NOTE: This commentary is a companion piece to The Drums of Heaven. If you haven't read that series, much of this may not make sense. This particular commentary isn't attached to a specific chapter, but is a bit free-form, since I really haven't let the characters chat in the original framework for the past ten or so chapters... so we'll do this one as coverage for chapters 10 to 22, for the most part, and maybe pick back up once I've done 23. Or something. Anyway, without further ado, I'll let Mister Mouth take over from here.
Duo: Hunh?
Quatre: Zef, you'd better not mean me.
Zefyr: Woot. Sure do.
Trowa: Hmm. It's appropriate.
Quatre: Grrrr. Anyway, this commentary is going to be a question-and-answer period. We've been noticing the reviewers have had some issues with the story so far, so we thought we could put some things to rest. Wufei, what's the first question?
Wufei: The first question was from Dyna, back in the first or second chapter.
Heero: We're starting that far back?
Quatre: Why not? Where better to start?
Heero: Oh. Hn. Good point.
Wufei: Dyna asked: "I'm eagerly waiting to hear the explanation for Duo and Trowa's behavior. There has to be an explanation, right? Something to do with Hilde maybe?"
Hilde: Dyna, for starters, Trowa and Duo are boys. They may look like 21 year olds, but I assure you, they're really still 8.
Relena: That's your idea of answering the question?
Hilde: I'm not done! Anyway, yes, Dyna, there's an explanation.
Duo: Too bad you had to wait until chapter 23, though.
Zefyr: Chapter 24.
Duo: What? Another chapter of waiting?
Quatre: But before we get off topic, yes, Dyna, you're right. It has something to do with Hilde.
Trowa: ....
Heero: ....
Zefyr: ....
Duo: That's your idea of an answer? Helpful.
Quatre: Diplomacy 101. Answer with non-answers.
Relena: Have I told you recently that you can be a smug bastard sometimes?
Quatre: You love me for it, babe.
Relena: I think you're possessed by Duo.
Duo: Hey. Watch it, or I'll get Kiya Sama to write that sex scene for us.
Relena: I'm going to kill you, Duo Maxwell.
Heero: Get in line.
Quatre: Next question!
Wufei: *cough* Crimson said, "I just can't wait to find out why Duo's especially nasty towards him!"
Heero: That's not a question.
Duo: No, it's more of an exclamation.
Trowa: It implies a question, however.
Duo: Well, we found out already, so let's move along.
Trowa: We partially found out. It's Duo's separation anxiety, Crimson.
Duo: I do not have separation anxiety.
Heero: Oh, so that time I had the three-month mission undercover and you went to bed every night with---
Duo: I said, I do not have separation anxiety. I miss people, but I do not have separation anxiety.
Heero: Riiiiiight.
Duo: Heero? Shut up.
Heero: Heh.
Quatre: *sigh* Next question?
Wufei: Nlp says: "We just love seeing our boys become estranged in some way now don't we?"
Heero: What kind of question is that?
Duo: One that ends with a question mark, I'd say.
Wufei: Smartass.
Duo: Oh, you love it.
Hilde: Break it up, boys. Nlp, I'd like to go on record and say that as a matter of fact, those of us actually involved in the situation do not love seeing our boys estranged in any way, shape or form.
Relena: We prefer happy endings.
Hilde: And happy middles and beginnings, too.
Trowa: What they said.
Wufei: Makes for a boring story, however, so I encourage our boys being miserable. Especially if it's a particular idiot, in which case---
Duo: Where'd that baseball bat go?
Trowa: Wufei! Duck!
***CRASH***
Wufei: Hey!
Quatre: I've got it. Duo, sit down. Wufei, shut up.
Duo: Hmph.
Trowa: Next question is... let's see. Zefyr's handwriting hasn't improved. Another one from Crimson.
Wufei: Pesky reviewer.
Zefyr: Wufei, enough already. I like Crimson's reviews.
Wufei: You like everyone's reviews.
Zefyr: I'm easy that way.
Trowa: *cough* Crimson says: "Are Duo and the rest of the crew being monitored or something?"
Relena: Yes, Crimson, they are. Heero finds the bugs in chapter... oh, drat. Does anyone remember?
Duo: I'd look it up, but Rat still has the script.
Hilde: Anyway, yes, Crimson, there are bugs, and the syndicate's listening. But if you read the conversation between Pops and Heero closely, you'll see they can't pick up everything. They caught Trowa's comments, but they didn't hear Duo's whispers when Heero was putting him to bed.
Duo: Yeah, and the screams later were edited out.
Heero: ....
Duo: Heheh. Outtakes!
Quatre: So that was on purpose? Oh. I thought that was a plot-hole on Zefyr's part.
Zefyr: Hey!
Quatre: Well, I did.
Relena: I have to agree.
Zefyr: See if I give either of you kick-ass scenes. I don't do plot-holes.
Hilde: Please, don't insult the author. Next question!
Trowa: Kiya Sama had a question after chapter 7. She says: "I am assuming that this is supposed to be a story where Duo and Heero eventually figure out that they have feelings for each other, ne? When the hell is it going to happen?!"
Quatre: Kiya, believe me, we're just as anxious as you for the hormones to settle down.
Heero: For that matter, we could ask the same of you. Your story's had us kiss – barely! - and now you're introducing some chick from Duo's past, right after you had Relena proposition him?
Relena: I'd like to publicly state that Kiya and I had a few words about this privately.
Duo: Yeah, I bet I know what those words were.
Relena: Here, Duo, they're printed out in little letters on my knuckles. How about you come close and I'll bring them right up under your nose so you can ---
Quatre: Relena-sama, you have been hanging with Dorothy way too long.
Wufei: Don't stop her, Quatre, she was on a roll.
Duo: Fine, girl, you and me, in the hallway. We're taking this outside---
Relena: Hah! In your dreams!
Quatre: SEPARATE CORNERS!
Heero: I was waiting for that.
Duo: Bit---
Relena: Bas---
Quatre: NOW!
Trowa: So the next question is from Nlp, who says: "Gee, Hilde sure is bossy ain't she?"
Hilde: That was a specific request. I was tired of being the barely-seen girlfriend, long-suffering best friend, or random plot device whose marriage, breakup, or business gets Duo in, out, on, off, or under various plot twists.
Heero: Excuse me?
Hilde: Oh, you know. The "Hilde made a move on Duo and Duo freaked so now Duo is back on Earth," or the "Hilde and Duo are getting married so now Duo's on L1" or the "Hilde's getting married so Duo has to go back to L2".
Quatre: You're a Convenient Plot Device.
Relena: But a cute one.
Hilde: Thanks. I guess. Anyway, yes, I told Zefyr before hand, when we were doing the contracts, that I want more of a role. Something meaty, y'know. Nothing requiring too much makeup, either.
Zefyr: And leather. She wanted leather, too.
Hilde: We compromised. Black leather, and I agreed to wear the heels when dancing.
Zefyr: I like short girls in high heels.
Wufei: I'm with Zefyr. But not in that way. Just about the whole girls in heels thing.
Zefyr: Thanks. I guess. But girls in heels, especially when they're wearing really short dresses.
Heero: You'd fit in great in Japan.
Zefyr: Except that I can't stand those droopy socks and penny loafers, or plaid --- Hey. We are not discussing my kinks, we're discussing yours. Sheesh.
Heero: I don't have any kinks.
Duo: Oh, yeah? I could ---- mmmphff!
Quatre: Moving right along.
Trowa: Taigne says: "What's Heero done to get Duo so angry at him, except infiltrate their rather shadowy business I suppose."
Heero: That's not a question.
Wufei: It's an implied question.
Trowa: That's my line.
Quatre: Err, stop, or we'll be out of corners soon enough. Anyway, Taigne, yes, part of it's for the infiltration. But as you probably found in later chapters, there's also that whole leaving issue. Duo having this separ---
Duo: Don't say it!
Quatre: ---ate issue about being abandoned, after a childhood in gangs.
Heero: Good save.
Relena: He is a diplomat, after all.
Duo: Hmph.
Quatre: And, Taigne, the question is raised in chapters 21 or 22 about the fact that being protected doesn't do much for a person who's trying to fight.
Hilde: That's your reason for hating a bunch of fanfictions, isn't it, Quatre?
Quatre: Absolutely. I can only take so much of being portrayed as a ditzy nimwit.
Trowa: You're not one.
Quatre: Still, being written that way gets old. I'm considering getting Anne's Summer Showers bronzed for posterity.
Trowa: Even if it is funny thinking of someone from the desert standing in the rain.
Quatre: Who better?
Wufei: That bugs me. Quatre's from a colony, just like the rest of us. Our cultural backgrounds are not necessarily indicative of who we are now.
Trowa: Except for you, Wufei, being from a predominantly Chinese cultural colony.
Quatre: Next question? Zefyr's got another chapter to write for Into These Hills before we'll get chapter 23, so we can't make this take too long.
Hilde: It wouldn't have taken this long if Zef hadn't spent all day jonesing for a cigarette.
Zefyr: Hey.
Hilde: It's true, and you know it. Not my problem you quit when you left for Oregon.
Zefyr: I said I'd quit. I didn't say I'd be nice about it.
Wufei: You're weak for having started back up again.
Zefyr: I was having a bad day!
Heero: More like a bad week!
Zefyr: I did quit again! Stop giving me grief about it!
Relena: Zef, no, really, we're proud of you. We didn't like you smelling like an ashtray.
Zefyr: Oh, great. Now I'm being reassured by fictional characters.
Duo: For a diplomat, Rel, you suck at reassurance. Now Zef's gonna be all paranoid about being icky to be around for a week's worth of backsliding.
Zefyr: *sniffle*
Quatre: NEXT QUESTION!
Trowa: ....
Quatre: Please.
Trowa: Kiya Sama wanted to know, after the dance: "How dare she slap Heero when it looked like she was clearly enjoying it or was that some kind of act?" Also something about whether Heero did that on purpose.
Hilde: Yes to enjoying the dance, no to some kind of act.
Heero: And no to doing it on purpose.
Hilde: And yes to doing it on purpose.
Heero: Hn.
Quatre: Tie-breaker? Zef?
Zefyr: Uh... I dunno. Don't bother me. I'm eating pretzels.
Relena: Here, have a twizzler.
Zefyr: Thanks... Eww.
Duo: You're not supposed to LIGHT it!
Zefyr: Habit. Sorry.
Heero: Sheesh. Okay, let's ignore the author.
Zefyr: Hey!
Quatre: So did we answer that last question?
Trowa: I'm not sure.
Wufei: Close enough.
Hilde: Well, remember, Duo and I are supposed to be best friends, so once I saw him looking at us while dancing, naturally ---
Duo: Supposed to be? What is this, Beat Up On Duo night?
Heero: No, that's later.
Duo: Okay... but only if you tie me down first.
Heero: You wish.
Duo: Hell yeah.
Trowa: Crimson also asks: "Are the avatars going to show up in person in the story?"
Quatre: According to our sources, Crimson, the chances are rather slim. But we'll let you know if the author's notes indicate otherwise, okay?
Trowa: From CinC: "Heero has a long way to go before he discover all the answer to his question, does he? Sometime I wish he would just up and asked Duo or the other but then that would destroy the story, right?"
Wufei: First question: Heero has a long way to go. Period.
Heero: Hn.
Wufei: Seriously, the plotline is actually very thick. The story is maybe halfway through, give or take a few chapters.
Zefyr: I think.
Wufei: Zefyr thinks. So, yeah, that would mean a long way to go.
Quatre: And CinC, if Heero were to ask any question, it's only at chapter 22 that Duo might even answer. So it wouldn't have destroyed the story per se, but it might not have resolved anything.
Heero: And at this point, the answers might not answer everything, anyway.
Relena: Zefyr's got this whole thing of every answer creating ten questions.
Zefyr: Thanks. I pride myself on that.
Relena: Well, don't. It's aggravating.
Duo: Holy shit. I think I just agreed with Relena.
Heero: ....
Duo: Hehe.
Trowa: Another question from Kiya Sama: "Did I forget to mention that I LOVE a jealous Heero?"
Heero: Geez.
Hilde: More character abuse! That woman just abuses us all. I don't know why Zefyr puts up with her.
Zefyr: Kiya's a great beta reader. So is Calic0Cat, actually. They're both awesome.
Duo: They're both abusive authors who make a point of torturing us on a regular basis. I still haven't gotten a lemon in either of their stories!
Wufei: Have an orange, Monkey Boy.
Duo: Wufei, I swear ---
Heero: Duo, shut up. Want some help?
Duo: What --- mmmphffff. Oh. Mmmm...
Wufei: Get a room, you two!
Trowa: Reb asks, "how many people have ever heard of Rumi?"
Relena: I have.
Quatre: I have.
Trowa: Me also.
Wufei: Uhm... vaguely.
Hilde: He's, uh... what was the name again?
Zefyr: I have. Obviously.
Duo: What was the question?
Heero: I've heard of him.
Quatre: So, Reb, to answer your question, five people have for certain, one possibly, and two people are just confused.
Trowa: Lindsey asks: "Please let Duo not be a mean bastard and let them hook up, please?"
Hilde: Lindsey, remember what we were saying about the whole abuse-the-characters? You just keep that in mind...
Duo: Damn it, I WILL get a lemon!
Zefyr: Sure. No problem.
Duo: ....
Heero: ....
Hilde: ....
Zefyr: Oh, wait, you mean with Heero? Oh. Hm. In that case... nope.
Duo: That's it. I'm killing the author.
Trowa: Heero ---
Zefyr: Ow!---
Heero: Got him, shit, no, Wufei---
Duo: Hey! Damn it, hold---
Zefyr: Eep---
Wufei: Zef, stop---
Trowa: Hey! Would you two---
Heero: Duo, if you want sex again---
Duo: I want a---
Zefyr: Get offa---
Quatre: I got the braid---
Duo: Shit!
Quatre: I don't got the braid---
Heero: Here, take Zef---
Wufei: Got---
Trowa: Ow---
Relena: Popcorn?
Hilde: Lovely.
Zefyr: Get yer hands---
Duo: Gimme that bat---
Heero: DUO!
Trowa: Zef, put that---
Quatre: Ahem. Okay, we had a bunch more questions to cover, but maybe we'll do those in the next chapter. First we have to --- HEY! Watch the microphone, people! --- put some ice on Zefyr's head and --- OW! Duo! --- beat the shit out of Duo for giving Zefyr a concussion --- Zefyr, the mike stand is NOT a weapon --- and figure out how to separate ---
--- END TRANSMISSION ---
A day later...
--- BEGIN TRANSMISSION ---
Duo: Quatre, you really need to pay attention. You quoted Anne's story title wrong.
Quatre: I did?
Duo: It's Sudden Showers, not Summer Showers. Geez!
Quatre: Don't blame me. I just recorded this session. Who transcribed it?
Hilde: What? Did what?
Quatre: Transcribed it!
Hilde: Duo did.
Quatre: Unh-hunh.
Duo: Uh... Hey, Q-man, really, I was just teas---
--- END TRANSMISSION ---
End Part 12
(:./sol/behind12)
