By this time, the Luc man was quite irate and sat in his captain's chair. "Computer, where is Duo-Q at this time?"
"He's in the holodeck, running a program. Also, a lot of the crew have suddenly began bleeding from the nose."
Steam began rising from Jean Luc's pate. "This is unsufferable. I'm going to get him off my ship, one way or the other."
Beverly Crusher was hypo-spraying Worf's brow ridge with a mild anesthetic. "It's your fault for getting into a fight with a guy whose head is harder than your own.
"I am fine. Though I do admit he is a good fighter for a human."
"Kisama, for a human?" said Wufei in the next bed.
"Be quiet and lie down!"
"WHAT!"
"Oh, since Q is here, he must be after Jean Luc," said Beverly Crusher. "I must go and rescue him if at possible. He is my guy, after all."
"I will come with you after I pick up my bat-leth."
"First, tie Wufei to his bed."
"WHAT!"
Meanwhile, a bishonen with a green shirt and jeans was riding in the same turbo-lift as Jean Luc. The bishonen stared at him and said, "Hn."
"I beg your pardon," said Jean Luc.
"I don't see what he finds you so attractive," said the bishonen. "You're just as good looking as Master O."
"Now look here... wait... you're not a part of this crew."
The bishonen smirked. "I am HQ, but you can call me Heero."
"Not more of you. What do you want?"
"Duo-Q has escaped from the continuum. I plan to retrieve him and give him a good spanking."
Jean Luc's nose bled.
Riker and Data smoked some herbal cigars from Dilbert IV. "Just ain't the same without the Captain."
"Yes, I quite agree, Commander."
"Lets drag him back here."
"Yes, I quite agree, Commander."
Worf and Beverly walked up to the door to the holodeck that Duo was occupying. "I am ashamed to admit this, but I am almost, ALMOST afraid to see what's behind that door," said Worf.
"Screw fear," said Beverly. "I'm going to kick his ass."
Worf internally groaned. I'm so glad she doesn't know about what the hell Data, Riker and the Captain have been up to and I'm NOT going to be the one to tell her. Worf used his security clearance to open the door.
"Worfei!" yelled Duo-Q who was sitting in a huge pool full of frothy but not bubbly water with rose essence. Around them was a nice spa area with cheerful attendants with pretty dark eyes and long brown hair standing by with towels and loofahs and various soaps.
"You worthless son of a gakh," said Worf. "What is the meaning of this?"
"It's for the Luc man. It's not nice to interrupt me while I'm taking a bath," said Duo-Q.
Suddenly the bat-leth turned pink and fuzzy. Worf dropped it in disgust. "What have you done to my weapon!"
"If you don't want your hair to turn the same color, I suggest you leave."
Worf immediately ran out of the room so fast that you couldn't see his legs but only some circles to represent his speed. Beverly ran after him. "Get back here!"
Meanwhile, Heero-Q and Jean Luc were walking down the hall. "Before I take him back to our continuum, I want to see exactly how insanely infatuated he is with you."
"Are you trying to imply something?"
Heero-Q shrugged. "It's obvious he's only doing this to make me jealous."
"Well, maybe there's something to be jealous of... " said Picard curtly. I was voted best looking Terran male captain over the age of forty in Star Fleet three years running, he thought. "Maybe I should take up Duo-Q's offer."
Heero glared at him and said, "Hn." Omae o korosu, he thought.
"Now look here, I may lack working follicles on my head but I can assure you that I, Jean Luc Picard, am... "
A running Worf and Beverly nearly ran the both of them over.
"Hmmm," said Heero-Q. "Duo-Q must be near."
The door to the holodeck opened and Jean Luc went in alone. "Q, where are you?"
"Oh, Jean Luc, how good of you to join me! You certainly took your time getting here."
"Q, what about I make you a deal?"
"A deal? What sort of deal?"
"One hour and you are out of my life forever."
Tears came to Duo-Q's eyes. "You're so cruel, my Capiton! However, I think by the end of the hour, you will ask for an extension." Duo-Q's hands greedily reached for Picard. Suddenly Picard punched him in the stomach and a surprised look came over Duo-Q's face. "Wait a minute, you're... " Then Duo-Q fell unconscious.
The fake Picard promptly turned back into Heero-Q. "Insane, completely insane," sighed Heero-Q. He patted Duo-Q on the head and gently hoisted him over his shoulder.
The real Picard poked his head in. "Is it safe to walk in?"
Heero-Q nodded, carrying Duo-Q over his shoulder. "Do not worry, I will take care of everything now."
"Suppose he comes back here for me."
Heero closed his eyes and smiled, all twinkly. "I'm going to strip him of his powers and clothes for the next millenium. So, you needn't worry."
Riker and Data walked in. "Who's he?" said Ryker
"It's one of the Q continuum come to take Duo-Q off our hands."
Heero-Q and Duo-Q promptly disappeared without saying goodbye.
"Hmmm, nice holosuite program," remarked Riker. He did a little growl as he looked at all the pretty attendants.
Jean Luc sighed. "No. 1."
"Yes?"
"You're a hentai."
The End
(:./mk/q2)
