"How did you find me?" Duo asked. He nervously scrubbed a hand through his short hair--Wu Fei noted that he'd cut it very short, because without that damn braid Duo still looked like a twelve-year old.
"It wasn't easy," the Chinese boy said dryly. "You disappeared pretty thoroughly after the war." Not that it was any wonder Duo had vanished, after betraying them and returning to Colonel Khushrenada's side just in time to see him die at Heero's hands. Wu Fei remembered Duo hurling Deathscythe at Heero Yuy, screaming obscenities on every frequency and sobbing bitterly. And when Heero had beaten back his furious attack, Duo had fled, and no one had ever heard from him since.
Until Wu Fei had gotten an email from a contact he'd thought long dead, tipping him off to the whereabouts of a certain violet-eyed fugitive.
"What are you going to do about it?" Duo asked bravely, raising his chin. "If you're going to kill me, just... not here. There's an old lady who comes by sometimes. I don't want her to see that."
Wu Fei glanced away. "Why would I want to kill you?"
Duo shrugged a little bitterly.
Wu Fei stood and walked to the counter, rifling through Duo's sad collection of foodstuffs. In truth, he'd wondered, as he came, if he *should* kill Duo. The gun that he'd brought felt heavy in the pocket inside his jacket, loaded, ready.
But as soon as he'd seen Duo, he'd known he couldn't do it.
"They never found his body," he said at last, thoughtfully. "Khushrenada's, I mean."
"You never will." Duo was subdued, his momentary courage fled and replaced by wary grief. "Two officers helped me bury him. One is dead and the other would kill himself before he talked. No one will ever find him."
"So you *were* in love with him, like Heero said."
"You knew. I never lied about it."
"No... you just didn't give us any reason to question."
"I gave you reason. You were all cowards. You didn't want to know."
Wufei forgave him that only because he was remembering seeing Shinigami hurtling Death-like toward them in space. Deathscythe's last flight, so far as he knew--the gundam had never been found, but neither had sightings ever been reported. Wu Fei remembered Heero's utter disbelief when Shinigami fired on him, his inablity to comprehend the reaches Duo would go to, to avenge his--lover. His inability to pull the trigger when Duo was the target.
It had all been so unexpected.
Wu Fei finally turned, and told Duo very simply why he had come. "I missed you."
Duo laughed weakly.
"Ah, that's fine," he said finally. "I missed you too. But if you'd really wanted me to come back, you would have found me earlier."
"It wasn't appropriate before." He hesitated. "I know you'd be better off away from us--especially away from Heero."
Duo sighed.
*So--this is where it stands.* But Wu Fei, watching him closely, was satisfied. Duo had, if not forgiven, forgotten. There had been a time when he would have wept and pleaded wretchedly for Wu Fei to stop, babbling lies to protect Heero-the-abuser. Wu Fei was very glad that was past. It had made him sick.
"Treize was always the one you wanted, wasn't he."
"He loved me," Duo said quietly. "Heero needed me. Treize was human, he didn't need any help with that; not like Heero. To hell with him."
"Do you miss him?"
"Which one? Maybe both--sometimes neither." He stabbed his hands deep into his pockets. "Sometimes I don't miss anything, and I can live my life like a normal person."
"Duo--"
"I prefer Darren," the other man said coldly.
"You still think you're someone else now," Wu Fei observed with distaste. It was an issue that had come up once or twice, when Duo would not respond to his name, or had refused to read missions assigned to Shinigami.The others had generally ignored that.
Wu Fei saw the flash of light off tears that sprang to Duo's eyes. "Names make the man," he snapped. "I *chose* this one, same as the last. If you don't approve, go fuck yourself. I don't need your permission to be who I am."
Wu Fei sighed. "Duo--Darren--whichever it is, fine. Pack a bag. We're leaving here."
"No."
"*Yes.* And you're not going to make a scene, or I'll drag you out kicking and screaming."
"Where are you taking me?"
"You'll know when we get there."
"No." Duo set his feet.
Wu Fei glared. "Yes."
"No!"
Two minutes later, Duo nursed a sore wrist as he stuffed clothing into a sack and followed it with a few necessaries. He did not bother to glare at Wu Fei. It had already been proven useless.
He felt the sharp sting of a needle being jabbed into his arm just as he started to turn, and opened his mouth to protest. Then he was falling, and damned if he didn't detect a hint of smug superiority in Wu Fei's aristocratic high-brow...
Wu Fei glanced at the slumbering form of Duo Maxwell as he drove. He still wasn't sure what he should do. Oh, there were options galore--there was still, even after nearly a year, a warrant for Duo's arrest. He could take the ex-pilot to Relena Peacecraft Dorian, who would probably, perhaps justifiably, put Duo in an institution for the insane. He could take Duo to Heero, let Heero, maddened and hating, kill him and take the blame from Wu Fei's hands. He could--tell Maxwell how his heart had skipped a beat when he'd read that email that said he was alive, how all he'd been able to think of was wide violet eyes and quick, long-boned hands.
He could. Maybe he should.
It would clear the air once and for all.
But he couldn't do that, not yet. He wasn't ready. He'd thought he would be, ready to kill, ready to confess, but he wasn't. He had lied to himself again. Maybe he had always lied, when it came to Duo.
///He heard the sounds emerging from the next bedroom and groaned. Heero made more noise than he knew. He threw a pillow over his face and pressed it down, hoping half-heartedly that even if he couldn't block the noise, he could at least smother himself and end the misery.
Then there was a pained yelp, more of a whimper, and Heero irritably commanded Duo to shut up.
"Darren!" Duo told him stubbornly. Wu Fei heard the crack of a palm against a cheek, and winced. The whimper came again.
Wu Fei had concluded reluctantly that the promise Duo had extracted from him--to look the other way in all things--was binding. If it applied to Heero, who had been Duo's lover for months, it definitely applied to Wu Fei, who had only kissed him a few times and engaged in some cautious almost-foreplay. But promising didn't stop him from wishing Heero dead whenever he heard things like that.
He thought about dashing in there, ripping Heero Yuy off of Duo, beating him senseless for hurting the other boy and not even realising it.
He didn't.
Duo cried out again, loud enough to be heard through the house, and a moment of stunned silence afterward was followed by a heavy striking sound. "Baka yaro!" Heero hissed. Hit him again.
"Let me go!"
"Shut up! You'll wake the others."
"Heero, stop--stop! Heero, no, please, please--"
Wu Fei got up, threw open the door and saw Quatre already emerging from his room opposite, wrapped in a bath towel and dripping and furious. The Arabian beat him to the door and jiggled the handle, cursing when he found it locked. "Heero!" he shouted.
Duo was sobbing inside.
Wu Fei pushed Quatre aside, and kicked the door just beside the handle. It cracked thunderously, and when he kicked it again it swung open. Trowa, joining them with some kind of weapon in hand, grimly put his hand on Wu Fei's shoulder, perhaps to restrain him.
Duo shot past them and ran down the hallway, bare feet sliding on tile and his clothing half-undone.
Heero tried to shove past them, intent on following, but Wu Fei, shaking Trowa off, leapt forward and slugged Heero. With an angry growl, Heero grabbed the Shenlong pilot's arm and prepared to punch his lights out. Trowa stopped him. Trowa, implacable.
Quatre made an abortive move to follow Duo, then looked up at Heero coldly. "You'd better be able to explain that."
"It's none of--"
"I'm making it my business!"
Heero suddenly hissed. "He acts like I'm killing him in there! He's the one who wants it all the time, the fucking whore--except he never wants it with me! Whenever I touch him he pulls this panic act! What the hell am I supposed to do?"
"Don't call him a whore!" Wu Fei slapped him. Heero hit him right back. "I'm not going to stand here and fight you for him, Chang! He's mine! He belongs to me!"
"He doesn't belong to anyone," Quatre interrupted frostily. "Get out. Both of you. Heero, don't come back until you're cooled off. Wu Fei, he's right. You're not going to stand here and fight Heero for Duo. Get moving. I don't want to see either of you right now."
Trowa shoved Heero toward the door. Glared at him accusingly with that one contemptuous green eye.
Wu Fei said, "No. No! I won't let Yuy dishonour Duo like that and get away with it! He has a hell of a lot to answer for, and I mean to see that--"
"Shut up!" Duo stood in the hallway again, his face bloody where Heero had hurt him and clutching a coat tight around his trembling body. "All of you!"
"Duo," Quatre said, and started to move toward him.
"Stay away!" Duo shouted. "I'm not one of you! I'll never be one of you. I don't want to be! I'm leaving. Don't follow me. Don't ever, ever follow me!"
Heero sneered. "Where the hell do you think you'll go? Downtown? How far will you get this time, Duo, before you come crawling back?"
"Darren! It's Darren! Fuck you, Heero. Fuck you! Do you hear me? Don't touch me. Don't touch me ever until you can do it without needing me! I'm so fucking tired of being needed." Duo shook, his lips were blue, but it wasn't with external cold. "For sweet Christ's sake just leave me be! You don't love me anymore. You and your needs--sex and love, you need both but I can't do it, not now, maybe not ever. Always looking at me with that question in your eyes--am I better than him? Do you like it with me better than him? Do you still dream about him? Why do you still cry his name when you're with me and why is it always him or you, why can't I have a little piece of me just for myself, Heero, damnit, why can't you just leave me be? God, just *leave-me-be*!"
Shocked silence fell.
Duo swayed, nearly fainting maybe, and steadied himself against a wall. "If you follow me," he said, "I'll kill myself. I don't care anymore. Just leave me be. All of you."
"Duo," Wu Fei said.
Duo ignored him. Maybe didn't hear him. He turned and left.
Forever.///
Wu Fei still dreamt about that, nearly a year later. How Heero, for once, had done as he was told, had not followed, and had had to live with watching Duo Maxwell pilot Deathscythe one last time with one last mission--revenge Treize Khushrenada. On Heero.
Wu Fei drove.
It was a slow job waking up. For a long minute, Duo thought he was in his room in the old creaky cabin--smelled the same, rust and gasoline from the antiquated stove-heater. But no--there was movement. With a monumental effort Duo cracked his eyes open and stared at a dash board.
Truck. He was in a truck.
Too damn tired to care why. He'd been so tired for so long. He didn't bother to conceal his consciousness, as he might have a year ago, just shifted to sit more easily and turned his head, yes, I'm awake, saw Wu Fei grim as ever driving and let his head fall again. So, the Wu-man was kidnapping him. So tired.
Wu Fei reached over and shook him. "Duo?"
Duo set his jaw and didn't reply. Counted the seconds.
Twenty-three. "Darren."
"Yes?"
"How do you feel?"
"What did you give me?"
"It won't hurt you. Are you hungry? Thirsty?"
Duo took an offered canteen and sipped at it, feeling the cool water ease tense muscles in his throat and chest. A bitter after-taste, probably a reaction from whatever drug Wu Fei had doped him up with. It wasn't bad enough to spoil the water. He studied his captor over the rim of the canteen, taking his time both with the water and the scrutiny.
A year had changed Wu Fei a little bit. He was eighteen now, as tall as he'd ever be, but with a little more weight to fill out his slender frame. The sleek black hair was a little longer, and wisps escaped the tight tail carelessly, fluttering about a face that was more planed, more finished somehow than before. He was still one of the most handsome men Duo had ever seen, including Heero.
Black eyes ringed with thick lashes glanced at him, then back to the road. Duo stirred slightly. "Where are we going?" he asked again.
"I told you before. You'll know when we get there."
"Will the others be there?"
"Maybe."
He sighed, and lowered the canteen.
"Don't you think it's time you faced us, anyway?"
"Faced you? For what, a trial?" Duo laughed harshly. "Besides, I thought you didn't want me to come back."
Wu Fei scowled. "That was before. I want you to be our friend, again. We all miss you."
"Don't lie." Duo stared out at the road. "Heero could have found me, if he really loved me--since he didn't even look, he proved he didn't, and by now I assume he's totally purged himself of any feelings he might ever have had for me. Trowa would have accepted my disappearance and forgotten it. Quatre's the only one who'd be worried at all."
"You left me out," Shenlong's pilot said.
Duo looked at him.
Suddenly Wu Fei was agitated. "Well, come on, Duo. What we started, we... never finished, for so many stupid reasons--but did you think *I'd* forget *that*?"
Duo's eyes softened. "What exactly do you want from me?"
It wasn't nearly as hard as he'd thought it would be, swallowing his pride and placing himself in the hands of an admittedly unbalanced boy who'd been known to lie. The time had come again, and the gods rarely gave second chances. He was ready."I want a chance to get to know you. As a friend. As a... lover. If you still want to try."
Quatre, once upon a time, had accused Duo of playing games with Wufei. Duo hadn't been sure himself if that was entirely wrong; that was partly why he'd never pursued the Chinese pilot with any real determination. Well, that and Heero had threatened to kill Wu Fei, really kill him... Duo looked at Wu Fei and didn't know himself what in Hell he should or shouldn't do.
"Wu Fei," he said. "Wu Fei, I just--maybe." He sighed, and looked away. "Lovers... yes, lovers, but... Fei-kun, I need--time."
Wu Fei was clearly elated. Duo saw that. But he at least kept it to himself, kept his eyes on the road, and kept driving.
Duo was just too tired to explain what the other man had misunderstood. He sipped once more from the canteen, and hunched down in his seat. So tired, damn it. He fell asleep curled in on himself like a wounded animal, and his short hair splayed across his face in feathery wisps.
Quatre came out with one or three of his sisters as Wu Fei parked on the long, winding driveway. A wide smile split the young man's face when he saw who his guest was.
"I'm so glad you came," he called warmly, hurrying to grab the door as Wu Fei got out. The two embraced, Quatre eagerly, Wu Fei with only a little awkwardness. The sisters smiled politely.
"Where's Trowa and Heero?" Wu Fei asked, pointing some blank-faced servants to the bags in the bed of the truck.
"Trowa's inside working on dinner. He insisted on overseeing it himself. I think he's got cold feet." Quatre laughed. "And you know Heero. Watching the news."
Wu Fei nodded, smiling slightly. "I hope you don't mind," he said. "I brought a guest."
Quatre's face lit up at the chance to extend his hospitality to someone new. "That's wonderful! In the truck?" He tried to peer inside, but the tinted windows blocked his view.
Wu Fei hesitated, then said quietly, "Quatre. I'm not entirely sure about bringing him... It could be an utter disaster. I don't know. But--well, I was in his neighbourhood, and I just sort of--picked him up, you might say... "
Quatre was obviously on the verge of going mad with curiosity. "Who is it? Wu Fei?"
At that moment, a sleepy murmur floated out of the passenger side of the vehicle. "Why'd we stop?"
Wu Fei walked around to the door, and opened it carefully, shielding Duo from the bright midday sunlight and Quatre's nosy eyes. "How do you feel?" he asked softly.
Duo rubbed his eyes, knocking the stoppered canteen to the seat. "Tired. Just want to sleep."
Wu Fei wondered how much of that statement was the drug he'd given the boy earlier, or the bruised shadows around his sunken violet eyes that betold long restless nights. "We can put you in a bed inside. Can you make it a short walk?"
"If there's a real bed on the other end, yes," Duo said, and sat up. Wu Fei unlocked his safety belt for him, and offered an arm. Duo leaned on him almost naturally as he climbed down from the truck.
He stopped moving when he saw Quatre. He glared at Wu Fei in betrayal. Wu Fei winced inwardly; he knew Duo wasn't ready to face them. But it couldn't be helped, now.
Quatre did not immediately recognise Duo, taller, thinner, unbraided, wearing of all colours white. "Good afternoon," he began politely. "I'm so glad that Wu Fei decided to bring a friend with him to our holiday get-together. My name is Quatre Raberba-Winner. You are?" He held out a slender hand, smiling broadly.
Duo stared at him. After a moment, he lifted his own hand, and Quatre gripped it. Wu Fei saw the exact moment when Quatre realised who he was talking to. The Arabian's eyes grew positively huge, and his grip on Duo's hand tightened convulsively. "Duo," he breathed.
Duo steeled himself.
With a delighted laugh, Quatre threw himself forward and embraced the other boy. "I can't believe it!"
Duo couldn't either, Wu Fei noted. He could almost see the wheels turning--*it can't be this easy*. It wouldn't be--the major hurdle was still waiting inside, parked on a couch with a remote control. But Wu Fei was suddenly, overwhelmingly grateful to Quatre for giving Duo this moment.
Duo.
Duo was back.
Heero watched them coming from the window. He couldn't believe the audacity. Had Quatre known that *he* was coming? He wasn't sure--Quatre had long ago ceased making wistful statements about their missing member. So--not Quatre. It had to be Chang's doing.
He'd never been close to the Chinese boy, most especially after Duo had seduced the pilot and Chang had started making a love-sick nuisance of himself. But this was unthinkable. Duo was the enemy. And here he was, walking up the drive draped over Wu Fei's arm, smiling over at a beaming Quatre, looking as if he belonged, as if he'd never left.
It was wrong.
But unwillingly, his eyes sought out the contours of the distant body, noting the changes, noting the poignantly missing features. He was thinner, far too thin to be healthy. The braid was gone; even the shoulder-length cut he'd had after it was shorn to meet OZ regulations was gone, shorter than his own shaggy hair had once been, before he'd grown it. His face was pale. The trademark manic Maxwell grin was nowhere to be seen.
Heero's mouth twisted. He was looking at *Darren*.
It was all wrong.
Trowa had left the kitchen for a momentary break, and joined him at the window. When he saw the new arrivals, his eyebrow lifted a notch, but he showed no other outward reaction. Heero was rather proud that he'd kept his own face impassive.
"Wu Fei must be out of his mind," Trowa said.
Heero said, "He's not thinking with his mind," and went back to his couch.
Wu Fei hovered protectively over Duo while Heero studiously ignored them both. Duo, for his part, was doing a good job of entirely avoiding that side of the room--occupied too with Relena Peacecraft, one more wrench in the works. Her expression had gotten that singularly righteous cast the moment she'd seen Duo, and Wu Fei had hurried to take her aside. He'd gone to some length to explain to her just how upset he'd be if she did something foolish, like ordering Duo's arrest. He'd impressed it quite thoroughly on her--so thoroughly that she, like Heero, was pretending that neither of them existed.
Quatre was pretending to be oblivious. He chattered about all the things that had gone on in the year they'd been apart; the year without Duo. He avoiding mentioning Heero's engagement, Wu Fei noticed. No point in bringing up old arguments. Personally, Wu Fei thought the Arabian might as well have said it anyway, the way Relena was hanging over Heero. It wasn't as if they were being discreet.
Wu Fei was deleriously happy. They were together again. In the best sense--him, Quatre, Trowa--Duo. He had the family he'd always loved and Heero could take his Peacecraft for target practise.
He returned from a small appetizer buffet with a plateful of selected munchies for Duo. It was curious. He had gone from knowing he should probably kill Duo, to wanting to spend every minute in his presence. He lived to have those amythest eyes turn on him. He wanted to make the thinned lips turn up in a smile.
Quatre watched Wu Fei stare dreamily at Duo. Maybe he shouldn't let it worry him... but, damnit, the Chinese pilot had showed up out of nowhere with a boy who had disappeared entirely for a whole year. And hovered over him like a love-sick puppy. It wasn't that Quatre wasn't glad to see Duo too. Sally, he thought, might be happy as well to see the young man, too, when she arrived tomorrow with the Preventers. But, damnit... Duo had been, and maybe still was, their enemy. And even if he no longer fought against them, the gulf was there, a place where their beliefs diverged--and Duo had a lot of reason to hate them all. He saw Trowa looking at him, concerned, and smiled. Hell. Maybe he was making too much out of it. A lot could change, in a year.
Duo picked listlessly at a cheese-filled pastry. Finally, with a sigh, he shoved the plate away. "I'm full," he said.
Wu Fei frowned. "You barely ate anything."
"Then maybe I'm just not hungry."
Wu Fei announced, "I'll get you some tea. You should have something in your stomach." He rose before Duo could answer and headed back to the table.
Duo's eyes narrowed. When Wu Fei was safely out of hearing range, he got to his feet and unobtrusively slipped out of the room. No one noticed, except Heero.
Who stood and followed.
"You've changed," a monotone, slightly nasal voice said from the doorway.
Duo looked up, and saw Heero's figure reflected in the mirror above the sink. He splashed more water onto his face and didn't answer.
The Japanese pilot had, too. Some of his muscle had run to fat, and he was no longer quite as toned and stocky as he had been. Maybe Relena had put him in a desk job where he couldn't keep fit. She probably didn't want him to do anything that would get him scratched up. Duo had seen the way she'd hung all over him, using every tiny opportunity to mark her possession. Besotted. Duo disliked the shaggy ponytail, too. It wasn't Heero's style. It looked like a dark brown rat's nest with a human head holding it up. The cold eyes were the same, though.
Heero came up behind him, and gripped his shoulder. Hard. "What's going on, *Darren?* Chang show up at your door, sweep you off your feet like a slanty-eyed prince, huh? Bring you here to mock all of us."
"He kidnapped me," Duo retorted flatly. "I didn't have any choice in the matter. If I had, I wouldn't be here."
Grudgingly, Heero admitted to himself that that was probable. Wu Fei could occassionaly be impulsive. It came from all that high-minded nobility. He examined Duo's face in the mirror, eyes narrow. "You're sick," he guessed.
Duo turned off the faucet. "It's none of your business."
"Wu Fei knows?"
"He hasn't asked."
"It's pretty damn obvious." Heero turned Duo to face him, and trailed his fingers heavily over Duo's gray-tinged cheek. The stark cheekbone felt damp and hot under his fingertips. "What is it? 'Flu? Pneumonia?"
"None of your business," Duo said.
Heero's face grew, if anything, colder. "Baka yaro."
Duo suddenly trembled slightly. "Just let me go, Heero. What the hell do you care, anyway?"
"Damn it, stop looking at me like that! I *won't* hurt you." He released Duo and stepped back. "Shit," he muttered.
The other boy turned his face away. "Something tells me you're swimming in it, Heero."
"Damn you."
"Might as well." Duo turned back to the sink and picked up a towel, drying off his face. Suddenly, he seemed to loose his balance, and Heero had to catch him quickly to keep him from slipping to the floor.
"Why the hell aren't you in a hospital, you damn idiot!" he growled. He lifted Duo in his arms, alarmed at how light he was. Duo's eyes fluttered. He had fainted.
Heero *did* care. Suddenly he wanted to crush Duo against his chest, and hold him, and tell him everything would be okay, that they would fix it all, together, and Duo wouldn't... wouldn't run away again, wouldn't leave his life forever again.
But he didn't.
"Shit," he muttered, and carried Duo out of the bathroom.
Quatre, looking for his missing guests, saw Heero carrying Duo out of the hall bathroom, and sprinted ahead to him. "Heero!"
"Where's his room?" Heero demanded brusquely.
"Heero, what's wrong?" He was alarmed by Duo's sudden pallor, and when he pressed his fingers to the fluttering pulse in the boy's neck, he sucked in a breath. "Duo?"
Heero repeated, "Where's his room?"
Shaken, Quatre pointed. "This way." He led the other young man, glancing back frequently. When he reached the door, he found it open, Duo's small bag placed just inside. Heero brushed past him and laid Duo on the bed, grabbing a quilt off a nearby pile and throwing it over him. Quatre felt his forehead, then ran into the bathroom to fetch a glass of cold water. Then he sat, and kept time on Duo's pulse until it began to slow down again.
Duo's eyes opened heavy-lidded. "'m okay now," he mumbled. "You can go. Fine, really."
Quatre grimly stayed where he was, feeling Heero standing in the shadow behind him. "I think I should stay, Duo. You're sick. You should have told me you weren't feeling well." He leaned over and grabbed the bell pull beside the bed, summoning a servant. Duo remained silent while Quatre ordered extra blankets, compresses and teas. When the servant had gone, Quatre stroked Duo's hair and blamed himself for not noticing that anything had been wrong earlier.
Duo blinked slowly, and he stared beyond Quatre to the doorway. "Fei-kun," he whispered.
Quatre turned, and saw Wu Fei standing in the doorway.
The Chinese man frowned. "What's wrong with Duo?" In two energetic strides, he was beside the bed, and knelt to take Duo's hands. "Koibito?" he queried, concern deepening his voice.
Quatre bit his lip. *Koi?* Just how serious were these two? Then he realised he no longer felt Heero's presence. He turned, and couldn't find him.
"Just a little dizziness," Duo sighed. His eyes drifted close, as if he was unable to keep them open suddenly. "I'm fine. It happens when I get too tired."
Without even glancing at Quatre, Wu Fei said, "I'll take care of him now."
Quatre suppressed the brief irritation that tone raised. "Of course," he murmured. "A servant is coming with some blankets, and other stuff. Duo, feel better."
Duo nodded. Quatre stood, and went to the door, but he hesitated on the threshold. He looked back in time to see Wu Fei tenderly kiss Duo on the mouth, then move to fetch fresh water for him.
*Koi*. Quatre shook his head slowly. Then he left to find out what was taking the servant so long. Part 5
///Quatre noticed the difference in the way Duo was treating Wu Fei, and he was very aware that Wu Fei was painfully vulnerable to Duo's advances. He'd been there himself, before--more than once, actually. He was no more immune to Duo's blatant sexuality than anyone else. But he at least recognised the shameless propositioning for what it was. Wu Fei didn't. Quatre thought Wu Fei might be falling in love with Duo. It showed in little ways. Wu Fei watched Duo continuously. Something in his dark eyes changed whenever they lighted on Deathscythe's pilot. Not even Heero got that look in his eyes anymore. Quatre feared the worst.///
That had been a year ago. A year and four months. Quatre sat at the tea table, listening with only half an ear to the recording of a duet he and Trowa had played once, sipping earl grey and worrying. Wu Fei had called Duo *koi*. Did it mean what Quatre feared?
Duo watched Heero leave the room. He sighed. Wu Fei was personally glad to see the Japanese pilot leave. He scooted closer to Duo on the couch as he had not dared to do while Heero was present. Duo turned to look at him. Wu Fei smiled. After a moment, Duo nodded.
"You've been very quiet," he observed. He was nervous as hell, that was why. He wiped his palms on his thighs and continued to smile, rather foolishly.
Duo asked, "Do you like me?"
"Yes," he replied, almost without voice. Duo smiled.
"Would you like me to kiss you?"
" ...yes."
Duo nodded again, and closed the distance between them. He touched Wu Fei's cheek, then leaned in and placed his mouth over the other boy's. It felt nice, but...
"Isn't there something--more?"
"Open your mouth," Duo breathed. Wu Fei obeyed, and felt the tip of Duo's tongue brush over his lower lip before slipping gently inside. It explored his mouth, sliding along Wu Fei's own tongue, tracing the roof of his mouth, squirming against his teeth. That was nicer.
What was nicest was when Duo took Wu Fei's arms, and put them around his slender body, and moved so close to him he could feel the American's rapid heartbeat. A crushing hand latched onto his shoulder and pried him off of Duo. Wu Fei stiffened and turned on the intruder--just as Heero clenched a fist and punched him in the face. Duo gasped and jumped to his feet, grabbing Wu Fei as he toppled to the side, abruptly senseless.
"Heero!"
Heero raised his hand to Duo. The American faltered and flinched back, and for a moment, Heero hesitated.
"What the hell were you doing?" he demanded. Some of the fury had left his eyes, and he lowered his fist, but his voice was cold and deep. Duo held Wu Fei's shoulders tightly as he began to rouse.
"Heero, this isn't really any of your business."
"Not my business?" he said incredulously. "Not my *business*? You're my lover!"
"You promised not to be jealous--"
"I never promised that!"
"Then you promised at least to look the other way," Duo cried.
He hugged Wu Fei close to him, coincidentally preventing the Chinese boy from launching himself at Heero in a fury.
"You owe me that!"
"Why can't you be faithful?" Heero shouted.
"Because you were the one who taught me how to leave the man I love!"
Quatre spoke from the doorway.
"What's all this noise--Heero."
Perhaps confused, he stuttered for a moment, then fully entered.
"I don't mean to be rude, but some of us *are* trying to sleep."
Duo said nothing; Heero stalked out, shaking in silent rage. When he was gone, Wu Fei shook free of Duo's grasp and turned to him.
"Did he hurt you?" he demanded fiercely. Wu Fei had fallen for Duo, rather like a condemned building dynamited from the inside.
"I'm fine," Duo said, and lifted a hand to wipe away the trickle of blood stemming from Wu Fei's newly bruised nose. He seemed troubled. Quatre sighed.
"Go to bed," he said. He met Duo's eyes. "Separate beds," he clarified. Wu Fei blushed deeply, but Duo looked at him expressionlessly.
"Please," the Arabian added.
"Can I talk to you in private?" Duo asked tonelessly. Quatre nodded.
"Good night, Wu Fei." Shenlong's pilot opened his mouth stubbornly, and Quatre hurriedly repeated himself. "Good *night*, Wu Fei."
After a long moment, he nodded. He touched Duo's hand, and left.
"What is it?" Quatre asked the American directly. "You don't need to keep running to my rescue," Duo snapped bitterly. He threw himself onto the couch, and glared up at the blonde pilot. "Mine, or theirs. I can handle it."
"No, as a matter of fact, you can't. If you could, Wu Fei wouldn't be bleeding right now."
Quatre settled on the edge of the coffee table opposite Duo.
"Or maybe that is your version of handling it? Should I say handling Heero? Maybe you *did* know what you were doing, after all." Duo stiffened. His eyes were hurt. Quatre hated having to go on the verbal offensive with Duo. Knowing what he did, knowing what his friend had been through and what it did to him to put himself through it again and again, he still got angry and attacked.
But--Duo had to recognise the consequences of his actions. Quatre resented the times that Duo had come between himself and Trowa, just when they were beginning to find their footing in what might be a good relationship. He resented what Duo did to Heero, however deserved or not.
He resented what he saw Duo doing to Wu Fei, who had no shield against the results. Damnit, he had a right to be angry. And, damnit again, maybe it was true that you couldn't justify everything. "Why Wu Fei?" he asked quietly. "Why not one of the others? Someone who could handle it better, at least? He's fallen in love with you, Duo."
Duo said, "Fuck off, Quatre." Quatre let that pass.
"He's lonely. He doesn't understand. He doesn't see the little games you play. He doesn't understand that you don't really care for him."
Duo paled. "Who says I don't care?"
Quatre sighed. "I didn't mean--"
"I care about all of you!" Duo leapt to his feet and began to pace. "You think it's all or nothing. Well it's never all or nothing, I learned that from Treize and it's true, damn you!" He turned on Quatre.
"Would I be living in hell right now if it was all or nothing? Damn it all, Quatre!"
Quatre tiredly passed a hand over his eyes.
"Tell me what this is all about, Duo. Help me understand. Is it that man, the man who did those things to you--"
"I hate them all," Duo hissed. "Him, Heero, Treize, I hate Wu Fei and the OZ officers I slept with and I even hate you, Quatre, because I slept with you too... I don't know, Quatre. I know I hate... being alone. I hate... missing things that are familiar, and not seeing things I used to know but don't remember the same way. I hate the death. I hate the death, Quatre."
"If you hate sex, then why do you punish yourself?"
"It's no better than I deserve," the violet-eyed pilot muttered. He looked drained suddenly, a little sick, maybe feverish. "I fucked up, Q. I've always had a delicious appreciation of irony. Fuck and be fucked."
Quatre stared blankly at a wall. When he failed to reply, Duo picked up his shoes and left.///
Quatre sighed, and turned off the recording.
Duo woke slowly, becomming aware of himself by parts. He felt his toes first.
Then he felt his chest, wrapped in someone's strong arms; then his back, held close against someone's warmth and heartbeat.
Then he felt his head, tucked beneath someone's chin. He did not open his eyes right away, knowing from experience that that would only produce blinding pain no matter how dim the lighting.
Instead, he concentrated on trying to identify the unfamiliar smell--musky, foreign. Not Treize... he would have known the feel of those long-cold arms even in the worst of his nightmares.
And not Heero... it had been so, so long since Heero had held him like this. A hand brushed softly over his face, tracing his lower lip before tilting his head up.
"Du--Darren? Are you awake?" *Wu Fei.* Duo made a slight noise, and leaned back into the heat of the other pilot's body. Really the last place he'd expected to wake up.
"How do you feel?" the gentle voice continued. Amazing--Duo could feel it rumbling in the muscled chest, thrumming deeply. Drowsily, lulled by that tender touch and comforting resonance, he made another non-committal noise and relaxed.
"Darren? Are you thirsty? Cold? I'll get--"
"No," he managed, grasping the arms when he felt them about to leave. "Stay."
Wu Fei settled back, a smile passing, unknown to Duo, over his face.
"I will," he murmured. *Koi.*
Duo lay within the circle of Wu Fei's arms, feeling really and truly safe for the first time in a long time. Wu Fei would not let anything hurt him. Not the Dragon. There was something wonderful in knowing that. Heero watched from the doorway, hidden by shadow.
Duo looked so small and frail in Wu Fei's arms... so tiny and sick. Heero wondered at the jealously that knotted his chest and choked his breath; the sight of another man holding his Duo. But Duo hadn't been his in a long time. If he ever had been. He rather thought there might have been a time when Duo would gladly have been his, and his alone--but he knew, deep inside, that he had let that time slip past him. He hadn't known yet how much he loved the beautiful boy, how much he needed him. He hadn't been able to understand that it was Duo, too, who made him want to live, not just Relena or her peace as he'd once thought.
But he had missed his chance.
He had waited too long, and fate had cast Duo into the arms of Treize Khushrenada, who had killed the Duo he knew. After Duo had left him, he thought never to reappear, Heero had finally come to terms with what had happened. Duo had loved Treize. It had been beyond his comprehension, but that was as it should be.
Duo had loved Treize, for whatever reason, and he had loved Treize more than he had loved Heero.
More, or maybe just differently.
And Heero, because he had not wanted to understand that before, had ruined his last chance to keep Duo with him forever. That understanding had allowed Heero to accept Relena's offer of engagement. And now... he discovered a large part of him still wanted to be Wu Fei right now, so that he could be the one holding Duo. *Koi... it hasn't been so long that I've forgotten what it's like to have you in my arms and hear your heart beat with mine. The rhythms never matched perfectly, but then, neither did we. It could never be forced, that rhythm, no matter how many nights I lay there while you slept and tried to meet you.
You didn't know, did you, how much I wanted you to know how you were tearing me apart. I thought I could stop you from ever saying the words I didn't want to hear. How was I to know that I'd be forever telling myself exactly what I hated most to hear? You loved him. You loved him.
It didn't matter that you'd loved me, too. I broke the pieces he'd left behind. Koi... I never stopped loving you. I wish to God you knew that.*
Relena touched his arm.
"Heero?" He looked down at her.
"What are you doing here?"
"I came up to check on Duo." She peered into the room. Her eyes widened when she saw Wu Fei gently bathing the dozing boy's face with a damp cloth.
"Is he all right?"
"Quatre says he slept the night through."
Looking worried, she said, "Maybe he should be in a hospital. I don't think he looks well."
He looked down at her. "I thought you wanted him arrested."
Eyes sad, she shook her head. "You misunderstood, my love." She sighed, troubled; her hair fell across her eyes, hiding them from her fiancé. "He was the last casualty of the war, Heero."
He stared down at the woman who was to be his wife, and gently tipped her face up. When she met his eyes, a little startled, his expression softened.
"Thank you," he said. Relena smiled, and touched his cheek.
"I love you," she whispered. He kissed her.
"I love you, too, Relena."
End Part 3
(:./erin/still3)
