Heero opened his eyes slowly relishing in the warmth of Duo's body pressed against his. The still sleeping boy looked completely vulnernable, snoring softly. Heero slipped out from the embrace and pulled the covers snuggly around Duo before dressing and going to the kitchen. He had only slept for five hours, but was never one to stay in bed after the sun rose unless wounded, or just coming in from an assignment. He quietly shuffled around the kitchen, making coffee for he and Trowa, who was also an early riser, and brought down the kettle for Wufei's tea as well. It was to be a hard morning for everyone, the events of last night flashing through his mind with precision and pain. He remembered every look, every thought and every feeling he had gone through when Duo returned from Howard's. He shook his head a bit and sighed to himself. Not even a full day had gone by and already he was reeling with emotions and thoughts that frightened him.
Trowa entered the kitchen to find Heero completely engrossed in his own thoughts, so much so that the 'Perfect Soldier' didn't even hear him come in. He cleared his throat softly and met Heero's bright blue eyes with his own green ones. "I didn't think you would be up this early today."
"Couldn't sleep anymore. Coffee?" Heero poured Trowa a cup and sipped from his own mug, letting the rich dark substance flow down the back of his throat and into his empty stomach.
"Quatre hardly slept after he saw you in the hall." Trowa paused and looked at Heero's eyes. They held more emotion than he had ever seen in the pilot before. "What have you found out from Duo?"
"Like you all had thought, he's not well." Heero frowned a bit then let out an exasperated huff, which caused Trowa to look at him with an uneasy sense of curiosity. "He's been keeping it from us for some time."
"It's understandable. He was never one to get us involved with his demons. Quatre figured something was up a few months ago when Duo had visited him on L4 and pressed for information, but only got vague answers. Wufei also tried to pin him down and pull out information from him, but you know Duo... he just turned it into a verbal sparring match until Wufei was so flustered he gave up."
"So I was the only one who didn't take action when Duo's behavior changed these past few months."
Trowa sipped his coffee and dumped some more sugar into the mug, but didn't raise his eyes to meet Heero's. "You must realize that he was most concerned about disappointing you, Heero. Being your partner gave him a lot to live up to. He hid from you the most. He was also concerned that G would take him off active duty or worse. Thankfully Oz activities have been fairly low key for a while. I think they are still reeling from the New Edwards mess."
"Hn." The two sat sipping their coffee quietly. He knew as well as Trowa that Duo wouldn't do well confined in a safehouse working on mission prep. G wouldn't dare try to have him killed, seeing Duo really was the one who knew Deathscythe's stealth programming. He was still too valuable a pilot to get rid of.
Not too long after their second cups, Wufei and Quatre wandered into the kitchen having finished a morning routine of running and marshal arts exercises. Seeing Heero in the kitchen and no sign of Duo, made Quatre flash a look of worry in Trowa's direction. Wufei just chugged a glassful of water before making tea for Quatre and himself. "Where's Duo?" Quatre toweled off his dripping face a bit and sat next to Trowa.
"Still sleeping. He had a bad night." Heero's voice sounded strange to all of them.
"Did you find out what's been going on with him lately?" Quatre asked quietly.
Wufei let out a snort from around gulps of water. "Maxwell's always got some problem or another. I'm sure it's just another sad attempt to gain attention."
For the first time the Perfect Soldier had dropped his mask in front of them as a group and his heart was bleeding in front of them. "He's dying."
The glass that Wufei held hit the floor and shattered into tiny pieces that skid across the floor. The silence that followed seemed to last longer than the sparse minutes it did. The words just hung there, waiting for someone to acknowledge them into existence. Wufei stared scowling at Heero while Trowa wrapped an arm around Quatre who was starting to shake. Finally speaking, Wufei's voice was laced with accusatory malice directed at Heero for ever letting the words fall from his mouth. Wufei ignored the broken shards of glass at his feet as he yelled at Heero from where he was standing by the sink. He was no fool, nor was he oblivious to the strange change in their comrade, but he knew that if whatever was going on with Duo came to light, it would become real. Whatever it was, would have to be dealt with. What if he hadn't the strength to deal? What if he lost another he had finally accepted in his life? "What the hell are you saying, Yuy? This is just one of Maxwell's little stunts for sympathy. That braided baka isn't dying!"
Heero didn't reply to the outburst, but stood and went to gather the dustpan and broom. Trowa helped him clean up the glass while Quatre sat at the table, his head buried in his arms, not making a sound. Not getting a response, Wufei stormed out of the kitchen and into the garden. "We have to pull it together, Duo made it more than clear that he doesn't want us to treat him any differently while he is receiving treatments. He wants to tell us the details himself, and until he's ready... it's business as usual." Heero slipped into soldier mode as he dumped the glass into the trash, watching a tiny bit of blood trickle from his finger where a shard had pricked him.
"How can you say that?! You tell us that Duo is dying, and then tell us to go back to business as usual?! How can you be so cold?!" Quatre slammed his fist on the table as tears streamed from his wide aqua eyes. He pushed Trowa away as the taller boy tried to calm him.
"It's what Duo wants, not me, Quatre." Heero didn't look at the blonde pilot, but watched the blood run down the length of his finger until a tiny droplet fell and spattered onto the white tiled floor.
"Damn you Heero! It's just about your duties, isn't it?... can't you see? Don't you know? Damn it Heero, Duo loves you and you want him to just go on like normal?!" Quatre bolted up from his chair and stood over Heero who had slid down to the floor, resting his head back against the cabinet.
"Quatre, that's enough." Trowa grabbed the boy by his shoulders as Quatre began screaming at Heero in his own language.
"Quatre." Three sets of eyes snapped up to the sound of Duo's voice, broken hearted in the doorway, as he watched the scene. "Stop, please." A thick silence filled the small space and no one dared to move.
Duo looked sleep tousled and groggy, wearing only a loose pair of gray sweats and a white t-shirt. He had rebraided his hair which hung over his shoulder, tiny strands sticking out from each plait. Quatre was stifling sobs and hiccupping, quickly averting his eyes from the huge violet ones who looked at him thoughtfully from the doorway. Duo walked past Trowa who was holding Quatre, to where Heero sat on the floor.
"Heero, you alright? You're bleeding." Duo's voice was almost a whisper as he gently took Heero's hand and pulled the piece of glass from his fingertip. He then put the finger to his mouth and sucked on it to stop the bleeding. Closing his eyes, Heero ran one finger from his other hand lightly down the side of Duo's face before letting it fall limply in his lap. When Quatre saw the tenderness between the two on the floor, he burst out with another soul wrenching sob and tore out of Trowa's arms and practically tackled Duo from his crouch to the floor. "Shhh, Q-man, everything's gonna be okay. I ain't goin' anywhere, just yet." Quatre hung on to Duo as the three sat in a mass on the floor. Heero pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his head, afraid that he too, would lose what little control of his emotions he had left, watching Duo comfort Quatre, who was crying like a small child in Duo's lap. They were soon joined by Trowa, who sat beside Heero on the floor.
Wufei heard the fighting between Quatre and Heero and figured something was terribly wrong when the screaming ceased so abruptly, and flew into the kitchen to find Duo cradling Quatre, who was crying freely. Trowa was next to Heero, who was still curled up on himself, rocking back and forth slightly in a soothing rhythm. "Why was I not informed that we were going to hug? It is an injustice that I was not included in this moment!" He was dead serious as he hollered at the group of boys on the kitchen floor. Duo looked up at him with tear stained cheeks and broke out into wild laughter, soon followed by Trowa, chuckling softly. Heero looked up with damp eyelashes at Wufei. The Chinese boy was standing with his arms crossed and scowling down at the group of them. Quatre finally calmed down enough, but was definitely not laughing. Wufei crossed the kitchen and sat behind Duo and shook his head. "This lunacy is your fault Maxwell. But even so, it shouldn't change the fact that we care for you, and I personally refuse to let you die, is that clear?" Wufei scowled at Duo once more, who burst out laughing again.
"Anything you say Wu-pet, anything you say!" Duo gently nudged Quatre into Trowa's lap and stood up, pulling Wufei up with him. "Look at you guys, call yourselves Gundam pilots? Why we are the most destructive force on the face of the Earth and the colonies, the saviors of the Universe and the best damn chance for peace ever, and here were are; sitting on the floor, blubbering like babies!" He wiped his face with his sleeve and smiled brightly at them. "Come on Tro, I'm starving and it's your turn to make breakfast."
Trowa only looked puzzled for a split second before getting he and Quatre up off the floor too. Once Quatre sat down at the table with Wufei, he went about pulling items from the cub board and refrigerator to begin breakfast. Duo poured himself a cup of coffee then approached Heero, who hadn't moved. He knelt down and put a hand on Heero's shoulder and softly whispered something into his ear. So softly in fact, that none of the others heard what it was. It was enough to get the dark haired boy to nod and rise. Duo smiled warmly, even with the shadow of pain in his sparkling eyes, and he followed Heero out into the next room, leaving the other three to finish breakfast preparations. "Heero? Are you gonna be okay?" Duo asked calmly and took a sip of coffee. He watched Heero pace around the room for a few minutes before sitting ramrod straight in a chair near the window.
"I'm supposed to ask you that." Heero didn't make eye contact with Duo since he had entered the kitchen, afraid that he would lose his fragile hold on his own emotions.
"I'm as good as I get. Besides, I thought we made a deal. I thought you were going to let me do this my way." He couldn't help smirking at the defiant glare he received from Heero, who had finally turned to look at him. "So how much did they drag out of you before I walked in?"
"Not sure. How long were you standing there?" Heero turned and looked out the window watching the golden leaves silently fall from the branches of a large oak tree and scatter in the autumn wind.
Duo leaned against the wall and studied the way Heero's dark locks stuck up around his face, framing the blue eyes like a portrait. He could lose himself forever in those eyes. "Just a few minutes before Quatre went Zero on you. I'm surprised you let him berate you like that."
"They don't know what happened between us last night."
"Oh."
"I told them you had been ill and that you could... "
"Die." Heero visibly winced, making Duo shut his eyes tightly and hold onto the warm mug with a death grip, in fear his trembling hands would drop it. He didn't even realize that Heero had crossed the room in record speed and was now standing in front of him. When he opened his eyes again, he was staring into blazing cobalt and for the first time ever, watched as tears slowly crept from Heero Yuys' blue depths. It was then his heart broke. "Heero... I'm so sorry... don't cry, please, not for me... I can't stand it... " Duo choked out as he let the mug fall to the floor as he hugged Heero fiercely. The brown liquid slowly began to seep into the carpet, turning its shade to crimson.
"I thought that maybe this was all some kind of test, or nightmare, and that I would wake up to find it just that, an illusion, nothing more." Heero's voice was strangely steady, even though the tears were still falling. "I woke to find you, finally in my arms after so long and the thought that some day you wouldn't be there... "
"Heero, I could have died in a mission tomorrow and you may very well have been hit by a bus in a week, so what difference does it make how we die, or when? We all have to go sometime. We have each other now, and that is what's important, right? So no more tears, or I'll shoot myself right now, I swear it... I can't stand to see you like this."
"I'd be right behind you then." Heero spoke with a calmness that made the spinning emotions and raging thoughts going through Duo's mind halt abruptly.
Duo pushed away from Heero and fixed him with a harsh glare. "Don't ever say that again. I've already lived through one self-destruct attempt, I'll be damned if I let you try it again. I will never forgive myself if all of this leads to you getting hurt, do you hear me, you bastard?" Heero took a step forward only to have Duo take a step back. "Do you hear me? Tell me you understand."
"I understand." Heero wasn't able to say any more than that as he brushed the back of his hand across his face as if the wetness there had never been. He watched as Duo moved to retrieve the fallen mug, eyes fixed on the stain that looked so much like the drying color of blood, then followed Duo back into the kitchen, where they sat in silence for breakfast.
End Part 6
(:./ebony/death6)
