, bowed her head. "About that... I'm sorry."
"Eh?" He stared at her in shock, brows rising into his hairline.
"I didn't mean -- I never... .well, I never expected to find Heero had been... " She blushed furiously and halted, her mouth working.
Duo sighed and leaned up against the door frame. At least she was trying.
"So I'm sorry. I was--" She bit her lip. "Upset. But you have to understand. Ever since he came to Earth, I followed his descent. For me, he's always been... "
Duo waited expectantly.
Her brows drew together. "You have to understand. I'm better for him. He's always been for me -- I knew when he said he would kill me, and failed." Her pale blue eyes were sincere. "He saved me. And I... " She stopped abruptly. "What you have isn't natural -- iie, it may be the natural result of companionship during war." She looked down again, blushed some more. "But it can't last."
Duo sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. She was eyeing him watchfully, as if he expected to begin a slew of protests. He just folded his arms, and eyed her back. "I accept your apology, Relena-san. But I still don't know why you want to see Heero, right now."
Relena's brow puckered. "I simply need to speak with him about matters that occurred before we returned to Earth."
He tipped his head at her, eyes narrowing further. "He's sleeping."
Her blue eyes were acquiring a hard sheen that he recognized all too well. It made Duo yearn for a cup. The last time she'd gone straight for the groin. "I just need a minute," she insisted. She looked as if she would cry. No, she wasn't here to hurt him -- she was being honest when she said she just wanted Heero.
Duo lifted a finger. "Iie, Relena-san, he's sleeping and I'm *not* going to disturb him." He grinned a bit fondly in spite of himself. Heero was an absolute bear after being awoken.
Her eyes flickered and Relena focused on his hand, her face growing intent and motionless. Fixing on the gleam of gold at his ring finger. She was fixated on his wedding band, her lips quivering. Her mouth moved without sound.
"You--" she choked, face crumpling. She was visibly ready to cry.
Duo took a step back and scowled, easing the door shut. He had no intentions of letting this escalate into another ugly little fight, or waiting until she *did* start crying, and have to deal with the results. So he tossed out his parting shot. "Ojousan, I won't do anything to you for showing up here. But if Heero wakes, I can't tell you what he might do."
"He can't hurt me," Relena retorted as he was closing the door.
"Hunh?"
"He owes me." Her voice was overridden with an unshakable complacency as he shut the door over her unwavering eyes.
Duo puffed out a relieved sigh and leaned against the door. Then, very deliberately, he locked it. His eyes skipped at once to the prone form of his lover -- Heero was still flat out on the bed, his soft snores bubbling up from a tilted mouth. Sound asleep. Duo's posture softened and relaxed.
"Kawaii," he chuckled, quiet so as not to disturb his sleeping Heero. He crossed the room and joined him on the bed, bracing himself by elbows to trace the contours of the sleeping face with eyes alone. Heero was beautiful like this, unguarded as he was only on two occasions, sleeping or the instant following release. And he must really be sleeping, because Duo knew he'd be decked if Heero ever heard him call him 'kawaii.'
Relena's uncanny visit struck him for a moment longer. Damn, that girl was persistent -- even after everything that had happened, she *still* sought Heero out. But... she hadn't been violent. She'd even apologized. Why? Was she really sorry? It was puzzling. But she had come for more than one reason, that was for sure.
'He owes me.'
The look in her eyes had been a deadweight sum of her breathless expectation. She wanted Heero -- she always wanted Heero -- and maybe she thought *he* was the only thing stopping him. Whatever it was, she could not be shaken from her unswerving purpose.
Duo quirked his mouth at the slumbering lax face of his lover. Something had happened, he guessed -- something to infuse fresh life into Relena's obsession for Heero. He frowned, lifting one finger to lightly delineate the shape of the devourable mouth. Heero was definitely a worthy object of anyone's obsession, he had to admit. *He* had succumbed to it. But Heero slept, so he would have to wait. Then he fisted his hand, eyes catching the glitter of his wedding band.
"You're too late, Relena-san," he whispered to himself, reassuring himself with the solid presence of Heero's slumbering mouth.
Whatever scheme or claim she sought to hook him in with now, it was useless. Heero was his.
It was the utter silence that snapped him to wakefulness finally, severed from the empty dreams and drifting anchorless in space. Heero blinked for a moment, disoriented, Relena's proprietary features giving way to the welcome relief of Duo's heart-shaped face and watchful, heavy-lidded purple eyes. The room was quiet, a startling contrast to the hum of machinery he had grown accustomed to sleeping around lately. Which accounted for his waking -- it was so quiet in their room.
"Ohayo," Duo murmured, voice thick and husky. He purred the word like a lazy lion, and the arm around his waist tightened.
Heero shifted, squirming a little. "Were you watching me the whole time?" It was a slightly unnerving thought.
"I dozed," Duo replied, a dusk whisper. "But mostly it was nice to watch you sleep, without worrying about having to wake you for anything." A sudden grin lit his face. "You looked so peaceful."
It was a sudden slowly-unfolding burst of realization. The war was over. They could do whatever they liked... He turned hard into Duo's body, seizing him in a cradling tight grip that crushed Duo up against him. Duo gasped then turned his mouth into Heero's neck, kissing him with fervor. "I missed you." He drew him as close as humanly possible, Duo's body pressed to his from mouth down chests and thighs, as close to be uncoupled.
"Me too," Duo admitted, as hoarse as he.
Heero buried his face in his lover's neck. Duo smelled good --not just for his own unique scent of musk-spicy skin and sweet-smelling shampoo, but for being here in his arms. Being here, breathing in Duo with nothing more compelling to do than lie jumbled together for however long they wished...
"It doesn't feel real." His voice was clinical and detached.
"Eh?" Duo nuzzled at him with slow deliberation.
"It's over."
"Mm-hmm," Duo agreed, his mouth forming a distracting pulse against an artery. Then he subsided, breath cool-gusting over his warm skin as he butted his head gently to Heero's, and kissed him again. "I love you."
"I... " Heero trailed off, then fit his lips to the comfortable place in the hollow of his throat. "You know."
Duo smiled at him and rubbed his nose lovingly against Heero's cheek. "I know."
"What now?" he prompted, loathe to move. They breathed together in a simple harmony that was two bodies entwined, a familiar sensation that belonged to them alone, now.
Duo made a 'hmm'ing noise of consideration. "Eto... well, where do you want to live?" He grinned and his lips danced over Heero's nose. "Koibito."
Heero growled at him and mock-snapped at the retreating lips. Duo's eyes went wide and then he started giggling uncontrollably. "What?" he demanded, surly.
"Heero, do you want to eat me?" Duo blinked at him, pretending to be solemn.
He lifted one eyebrow. "Ha, ha." Then he turned his mind to the earlier, more serious question. "I think I'd like to live on Earth... but... " Considering Relena, his face turned dark. When she had found out about he and Duo -- in what had to be the worst way possible, but no excuse for her actions -- she had reacted violently. True, she hadn't shown any indications of doing so ever again -- had even showed remorse. But she hadn't given up on *him,* either.
Duo's face was wistful. "Me, too. But the colonies aren't so bad, ne?"
*Why have we come to this colony?*
*To abandon you.*
Heero pushed aside those harsh matter-of-fact memories and focused completely on his lover's expectant face. "No... they're not so bad." He closed his eyes and felt Duo shift, pressing against him as he fitted his head against his neck, below Heero's chin. "As long as I'm with you."
"We could leave tomorrow," Duo suggested. "Avoid all the big fuss -- the end of the war celebrations."
There was a subdued note to his lover's voice and he cracked open one eye. That was Duo suggesting what he thought *he* wanted, and unlike his lover's personal choice. Duo was the one who'd want to be dancing in the streets and parading around, hauling him off to get buzzed and drinking in the heady sensation of victory until they stumbled home in the wee hours of dawn and passed out.
"No, we can stay for a bit longer," Heero replied. He set his mouth grimly. He could endure ridiculous partying, he supposed. If only to see how much of a fool of himself Duo really could make.
"Heero sugoi!" Duo cheered, showering him with ecstatic kisses. A pair of very determined hands began to express their appreciation.
"Hm... " Heero relaxed and pulled his lover closer. He could endure it, as long as Duo was available for distraction.
"Let me show you *how* much I missed you," Duo suggested, his grin falling prey to sensuality.
"I'll show *you,*" Heero returned, and with Duo's husky laughter ringing in his ears they both began to wrestle fiercely for top.
The bright lights bled hot pinpoints into his eyes and the press of bodies surpassed congenial closeness, but he kept his arm around Heero's waist and together they slogged through the noisy, thick sea of triumphant civilians. Iie, he had to remind himself -- they weren't fighting anymore, they were no longer soldiers. So they were civilians, too.
Blaring street music filled the air along with streamers fluttering from building tops and confetti given wing by eager hands. Everyone was celebrating -- dancing, partying, crowding together and sharing food from street vendors who'd reduced their prices for this one occasion. The end of war.
The start of a new era.
"You hungry?" he yelled in the general direction of Heero's ear. The slim body twisted in the circle of his arm and intense blue caught at his eyes, shooting him a quizzical look. He repeated his question, ducking close to Heero, smiling as the noise gave him an excuse for such close contact. Heero shrugged.
"Well, I am," he declared, looking around. "And I wanna dance, too."
"I'll go get something," Heero responded, and before Duo could manage a 'matte' Heero had disappeared into the crowd.
"K'so!" How would Heero find him again? A lazy smile touched his lips. *Heero* would be able to find him.
He wandered by another band, a group of young rockers playing modern music with graceful abandon and he grinned. Dancing *did* sound like fun, and Heero wasn't much for dancing anyhow. Maybe that was why he'd left for a moment-- even though Heero had come with him tonight. And what he'd said before they had left...
"What if people think we're a couple?"
"Then they figured it right."
"But you're not embarrassed? I mean, what if people call us names... "
"Then I'll beat the shit out of them."
"Wai! You're so romantic, Heero-ch--"
"You call me 'Heero-chan,' and I'll beat the shit out of YOU."
He grinned again with the remembrance. The war was over, and not only did they not have to worry about being thrown into battle after battle, moving mobile suit pawns in a war where the enemies always weren't so clear cut... But he and Heero could be together. And Heero didn't care what anyone thought -- the whole world could know.
Duo was starting to dance, moving in a living rhythm that thrummed through his bones, dancing with the sort of abandon he hadn't felt in a long time. Bodies bumped against him, some tried to clutch and laughing he spun away. Male, female, it didn't matter -- he didn't want *any* of them. He had his Heero, now and forever.
Another bump nearly caused him to tumble face-first onto the pavement, and someone grabbed at his shoulders, keeping him upright. Duo's eyes widened.
"Aiyah... be careful, ne? Wouldn't want to... " The lilting tease of her voice trailed off when she recognized him.
"Oi, fancy meeting you here!" he favored the girl with a wide grin.
Hilde blinked back at him, then returned the expression with a hesitant smile. "Hi, Duo. It's been awhile, ne?" She seemed suddenly subdued.
He bobbed his head, feeling awkward all at once. There had never been anything between he and Hilde but the girl's own expectations --yet unlike Relena, she had recognized it. And once he told her about Heero, she had been upsurgingly embarrassed -- and hadn't looked at him quite the same ever since.
"How are you?" he asked, gentling his tone.
Hilde's face brightened all at once, a beacon of determined cheer. "Terrific! Everything is terrific now, ne? The war is over!"
"Everyone's saying that," Duo grinned. "Like no one can really believe it yet, but everyone is relieved and happy." His grin widened and he looked out over the crowd.
"Looking for him?" Her voice was wistful.
"Aa, he went to go get some food. Heero's not much for dancing."
"How are you two doing?" Hilde sounded genuinely interested, not like she was forcing herself to be polite. She had always been a sweet person, one who was thoroughly in touch with her feelings.
Duo simply grinned like a fool and fished the ring out out his shirt, from where it hung on a chain. It dangled, a simple gold wedding band.
Hilde gasped. "Oh, Duo... ometedou!" Her bright smile wavered for a moment, then firmed. "I'm happy for you. You both deserve the happiness together, after everything that happened. After the war."
Duo nodded, rubbing a hand sheepishly over his head. "Well, I never would have thought it -- but Heero, well... he gave it to me." Carefully he slipped the chain off, then tugged at the ring and showed it to her. "He didn't ask me -- I don't think he *could* -- so he let this speak for him."
The dark-haired girl took it, examining the inscription. *Forever together.* When she looked up, her eyes were bright with moisture. "It's beautiful. I never thought Heero-kun was a romantic." She smiled bravely.
"Ch', I never thought he was, either! I think mostly he was just chickening out on the actual asking part... " Duo gave her another grin and Hilde bobbed her head, handing the ring back. "Having fun tonight?"
"Eh," Hilde replied, nodding her head again. Her eyes were sparkling in her fresh round face. She gave him a sly, mischievous look. "There are plenty of handsome young ex-officers to go around."
Duo started, then gave a guffaw of laughter, slapping her on the back. Hilde was still smiling.
"That's the spirit! Ne, I better go find Heero -- I'm not entirely sure where he went... " He peered at her, wondering whether he should ask her to join them. Heero would probably resent the intrusion, but Hilde was a friend.
"Go, go and find him," HIlde made shooing motions with her hands. She gave him a thumb's up. "You're happy with him, Duo, and that makes me glad too."
Duo hesitated, then gave her a last broad grin before he dove into the crowd.
Hilde looked after him with wistful eyes once he'd departed. What she hadn't said - what she couldn't ever say -- was that he was the first love for her, the one that she would never forget and didn't want to. Just seeing him hurt, but it was a sweet ache because Duo was just... Duo. But not *her* Duo; that place was reserved for another.
Something jangled under her foot over the concrete and Hilde looked down, startled. A gleam of gold flickered at her.
"Matte -- Duo, wait up!" she called out loudly, but Duo had been swallowed by the sea of close-packed bodies. She stooped and grabbed up his wedding band. The chain was unfastened; it must not have caught when he thought it had. Hilde fisted it tightly and tried to push her way in the direction Duo had gone. Heero-kun would undoubtedly be pissed if his lover lost their wedding band.
Hilde sighed and blew a wisp of bang out of her eyes. "That baka. He's the same as he ever was, that reckless... " A smile touched her lips. "Loudmouthed baka."
She edged her way through the dense undertow of people. Duo had disappeared completely; he was beyond sight. It struck her for a piercing second, how bitterly amusing this was. Searching for the boy she loved, only to give him the ring that bound him to another. Another boy, even, which had startled her. She hadn't thought Duo's preferences lay that way. He hadn't seemed the type... then she chided herself for such bigoted thoughts.
She jolted up against another girl in the pressing crowd and the blonde cried out. Hilde steadied her, nearly dropping the ring.
"Sumimasen!" Hilde apologized frantically, catching the ring and holding it up with a puff of relief.
"That's all right," the blonde replied, and then her eyes narrowed. "Where did you get that!?"
Hilde took a step back and was bumped from behind. The blonde's eyes were riveted to the ring, with an intensity she'd never seen from anyone but Heero-kun before. Chotto... wasn't she... "Relena Peacecraft-sama?" Hilde wavered.
"Yes, that's me," Relena responded with a dismissive wave. Her hungry eyes fastened on the ring again. "Where did you get that?"
"Why?" Hilde returned, on guard. The other girl was a little *too* curious, *too* intent.
Relena waved her hand around airily. "Because it looks like Heero's."
Hilde raised an eyebrow. "Duo-kun dropped it."
The fine blonde brows raised up in astonishment. "Honto? What was *he* doing with my ring?"
"Y-your ring... ?" Hilde echoed, astonished. Impossible. Duo didn't lie. "You must be mistaken. This is Duo's ring. Heero-kun gave it to him."
The pretty features hardened and Hilde suddenly wondered if she could just slip away into the crowd and get away from the girl, who suddenly looked as if she would hit her.
"Heero is *my* sweetheart," she replied, tossing back long blonde tresses.
Hilde took a step back. What was the girl up to? It wasn't worth fighting for; she had to get away and find Duo, to give the ring back to him. "Excuse me," she murmured, edging further away. Relena grabbed at her wrist.
"You're not going anywhere."
"N-nani?" Hilde tried to step back but the other girl had her wrist latched in an implacable hold.
Relena's eyes widened and she suddenly ducked close to Hilde. "Put the ring on."
"Whaaaat?" Hilde replied dazedly. Relena's fingers plucked at the gold ring. "What are you doing?" Hilde tried to twist away but Relena's face was stomy and intent, and she couldn't be pried away from her objective. Now Hilde was really confused. "What are you talking about, why--"
"Just put it on!" Relena wrenched the ring away from her at last, and slipped it roughly onto Hilde's ring finger, bruising the joint in her strength and haste.
"Relena-sama, wha--"
"Why Hilde, what a positively lovely wedding band!" Relena gushed, her expression metamorphosing yet again, into a pleasant expression this time of social congeniality.
"What?" Hilde uttered dazedly, completely thrown off guard by the girls' sudden transformation from a determined attempt to take the ring to this sweet, attentive young lady. A mask had fallen into place, impenetrable and honey-fooling. She was reeling from the girl's strange attitude. What was she up to!?
"Where did you get it?" Relena's eyes were piercing and intent.
"Relena-sama, you know very well that Duo--" she protested.
"Proposed already? How wonderful!" Relena cut her off, smiling brightly. "Ometedou gozeimasu."
Hilde reeled. Why was Relena doing this? It was so cruel! She could never be Duo's wife, yet it was the one thing she longed for most in the world. It was also the one thing that would never happen. And to have it shoved in her face now, the gold gleam of his wedding band winking up at her from her own finger, when she knew who the ring really *was* for, and from whom -- it made something in her chest clench up with clawing hurt.
"Why?" she managed numbly, the small sound devoured by the roaring surf composed of the crowd's hundred throats.
A compact muscled body shouldered past them and Hilde stumbled against Relena. Then as he disappeared once more into the crowd, Hilde recognized the tousled mop of dark hair, the body held stiffly upright at enduring attention. "Heero-kun!" She started after him. "Chotto matte, Heero-kun!"
Her arm was seized in a pincher grip and Hilde gasped, turning into Relena's matter-of-fact eyes. "He can't hear you," the blonde girl said coolly.
Hilde was struck with the force of the girl's duplicity. "But he heard *you,*" she breathed. K'so, what would Heero do once he found Duo now, after hearing Relena's lie? Thinking he had given away their ring. A betrayal. And Relena had... "Why did you do this!?"
Laughing, the Peacecraft released her. "Thank you." Relena gave her a short, appreciative bow. "Maybe now he'll realize Duo is nothing to him."
"You... " Hilde was frozen. Words failed her. As much as she had railed at Duo's choice in her own mind -- Heero seemed so cold and unfeeling -- and had entertained thoughts of doing something drastic, never in a million years would she have sought to separate them. Duo was obviously very much in love. She cared about Duo, and seeing him happy was better than being with him, and having him miserable. Even though she... "How could you? Heero's going to think that Duo betrayed him!"
Relena smirked.
"You want Heero," Hilde exhaled, horrified, seeing it in the girl's eyes. "Oh, no... I have to find him!" She plunged into the packed street of bodies, hurrying away from the triumph dwelling in Relena's pale blue irises.
Relena smoothed out her skirt, satisfied. The damage had been done -- a better opportunity than she had planned, herself! And now she could find Heero and offer him her sympathy, her comfort... But at the very least, she had given him the excuse to break off that unnatural relationship.
She turned away, into the crowd, ignoring the little voice in the back of her head that had withered under Heero's searing glance. His face had been rigidly expressionless, the very lack of emotion telling her he had probably been upset. It was the wrong way to go about things.
But she *had* to get Heero away from Duo.
She *had* to have a chance to explain things, the chance he had never given her.
He fought against the crowd, pushing more against the bitter familiar emptiness that welled up inside his chest than any impediment of bodies. *This* was why, this was the reason he'd kept himself apart, rigidly separating emotion and logic. Feelings were a weakness, a chink in his armor where hurt could follow. He'd trusted Duo.
It hurt.
Why had Odin Lowe urged him to follow his feelings!? It only resulted in this...
Why? Why!?
The ring that he'd given Duo -- the ring Duo had asked for, before they sealed the promise with a kiss, 'Forever Together,' -- he'd seen it gleaming bright on Hilde's finger. It was unmistakably the same band, with its delicate pattern of herringbone filigree. And all too clearly he remembered *not* seeing it on Duo's finger, together in their bedroom. He had asked Duo to wait for him, to put it on a chain and keep it until They could set the war aside. A promise together.
Yet he'd seen it. Duo's ring on Hilde's finger.
Heero broke into a run, evoking startled protests from the faceless people he shoved aside. He had to find Duo; he had to know why.
If it had only been Relena, grabbing his arm and saying to his face that Duo had given away their ring, he would have simply snorted and walked away.
"Relena-sama, you know very well that Duo--"
"Proposed? Congratulations."
And the ring on her finger.
There was a sick tightness to his ribcage where before only the emptiness had dwelled. He couldn't understand why Duo had been so soft with him earlier, why he'd been keeping vigil while he slept. Why he'd awoken to those soft, considering eyes. And then realization hit his gut and Heero sucked in a breath, lungs burning. He could feel his face harden in response, to keep any emotion from registering.
What if Duo had meant to break it off in that moment? What if... he'd been trying to figure the best way to do it? Pondering it, all that time.
And then, what had followed... that had been the last time.
Why? WHY!?
When was Duo going to tell him it was over?
He tracked down the pilot of Shinigami by the long braid of gold-threaded chestnut hair. Heero reached out and tugged it, receiving a yip in reply. Duo whirled around.
"Oi, man, hands off the -- Heero!" He broke out into a huge welcoming grin. "Oi, Heero, I was looking all over for you!" Duo was giving him a goofy, doting expression.
Heero ignored it and stood immobile, clenching his fists. They worked open and closed as he struggled to control the sudden upsurge of anger. How could Duo seem so... so... happy?
"Heero -- something wrong?" Duo blinked at him, one hand reaching up.
He seized the hand in his own and Duo flinched at the sudden bruising pain. His expression turned bewildered as Heero examined it, bringing the hand up to his scrutiny. The ringless hand.
"Where is it, Duo?"
"Hunh?" Duo's eyes widened at him in genuine confusion.
"Where is it? Our ring?"
"Oh!" Duo's face lit up in comprehension and he dipped his free hand into the neck of his red shirt, groping around. "Eto... uhm... " He frowned, fingers scrabbling at the nape of his neck. Then his face turned chagrined.
Heero watched with impassivity.
Duo's face fell. "Heero... I don't know. It was just here, on the chain... now the chain's not even here... "
"Let me refresh your memory," Heero gritted, interrupting him. "You gave it to Hilde."
Duo blinked. "Sou ka!" His face lit up again and Heero stared for a moment, shock tangling his guts. How could he be so... so... !? "I showed it to Hilde, and it must have fallen!"
Heero's lip curled. "It was on her finger, Duo."
It was Duo's turn to stare in shock. "Nani?"
Heero frowned. Duo's surprise was too genuine to be faked. "Hilde... was showing it to Relena... "
"Relena," Duo echoed, abruptly expressionless. "Heero, I didn't know the ring wasn't around my neck. That's where it was ten minutes ago, before I showed it to Hilde. I swear to you--"
"Hn," Heero replied, eyes turning inward as he thought back on Relena, her attitude and Hilde's, and how the Peacecraft had done most of the talking. Hilde had seemed more stunned... But no. Relena was just crafty enough to take advantage of that kind of opening. He'd underestimated her; he hadn't thought she would have the audacity to meddle with them again.
But after what had happened so recently, it wasn't surprising that she thought she still had a chance.
"You don't believe me?" Duo asked, voice growing heated, mistaking his reflective pause for dubiousness. "Damn it, Heero, if you love me... "
"If I love you, what?" Heero repeated, tone flat and dangerous. He was on a quivering knife's edge, both from the shock of thinking Duo had betrayed him, and the success of Relena's trick, and his own resonating response to the ultimatum crouching in Duo's words. He didn't take ultimatums.
Duo plowed on, heedless to the threat in Heero's voice. Maybe hearing and not caring anyhow. "If you love me, you wouldn't question me like this. You should know me better than that." His eyes were snapping with anger, his cheeks flushed.
It was a sinking feeling. Maybe he *should* know better. But that wasn't the part that struck out, squirming nastily to strike at Duo the way he'd felt stricken.
"Then maybe I don't."
The words popped out of his mouth before he could stop them. They drove hammering under his ribcage with wrenching finality.
Duo's face went white.
"Heero -- " he choked, then violently tore his hand away, where Heero still had it in a loose grip. In an almost detached moment, Heero noted the band of whitened skin around the ring finger. It was lost, yet Duo still wore a pale shadow.
His mouth worked but he couldn't force the words past the choking sum total of his own pride. But if he didn't say *something,* Duo might believe the words, the false sounds that had sucked up the hollowness out of his own chest and somehow taken on a horrible life of their own. Creating a gap between them.
Duo was trembling. "How... how could you believe that I would just toss it away to a girl, after all I went through to get it? To get *you!?*" Duo's eyes hardened with anger. "Damn you, Heero -- k'so! If you don't believe I really love you, if you'd doubt that even now... "
More ultimatums.
"Then what?"
It was someone else. It had to be some stranger, forcing out those cold impersonal words into the space between them, widening the gap. A *stupid* stranger, to throw away the warmth of Duo's love!
The American drew himself up, body still trembling with the aftershocks the hard separation his words implied. "Then we're finished."
The words were nearly swallowed up by the roar of the crowd, triumphant delighted refrains of songs, snatches of laughter and happy celebration filling his ears. It was a horrific counterpoint to the almost surreal breaking that was happening here, between himself and Duo. But he could still see Duo's lips and the impact of those words was sharper than a rifle. The war couldn't break him. Losing Duo could.
Yet Duo was right. He had doubted him. He had believed Relena's deception, the shock of Duo's ring seated on Hilde's finger drilling into his head.
*If you don't believe I really love you... *
He lunged forward and covered a surprised Duo's lips. Duo blurted in surprise then grabbed him, hands sliding automatically to settle on his waist. Heero kissed him with intensity, a mounting desperation to memorize the shape of the lips beneath his own. Duo's tongue pressed against his lips and he parted them, letting him in, their tongues dancing tag in a slow motion moment as everything else rushed by. He cupped the round flushed cheek under one hand, and pulled away. Duo murmured a protest.
"Heero... I... "
Heero disentangled himself. He captured Duo's eyes and held himself stiffly, holding back a wracking shiver with resolve. He knew what he had to do.
"Sayonara, Duo."
Duo's violet eyes shattered. "Wh-what?" he mouthed against the backdrop of the crowd.
A wrenching sensation tugged at his chest. This was stupid, this was a stupid thing to do... but he was even stupider; he'd proved it --he'd doubted Duo. He turned away and mechanically began walking. The crowd swallowed him more thoroughly than the loss that engulfed him at once.
He turned almost immediately as the sensation threatened to bring him to his knees. He couldn't do it. If it was a weakness, he didn't care -- Duo was the only thing for him that remained after the war.
He turned to go back to him, to somehow fumble for the words to fix things.
Duo was gone.
It was a dull, resonant ache -- like the uncontrollable shakes following an adrenaline rush, the ones that presaged a collapse. Only now, however much Duo wished he could sink into the comforting mindlessness of black unconscious, some cruel trick of his brain wouldn't let him. Heero's cold words had peeled through the layers of his defenses, hurting him in the place he lived.
"Teme!" Duo gritted, icy-hot pinpricks searing the corners of his eyes, but going no further. Habit kept him from the release of crying, even. "Baka yarou! That *bastard!*" After everything they'd gone through -- the war, separation, Relena -- now *this* and Heero was gone.
Duo loved him so much it hurt. In fact, he was hurting right now *because* he loved Heero so much. With no one else in his life had he been so open, granting them this much access to his guarded heart and mind, not even as close inside him as Solo and Maxwell Church had been...and now Heero had that access, and he was laid bare. Heero had the power to damage him the way no one else did, with a single hateful sentence.
Sayonara, Duo.
He stumbled through the crowd, buffeted by a wave of bodies, bruising and uncaring. It was a horrible shock, how the bottom could be ripped out of his happiness in just a few short minutes. Fifteen minutes ago --maybe not even that -- he'd been happy with his life, his lover, and the glowing future they'd surely have together.
Now Heero was gone, and he wasn't entirely sure why.
He slumped to a miserable ball on the curb, drained of the will to push his way any further. He could take all the steps away from Heero that he liked, distancing himself from the place where it had happened, but the hurt followed. It sat inside and throttled his ribcage with relentless talon-tipped fingers.
"Heero," he murmured, senses dulling until he'd blocked out everything but the agony.
After an interminable length of time, during which he replayed that wrenching instant over and over again, a whiff of air settled in front of him and then a familiar face peered at him worriedly. "Duo."
His irises swiveled to fix on her and he tried to muster up a smile. "Hilde. Yo."
"Duo...gomen ne...you dropped this." Her warm fingers pressed the band into his chill ones, and for a violent instant he resisted the urge to pitch it into the crowd. Lost forever.
Hilde's expression was trembling and apologetic, as if she realized what had happened, between him and Heero. Well, she must know. As if the sorry figure he cut wasn't enough of a clue.
"Thank you," he replied, voice dull as he responded with the automatic courtesy, unable to manage even a feeble smile.
"Duo, I'm so sorry. Relena-sama--"
"I already know," he interrupted her, dropping his gaze to stare at the wedding band in his palm. He didn't want her words to force him to relive that awful instant again. The inscription that swam in his vision made the little beast inside his chest turn from shredding his ribcage to gleefully bleed his heart. 'Forever together.' A bitter laugh squeezed out of his throat. "And even after we figured it out, I questioned his love for me."
Stupid, Duo. Stupid. Baka ne! You *know* Heero's a literal bastard! This was as much his fault as his lover's.
"Well, don't just sit here!" Hilde's sharp voice was a slap to the face, penetrating the haze clouding his perceptions.
Duo looked up, startled out of his funk. Hilde gave him a sliver of a smile.
"You love him, don't you?"
"Aa..."
"Then go *after* him, baka! Don't let him go." Her expression was a wry mixture of mischief and longing. "You'll be miserable without him, ne? So don't just give up and sit here like a moron!"
Duo blinked, then pulled a long face at himself. Yes, his world had come tumbling down around his ears -- but Duo Maxwell did not give up so easily! Maybe Heero was going to be a fatalistic bastard, giving up their relationship for lost the first time they made a mistake, but not him! Come to think of it -- Heero had an awful predilection for self-destructing the moment he thought he'd failed. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed that was what he was doing now. Punishing himself -- and Duo, by extension -- for misjudging the situation. For "failing" him.
He leapt to his feet, determination settling over his features and Hilde's face brightened in reply.
"Yosh'! I'll show him Duo Maxwell doesn't give up so easily!" Duo fisted the ring and smacked his clenched fingers into his palm.
"That's it!" Hilde beamed at him. "That's m-- that's the Duo I know!"
He grinned at her, then put the ring securely on his finger before anything *else* could happen.
Hmm...where would Heero be?
"Thanks, Hilde!" he tossed out, and the former OZ pilot just smiled and bowed her head as he darted into the mob again.
Well...he'd just stake out Wing Zero. Sooner or later, his lover could wander the whole world but he would have to go back to his precious Gundam. Of that Duo could be sure. It was a carryover from the days he thought Heero cared more about Wing than anything else, even him.
But first...there were a few things he had to get.
Coming to a dead stop at the fringe of the celebrations, Heero ground fists into his eyes until the iridescent bursts against his eyelids eclipsed the moment Duo's violet eyes fractured. He had done it. There was no escaping that. It was *his* abrupt words that had driven the final wedge, not Relena's deception, and he couldn't avoid it. He could not deny the consequences of his own actions.
"I don't deserve him," Heero informed himself coldly. His stomach clenched reply.
This was supposed to be a night of festivities, of celebration for the war they'd helped to end. And somehow had come through, with both their lives intact. And now he'd managed to ruin it for the one person that mattered, for the boy he should be sharing it with.
"K'so," he muttered, turning away from the bright lights and happy faces. The only thing he deserved now was darkness.
The war was over.
But a life perfecting the ability to kill, to maim and cause pain, was not so easily cast aside. The reflex remained. And though Duo was no enemy, he had lashed out after feeling himself attacked by those words. If...then... "If you loved me..." "Then maybe I don't." Thrust. Parry. Riposte. The war was over, but it was the only way of life he deserved.
There was no place for him, a boy who knew nothing but how to hurt. And now he'd hurt the one thing that could have given him purpose *beyond* war.
"Might as well go self-destruct," he mocked himself, with a hollow accompanying laugh.
"What's so funny?" a smooth honey tone interrupted his desolation.
Heero's spine crackled upright. He whirled.
"What are YOU doing here!?" he growled, one fist upraising automatically. His triggered reflex was one of violence, always. With a muttered curse Heero let his hand drop. It was this kind of automated response that had pushed Duo away.
Relena Peacecraft eyed him coolly, a small knowing smile sitting on her calm features. Heero resisted the urge to wipe the almost-smirk off her face with a backhand. Her mouth twitched upwards. "I know you won't hurt me. You can't -- you're indebted to me." Her pale blue eyes were confident, and dismayingly accurate. "I know you, Heero."
He gritted his teeth. She *thought* she knew him, and that superficial veneer of her smug suppositions was more dangerous than Duo's true knowledge of him. Relena shaped the primacy of her initial notions to fit her into her own world, extending to everything from her pacifist ideals to her view of *him.* She was accustomed to getting her own way. But he would never be for her what she wanted.
"I'm leaving," he informed her, voice harsh, and turned to go.
"Where will you go?" Relena inquired, eyes fixed on him. With two hands she smoothed her skirt out.
Heero glared at her. He couldn't kill her -- he couldn't touch her, even though for sheer satisfaction he'd like to somehow make her feel the moment of stunned immobility, the seize of pain he'd felt on seeing Duo's wedding band on Hilde's finger. Which had been *her* doing. Even now, she felt no remorse -- she stood there, actually feeling *good* about what she'd done!
He looked at her and shook his head at the watchful look in her eyes. He knew he couldn't do it.
Relena was the 'Queen of the World,' the Minister of Foreign Affairs, the head of the Sank kingdom and as such, she was important. He ground his teeth to admit it, but she was necessary to continue peace along its course, with her will to force matters into an ordered reality. She had a place in this post-war life, in the way of things, that he did not have.
But she would *never* force him into her ordered reality.
"Away from you," he responded rudely, and turned at last. He had to get away from her before his reflex outstripped his reason. Or before she laid any claims.
"Heero. I'll see you again. Yakusoku soru," Relena informed him. Her voice was maddening. When the red receded from his vision, she was still talking. "I owed you my life once -- now you owe me yours."
It galled him. He nearly screamed aloud with rage, roaring a defiance that had only gripped him before in the middle of battle, the urge to shout out his pain and bitter fury at a world that had never given him the ability to do anything but kill, and become a soldier-pawn, and dream of Death. Well, Death had come into his life, the lover he had always dreamed of and more, and Death had not claimed his life.
No, Death had claimed his soul.
He turned again, so swift she almost jumped. "All right," he agreed evenly. "I owe you. What do you want to do about it?"
Relena tilted her head for a second, then gave him a tiny smile. "I'm leaving to go home tomorrow. Back to the Sank kingdom. I'd like it very much if you would come to see me."
So polite. So civil. He scowled. Yet it wasn't an unreasonable demand. After all, she hadn't asked that he go *with* her. Instead, he replied with something she didn't expect. "Why do you always follow me around?" Simple. Direct. Hopefully he'd get a reasonable answer.
Relena's smile deepened. "You told me once that you would kill me. Well...I know why you can't." She ducked her head, cheeks flushing faintly.
Heero frowned. She had no idea why he couldn't kill her.
"We'll see," he replied to her earlier question, and turned before she could reach out and detain him.
He broke into a run, feet carrying him with swift certainty to the rented room he'd been sharing with Duo.
If he did this -- if he walked away, if he cut the most important thing out of his life, it would be Relena who won as a part of his soul that he'd only recently discovered bled away. Trained reflex, striking back to hurt in equal measure, had caused this initial wedge to be driven. If he let Duo slip through his fingers forever, though, the blame was entirely his. Instinct or Relena could not be held accountable. Only his own stupidity.
Pride lay in pieces, compared to the alternative.
It took him nearly a half-hour of steady running, but he kept up the pace, brow soaked by the time he got back. He and Duo had taken a bus to the celebrations, earlier. Laughing, Duo had lurched into him when the bus swept around a curve, forcing him to either put an arm around him, or be toppled. Braid still wet from their shower together, he had chattered on happily about prospects in the colonies, and the best place to settle. Together.
It was his -- *their* -- promise. 'Forever together.'
Nothing Relena said, not even her promise, her expectations, or her reminder of his debt, could eclipse that. Now...if only he wasn't too late.
The room was dark and empty, when he got back. Duo shoved back trite comparisons to his heart and mood and bit his lip when his eye fell on the bed, still rumpled from their earlier romp. A towel lay crumpled and discarded in the middle of the floor. Dammit, why did the place reek of Heero?
*Stupid,* he told himself. *Because Heero's your lover. And you made love in this room.* He resolutely ignored the bed and cast about for his knapsack.
When Heero had landed, one of the reporters had asked what he was going to do, after the war. Heero had slept. But *he* hadn't gotten that Christmas gift yet...and this wasn't July, it was just the right time for this gift and hopefully Heero would remember what it meant.
A wry smile tugged his lips.
That failing, he could always use it to *forcefully* prevent Heero from leaving.
Duo found the knapsack and upended it over the bed. His stuff spilled out of the bag in a jumbled mess, small treasures and odds and ends too precious to give up even in the middle of war. His much-battered minidisc player and the knotted tangle of headphones; a snapshot of himself and Heero, taken at one of the high schools they had attended together, an old silver hairbrush missing some bristles that Heero had used to brush his hair out. The lucky yen piece that he had loaned to Heero, making him promise in the middle of a war-torn world that he would return the money someday. If Heero Yuy borrowed something, Heero Yuy was damned well obligated to return it, and discharge his debts. And he had.
And the last...Duo sucked in a breath, a grin creeping over his face in spite of himself. The small, compact black oval case reminded him of an afternoon of experimenting, and trust, that was the sum of their relationship. Both of them had been hesitant and experimental in the beginning. And slowly, even unwillingly, trust had developed between them.
Resulting in a bond more unbreakable than the hard exterior of Gundam.
It was *that* he had to remind Heero of, if only he was given the chance.
Duo stood, unfurling his limbs in a liquid movement, ready to skip out of the hotel and the room that still smelled like Heero, and go perch himself on Wing Zero for as long as it took.
Maybe, if things had gone differently, he would have been able to be happy with Hilde. And just maybe, Heero *would* have ended up with Relena. She was certainly persistent enough to pursue him to the ends of the earth -- she'd proved it -- and just maybe, her incessant attempts to draw him out would have partially succeeded. At least enough to win her the trappings of a Perfect Soldier husband. As for him, well --Hilde was a sweet girl, and fought for what she believed in...how could he *not* like the girl; she had saved his life!
Duo scowled, grabbing up his bag and tossing the long braid over his shoulder. Well, Relena *hadn't* won him first; *he* had. Maybe it was pure Maxwell luck, maybe it was fate.
What mattered to him now was that he didn't let a good thing go.
It was an easy task to slip past security at the base; everyone was out celebrating. The war was over and people were happy. There had even been talk of melting all the mobile suits down as a decisive action of pacifism.
Hands on his hips, Duo threw his head back and looked at Wing. The impersonal "eyes" of the suit stared out into the night, every bit as expressionless as Heero's face ever got.
"Where's your partner, huh?" Duo gave the mobile suit a lopsided smile and climbed up to sit on the opened hatch. He seated himself cross-legged and sighed as he looked out on the bright twinkling lights of the city.
Everyone was so happy tonight.
Everyone... He bit his lip and dug through his knapsack, extracting the headphones. Might as well *try* to keep himself entertained while he waited for Heero. If Heero ever showed up.
He *had* to show up.
And he'd have to tread over his dead body to get to that cockpit!
Duo scowled and flipped on the disc player. This stakeout was more than a little pathetic, and every bit as obsessive as Relena had ever gotten. But he *had* to prove to Heero that things weren't over between them. He wouldn't let them be. Sure, they had issues to discuss. But damn it, Heero was NOT going to walk out of his life with a kiss and a sayonara.
"Fatalist," he accused the absent Japanese pilot.
Then he settled onto his back, arms folded beneath his head, and blinked up at the stars. They twinkled back softly. The music was a promise and a reminder of what they had -- what they would still have! He blinked fiercely, and fell asleep trying very hard not to cry.
*Boys don't cry.*
The door banged open and Heero tossed the room in a single glance. Duo wasn't here but he had been -- his knapsack was gone.
K'so!
He shut the door behind him, locked it, and only then let himself slide to the floor, braced against the unyielding wood, arms locked around his knees as he stared at the bed. The rumpled bed. The room smelled like Duo.
*Stupid. He could be anywhere by now.*
He got up and methodically gathered his things. He wouldn't be needing the room any longer. And he couldn't stand to stay here for another night, scenting Duo, feeling the absence all along his skin, when it was only his stupidity and vicious reflexes that had caused it. He couldn't stay here and then face Relena in the morning.
Heero paused, spotting a jumble of things on the bed. Duo's stuff. Why – !?
He closed his eyes and his face hardened again, falling into that so-familiar non-expression. Closing out emotion.
Reminders. A picture taken at one of those high schools, of he and Duo. Duo's arm thrown casually around his shoulders -- and after the snapshot had been taken, he'd tossed the arm away and given him a hard glare. Uncomfortable on the inside with his own reaction to the gesture.
A battered silver hairbrush, stolen way back when from some supermart or another. Missing more than a few bristles, but for some reason Duo had kept the thing. Maybe because he'd used it time and again to brush out Duo's hair.
The lucky yen piece that Duo had loaned to him, eyes desperate. Prying a promise out of him despite his resolution not to *make* a promise, knowing he would understand the distinction between giving him the money, and loaning it. Because if you borrowed something, you had to give it back.
With steady fingers, Heero gathered up the keepsakes. Duo had left them here. He didn't want them anymore. His decision was clear.
He nodded once, then slung his pack over his shoulders.
There was only one thing to do.
Pulse fluttering, she fitted fingertips to the partly-gilded surface of the mirror. In the light of the morning it was hard to believe that he had stood before her, his faery beauty backlit by the lights of the celebration, and asked her what she wanted him to do. *He* had asked *her!*
Relena picked up the ivory-handled brush and began to run it through her hair, humming softly. It was a promising development. She felt a prick of conscience for the deception -- for making him believe that Duo had been unfaithful -- but it faded quickly. Who was to say that it might not be true? Duo from what she had seen wasn't the most solidly-grounded of personalities. His infatuation might be a fleeting teenage experimentation, and he would stray sooner or later if that were the case. And she simply couldn't believe that a relationship between two boys could be more than a short-lived sexual curiosity, an aberration when all was said and done.
Hopefully now, all *was* said and done between them.
Heero was masculine. He was all sensual male grace, and she had seen his strength in action. Such a beautiful force. He was very definitely *male.*
With a sharp tug she jerked the brush through a tangle and made a face. Then she set it down and began plaiting her long wheat-blonde hair.
Today she departed for the Sank kingdom, and Heero had said he would show up. If she was lucky, she could convince him to go with her. Or at the very least, convey a piece of her feelings. Show him that, now that they had made peace together, there was a life after the war, a shining future of upholding the ideals he had helped to realize.
"Heero, I love you so much," she whispered, tying off the braids and gathering them up to the back of her head. "I only want to be with you."
She loved him so much it ached. Since the moment she had first seen him, startled but still calculating Prussian eyes in a face of Michelangelo-chiseled beauty and his lithe body had launched into action, making a hasty exit... she had been dreaming of him. Even his cruel, quietly-uttered words later, 'omae o korosu,' had only served to deepen the fascination. What was he hiding with those harsh words? He had never been able to bring himself to do it, to actually hurt her. For all his killer's training he could not kill *her.*
Relena felt like she could see a place inside of him that no one else could. Even Duo had misjudged him on their first meeting -- her pretty mouth twisted. His beloved Duo had tried to kill him then, and what of that? *She* had stopped Duo. *She* had bandaged Heero's bloodied arm and thigh from strips of her own birthday dress. What of that? She had felt from the moment she looked into his steel-cool eyes that he had buried feeling and emotion deep inside himself, un-learned how to be human in the pursuit of perfection. Dr. J had said as much.
"I saw him first," Relena told the mirror. Her reflection gave her a firm nod. "I'm the one who flew to Antarctica to give him Mistress Noventa's letter of absolution, to ease his heart... " Yet he had refused even that much comfort from her. She had crossed the ends of the earth, and it meant nothing. She would give up her life in an instant for one kiss, one soft word from his sensuous mouth.
Yet his kisses were reserved for Duo. A laughing, violet-eyed, psychotic Gundam pilot who thought he was the God of Death. Duo couldn't possibly realize the depths of Heero's hidden heart.
She stood from the vanity and flushed.
He was most certainly a fling. An experiment. Boys were like that, she had read -- they constantly had sex on their minds. Duo had been convenient. Or their relationship was the result of camaraderie and the tension of war -- she had done some reading, after her discovery -- but she did feel ashamed for what she had done, not so long ago.
It still brought a thrum of heated angry blood to her cheeks in remembrance. She had been furious and hurt. But the whole incident was clearly, sickeningly imprinted on her mind, as badly as she wanted to forget. She'd wanted to *hurt* Duo, and before she'd even realized it those hysterical words had come pouring out of her mouth, and she had struck at him with all her force. Not really expecting to inflict any damage -- he was a Gundam pilot, after all -- but after the third kick to his ribs the anger had abruptly bled away, replaced with a horrified realization.
She was no better than any of the men who started their wars.
Iie, Wufei had been right.
"Demo... but... " Relena whispered, her mouth contracting. She smoothed her skirt down with two hands. She had hurt him, but Duo had been okay in the end. And she had apologized later. But she simply couldn't -- she wouldn't! -- accept the promise that Heero had forced on her in the heat of the moment.
Deep in her marrow, she felt it. Duo was completely wrong for Heero. First off, he was the wrong gender. Two boys, together? Pretending to be married? The thought was absurd. They could never have a *real* relationship of two complementing, loving people.
That was why she had to show Heero. No, she had done one better -- she had gotten him away from that boy, who would sooner or later make Heero realize what a terrible mistake he had made.
She cast a last glance around the room. Her maid would take care of the belongings, and pack everything for the trip. She had two hours yet. By now, Haruka would have seen to her breakfast.
By the time she lifted off, she hoped to finally convince Heero of the truth.
Duo woke up curled and stiff around his knapsack, lying on the open hatch of Wing Zero. He blinked bleary eyes and surveyed the tarmac. Empty. Just the way things had been last night. He pushed himself upright, stretched, and winced. He was sore, hungry, and most notably tired. The night had been overcome with light dozes punctuated by wakeful fits, before his eyes had drifted shut once more over the uncompromising sight of Heero's eyes, his taut mouth.
Sayonara, Duo.
Shit! How many times would the scene replay itself in his head? Enough for him to become quietly bitter?
He turned and peered into the cockpit of the Gundam. Empty, spotless, untouched. Even if Heero *had* been able to get past his fitful sleeping body, which he wouldn't. A hair drifting to his nose would have woken him, he was that tensely alert.
Duo stretched again and scratched himself, eyeing the empty tarmac with a sour expression. He was starving, and the only thing his knapsack boasted was the black oval case and his mini disc-player. A change of clothes, a small first-aid kit (when one was Heero's lover, one had need of it) and at best, a container of *really* old OZ rations. No way was he going to crack that open.
He cast another dull-eyed glance around.
Heero hadn't shown up. Heero wasn't likely to show up, anytime soon. And by the time he did, poor Duo would be a pitiful little heap of bones and one big growling stomach.
He stood up abruptly, yanking the knapsack with him. "I am NOT going to do this," he announced to the landing pad at large, glaring up at Wing Zero's impassive craggy face for emphasis.
Why the hell was he here!?
Everything had been just perfect yesterday. Heero had come home, Duo had forced him to eat a decent meal and get some sleep, they had screwed each other silly and taken a shower, then they had gone out for an evening of partying before the big decision of where to live. What to do next.
Apparently, 'what to do next' was desertion, while Duo waited like a pathetic lovesick puppy dog for Heero to show up.
It was hard to pinpoint exactly when things had gone so wrong. He remembered Heero accusing him of giving their wedding band to Hilde. And when he had responded, shocked, Heero had said as much that Relena had deceived him into thinking that -- which Hilde had later confirmed, when she gave it back.
"Yet somehow, again I become the bad guy," Duo said with a wry twist of his lips.
Heero knew that Relena must have seized upon the lost ring. That she had used it against them to make Heero think that Duo had been unfaithful. And that, more than anything, pissed him off -- that Heero could be so easily taken in, and had taken it at face value. As if he'd throw away everything they had been, and were to each other, and had gone through to reach this moment.
"Hell with this." Duo jumped off the hatch and winced again as his stiff muscles tried to support him, and he nearly collapsed.
His face grew sober as his thoughts continued on their inevitable train. And then *he* had questioned Heero's love for him.
"Shit," Duo sighed, scrubbing at his face with both hands. "No wonder he left."
Heero had the most amazing propensity for self-flagellation that he'd ever seen in a person. He was even worse than Wufei in that regard. Once he had failed, he didn't just face up to his own mistakes or loss. He was unworthy to live. He had tried to self-destruct more than once. Duo was occasionally amazed that Heero had lived through the war, as many times as they'd come close to absolute disaster.
In leaving now, he wasn't trying to punish Duo. Not deliberately. He was punishing *himself,* for doubting their love. At least he hadn't come to Wing Zero with the intent to self-destruct. Stopping a suicidal Heero when he'd made his mind up was awfully damned hard.
Well, if Heero wasn't going to come to him, he was just going to have to go to Heero.
Duo nodded to himself, satisfied, and started out over the tarmac. Once he'd made the resolution, again, it was that much easier. As Hilde said, he couldn't let his lover go. They'd paid such a price over and over again, he was damn well going to enjoy what they had for as long as possible. Now, all he had to do was *find* his beloved, literal bastard.
"After breakfast," Duo added to himself with a cheery grin, good humor restored. He set out with a lilting, upbeat whistle lingering in the air.
With the rumble of an engine turning over loud in his ears, Heero started awake at the wheel of the car. He spent a fraction of an instant wondering why the hell he wasn't still asleep in bed with Duo's wiry body nestled against him, and that thought triggered an inevitable split second of recall. He'd pushed Duo away. He had *left* him, just standing there in the middle of their post-war celebration with a whole city rioting joyously around them in the streets and everything had been shuttered out of his sight but the broken hopes standing large in Duo's eyes. *He* had done that, not Relena, not Hilde or Duo. And then Duo had gone back to the hotel and cleared his stuff out.
The Japanese pilot set his mouth in a grim line. With the war over and no Duo to look forward to spending the rest of his days with, perhaps he really *did* deserve Relena. She certainly had placed a bold enough claim on him.
He shook his head and reached down, turning the ignition to start the car up. While the engine warmed he tipped his head back and closed his eyes.
"Promise me you won't drop me again."
"I... " Anguish had never been sharper than in that instant.
A feeble smile. "I understand."
But he had sworn to himself that he would return, that he wouldn't let hurt dull the beautiful violet-blue eyes again. Heero's eyes popped open and he glanced over at the passenger seat, at the little mementos that he had gathered up. The keepsakes Duo had left behind. Plucking up the lucky yen piece, he rubbed it between thumb and forefinger.
"I'm loaning it to you, ya hear?" Intense indigo eyes fixed on him. "You have to give it back. Got it?"
"Aa."
Heero fisted the coin suddenly. He had tracked Duo down and given this back once before, ostensibly discharging himself of his debts. In reality, giving himself up to an unspoken agreement even more compelling. This time, he would track Duo down and never let go. *He* was the one at fault here, Heero realized with an internal recoil of surprise. He had walked away. Told him as much that it was over. After everything he had done to prove to Duo that his doubts and insecurity were unfounded, he was the one who had said goodbye.
Duo had every right to refuse him another chance.
Heero shoved the money into his pocket and shifted the car into gear. He had an errand to run, before he found Miss Relena. The girl obviously expected him to sit down for a heart-to-heart chat -- perhaps even to go to the Sank kingdom with her. Heero had something different in mind. She wanted to see inside of him. Well, he would show her what she least expected to see. She wanted him to be truthful, to himself and to her. And Heero would give her the brutal, honest truth.
He navigated the mostly-empty streets like an afterthought, focusing more on deep blue-violet eyes unfolding like bruises. Duo had never given him an accusing, hurt glare before, but Heero was perfectly capable of imagining one. This was all his fault.
After making a few stops on the way to the airbase, Heero parked the car outside the facility and spent a good long while chewing at the end of an ink pen. Duo had-- K'so. Duo had always teased him that if he chewed long enough, he'd get a faceful of ink. He furrowed his brow and concentrated on the words he had to pry out of himself. They came from deep within, a place inside where even Duo hadn't been allowed. Not yet.
But if Relena knew...
Heero removed the pen from his mouth and began to write.
Duo was halfway through the terminal, searching for some kind of breakfast bar when he forced a pause at the sound of a familiar voice, one that made him immediately whirl and duck for cover. A gut reflex.
He peered over the rim of the trash can. Sadly, it was the only cover he could manage with such short notice. He nearly snorted and clapped a hand to his mouth. *So* unlike the potted palms at Relena-san's resort.
There she was!
The Peacecraft was walking sedately up the terminal. She had almost reached the corner, a small entourage trailing behind her complete with bodyguards. Duo's eyes narrowed. He wasn't *precisely* sure how Relena had been involved last night, but he knew for a fact that Hilde wasn't vengeful enough to dangle his wedding ring on her own finger, in plain sight and Heero's too. Hilde didn't have any motive, unless she were madly in love with him. Duo chuckled.
This one, though...
Duo sprinted from behind the trashcan then began to prowl up the corridor, big eyes and skulking braid and quiet footsteps trailing after Relena. He followed them silently, then reached the hangar where the Peacecraft plane was. The engine had already been started up and it was in the first stages of warm-up. The crew, from the looks of it, was doing a flight check. And Relena-san was nowhere in sight.
"Where the hell could she have gone... ?" he grumbled half-heartedly, giving the hangar a quick once-over.
Aha. Thataway. Discussing what looked to be flight plans with the tall thin rat-faced man -- Haruka, that was his name. Duo eyed the plane speculatively. No... no, he didn't have any high-grade explosive. Too bad. But considering what a number they had invariably done on the Gundams, that might not be enough oomph.
Duo scrunched his mouth up in a considering, contracted point and gave the plane another once-over.
Chi--CHIKUSHO!!
He blinked a few more times.
The apparition was still there.
Heero was boarding Relena Peacecraft's plane.
Duo's head snapped back to Relena. The girl was gesturing emphatically to the plans, and then the plane, and then saying something with force. Duo narrowed his eyes. Is Heero here yet? she mouthed.
He slumped to the pavement, completely numb. His system had taken all the two days' worth shocks it could withstand. HOW could he... *why* would he... Duo bit off the annoying, weak-sounding little keen that was forcing its way up his throat. He banged his head a few times against the wall he was plastered up against. This was impossible. This wasn't happening. He peered out from behind the bin again. Through one of the oval windows, he could just barely make out Heero's thick dark head of hair.
Duo closed his eyes and slouched down further.
Then he remembered.
"He owes me." That bland voice had carried a hint of smugness to it, overriding any of her earlier attempts to apologize. They shouldn't have taken her promise at face value. Relena hadn't intended to keep it. What a consummate politician she was.
Whatever Heero owed her, what was so important that it could compel his lover to travel out of the country with Relena? He could barely tolerate the girl's presence and that was on a *good* day with Duo nearby to squelch him if he started getting that chilling glint to his eye. There had to be some other reason.
Duo wrapped his arms around his knees. He stared miserably at the dirty bins he was hidden behind. She had won. There was no way he would be able to get to Heero now short of a major confrontation. And he was all out of ammo, and the will to use it.
The thrum of the engine filled his ears as he got up and threaded his way back to the exit, as inconspicuously as he had come.
With a short bark of laughter he shrugged his knapsack half-off, and pulled out the compact black oval case. He hefted it in his hand. K'so, he truly wouldn't be needing this anymore.
"You win, Heero. Sayonara."
The metal stairs were flimsy underfoot as she boarded the plane. Relena combed the hangar over frantically one last time, a desperate visual circuit. They had already held back their intended departure by nearly a half hour. Haruka was beginning to get edgy. The pilot was *more* than a little irritated with "the high-strung miss." She was turning into a joke amidst her own staff.
"You're *sure* nobody saw him?" Relena persisted, and the valet visibly contained a sigh.
"Hai, Relena-sama."
Relena bowed her head, cornsilk hair showering around her shoulders. "So be it. Let's go, then. Tell the pilot he can take off when he's ready."
"Hai, Relena-sama." The valet made his way up the private jet to the cockpit.
She turned to take her seat and her pale blue eyes rounded. Almost automatically, her hands reached out to grasp the plush figurine that had been propped up in her chair. "Nan desu... " Relena's eyes snapped up, searching the hangar through the thick plastic of the doubled windows and she spotted a lithe figure, garbed in nondescript crew gear. She gathered the teddy bear into her arms, peering more closely out the window.
The crewman lifted his face briefly, enough for her to spot gleaming cobalt eyes under a thatch of dark, tousled chestnut hair.
"Heero!" Relena's fist thumped against the heavy plastic. She swung to face her valet.
The plane was already moving.
She cast one last, desperate glance out the window. Heero had already disappeared.
A frustrated sob heaved up into her throat. Then she looked down again. A crisp, folded sheet of white paper still lay in the seat, from where it had slid from the teddy bear's plush protective embrace. A note from Heero.
The blonde girl took up the note in both hands, shifting the teddy bear into a crook of her arm. With one swift, decisive motion she tore the paper in half. Then in fourths. Then in eighths and kept shredding the bits until nothing was left but barely-puzzled bits of torn black ink.
"If you want to give me a message, Heero -- give it to me yourself."
Heero watched the plane ascend until it was nothing more than a glittering silver speck in the sky. Hopefully, she had read, and understood. What she wanted most in the world was to know how he felt about her. Why he hadn't killed her. Without Relena ever fully articulating the question, he understood what she needed to know.
This was their closure.
He turned, satisfied, burying his hands deep in his pockets. He hadn't repaid his debt yet, but at least *that* much was off his mind. Now he could turn his mind to finding Duo -- a far more satisfying task.
First, he would have to do something about Wing Zero. It was still here at the airbase, somewhere. And while the war was over, not all of the hotshots had cooled down, especially after some of the frenzied partying he had seen last night. His Gundam was a seriously dangerous weapon. So, the faster he stowed it away somewhere, the better.
Halfway through the base he paused to strip out of the stolen mechanic's gear and pulled on his normal clothes, tanktop and jeans. Much better.
Wing Zero was still standing where he'd landed it, a gleaming quiescent metal statue awaiting his return. He tilted his head and stared into its impassive eyes. He and the machine had both seen death. Now it was time for Wing to sleep, and he... .he had no place, in this world that was no longer rocked with the crossfire of war. When you learn to dodge bullets for a living, how can you bring that impetus to a halt?
Heero had been in motion for a long time.
He closed his eyes briefly then climbed up to the hatch. For a moment his brow wrinkled, startled to find something so strangely out of context. Then, one hand moving with a steadiness that belied the uneasy twists of his stomach, he reached to pick it up off the pilot seat.
The last memento. His stomach lurched. "Merry Christmas." Teasing, languid amaryllis eyes fixed on him. The heart-shaped face tipped up to meet him, eager.
It was a small, black oval-shaped case.
Duo was saying goodbye.
[A.C. 196]
The great cavernous cargo hold resounded with the thrum of warming thrusters. Even with that constant hum shivering across his skin, the place was like a tomb. Part of that superstitious feeling stemmed from the utter silence, broken up by the occasional clink or thump as Duo moved around the giant hold, securing ties and gradually moving down the checklist. The larger part of it came from the four giant Titans lying prone in their metal cradles. Soon to be plunged into the heart of the sun.
A lump thickened Quatre's throat. They had fought their battles and now it was time to say farewell.
"My Sandrock -- sleep peacefully." Quatre's dry whisper barely reached his own ears.
"Eh?"
He looked across the recumbent bulk of his Gundam into Duo's curious, bright violet-eyed gaze. Quatre dredged up a wistful smile and shook his head.
Duo jerked his thumb at the giants encased in steel and glass, readied now for their final flight. "Now that we have peace, we don't need Gundam."
"It's sad to see them go," Quatre replied, steady in the air as he continued to look down at his Gundam.
"Nah, it's okay. Let's get it over with and send them and the hangar block into the sun." Duo turned to face him, his face and the line of his body expressive and open.
"Hai," Quatre replied, pushing himself up to follow Duo as they traveled up and out of the giant hangar block, and back to the control console in the station the hangar block was moored to.
Once they reached the pressurized atmosphere of the station, both young men took their helmets off and tucked them under their arms. They exchanged rueful smiles. Quatre couldn't help but think they were too young to be nostalgic.
"Sayonara, boku no Sandrock," Quatre smiled through glinting eyes, cradling the suit's helmet between arm and hip. Duo pressed the button that would start the artificially manufactured meteor on its inevitable course.
"See ya!" Duo tossed the words at the hangar block as it began to move away from the station, an enormous mechanized meteor.
"Wufei never brought his," the American pilot observed casually, after a long moment of silence.
"No," Quatre agreed. "And Heero and Trowa just sent theirs over." Quatre's features grew pensive, troubled. It hadn't been long since he'd seen Trowa -- less than a month, and Trowa had been about to make a tour with the circus, so he'd expressed complete confidence in Quatre to ensure that Heavyarms went into the sun with the other Gundams. But something in Duo's face, his abruptly tense posture, and a lingering sort of sadness in his eyes put Quatre on alert.
"I wonder how everyone is," Duo mused, violet eyes far away.
"You haven't been with Heero?" Quatre asked softly, curiosity overcoming him as he gathered up Duo's expression with his eyes.
The American pilot's fingers gripped at the long braid of hair coiling past his waist. He examined each twist with minute perusal, avoiding Quatre's eyes. "Iya! I haven't seen Heero since last year," he replied, his voice parodying cheer.
Quatre wasn't fooled.
"Duo, I thought you two got married," he probed, hoping that he wasn't putting his feet in it by forcing the issue. But something about Duo was silently pleading for an excuse to talk about it -- release, or relief. And he had provided a shoulder to cry on before, when Duo had been hurting and in need. "I thought--"
"Yeah, well, I thought so too." Duo's eyes snapped up and they were open violet wounds. "We had a... a misunderstanding. A big one. Bygones." Duo forced another grin, a rictus version of good- naturedness.
Quatre bowed his head. "Gomen ne, Duo."
Duo produced a raspy chuckle. "Why should you be, Quatre? It's half my own stupid fault. Heero and I... maybe we're not right for each other. We have problems, ultimately, every time we get together. But we seem to have no problem at all when it comes to hurting each other."
"Did he leave you?"
Duo turned away, back to the navigation console. He began to check over the data for the course that would send the Gundams into the sun. "You could say that." His tone was flat, giving up all pretenses of cheer, and tacitly discouraged pursuing the matter.
The blond Arabian took the hint and moved alongside him. They worked together in silence, going down the checklist for the post- launch and putting everything in order to ensure that the gigantic steel bunker would go smoothly into the sun, undisturbed. The last remnants of a war-torn era were being sent to a silent, fiery death.
Finally, everything was done and Duo sighed, pushing away from the console. He put his hands behind his head and stared out at the receding meteor-hangar.
"So what've you been up to for a year, Quatre?"
Quatre pushed away from the console, too, and let his eyes drift among the field of stars. "Me? Oh... well, I've been getting a feel for the Winner holdings. Rasid's been helping me. And some of father's loyal employees. It's a lot to manage all my myself." He smiled. "So I don't."
"And you visit the circus a lot? Ne? Neee~e?" Duo teased him, impish expression reasserting itself.
Quatre tried his best not to flush. Every so often he cursed the betrayal of his fair complexion. "Well, sometimes Trowa comes to visit me," he managed to return with a perfectly straight face.
Duo gawked. Then he grinned, took a step over, and pounded Quatre on the back. "You sly dog, you! Good for you. I'm glad you two are doing well." The depth of his violet eyes churned for a moment before he looked away.
"What have you been doing, for a year?" Quatre asked quietly. It was hard to gauge Duo's mood, and what he needed most -- to tread soft, or to jolly him out of his quicksilver sobriety.
"Oh, you know," Duo replied vaguely after a moment. "Skipping from this colony to that one. Never really staying long in one place. Doing the odd job here and there, and moving on." He gave Quatre a wide smile.
"Sou ka," Quatre replied, gazing at them steadily. What he didn't say stood out larger in the air between them -- never staying long enough to form attachments. Never getting settled. Running... from what? "And what will you do now?"
Duo shrugged, eyes flicking to the viewscreen and their projection of the interior of the hangar block. They lingered over the solid, silent gleaming bulk of the Gundams. "Probably more of the same."
They stood by the console, silence stretching between them for the space of long minutes. Duo's face was turned towards Wing Zero, a tiny image on the upper corner of the screen.
"You know, I really thought he'd show up here!" Duo burst out at last, his voice choked with frustration and disappointment. "I... I really miss him, Quatre. I guess I didn't realize how much I wanted him to show until he didn't." Duo turned and his face crumpled between a mask of cheer, and the misery glimpsed in its cracks.
Quatre took a step and put a hand to his friend's shoulder, uncertain. Duo turned into him, gravitating to the hesitant comfort of his touch, and buried his face in the shoulder of the suit. Both arms closed around the slender space-suited American. Duo was rigid against him, a body that had been in motion for so long that every part of him was stiff, and confused by the comfort.
"It's been almost a year," Duo repeated, voice raw. "I miss him. I don't even know where he is."
"I'm sorry," Quatre said helplessly. He patted Duo's back. "Duo, I am sorry."
"I know," Duo replied, voice thick. "Me, too."
Noin pushed aside long sweeping bangs and tried to wipe the harried expression from her face. She was, like Une, grateful that the president of the Earth Federation was funding their organization, the Preventers, to keep any situation from becoming critical to the point of war. But the bare fact of the matter was that they were a young organization yet, and had a distinct shortage of personnel.
She was afraid that this latest message from Sally Po -- Operative Water -- would be another piece of the slowly-forming picture that was becoming ever more bleak.
Noin pushed the button to open the comm channel. "You can speak freely," she informed Water. "This is the Preventer's frequency. No one can trace it."
Sally's face popped up onto the screen. Her face was composed, but her voice carried an underlying trace of anxiety that Noin could detect. "It's possible someone is manufacturing Neo-Titanium."
Noin sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "A new Mobile Suit?"
"My information is slow in coming," Water replied cautiously, "but if that's the case, we have to stop it."
Noin hesitated. If they followed up on this information immediately, they could flush out possible troublemakers before they had an opportunity to strike. On the other hand... "But they could be the key to it all."
"Maybe," Water answered, face reflective.
They stared at each other in silence for a moment, then Noin nodded decisively. "I'll rendezvous with you at the usual point. We need to do something."
"Eh," Water agreed, inclining her head. "Water, closing communication."
Noin thumbed off the channel. She was silent for a moment. Even after all they had been through, people had an amazing ability to undervalue the peace that had been so hard-bought. Then she turned from the console. It was nearing Christmas, but she had things to gather up, and Une had to be notified.
She'd be spending Christmas with Sally.
He palmed open the door and inserted himself into the room, a shadow at odds with the light seeping in from the corridor. An involuntary smile twitched the edge of his engraved scowl, an expression that had been seated on his face unchallenged for nearly a year now. The room was a mess, typical Duo, with clothes strewn everywhere -- a bigger collection of clothing, probably expanded now that the war was over. Junk obscured the floor and what might have been a desk.
He stopped dead.
There was a framed picture -- he looked closer, stepping over a tangle of pants and miscellaneous machine parts. Duo and... . He extracted the frame from screening papers and overturned books. It was Duo's face smirking back at him, and himself -- glowering possessively with an arm wrapped around Duo. It was from their honeymoon. Heero closed his eyes and put the picture back on the desk before he could drop it.
He never should have let go.
Heero did a quick once-over of the room, lips compressed, then finally settled on the edge of Duo's desk and folded his arms, preparing to wait. The noon shift would be ending soon. After casing the colonies – even Earth -- for nearly a year, this time Duo wouldn't be able to avoid him.
Duo had hopped from colony to colony, changing names and jobs with such facility that even *he* had been hard-pressed to keep up with him. And he had always been gone as or before Heero had gotten there. Though sometimes, he admitted to himself, he hadn't tried very hard.
He loved Duo. He could admit it now, to himself and to Duo. He *had* admitted it. Living this past year in the shadow of his footsteps, without the unfailing bright presence of his smile, and the promise of the deep amaryllis eyes had been all kinds of hell. Countless times his search had flagged because he crushed himself under the weight of self-doubt.
He loved Duo, but he had pushed him away. Himself, with his own two hands – Relena had nothing to do with *that.* He had hurt the one thing he loved most. So there were no guarantees Duo would take him back, when he did manage to catch up with him at last.
That more than anything had given him pause a dozen times.
The door cracked open after about fifteen minutes of waiting and a slice of light fell over the rumpled sheets of the unmade bed. He could hear Duo's voice speaking to someone, his cheerful 'ja ne!' and a strange expectation lit up his spine. He could only react; he couldn't force himself to move now that he'd finally gotten this far.
Then the door was shutting and Duo was flicking on the lights and shrugging out of his jacket and his heart-shaped face turned up. Heero's breath sped up a notch.
They both froze.
Duo's face drained of blood and emotion until he was expressionless as Heero himself. He moved a few paces into the room and dropped his jacket onto a bedpost. His face tipped and he looked at him through the wet gleam of eyes that struggled to be impersonal.
"Why are you here?" His voice was hoarse.
Heero rocked away from the hard edge of the desk. "It's been a long time, Duo." He was stricken with the urge to close the space between them and gather the beautiful trembling-eyed boy into his arms. It *had* been a long time. But he knew he couldn't breach that space until he had bridged the gap between them. Maybe it had been *too* long.
"Yeah." Duo turned away, fingers forming fists. "It has."
He took a step towards him, nearly tripping over entangling junk. "Duo, I—"
The other boy whirled on him, eyes explosive and spitting violet sparks. "Where the hell have you been!? Why now, Heero? Do you want something? Did Relena send you away?"
"Relena... ?" Heero echoed, confused. "I haven't been with her, Duo."
Duo's mouth twitched and he shrugged. "I... I know. I kept up with the newscasts. I... " He fixed a crooked smile on his face. It fell almost instantly. "Why are you here now, Heero? What do you want?" His expression was reproachful and guarded.
"You." The word fell like a land mine into the space between them.
Duo quivered. He tried to speak, and stopped. A spasm of anger rippled over his face. It was followed in swift succession by raw yearning, and utter confusion. His expression finally settled on something indecipherable, and he dropped onto the bed.
"What took you so damned long to decide that?" he finally asked, voice dull. His face was tipped down to let the bangs overtake his countenance with shadow.
Heero shifted uncomfortably. He wasn't good with emotion. He knew what he wanted. He just couldn't put it to words, or manage to voice them, which was one of the only things Duo would take right now.
"I've been looking for you for a year, Duo," he replied at last, unsure of the impact of anything else.
The American pilot was perched on the end of the bed, gripping the edge in his hands. One indigo eye peeked up at him under the fringe of bangs that had grown even longer.
"Honto?" The word was loaded.
"Yes."
Duo looked away. "Well, maybe you weren't looking very hard."
"No, I—" Heero stopped, frustrated.
Duo chuckled softly. It was a mostly bitter sound but still held weary traces of his good humor. "So, it's been a year and you still want me, after all."
He took a step forward, placing his feet cautiously. "Aa." The words were hard, cynical, but he could sense underneath that Duo was caving in. He stepped over a pair of discarded pants and a toolbox then tripped on a loop of jacket and ended up flat on his face. His eyebrow twitched as he levered himself up on his elbows and sought Duo's face out.
The American's mouth was quivering suspiciously.
Heero blew out a tiny, exasperated puff.
Duo burst out laughing. "Bwahahaha! Heero, you look like an idiot! A kawaii idiot, but still an idiot!" He collapsed onto the bed, deep chuckles reverberating through the tiny room. Heero gritted his teeth and let Duo laugh at him. From the nearly hysterical edge to it, Duo sounded like he needed the release.
By the time Heero had climbed slowly to his feet, gathering the shreds of dignity around him, Duo had subsided. He looked up at Heero, bright-eyed.
"We made a mess of things, didn't we, lover?" Duo gave him a pained smile.
He reached out to touch one cheek, not as round as it had been a year ago -- how much weight *had* Duo lost!? -- and stopped himself. "Yes, we did," he agreed evenly. He lowered his head and frowned. The words emerged at last, a thread of sound. "I need you, Duo."
Duo's violet-indigo eyes were deep and hauntingly exposed. "Do you really?"
Heero looked away, stung by the mute accusation, the year-long sum of pain and loneliness in the wide expressive eyes. It was the look he'd imagined Duo would give him, drilling into the spaces where only Duo's glance could reach, and it burned.
"Why are you here?" Duo repeated the question, his husky voice low. He shifted on the bed, glancing away. "I mean, why are you *really* here?"
Heero started. Could Duo possibly know... ? The driving impetus for finally being able to find him were the recent activities that he'd uncovered, the hints of the Barton Group making a move at last. He needed Duo's help.
But he was selfish. He wanted Duo to himself, first.
"You're my husband," Heero said instead, thinking to himself that *this* was the easiest way to lie, to tell Duo part of the truth, yet leave out the rest. "It's my fault that we were separated. I... I... " His mouth worked. It wasn't that he didn't want to say it. It was just hard. "I was wrong. I need you, Duo."
His hand twitched out again to touch Duo's cheek with roughened fingers but he drew back. Duo hadn't...
Duo was watching him through narrowed, assessing eyes. Then a wide smile broke out over his face. "If you're not telling the truth, that's exactly what I wanted to hear, anyway."
He grabbed out with callused fingers for Heero's hand, snatching it and pressing it to the curved cheek. The skin was as velvety as he remembered, but the flesh had lost much of its roundness, the lingering vestiges of a childhood that had been denied.
"Yes... I... " He knelt beside the bed and closed his eyes, brows contracting into a puckered frown. "I was... The past year, I spent it looking for you. But you didn't seem to want to be found. I only wanted... something I don't deserve."
Something pressed against his forehead and he opened his eyes, startled.
Duo's violet-blue eyes winked at him from bare inches away, his mouth softening. "Heero... I missed you, too. I missed you so much. I don't care about the year. It's gone. You're here." Duo's face was solemn but smiling all at once, happiness and sobriety juxtaposed. "At first I thought I'd send you away if you came back. Try to hurt you, the way I felt hurt. But oh, God, Heero, we were both so stupid. And I knew I'd take you back any way I could have you." He gave Heero a tiny, rueful smile. "Is that weak?"
Heero regarded him solemnly in return. "I don't care. I—then I'm weak, too." Duo smiled and nudged his nose. "I missed you."
Duo just regarded him silently, his emotions plain and scrawled wide in his eyes. Those eyes had known loneliness and pain, and a great deal of it was his fault. Heero wrapped his arms around Duo's waist and pulled him closer, ashamed, wanting to bury his face where Duo couldn't see it and read his guilt and see his faults and remember his rejection and somehow, love him and forgive him for it anyhow. "I missed you, too, koibito."
It was on the tip of his tongue to growl not to call him that, but instead he laid his palms against Duo's outer thighs and tilted his head ever so slightly, hoping that the words meant what he thought they did. The forgiveness he didn't deserve.
"Hm." Duo gave him that oh-so-familiar smirk and leaned into him, his lips closing firm over the gap and dissolving the distance with that touch. Fingers curled over the nape of his neck and Heero surged up on his knees, desperately eager to make sure it really was Duo under his mouth and hands, that he really was here and doing this and it wasn't just another cruel dream.
Duo bit his lip lightly and he felt the tip of a tongue running hesitant along his upper lip. Heero opened his mouth and let the sensations flow just under his skin, stirring up a heavy desire that had been thwarted for so long. He growled and nipped at the invading tongue, hands sliding up to clasp Duo's bottom and Duo slid off the bed with a half-laughing, half-surprised cry into his lap.
He pressed a kiss to the moist mouth beneath him, wanting nothing more than just to eat him alive, gods it had been so long and now he couldn't get enough. And Duo was in his arms and his lean body was pressing up against him and the mouth was wandering over his throat, a slick tongue making circles of fire.
"Duo--" He took his lips again, plunging his tongue into the eagerly-parted mouth. Duo's hands had slipped under his tank top. "Duo... shouldn't we... the bed... "
"Shut up, Heero," Duo grinned at him, grabbing a fistful of the tank top and pulling him down on top of him, to the floor.
Relena sighed and fingered the rim of her teacup. She had arrived on L3-X18999 only today, and she was suffering from jet lag and had an awful headache to boot. Mostly it stemmed from the fact that since her arrival, the ministers that she had been greeted with seemed to be very eager and willing to shove all of the colony's problems off on her.
The rest of her headache had a name, and she could still see the cobalt-blue eyes. Since that instant he had turned from the plane, head bent and the line of his back set, Relena had not seen Heero. It had been nearly a year.
Why couldn't he just put the past behind? Why couldn't he let Duo go?
Not for the first time, Relena wondered what he had written in that letter. But after seeing the blocky decisive katakana, she had made her decision in a split second. Part of her had known deeply she didn't *want* to read the letter and know for sure, one way or another. Uncertainty where she could still hold onto her dream of Heero was better than...
Irritably Relena brushed that thought aside. Heero hadn't been seen with any braided violet-eyed boys since that night, from what her intelligence could divine.
Yet, if he wasn't with Duo, then why hadn't he come to her?
A tiny smile curved the blonde girl's lips. Always before, she had come to him. It looked as if she would have to do so, again. And *this* time, there was nothing standing between them.
Relena turned her attention back to what the ministers were saying.
"As you know, it hasn't been seven years since our L3-X18999 colony was completed."
Relena carefully contained the smile. The name gave her the unwholesome urge to snicker. And the last thing she wanted to do was give these dignitaries the impression of youth and inexperience.
"People have immigrated from Earth but the unstable economy is preventing the population from growing."
"I think the problem is the Earth Federation," Relena replied candidly, running a finger along the saucer. "They're avoiding this colony so the economy can't stabilize." She could bring the problem to the attention of the Earth Federation, of course, but that wouldn't ensure it would be so easily solved. It was one of her greatest burdens as Foreign Minister.
"But what the people want is a leader who can guide them to that level of prosperity," another earnest face inserted. "Someone from the outside, like you."
Relena frowned. They had been hinting at offering her leadership of the colony since she had set foot off the shuttle. Didn't they understand, she couldn't? Instead of replying at once, she picked up the teacup and took a good sip. It was still warm, but it tasted strangely bitter, as if they hadn't put any sugar in at all - but she had put two cubes in herself. "It's too bad. They'd only just found peace and freedom... "
The blonde girl wavered, blinking hard. The ring of ministers swam in and out of focus. They looked... expectant. They were waiting for something, avarice scrawled all over their features.
The teacup clattered to the floor, brown liquid pooling over the smooth surface.
Relena's head lolled.
One of the gray-haired ministers smiled maliciously and held his finger down on the call button. A troop of soldiers burst into the boardroom at once. "Take her to the bedroom."
"Understood," the squadron leader said crisply. They gathered up the unconscious Peacecraft.
"It's time to play our trump card," the presence projected onto the viewscreen observed.
The gray-haired man adjusted his glasses. "Sou desu."
"It's time for her to make her appearance and show the powerless who their leader is."
A laugh crackled across the open line.
In a darkened, quiet room, two figures watched the broadcast of the President of the Earth Federation. A little girl with reddish hair watched quietly, her eyes bright and precocious. "It's time to give everyone Father's Christmas Present."
"Hai, Marimeia," the man known as Dekim Barton replied.
Marimeia watched and smiled.
Duo was lost.
Iie, that was wrong -- he had just been found again. He clasped Heero closer and the Japanese boy bit his jugular softly, mouthing it more than a real bite, then collapsed on top of him, still panting. "I love you," he breathed. "Ai shiteiru." Then he burrowed his face into Duo's sweaty skin and Duo took the weight gladly. He didn't want Heero to move. He wished neither of them had to move ever again.
"I love you, too," he replied, his hands playing up the spine slowly. Damn, he could feel Heero's ribs pressing against the skin. How much weight had he lost, over the past year? Heero never had been much good at taking care of himself.
He planted kisses on the parts of Heero that he could reach; mostly cheekbone. Heero moved a bit, turning his face into the kiss and Duo sighed as the movement shifted that part still buried deep. They traded kisses for a long time, both too exhausted for too much more, yet.
"What now?" Duo finally asked, at loathe to break the post-coital bliss but knowing the question had to be asked, sooner or later.
"What now?" Heero repeated. He lifted his head to scowl darkly at Duo. "What are you implying?"
Duo gave him a sheepish grin and a disarming, quick kiss to the lips. After a brief second of consideration he sucked on Heero's lip for a moment more. "Tasty."
"Baka," Heero muttered half-heartedly. There was a bare trace of a smile on his face, probably the first in a long time. "I told you, Duo. I need you."
There was an undercurrent to that. There was something Heero wasn't telling him. "All right," Duo murmured at last, perfectly happy to accept that at face value. For now. Whatever it was, Heero would tell him when it was necessary. But right now...
Heero was nuzzling the hollow of his throat, slowly and thoroughly.
"Mmm... Heero?"
"Hn?"
"I don't want to interrupt -- by any means, we can continue... but... " Duo trailed off, assuming his favorite puppy-dog look that had fallen into disuse.
"Spit it out."
"You're right," he conferred generously. "We should have used the bed. I've got something digging into my spine something awful... and I think you ground me into the tiles with those last few-- mmph--"
Heero silenced him with demanding mouth and tongue. Then he pulled away from Duo. He whimpered a protest at the loss, then Heero was scooping him up in a pair of wiry arms and they were tumbling into bed together. Exactly where he wanted to be.
-End Part 1-
(:./talya/love1)
