22 Aug 2003
Title: Exposé
Author: WingNut (wingnut629@yahoo.ca)
Archive: Gundam Wing Addiction; anywhere else, please ask
Category: fluff, humour, lemon-lime
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: gratuitous lemons and limes, silliness, some pilot stereotyping
Spoilers: none
Disclaimers: I don't own the characters from Gundam Wing; Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu do. This is a work of non-profit fanfiction. I also do not own the rights to the Speedo name or brand.
Quatre nervously accompanied Trowa down the hallway leading to the swimming pool. Both were clad in the fluffy white housecoats provided by the hotel, and both were carrying towels. Quatre was carrying two, just in case. He didn't trust the Speedo not to tear maliciously at the wrong moment.
He was excruciatingly aware of the four photographers not-so-surreptitiously following them. He supposed he should be pleased that that part of the plan was working.
He had timed this little excursion very carefully. The convention meeting rooms, the various connected restaurants, and the hallways were public areas and open to the press, but all other parts of the hotel were supposed to be for guests only. Of course, the paparazzi were annoyingly persistent about ignoring that rule, but Quatre had ascertained the Preventers' security schedule. There was a patrol due to sweep the pool area in approximately 15 minutes. That would give the press just enough time to take their pictures before being forced to leave.
But even the knowledge that he had done what he could to control this uncontrollable situation wasn't enough to settle the butterflies in his stomach.
This is stupid, he lectured himself. You defied Father and conventional society to pilot Sandrock during the war, and now you're worried about what other people will think? Of course, fighting the war was important, whereas this feels more like showing off for no good reason.
Quatre glanced at his lover, calmly striding along beside him. Trowa didn't have any problems at all revealing a little skin while in public; he did it all the time performing at the circus. If Trowa could do that, while wearing some of the oddest outfits Quatre had ever seen, surely he, Quatre, could manage to walk casually around a pool a couple of times wearing a perfectly normal swimsuit.
Right. He could do this. It was an unexceptional thing to do, and he could do it.
But probably not without blushing ten shades of red.
Damnit.
Trowa glanced at Quatre's set expression and nearly smiled. His partner was a clever negotiator, an unfailingly polite host, a blazingly intelligent businessman, a compassionate champion of charitable causes, and an passionate lover, all wrapped up in one slender, sexy body, but he had some odd insecurities. Right now he looked more like a man on the way to his execution than one anticipating a refreshing swim before dinner.
Hopefully, Trowa's last-minute addition to the plan would help Quatre feel a little more comfortable.
Trowa pushed open the frosted glass door to the pool area and motioned his lover in ahead of him. With a slightly strained smile, Quatre slipped past him onto the tiled deck. There was a moment's surprised silence, and then...
"Duo!? What are you...?"
"Hey, Q-ball!" Duo's cheerful voice bounced off the walls. "Tro called and said you guys were going swimming and invited me an' Heero along since we weren't on duty. Y'know," he continued at an only slightly lower volume, "he actually said, 'The more the merrier' which is soooo not a Trowa thing to say. Is he feelin' all right, or has he been replaced by a pod-person?"
Quatre chuckled at that, shooting his lover a grateful look, and Trowa relaxed a little. He looked around, sizing up the situation as he removed his robe and draped it over the back of a chair, setting the towel on top.
Zechs was swimming strongly in the lap pool, while Noin, her hair still wet and looking rather hugely pregnant, was arranging herself comfortably on one of the deck lounges. She waved, and Trowa nodded back with a little smile. He liked Noin. She was level-headed, and wouldn't be likely to embarrass Quatre with suggestive looks or comments.
Heero was floating in the deep end of the main pool, holding himself in place by resting his arms on the deck by Duo's feet. Duo was still talking, waving his arms around and grinning, and Quatre was smiling as he removed his housecoat with only the slightest hesitation. The blond didn't look toward the photographers who had followed them in, though Trowa could tell by the tension in his stance that he was very aware of them.
Luckily the paparazzi were keeping their distance and using telephoto lenses to get their shots, otherwise Trowa would be forced to physically remind them that anyone entering the pool area should be prepared to go for a swim.
The situation looked under control. He smiled as he joined his lover and their friends. It was going to be fine.
Quatre smiled at Duo's outrageous story of the breakfast on the patio, the neighbourhood cat, and the omelette that wouldn't stay on its plate. He was painfully aware that he would normally be laughing, but he was too conscious of the clicking camera shutters on the other side of the pool to properly appreciate the humour.
He tried to keep his pose relaxed, his expression open and amused, hoping he didn't look as awkward as he felt. It's nothing out of the ordinary, he reminded himself, we're just a couple of friends hanging around the pool together in our excruciatingly tiny swimsuits...
He wasn't sure if it was something Trowa had arranged or not, but from what he could see, Zechs, Duo and Heero were all wearing suits just as small and tight as his, and they didn't seem at all perturbed. Maybe it *was* perfectly normal...
Trowa approached, and Quatre felt a more natural smile forming on his face. His lover looked great, sculpted and sexy and... Quatre cut off that line of thought abruptly as he felt a stirring of interest in his body - this was definitely not an appropriate time to get an erection. Luckily, the flood of humiliation he felt at the thought of having pictures like that published for all to see solved the rising problem.
How much longer? Surely they had been there an hour already...
Trowa smiled at him meaningfully, and sauntered over to the springboard. Quatre's eyes widened. He'd managed to avoid embarrassing himself a moment ago, but if Trowa were going to be diving... Oh Allah, think of something else!
He tried to pay attention to what Duo was saying, but the thwack of the diving board as Trowa launched himself distracted him and he turned to look automatically. Trowa was strength and grace personified, twisting his long, muscled body around to dive into the water with scarcely a splash. He turned the momentum of his entry into an underwater glide, surfacing at the ladder. He emerged, sleek and wet and...
Quatre hastily turned his back on the photographers and tried to think non-arousing thoughts. He finally got himself under control again, vowing to just ignore his lover's teasing.
He tried desperately to focus on Duo's story, but his eyes slid sideways every time Trowa took off, lingering on that gorgeous form until it hit the water. Then he would jerk his gaze back to Duo and try to look nonchalant.
Duo was no fool though, and the little grin that crept onto the braided man's face as he worked out what was going on was rather alarming.
"You all right, Quat?" Duo finally asked, touching his arm. "You look all flushed. Maybe you're too hot!" Duo suddenly grabbed him by both arms and shoved.
Quatre, too distracted by lascivious images of a lithe and wet Trowa to react in time, found himself abruptly thrown into the deep end of the pool. The water was cool, which helped clear his mind and steady his body. He headed for the nearest ladder, pulling himself out in one smooth movement.
"Duo, that wasn't very kind," he said, walking towards his friend with a wide smile.
"What? You looked like you were thinking too hard, Quatre, and you're supposed to be chillin' here." Duo grinned cheekily at him.
Quatre's smile widened further as he took in the positioning of the other people in the area. "But there are some thoughts that I don't *want* interrupted," he replied, adding just a hint of menace to his posture as he stalked forward.
As Quatre anticipated, Duo danced backward as he approached. This put the braided man conveniently within range of Trowa, who had just come up the ladder behind him. Tro put out one hand and casually deflected Duo sideways; Duo fell into the pool with a loud yell and a terrific splash.
"Thank you, Trowa," Quatre smiled happily.
"You're welcome, Quatre," Trowa replied, before lifting Quatre right off his feet and throwing him in beside Duo.
A moment later Duo and Quatre had climbed out on either end of the pool, trapping Trowa between them, and managed to push him into the water as well. Heero joined the fray by pulling Duo in by his braid, and the next few minutes were filled with shouts of laughter and dismay as each of the four friends tried to be the last one standing on the deck.
Quatre and Tro had just thrown a wildly protesting Duo in, when Heero surged up out of the water right beside them, seized Trowa's ankles, and heaved. Quatre leaped backwards to avoid the same fate as his lover went flying headlong into the pool.
"Ah, I see you understand the value of a strategic retreat," said an amused voice.
Quatre whirled. "Wufei!" His friend was dressed in full Preventer gear, and Quatre realized that relief was at hand. The rush of gratitude he felt was closely followed by surprise - he had actually forgotten about the photographers for a few minutes.
He smiled with genuine good humour as he saw Sally on the other side of the pool, herding the balking reporters out into the hallway and closing the door firmly behind them. He turned the smile back to Wufei. "I didn't expect you to be on this patrol."
"I didn't either, but Dorothy volunteered us. She said she didn't think Mica and Sleet would be able to handle the troublemakers at the pool." Wufei smirked. "I thought she meant the press until I saw Duo."
"Well, thank you for driving off the paparazzi. I know I should just ignore them, but..." Quatre shrugged shamefacedly. "At least now I'll be able to relax and enjoy myself without worrying about every little movement being captured on film." Especially since I'm sure they've already taken enough pictures to prove my point, he added to himself.
Wufei snorted. "They are unworthy of your notice, Quatre; I've heard of the harassment they've subjected you to. But as far as the security report goes, may I assume that you are not actually killing one other?"
Quatre chuckled. "No, it just sounds that way."
"Good. It's been a long shift and I really don't want to have to resuscitate anyone."
"I understand. We'll try to keep it dow-"
"BANZAIIIII!!!" The splash from Duo's cannonball rose in a precisely calculated arc, drenching the two of them.
Quatre didn't dare look into Wufei's face for fear he would burst out laughing. And then, of course, he would die a very messy and painful death.
There was a short silence, broken only by the sound of water pattering gently off a sodden uniform.
Wufei turned to his partner and said in a tone of careful neutrality, "Our shift ends... when?"
Her voice wavering suspiciously, Sally replied, "Right about now, I'd say."
"Good." Wufei began peeling off his wet uniform.
Sally approached cautiously to take her partner's weapons and radio for safekeeping. "I'll just patrol along the sides and make sure that no poor unsuspecting hotel guest wanders into the crossfire," she said, her lips twitching.
"That would be wise," Quatre said gratefully. "Thanks, Sally." He was pleased to note that he didn't even blush when Sally glanced at him. With the departure of the cameras, he was feeling much more confident and happy. Perhaps he would survive this experience after all.
He had thought originally that he would leave the pool immediately after the photographers did, but now that they were gone, he was actually enjoying himself. And besides, he couldn't let Duo get away with soaking him and Wufei, now, could he?
Wufei was now wearing only white boxer-briefs and a rather evil little grin. Quatre felt his own lips stretching into a similar expression. "You go left, I'll go right?" he suggested.
"And we'll meet Duo in the middle," Wufei agreed, and dove cleanly into the water.
Quatre sat on the side of the pool, dangling his lower legs in the water and laughing as he watched Wufei dunk Duo yet again. Trowa was stalking Wufei, apparently oblivious to the fact that he was about to get pounced by Heero.
Quatre was feeling fine. He had never participated in a waterfight before. They were really quite exhilarating.
All in all, he was feeling great. All his worries about the photographers were gone. His suit hadn't fallen off, he hadn't gotten an erection at the wrong moment, and he was pretty sure that the one mortified flush he had felt when he had first taken off his robe would probably be attributed to the warmth of the room.
He had faced his fear and conquered it. Really, what had he been so worried about? He felt powerful, carefree, and - he intercepted another smouldering look from Trowa - downright sexy.
Trowa swam over to him, and Quatre admired the way his lean body cut through the water. Perhaps he would suggest that they retire to their rooms, and help each other out of their suits...
He became aware of another presence at his back, and looked up to see Zechs looming over him. The tall blond nodded a greeting, then dropped to one knee on the deck beside him and caught Trowa's attention as the acrobat surfaced in front of them. "Excuse me, Trowa, but I've been meaning to talk to you about the possibility of the circus touring the Mars colony. Now that we have the high-speed shuttle service running..."
Quatre let his mind wander as Trowa discussed ways and means and money with Zechs. He leaned back on his elbows, swirling his feet through the cool water, and watched his lover. Handsome face, supple neck, broad shoulders, gorgeous chiselled chest...
He smiled to himself. What a good thing there were no photographers here to catch him drooling over the attractive young man in front of him.
Two attractive young men, he corrected idly, noting the firm body crouched beside him on the deck. >From well-muscled shoulders to trim waist to taut backside to strong legs, it was clear that Zechs had lost none of the physical conditioning he'd had in the military.
Quatre felt a little grin tugging at his lips as he wondered if the Lightning Count's legendary reflexes had diminished any in the intervening years.
Really, it would be rather rude to test the theory. But they were all friends here, and a little horseplay was acceptable between friends, wasn't it? They were in private, after all. And Quatre was feeling somewhat boldly adventurous after his conquest of photographic paranoia.
Besides, it was sooooo tempting.
Before he could think about it too much further, he reached out and gave Zechs a healthy pinch on the derriere.
Wow, he thought, impressed. Six feet at least from a standing start - that's pretty good. And he makes an even bigger splash than Duo!
He heard Trowa's quiet sputter of laughter behind him as he slipped back into the water and darted away, feeling absurdly pleased with himself. He was getting past all sorts of silly societal barriers today.
Trowa kept a careful eye on Quatre. Although he was a firm believer in a little anticipation being a fine aphrodisiac, and while it had been quite amusing to see Quatre's unusually bold behaviour with Zechs, he was more than ready to go back upstairs. He had been watching his lover cavort around in that sexy suit long enough - he wanted to strip it off him and ravish him. Repeatedly.
The waterfight looked like it might finally be winding down. Zechs had joined in with enthusiasm, seemingly not at all discomposed by his abrupt inclusion. His presence had evened out the numbers, and they found themselves naturally grouping into two teams - Quatre, Trowa and Wufei against Duo, Heero and Zechs. The 'good guys' had had to work hard to avoid being overwhelmed by the other three.
Now, laughter and exertion had taken their toll, and Quatre was backstroking out into deeper water, apparently to catch his breath. Trowa followed, surfacing beside him.
"The photographers are all gone," he said, wrapping his arms around his lover.
"Ye-es, and...?" Quatre said teasingly, turning in place.
"And so there's no one to take notice if I kiss you," Trowa said, leaning down toward that delicious mouth.
"*I'll* notice," Quatre assured him, lifting his face.
Quatre melted into the kiss. This was perfection; the gentle touch of Trowa's mouth on his, the cool swirl of water around his body, the roving hands exploring at his hips.
But Trowa hadn't moved his arms, so how...?
Quatre gasped and cried out as the foreign hands pulled downwards abruptly, peeling his suit down his legs and jerking his feet out from under him. Finding himself abruptly underwater, he could just make out Zechs grinning triumphantly over his shoulder as he arrowed away, clutching Quatre's Speedo.
There would be no help from Trowa, Quatre realized. His lover was engaged in a similar struggle with Heero, although the acrobat had the sense to hook his ankles together before Heero managed to pull the suit all the way off. Quatre set off in pursuit of Zechs, noting in passing that Trowa seemed intent on proving the old adage about the best defence being a good offence - he already had Heero's suit down to the knees.
Duo was laughing hysterically as he headed for the shallow end of the pool, waving Wufei's underwear in one hand like a truce flag. "C'mon Heero, everyone else has accomplished the mission I set them! Don't let Pretzel-boy defeat you!"
Wufei torpedoed out of the water and tackled Duo. They disappeared in a cloud of flailing limbs and splashing water.
Quatre managed to catch up to Zechs, cornering him in the deep end. He tried several times to leap up and grab his suit, but Zechs merely held his hand up, using his longer arms to keep the prize out of reach. Quatre thought of bracing one hand on Zechs' shoulder for extra height, but he didn't want to lift his hips free of the concealing water. He wasn't past every societal barrier, after all.
"Give up, Quatre, you're not getting it," Zechs taunted, grinning in great good humour.
"I'm gay, Zechs. I really don't mind jumping up against you like this," Quatre retorted, panting slightly as he prepared for another assault.
Zechs snorted with laughter, his face flushing a little. "You know what the interesting thing about Speedos is?" he said, switching the suit rapidly from one hand to the other high above his head to foil his attacker. "They're stretchy."
Quatre made a desperate but unsuccessful snatch as Zechs hooked a finger into either side of the captive suit and pulled his hands apart. The release of one finger fired the Speedo like an elastic out onto the deck, landing with a sodden slap near Sally's feet.
"Lose something, Quatre?" she said, smiling broadly.
Quatre swam to the edge of the pool.
"Uh... would you mind, Sally?" he replied, holding out his hand.
"Not at all, Quatre," she said, sweeping her arm out in invitation. "Come and get it."
"Salleeeeeeee!"
Sally raised an eyebrow. "What? I'm a doctor, Quatre, it's not like I haven't seen anything similar before." Her smile widened into a grin. "Besides, I've repeatedly turned back those photographers that keep trying to sneak back in here; don't I deserve some sort of reward?"
"I'll send you a gift certificate!" Quatre replied tartly. Then he turned a pleading expression on Noin.
She shook her head. "I'm pregnant and tired, Quatre. I'm not getting up unless my lounge catches fire."
Zechs chuckled. Quatre huffed in exasperation and looked around.
Trowa and Heero had stopped wrestling and appeared to have come to a deadlock. They were circling each other with tight grins on their faces, each with one hand out and ready to grab, the other hand clutching their own suits possessively to their hips.
Wufei and Duo were literally hidden in frothing spray, with only the occasional loud exclamation from Duo to mark their slow progress back into deeper water.
"Ohhhhh! All right!" Quatre threw his hands up, then turned to glare warningly at Zechs. "But I'm going to get you for this!"
"You already did," Zechs retorted, making a show of rubbing his rear. Well, he had a good point there, Quatre had to admit.
OK. You can do this, he told himself. Just get out quickly, grab a towel and then the suit. The other guys are all involved in their own battles, they won't notice. He looked around carefully. No reporters. No photographers. Just Noin and Sally. Friends.
Female friends.
Wait a second, female friends who were currently sitting on *all* the towels.
He could understand Noin hogging them - he had learned from his sisters that pregnant women often braced their lower backs with blankets and pillows. But Sally!? While he had been gathering up his courage, she had been gathering up the remaining towels. She had put them on a chair, and was now parked on top of the whole pile with a smug grin on her face.
"Oh, no you don't! This isn't a free peep show. Turn around," he ordered, glaring at the two of them, and Zechs, too, for good measure.
"Free? What if I offer to pay?" Sally said, grinning, "I have it on good authority that I'll be getting a gift certificate soon." Even as she spoke, she was scooting her chair around to face the other way. Noin rolled her eyes and heaved herself over so that she was lying on her side, her back to Quatre. Zechs smirked, but eventually turned around as well.
"And no peeking!"
With a last glance around to ensure that everyone's eyes were elsewhere, Quatre smoothly pulled himself out of the pool and scurried over to his suit. He made the last step into more of a lunge; his outstretched hand was inches away from the wet material when a loud, feminine shriek assaulted his ears.
Quatre leaped into the air in a reasonable rendition of a startled cat, and landed facing the door to the hallway, poised to defend himself.
"You're a BOY!!!!!" Mildred Bridgewater, accompanied by a covey of wide-eyed society ladies, was standing on the pool deck, pointing accusingly at him.
For a long frozen moment Quatre's brain simply refused to acknowledge the disaster staring him in the face. He closed his eyes, but the hideous scene was the same when he opened them again a few seconds later. Everyone in the room was staring at him, their attention grabbed by that piercing scream of outrage.
When lightning refused to strike him dead, the ground declined to open and swallow him up, and no god-like voice obligingly rumbled, "Just kidding!" Quatre slowly began to gather his scattered wits.
He wanted to cover himself with his hands, snatch up a towel, run from the room and never face anyone again. But a little voice at the back of his brain whispered, "They've already seen everything anyway. It's just like a nasty revelation in the boardroom. Don't let them see they've rattled you."
He could feel the furious blush that had heated his skin receding, leaving him feeling almost faint. Nevertheless, he straightened up, forced his hands onto his hips (instead of hovering protectively in front of his groin as they wanted to,) and said as evenly as he could manage, "Actually, I'm a man."
"Well!! Of all the-!! You!!" Mildred spluttered for a moment, then shook her finger at him. "You won't be getting our support after all, you fraud!! How dare you attempt to pervert our noble mission!"
Quatre cocked his head, as if he hadn't heard correctly. "So you are going back on your offer, based solely on my gender? That seems rather hypocritical for an organization supposedly fighting prejudice."
He heard a quiet snicker from Duo's direction, the sound giving him courage.
Ms. Bridgewater looked taken aback. "I- That is, we-"
"As your original offer was made in front of several witnesses," Quatre mused, "and the retraction made in front of several more, I think my lawyers would have no trouble at all proving breach of oral contract."
Ms. Bridgewater's mouth dropped open.
"Fortunately for both of us," Quatre continued, warming to his topic, "I have no need of your services. I would therefore be willing to release you from the bargain, in return for your society retracting the erroneous statements you've made concerning my gender, along with the solemn promise to never reveal the proof you received to convince you that I am male."
Mildred was still gaping like a stranded fish, and Quatre hoped she would make up her mind soon; he could see several of the women behind her craning their necks for a better view, and he was going to start blushing again soon. He forced himself to hold his casual pose and politely expectant expression until the infuriating woman finally nodded in agreement.
He inclined his head dismissively and turned away slightly, as if they were all standing chatting at a garden party and something mildly interesting had caught his attention.
Mildred Bridgewater shut her mouth with a snap, turned on her heel, and marched to the door, saying, "Ladies! We are no longer needed here."
Two seconds after the ladies of SLOP finally left, Quatre was safely hidden from view in the pool, trying to not drown as he struggling back into his suit.
The room rang with tension-relieving laughter. Duo positively howled, clutching a chuckling Wufei for support; Heero and Trowa were both snickering. He could hear laughter from the other three as well, but he didn't dare look up to see their expressions.
Zechs approached as soon as Quatre was dressed again. "I do apologize for the abysmal timing, Quatre," he said, trying not to smile, "but I must congratulate you on your quick thinking. That was a difficult test of your poise, and you passed with flying colours." He broke into a grin. "Various shades of red, mostly, but still..."
Trowa swam over, his eyes dancing with amusement and pride. "You were brilliant," he whispered, wrapping a comforting arm around him.
Quatre huddled close, hiding his flaming face, and muttered, "If I ever think of going swimming in public again, please, please shoot me."
TBC
(:./wingnut/expose4)
