DISCLAIMER: All Gundam Wing characters are property of Sunrise, Bandai
Visuals, Sotsu Agency, and Asahi TV. This work is not written for profit,
but for entertainment purposes only.
"Wu Fei." Zechs barely breathed the name. His face had gone blank, and it looked to Duo as if he were in a kind of trance, his expression showing no emotion at all. "Wu Fei," the whispered name came again.
Duo felt the young man at his side stiffen. "What are you doing with *him,*" Wu Fei said in a rather unpleasant tone. Duo looked over at him, noticing the odd expression, part anger, part vulnerability, and overall washed in pain that the American didn't understand.
When Zechs didn't respond to the mildly insulting tone, Duo glanced back and forth between the two for a moment, then tried valiantly to ease the tension. "Uh, Zechs and I are traveling together and we came to London yesterday. Were you here on a Preventer thing, Wufie?"
The dark-haired pilot nodded his head, saying nothing but continuing to stare at Zechs.
Another back and forth glance by Duo . "Zechs, it's cool I met up with Wufie, huh. I haven't seen him for over a year!" He smiled gamely at his lover, who didn't shift his gaze.
"No," came the deep voice, "neither have I."
Duo's hope of creating a cordial atmosphere had all but vanished. It was obvious that Zechs was not at all pleased that he'd run into Wu Fei, but Duo couldn't for the life of him think of why that would be. /He's acting so weird - I need to get him alone. Get him to tell me what's wrong.../
The braided boy tried one last time. "Well, Wufie - uh, we we're thinking of going to lunch a bit later. Maybe you could meet us somewhere? Right Zechs?" Surely whatever the problem was could be worked out in the hour they had until lunchtime and he really wanted a chance to talk to Wu Fei - to find out what his former colleague had been up to for the past year. Zechs would understand that, he was certain.
Zechs, however, was having a difficult time with the aforementioned understanding. Instead, he was staring at Duo as if he just given a set of sharp knives to a homicidal killer. "Duo -" he began, but was cut off by his young lover's happy chatter. "Great! That's settled then. Wufie, why don't you meet us downstairs in the cafe in an hour? You can fill me in on everything that you've been doing, 'kay?"
Wu Fei finally tore his eyes from Zechs and frowned at the former gundam pilot. "Duo -"
"Okay, see you there! Remember, one hour! Don't forget! Bye!" Duo was dragging Zechs out of the room as he spoke, grinning at Wu Fei and waving his hand. In another minute they were in the corridor by themselves.
Duo looked up, a little fearfully, at the tall blond. "Don't kill me Zechs."
Zechs opened his mouth, as if to say something, then seemed to think better of it, and headed off down the corridor towards the elevators with long, powerful strides and Duo's arm attached to one hand.
Duo did not take this as a good sign. /Oh, man am I dead meat now... take a last look, Maxwell, this is the last you'll see of the earth... he's gonna kill me, I just know it.../
Zechs punched the call button and the elevator door opened immediately. Pulling Duo inside, the blond waited until the doors had closed and then punched the "stop" button on the elevator's control panel. They went nowhere, just as he had planned.
He stood now with his arms crossed in front of him, staring at the row of floor symbols above the doors. He took a very deep breath and let it out slowly. Then he appeared to count to three and, finally, said, "Is it my imagination, Duo, or did you actually invite that boy to dine with us?"
"Um, no Zechs. It wasn't your imagination. I did ask him." Duo was feeling exactly the way he had when he was living at Maxwell Church and had stolen communion wafers and passed them out to all the kids so they could use them as frisbees. He ducked his head and looked up at Zechs with huge, violet eyes, hoping he appeared sufficiently adorable to prevent his untimely demise. "Was that not a good idea?" he asked gingerly.
Zechs was still staring at the floor numbers. "In the future, you will kindly remember to check with me before you begin adding people to our lunch dates, is that clear?"
Duo turned a bit toward his lover and shoved his hands into his back pockets. "Yeah," he said quietly, beginning to pout a bit. "But - well..."
"Yes. What is it?" Zechs said rather icily.
"Well," Duo's gaze flickered down to his feet, then back up to Zechs. "You didn't exactly check with me before you invited Relena to stay with us."
From what Duo could tell, Zechs was frozen in place, only a faint trembling of his long, lean body giving away the emotions inside. He stood that way for a moment, and then turned to face away from Duo. "It's not the same," he said thickly. "You don't understand. Wu Fei and I -" He cut himself off and looked up at the ceiling, pale golden hair spilling down his back as he did so. "There are a lot of things between he and myself that aren't resolved. Probably never will be. I never expected to see him again, and frankly I'm not at all happy that I have."
When it became apparent that the tall man would be saying nothing more. Duo stared down at the floor of the elevator for a moment, then moved to stand in back of his lover, slender arms encircling his waist. He held tightly to the blond man's frame and buried his face in platinum silk. His voice, when he spoke, was muffled. "You've just described my feelings about Relena to a 'T, Bunny.'" Duo turned his head to rest a cheek on Zechs' back. His eyes were closed and he held the older man as if someone were trying to take him away.
Zechs stared blindly ahead, eyes unfocused, for several moments then turned and scooped Duo up in his arms, hugging him tightly to his chest. "Oh, Duo... I'm sorry. You're right. There is no difference between what I did and what you just did. I should have seen that and I didn't. Please forgive me."
Burying his face between the tall man's neck and shoulder, Duo felt a wave of relief pass through him. "You don't need to apologize, Bunny," he said softly, stroking Zechs' hair. "I didn't know there was any kind of bad feeling between you and Wufie. I don't understand it, but - if you want I'll try to track him down and tell him lunch is off."
Gently, Zechs allowed Duo's feet to touch the floor again. "No, that wouldn't be fair to you. He's your friend, isn't he? You want to spend some time with him. That's only natural." He lifted a hand to stroke the outline of Duo's cheek. "It's all right," he said in a quiet voice.
Duo pressed a hand against the one caressing his face. "Can you - can you tell me why? Why you and he don't get along?"
Zechs appeared to consider the request for several moments, then finally spoke. "I can tell you some things," he said. "Let's go down to the cafe, we can talk before he comes."
As they rode the now functional elevator to the lower level, Duo wrapped his arms around Zechs' waist, pressing him against the side of the car and looking up at him. "Bunny," he said in a solemn voice. "I think we just survived our first argument."
Zechs frowned for an instant and then smiled down at his lover. "Yes, Kitten. I believe we have."
Wu Fei remained where he was as Duo tugged Zechs down the corridor. He stared at the door to the room, as if Zechs was still there, and let his thoughts tumble around him. /He looks the same... the same damned way... tall, blond, beautiful... everything that Treize wanted... everything I'm not. He knows I killed Treize... he hates me for it, I could see that in his eyes... But *he's* the one who should know hatred... *He's* the one that deserves days of shame and regret... nights of unending loneliness... what the hell is Duo doing with *him?*/
There was a lump in his throat and for some strange reason he was having trouble swallowing. Before the tears could fall, though, he'd stood up and was headed for the exit. At the door he turned back one more time and regarded the dazzling gold dragon. /I don't even deserve to look at you... you would never be as weak as I am.../ With that, the slender Chinese boy turned sharply and walked into the corridor.
Their server had come and gone and now Zechs and Duo were stirring their drinks - Zechs his hot tea and Duo his cocoa. "There are a lot of things I can't go into," Zechs began quietly. "Things that are Wu Fei's to decided whether he tells you or not. So you might not understand a lot of what I'm going to say. But the issues are... serious enough that I would never speak for him." Zechs frowned slightly and added a small lump of sugar to his tea. "What I can tell you is that... Treize believed he understood Wu Fei. He thought he knew why fighting on his own was so important to him, and why so much of what drove him was outrage - at what had been done to his people, and to the Colony on which they were exiled. To Treize, Wu Fei embodied everything that was good about war."
Zechs' frowned deepened and he stared down into the amber liquid in his cup. "That is - everything he *thought* was good about war. There isn't anything good about it in my opinion. It's stupid and bloody and pointless. But Treize - he was different than me. Very much different."
Duo put his mug of cocoa down and rested a cheek in one hand, staring at Zechs as if he were a hieroglyphic that needed deciphering. "So, are you saying that you and Wu Fei don't like each other because of Treize?"
"No - I'm saying that Treize felt a very strong connection to Wu Fei." Zechs took a sip of tea before going on. "Not only did he feel he understood Wu Fei, but... he truly believed that Wu Fei understood him as well."
Duo shrugged slightly and nodded his head. "That follows."
The blond man toyed with the handle of his teacup. "No, it doesn't. Not really. Not with Treize, you see, because Treize was one of the most misunderstood men that ever walked the earth." He paused and swallowed thickly. "I can see that now. Very clearly. And I was one of the ones who misunderstood him the most."
Duo crossed his arms in front of him and rested them on the table. "I'm sure you're wrong, Zechs. I mean, you were Treize's closest friend. You were his lover. Who could possibly understand him better than you?"
/Who indeed?/ Zechs thought bitterly. /Could it have been a little gundam pilot with a lot of bravado and pretty, dark eyes.../ Zechs couldn't make himself believe it.
"I think Treize was wrong about your friend. I don't think Wu Fei knew just *why* Treize treated him the way he did. Treize was enchanted with the idea of Wu Fei's honor and willingness to fight in a noble way. That's why he let him go after that first duel they had. But Wu Fei..." Zechs rested his cheek in his hand. "Wu Fei took that as pity. I think he hated pity and so at some level he hated Treize. But at another level..." The blond's voice trailed off and a frown of concern crossed Duo's face.
"Bunny?"
Zechs looked up and smiled weakly. "It's not my place to talk about that other level. Forget I said anything." He leaned back in his chair stretching long legs out and crossing them at the ankles.
Duo stared at him, still puzzling. "How about you, Zechs? I mean, sure, you*acted* like you hated Treize, that was obvious, But did you? Really?
Zechs thought back to that scene he always replayed in his mind. Whenever he was sad or discouraged or anxious it would come, unbidden. That moment on the Libra when he was about to fire the beam cannon at Treize. It did what it always did. It made him shudder.
" Sometimes, Duo," he said, his voice sounding far away, "I don't think I ever understood him. I thought I did, at least in the early days of our friendship. But now," he shook his head then drained his cup. "Now, I think I may have been mistaken about him all along."
It was Duo's turn to frown. "What were you mistaken about?"
Zechs had picked up the empty tea cup and was brushing his thumb along the blue-and-gold pattern around the rim. "What he really believed was the best solution for peace, perhaps. Why he believed that winning peace depended so much on mobile suits. What he thought would happen after the end of the war..." Zechs' voice trailed off and his eyes seemed far away, as if he were looking sadly at a future that would never come to pass. Which, actually, is exactly what he was doing.
Duo reached out a hand and took the cup gently from Zechs' fingers. Then he reached up and held the side of the beautiful golden face in one hand, fingers lightly stroking the soft skin. "Bunny," he whispered. "Oh, Bunny I'm so sorry... You were trying to do what you thought was right. All of us were... even Wu Fei."
Zechs' gaze moved slowly to Duo's face. His eyes were full of grief and anger. "He killed him. And for the longest time I thought that he was *better* than I was because *he'd* managed to kill him and *I* hadn't." Shimmering tears were just on the edge of falling from ice-blue eyes. "but now -" Zechs was staring at Duo as if his gaze could bore right through him. /If I look away from him, I'll be lost and falling. Oh, sweet boy - give me strength!/
"But now, I know Treize didn't deserve to die. What happened was wrong. It should have been me, not Treize. I was the one who was threatening earth. He was only protecting it, the best way he knew how." Zechs couldn't keep the tears in. They fell silently and splashed into the saucer of his teacup. "And then that kid... that damned, *idiot* of a child comes along and -" He put his hands up, over his face and shook his head, softly. "I'm sorry," he said in a whisper. "I don't mean to burden you with all this. It's all water under the bridge now - at least it should be."
Duo was stroking Zechs' arm. "If it's still doing this to you, Bunny, I hate to tell you but it's *not* under the bridge yetr. It sounds like you and Wu Fei should have a talk."
Zechs dropped his hands and wiped his eyes with his napkin. "No. I don't think I could ever do that. That would be much too painful."
Duo was about to reply when a voice broke in. "I'm here." Wu Fei had arrived for lunch.
Back on Berkeley Square, Mouse was sitting on his bed, looking glum and reading Duo's note for the 10th time. "He'll be gone all day," the boy muttered. "Not back until tea time. Bet he's with that man..." He sighed heavily then lay back against the pillows and contemplated what to do with the rest of the afternoon.
The lawyer problem weighed heavy on him. How on earth was he going to get the man to notice him. /That officer said that the lawyer didn't know he was dead. That he thought I was just a figment of his imagination. So that must mean that if he realizes he dead, he'll admit that he really is seeing me, and we could talk. But how to *do* it?/
He held the note over his head and frowned at it. "Rats to *you!* I need your help on this! And you go running off with that wretched long-haired creature. Well you'd better get back soon, that's all I can -" He broke off suddenly. What was that he'd heard? Something coming from the sitting room, next door - a faint, tinny sound. Mouse put an ear up to the wall that adjoined the other room. A radio! Frowning to himself, he listened again. The faint sound of an announcer's voice came through the wall, reading the news of the day.
Ignoring the strange chill that passed down his spine, the boy crossed his room and went out onto the landing, noting that the door to the sitting room was closed as usual. Fearfully, he went to it and turned the doorknob, not really wanting to come face to face with *any* apparition at the moment, least of all the lawyer.
He tried to do it silently and, for the most part succeeded. The lawyer was sitting at a small writing desk - the one that had been in the bedroom on the other side of the landing. On it was a radio, a rather primitive version at that, and the specter sat in front of it, engrossed. Mouse approached quietly, trying to gauge the man's expression but avoid looking at his horrific head injury.
The ghost himself clutched his ever present stack of papers and stared at the radio, as if in disbelief. Mouse ventured a comment. "Excuse me, sir, are you listening to the news?" To his great alarm, the creature spoke back.
"Yes, yes - the news," the man uttered in that same monotone voice, still staring at the set. "Not making sense. No, not making sense at all... "I'd very much like to know *why* -" he said, as he turned and looked up at Mouse. The he let out a blood-curdling shriek.
Mouse gasped at the sheer volume and terror of that sound and threw himself back against the wall, feeling with his hand for the door. "Who *are* you????" the lawyer screamed in terror. "What do you *want* with me???" The man was crying desperately and holding a shaky finger up, pointing straight at Mouse. "Tell me where I am??? What *is* this place????" He could barely speak now, he was crying so hard, so Mouse held his hands up, trying to calm the man and make him listen.
"Sir, please. I'm not going to hurt you. But... can you tell me what you last remember doing? Before you found yourself here?"
The crying had quieted to slow, trembling sobs, but the lawyer waved an arm at Mouse and began to back away. "You're not real," he said, shaking his head. "You're some kind of hallucination I'm having... because of what someone's doing to me." With that he turned sharply and began pounding on the wall of the room. "I give up!!!!" he screamed, making Mouse jump again and skitter back toward the door. "Whatever it is you want from me, I'll do it!! Just let me out of here!!!" The sobbing had begun again. "Let me out..."
Mouse backed slowly out of the door as the apparition turned his bruised and battered face to the wall and wept.
The boy was shivering by the time he had gotten to the hallway and then on into his room. He sat on his bed again and wrapped his arms around himself for comfort. Picking up Duo's note, he began, slowly, to rock back and forth.
"Hey, Wufie, sit down!" Duo said, attempting to sound like his old self. The Chinese boy sat, rather reluctantly, and eyed Zechs for a moment. The tall blond let his eye flicker over Wu Fei and inclined his head slightly in acknowledgement.
/Isn't *this* going to be an entertaining lunch,/ Duo sighed to himself and began asking Wu Fei about what he'd seen in the museum.
As Duo and Wu Fei chatted about the Chinese exhibit, Zechs sat back and watched the young Preventer, marveling again at how *different* they were from each other. Wu Fei was small, very small for a man, and his hair was the darkest blue-black color Zechs had ever seen. His eyes seemed like ebony, swallowing all the light around them and becoming dense, black pools set in long, dark lashes. /How utterly opposite from me,/ he thought, comparing his pale, almost white-gold hair and ice-blue eyes to those of Chang Wu Fei.
/Perhaps Treize had tired of blondes and wanted someone who looked nothing like me.../ The thought came unbidden and he had to beat it off to clear it from his mind. How many times had Treize been with this boy? It made him shiver and he picked up his teacup, draining the hot liquid in one gulp. Duo was speaking to him.
"What?" he asked, not having heard a word said.
"I said, Wufie here hasn't seen the Tower. Do you think we all could go together?"
"Really, Duo - I'm just fine on my own. I don't think that my joining you would be such a good idea." It was his usual, slightly contemptuous tone, and it sparked something in Zechs.
The blond man stared, quite hard, into those dark eyes and said, "Please. Join us. It would mean quite a lot to Duo."
/And nothing at all to you, I assume,/ thought Wu Fei. /Always smooth and cool, always sure of himself, of what he can do, of what he has.../ The Chinese boy wrestled with the decision for a moment. He knew being around Zechs would just make him feel bad about himself. It always had, and it didn't seem to have changed with time. Every time he looked at the former OZ ace, all he could think of was that Treize had never let go of the man. In their most intimate moments, the few they'd had before the Eve Wars, Treize had seemed suddenly distracted. Kind, as always, appreciative, definitely. But when that feeling of ecstasy came over the tall nobleman, Wu Fei was sure that in Treize's mind he was no longer in bed with a gundam pilot, but with Zechs. It had cut him to the quick, every time, and he still didn't know what to do with the bitterness he felt towards both of them. Finally, though, he managed to get out a word of thanks and accept Duo's offer. Fortunately, at that moment the server came by with the menus.
Zechs stayed fairly quiet after that and lunch had been mostly Duo asking about Wu Fei's life with the Preventers. The braided boy had managed to get information about Sally Po and Une, as well as the last couple of cases Wu Fei had worked. The dark-haired boy had just finished explaining about a delicately-planned military operation when he happened to mention that they were going to get a new tactician. "Anyone we know?" Duo asked finishing off his trifle, and Zechs' too.
"Yes - it's Lucrezia Noin. She's coming back to the organization." Only after the words were out did he remember the relationship between Noin and Zechs.
Before he had a chance to say anything, though, Duo had turned to the blond at his side. "See? Told ya she'd take it, didn't I? I *knew* she couldn't stay away from that stuff for long, she loves it too much." Zechs murmured something about Duo being right, after all, and Wu Fei narrowed his eyes at Duo.
"You *knew* she was coming back? How?"
"Oh - well..." Duo was unclear on whether he should mention seeing Noin at Victoria and thought for a moment when, surprisingly, Zechs spoke up.
"Duo and I did a bit of work with Noin at the Victoria Club awhile ago. We were down there for a vacation, but ended up in the middle of a rather nasty conspiracy case."
Wu Fei looked at Duo, puzzled. "Vacation? Why were you two vacationing together - or should I say 'why *are* you vacationing together? I didn't even think you knew each other that well."
Zechs stood abruptly. "I'll go take care of the bill and meet you out front with the car." With that, he was gone.
"What is it?" Wu Fei asked. "Don't tell me I got him upset?" he said, the bitterness in his tone obvious.
"No," Duo said watching the long-haired blond until he was out of sight. "He's just giving me a chance to tell you on my own terms."
"Tell me what?" Wu Fei said suspiciously. "What's going on?"
Looking down at his now empty plate, Duo hesitated for just a moment before saying, "Its just... well, Zechs... and me... we're, uh... together now, ya know?" He couldn't resist a grin; just the sound of that, 'we're together,' made a wave of heat and happiness pass through him.
His friend was staring at him in disbelief. "You?" he said in a voice almost a whisper. "You and... *Zechs?*"
Duo kept grinning, he couldn't have stopped if he'd wanted to, which he didn't. "Yeah. Me and Zechs. Surprised?"
"I wouldn't use that word, no," Wu Fei said stiffly. "Why, Duo? What would on earth would make you want to be with *him?*"
Duo leaned back in his chair, grinning like a fool at the ceiling. "Well, let's see now - there's," and he started tapping on each finger, "the face, the hair, the body, the eyes... the sex, the kind heart, the caring he's shown towards me, the fact that I can say I love him and he doesn't hit me or tell me to shut up..." Wu Fei winced slightly. He'd had a feeling about Heero's lack of relational skills, but had hoped they weren't that bad. Apparently they were. "... and his sense of humor, of course. Is that enough, or should I go on?" Duo asked, still grinning.
"Zechs doesn't have a sense of humor" Wu Fei said." Zechs is just... Zechs." He nearly spat the name out and Duo finally picked up on the bitterness in his voice. He leaned forward across the table. "Wufie, what *is* it with you two? It's obvious you hate Zechs, but I can't for the life of me understand why. What did he ever do to *you?*"
Wu Fei sat, frozen, and frowned into his tea. "It's... personal. But believe me, Duo. That man is no good. You deserve a lot better, and what about Heero?"
Duo's grin faded a bit. "Heero and I - well..." He stopped and stared off at the masses of people moving across the great hall beyond the cafe. "Heero needs help. A lot of help. But I just couldn't be the one to give it any more." Duo looked over at his former colleague. "It just hurt too much. In a lot of different ways, you know?"
Wu Fei considered for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. I know.
There was silence for a few moments, and Wu Fei began to feel that maybe, just maybe, this might be the time to tell someone what had happened between himself and Treize Khushrenada. He had just made up his mind to do it when Duo looked at his watch and stood. "We'd better get going - Zechs is waiting outside. Good thing both of us are small - it's gonna be a cramped ride to the Tower!"
As Wu Fei followed the cheerful American out of the museum, he wondered if what had just happened might not be an omen. An omen to keep quiet.
End of Part 5
(:./kumiko/2road22)
