Duo finds that dessert shouldn't be shared with others
"Love potion?"
Duo was scrunching his cap between his hands. "Well, the person I like isn't the type to admit his feelings. But the thing is I don't want to make a fool of myself by saying something and having the guy avoid me because he's creeped out. You can see the bind I'm in. I'd just like a way of knowing if he's receptive or not. Do you have anything like that?"
The woman behind the counter sighed and said, "Well, I've got a little something that should do the trick." She went to the backroom, then put down a little dish that had crème brulée in it, then she pulled out a little vial. She sprinkled it on top of the brulée then blow torched it, causing there to be a caramelized shell on top. "There you go."
"He likes sweets, but... "
"The vial has something that will be sure to intensify any feelings he has for you."
"Oh... I see. But why a crème brulée?"
"Well, it has a slightly burnt almond flavor so you can just say that it's part of the dessert. I've woven a little spell around it so the person who eats it will focus their attention on you, not anybody else. That's so the person doesn't go for the wrong person."
"Oh, I see. Thanks!" he said, handing her the money.
The shopkeeper sighed.
"Heero?" said Duo.
"What?" said Heero, drinking a cup of coffee.
"Want to try my crème brulée? It's really good."
Heero looked dubiously at it. "What's it made out of?"
"Well, actually I bought it for you. Want some?" Duo considerately handed him a spoon.
Heero took the spoon, looked at it dubiously some more, then tapped at the topping. Then he took the amount of a small teaspoon and tasted it. Then he frowned and said, "Duo, why are you staring at me grinning like an idiot?"
"I am?"
"Yes, it's distracting."
"Well, how is it?"
"Not bad," he said, about to dip his spoon in for another bite.
"Crème brulée! My favorite!" said Quatre. "It's been so long."
"Want it?" said Heero, handing the dish over to Quatre.
"No, I couldn't, could I?" said Quatre.
"Wait!" Oh, crap, thought Duo.
Quatre had already put a spoonful in his mouth and pleasure bloomed across his face. "Trowa, you've got to try this."
"Ah, crème brulée." Trowa exclaimed. He also took a mouthful. "It's perfect."
Wufei walked in, then Quatre said, "Wufei, try this excellent crème brulée."
Wufei scowled, but took a bite. A big bite.
Duo had by this time, turned a very nasty green. "Excuse me, I should go... "
Quatre frowned and said, "My uchuu no kokoro kinda feels funny."
Trowa peels off his green sweater. "It's getting hot in here."
Wufei held his head and shook it. "No, this is not happening to me," he wails.
Heero turned his head and glared at Duo. "What is going on?"
"Wha... " God, I wish I knew, thought Duo.
Wufei was the first to succumb. Drooling, he howled, "Duo, you are mine!"
Heero whalloped Wufei on the head with a 2 by 4, which caused the board to snap in two since his head was so damn hard.
Duo thought to himself, Everything is going horribly, horribly wrong.
Trowa analyzed the situation and thought, What we need are some lions. He ran out of the room.
Unfortunately, while all this was occurring...
Noin licked the creamy sweetness of the crème brulée off the spoon.
"Sally, you really should try this."
"I can't, Noin, I'm going cold turkey on sweets. Perhaps Dorothy would like a taste."
Dorothy took a small spoonful and remarked, "Yes, this is quite excellent."
"Noin, look, Wufei's lying face down on the floor, " said Sally.
"He's probably meditating,"sniffed Noin.
Duo snatched it out of her hands and dashed the crème brulée on the floor.
"What did you do that for?" Then a funny expression crossed Noin's face. "Oh, I see you're in the mood for a different kind of dessert." Then she arched her eyebrows and let out a little sexy growl. "Take me, Duo Maxwell."
"Um, Noin, where do you want to go?" said Duo, backing away, feeling very much like a lamb before a very hungry she-wolf...
Sally put her hand on Noin's shoulder. "What's wrong with you, Noin? What about Zechs?"
Noin waved Sally's hand off. "Zechs is simply a pale imitation of the glory that is Duo Maxwell."
Dorothy shoved Noin aside and said, "Duo, let us play Utena and Anthy. Just lay back in my arms so I can pull out your... "
It was at that exact moment that the Trowa burst into the room "Simba, Rajah, attack!"
Two lions burst into the room about to tear the occupants to pieces when Dorothy pulled a belt from around her waist and snapped it. The lions stood to attention before a force of nature that was greater than they were...
Then the door opened as if pushed by a whirlwind and Catherine appeared in her circus costume. "Rajah, Simba, go back to your cages now!" she ordered.
The two lions ran back outside with their tail between their legs, knowing who was truly on top. Then Catherine ran up to Trowa, slapped him around a few times, then pulled him out of the room by his unibang. "Never, ever let those lions loose again."
"Neeeeesan,let go... " he wailed.
Meanwhile, Quatre flipped his cellular phone shut. Rashid and the others will be here soon, he thought. Soon, Duo, you will be mine. Then he frowned, Where did he go?
He looked around and heard a jeep roar off. "No, come back!" he yelled. He tried to run towards the parking lot, but he was tripped.
When he got up, he saw the menacing figure of Dorothy. They glared at each other so intensely that the force field it created was just about to glow when Quatre said, "Dorothy Catalonia, I see I must get rid of you before I can concentrate on giving Duo a tongue bath. How shall we settle this matter/"
Dorothy said, "We must fight Gundam to Gundam."
Quatre frowned. "You don't have a Gundam."
Dorothy ran into the other room and brought back Zechs in a headlock. "Milliard-sama, please tell me where you parked the Epyon."
"I will not! Now let go of my head before you mess up my hair," Howled the blond man.
Dorothy, incensed, pulls out an electric razor and turned it on. The buzz could be heard. "I will only ask one more time, Milliard-sama. Where is the Epyon?"
"Noin, do something!"
"Where is the Epyon?" said Noin, pulling out a pair of scissors.
"Heero, where is this place?" said Duo. It had taken half an hour of spelunking to get to this cave. A sheet of water formed one of the walls and let in some light.
"We're behind a waterfall."
"How did you find this place?"
"Sometimes I need to be really alone, so I looked for a place where nobody could bother me."
"I see," said Duo. I guess being in your room with your computer isn't alone enough for you because I'm always there to bother you. I guess that you don't have any feelings for me at all. Even Quatre, Trowa, Wufei and Dorothy have more feelings for me than you do. Kuso!! Then he frowned. "Why did you bring me here?"
"This is one place I know of that the others don't know about." He flipped open his computer and contacted a defense satellite and hacked into it. "I better check on what's going on... "
And his computer showed...
Dorothy in Epyon and Quatre in Wing Zero faced each other. "Don't you know that you are facing Wing Zero Quatre?"
Dorothy smiled her insane cheshire cat's grin and said, "Well, Quatre Raberba Winner, you are facing Dorothy in Epyon, who is now under the influence of the ancient precursor of the Zero system!"
"And what may that be?"
"PMS!!!!!" she yelled then did a battle whoop as she attacked with her beam saber.
Quatre screamed in terror, but managed to parry the blow.
Zechs was in a little fetal ball, saying, "You cut my hair, you cut my hair."
Noin scowled at him and said, "I only cut three strands. THREE strands!"
Meanwhile, Wufei had fully recovered from the blow to his head with his brains scrambled only in the usual fashion. "Where is Nataku?"
"You've forgotten where you left your Gundam?" said Sally.
"No, my new Nataku is the braided beauty who came from the heavens for me to worship I must find him so I can service... er serve him." His eyes shone as brightly as his forehead.
Sally sighed, took the magical hammer that appeared whenever an anime woman got pissed, and smacked him on the head.
"It also seems that all the Manganacs are sweeping the countryside looking for you," stated Heero.
Duo groaned and hid his face in his knees and curled into an upright ball. Crap, crap, he thought.
"Duo, is this what you wanted?"
"No, no, this is not what I wanted!"
"Then why are they all acting like that?" snapped Heero. "What was in that crème brulée?"
"I really don't know."
Heero glared at him.
"I don't," protested Duo. "I just went to the local shop where they were selling herbs and potions, and I asked for something that would make someone reveal any hidden feelings for me. I guess she put in the ultra-strength version." His voice trailed off.
Heero looked really surprised, opened his mouth... then his eyes widened in realization.
Duo sighed, "Well, I guess even Wufei has more feelings for me than you do. I should go back and throw myself on the tender mercies of whoever's left standing after all this... " He was about to stand up when he felt two hands on his shoulders keeping him from getting up.
"Duo."
"What?"
"It's not safe for you to leave."
"It's not like they're going to kill me. What does it matter to you anyway? YOU obviously don't care."
"Baka, why do you think I drove you away from there? Why do you think you're the only one I've ever shown this place to?" Heero actually looked a little hurt.
"What?" said Duo.
Meanwhile, Dorothy was slamming her mecha's knee repeatedly in Wing Zero's crotch. Unfortunately as Quatre had uchuu no kokoro, he felt his mecha's pain and howled. He pulled up the Buster Beam Cannon and was about to use it on her when she grabbed his arm. The trigger was pressed.
The full force of the blast was aimed right at Wufei, but his forehead was so shiny that it absorbed, then reflected it back full force, knocking Wing Zero off its feet, causing Quatre to faint.
Sally sighed and said to the slightly singed Wufei, "How many times have I told you to use an astringent for that forehead. You don't want pimples, do you?"
Dorothy then noticed that she was under a barrage of bullets that that ended as quickly as it started.
"Hmm," said Trowa in Heavy Arms. "I seemed to have run out of ammo even faster than I usually do."
Noin watched all this with tears in her eyes. "Oh, if only Dorothy was on our side." Then she saw Catherine run by.
"Heero, I... " said Duo. Damn, this is so confusing, he thought. "Well, why aren't you running around declaring your love like everybody else?"
"That's not how I express my love."
Duo's mouth opened. He said the word love? he thought. Oh, my God.
"Besides, I didn't eat very much of it like the rest of them and I've been conditioned not to be affected by mind-altering chemicals. Now do you know how to stop all this?"
Duo shook his head. "I really wish... "
"ARGHHHH, I'M STUCKKK!!!!!" bellowed someone in one of the passages.
"Quick, somebody get some olive oil!" said Abdul. "I told you to lay off the falafel, but noooo, you had to eat that last one."
"Oh, no," groaned Duo. "That's Rashid."
Heero grabbed Duo by the waist and pulled out a button. He pressed it and an explosion was heard. Rashid was heard to be going, "GYYYAAAAAAHHHH!"
Heero then said, "The cave's going to collapse. We have to jump."
"What?"
Heero then jumped out of the cave, taking Duo with him.
Dorothy had finished smashing Heavyarms' back with her knee then throwing him to one side when she turned around to see Wing Zero. "Quatre, you want to fight some more?" she sneered.
"This is not Quatre, this is Catherine Bloom and I will not FORGIVE you for hurting my little brother!" The Zero Program then fed into her brain, telling her, Everybody that hurts my ototo must die!!!
At around that time, some airplanes from OZ were sent to figure out exactly what the hell was going on. Catherine saw one, grabbed one and proceeded to throw one at Dororthy, who then promptly grabbed one and threw one back.
Catherine then took the shrapnel and used the sharper slimmer bits to use as throwing knives. The rest of the airplanes flew out of the area as quickly as possible.
"OH, HOLY DING DONG CRAP!!" yelled the shopkeeper, who came riding in on her Ninja Kawasaki motorcycle...
It turned out that the drop was only five feet down. After realizing that the drop wasn't suicidal, Duo said, "Heero, why didn't we just go through the water to get to the cave?"
"I didn't want to get wet."
Duo sighed, then said, "Wait a minute, you just messed up your secret place because of me. Oh, man, I am sorry."
Heero then bent his head so his forehead touched Duo's and said, "So, how about making it up to me." Then they kissed, the waterfall in the background.
Wufei woke up and said, "My widdle head hurts. Owwie." He rubbed his forehead and temples.
"Don't worry, Wufei, Sally will take care of everything," said Sally, massaging medicinal cream into his forehead. Then she smiled, Orgasms are good for headaches. She gathered him in her arms and ran quickly into the house.
The shopkeeper watched as the two women kept on fighting. "This has got to stop!" She pulled up her sleeves, then yelled, "DRAGONSLAVE!!!!"
The impact of that spell finally knocked both Gundams flat on their back, causing the girls inside to lose consciousness.
The woman pulled out her crystal ball and saw Heero and Duo necking like crazy on the bank of the river. "Ah, yes, nothing succeeds like a little jealousy to make someone realize how much they like someone. Ninmyu Kanryo!"
With that, she left the area, knowing that when Quatre had fully recovered his wits, he would immediately try to send her and her shop into the sun...
By the time Heero and Duo made their way back to the house, Sally had gotten rid of Wufei's headache. Quatre and Trowa had finished checking each other for injuries. Noin had calmed Zechs down by handing him a lovely peace offering of a dozen bottles of salon shampoo and a gift certificate for a facial, pedicure and manicure.
Dorothy and Catherine came running up.
"Are you all right, Dorothy?" said Quatre.
"I've got great news," said Catherine.
"What?" said Trowa.
"Dorothy proposed and I accepted," Catherine said, holding Dorothy's hand. Dorothy's eyes gleamed brightly with pride at finally meeting and capturing a woman as strong as herself.
Trowa and Quatre both fainted and started to froth at the mouth. Heero and Duo both shrugged and kept on walking into the house, hand in hand.
The End
(:./mk/everybody1)
