13-Apr-2001
Title: Chained To You
Author: Silverblade Shí-fox
Series: Gundam Wing
Pairing: 1x2/2x1 (I know, you're all dying from shock... ^_^)
Genre: shounen ai/yaoi songfic
Rating: about pg-13 I guess...
Disclaimers: neither Gundam Wing nor 'Chained to You' belong to me. The former belongs to Sunrise and Bandai and all those peeps and the latter belongs to Savage Garden.
Warnings: one other thing, this is first person, which I'm not really comfortable writing in, so please forgive any awkwardness... ^U^
Feedback: c&c welcome! sylvyrblad@aol.com since hotmail killed my account a month ago... 40-50 days of email just deleted... >_<
Notes: after far too long, silver finally broke down and mortgaged her soul -again- to her parents for money to get new cd's... and whilst listening to the 'affirmation' cd (savage garden) she was inspired for the first time in a while for new Gundam fics.
Thanks go out to my dearest friends, my beta-readers - betony, cindy-chan, and skippy - my fannily, online and otherwise, and my ever tolerant CH nezumi-chan who was the first to have this read to her over the phone just after I'd written it... and I want to especially thank the folks on my update
list (see bottom) for giving me such positive and wonderful feedback! *glompage!*
Of course, I must thank the wonderful tolerant peeps who host me! *GLOMP!!!* Sankyuu! Doumo arigatou gozaimasu! Danke Schöne! Merci beaucoup!
And, especially since I realized I hadn't included this in with my last recent posting... MANY thanks, schnuggles, huggles, purring and glomps go out to each and every person that has written me about my fics! Thank you so much for making my day!
/... / flashback
[... ] song lyrics
[We were standing all alone you were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker dancing to Madonna then you kissed me]
It came from out of nowhere... We were just standing there, him talking, me making my usual non-committal sounds from time to time and then... He just leaned over, like he usually does right before he says something outrageous, his cobalt eyes sparkling and dancing, and... kissed me.
[And I think about it all the time
Sweet temptation rush all over me]
I had never felt anything like it before... The gentle pressure of his lips against mine, the heat of his breath mingling with mine, the wet sweep of his tongue against my lower lip... I found myself trembling, wanting nothing more than to grab him and pull him closer, and lose myself in his boundless energy and seemingly endless hair...
But I held back, just barely.
A moment later, he pulled away, grinned at me and sauntered off, whistling jauntily. I just stood there like a statue, waiting for my breathing and heart rate to return to normal and for the trembling to stop.
I've tried to banish the entire episode from my mind, but it's like trying not to think of a green marmoset. The harder you try, the more the damn image keeps returning...
I can't stop thinking about it.
[And I think about it all the time
Passion desire so intense I can't take anymore because]
And every time I think about it, I remember the strange feelings that coursed through me. Feelings that have nothing to do with the mission or objectives and everything to do with that infuriating grin, that useless braid and limitless energy that cause him to charm everyone he encounters, whether they like it or not.
Me, for example.
He's never mentioned the incident or made any move to repeat it. I don't know how to feel about this. I suppose I should be glad that he's not trying to jeopardize my concentration with lust and hormones, but... I still can't stop thinking about it. It's getting to the point that I almost wish he'd do it again, so I can show him just how it made me feel.
[I feel the magic all around you
It's bringing me to my knees
Like a wannabe
I've got to be chained to you]
And being in his presence almost constantly isn't helping either.
Everywhere I go, I see his smile and hear his laughter as he uses that obnoxious amount of cheerful charisma to worm his way into the hearts of the people around him. It's almost like he has a special gift, a magic touch that makes people want to be around him, to enjoy his company.
And still I think about that kiss.
Such a small thing, really. Not even using tongue besides that small brush against my lip.
So why the hell can't I get it off my mind?
Then I see him flirting with others and I find myself grinding my teeth, furious at the idea that he could be kissing any of them the same way he did me. I keep myself from rushing over to him and dragging him off, away from all his admirers to some place where we can be alone and I can bury my hands in his hair and kiss him back.
I need to stay with him, no matter that his presence continues to confuse my hormones. The thought of being without him, of trusting his safety to anyone else besides me is unthinkable.
If I could, I'd make sure that he can't run away again.
[And when you looked into my eyes felt a certain sense of urgency Fascination casts a spell and you became more than just a mystery And I think about you all the time]
Every now and again, he looks into my eyes and I feel that same rush of desire and confusion run its course through my body and mind. Then he smiles and turns away to something or someone else before I can put any sort of response together.
I'm beginning to think he's doing this on purpose.
For all I know about him, he very well could be. What do I know about him, anyway?
He's a very skilled mobile suit pilot, his stealth capabilities exceed my own and he calls himself Shinigami, god of death. I know that has some connection to the Catholic Church because of his outfit. He enjoys joking with people and can talk for hours on end, but can be serious when he feels like it. He's a very intelligent and capable individual and has some sort of emotional attachment to his hair. He also seems to enjoy a challenge and has an almost infinite store of energy and good cheer.
I also know that he is quite possibly the first person to want to get to know me as a person and not an object, a weapon in this war that we've all been tossed into.
I know that I could stare into his eyes for hours without figuring out their depths.
And that his slightest touch is enough to send my hormones into a frenzy.
And that I can't stop thinking about him.
[Is this fate is it my destiny
That I think about you all the time]
I suddenly recall his words when I rescued him from the OZ holding cell. Until that moment that I faced him, I had been ready to remove the danger to the mission, but then he stood up, not willing to die on the ground like an animal.
/He pulled himself up, using the wall as a brace, head to the side and closing his eyes. A small smile as he relaxed.
"I guess it's my destiny to be killed by you... "
Click. Pause.
One eye opened, looking at him, half incredulous, half wondering, his voice wistful as he whispered, "You're going to do it, aren't you?"/
I couldn't do it then, especially not when he seemed disappointed when I didn't shoot him. I rescued him then, and I still wonder sometimes why he was disappointed. Now that I know the extent of his injuries at the time, I'm amazed that he was able to keep up with me and contribute to our escape as well as he did.
He's so much more than he seems.
Perhaps it's my destiny to become fixated on him. I actually find myself liking the idea that we may be connected by fate. Shaking my head, I try to focus on the repairs to my gundam and find my mind wandering back to that kiss...
Kuso!
[I no longer pretend to have my hand on the wheel because]
I sigh, resting my head on my crossed forearms. Finally, I just let my mind wander as it wills, relaxing into the thoughts. It hits me then that I have no control over this.
And somehow, I don't find the thought threatening any more.
[I feel the magic all around you
It's bringing me to my knees
Like a wannabe
I've got to be chained to you]
Perhaps this is the core of his magic, taking away the control of those around him without their knowledge. Using his charm and smiles to make a sneak attack on their thoughts and hearts. I chuckle quietly. It seems just his style.
And I suddenly realize why he kissed me, and more importantly, why he did nothing more about it.
Shaking my head, I let myself laugh. He's very good at stealth.
Until he kissed me, I had no thoughts about him in that way, other than the occasional wondering one about why he kept his hair so long. But afterwards... my own analytical nature couldn't let me forget and I couldn't stop thinking about how it made me feel, how /he/ made me feel.
[I feel the magic building around you]
And as I continued to think about it, the tension built until it forced its way past my own mental barriers. Very intelligent, to use my own mind processes against me.
Now that I've realized this, I know that my own nature will also not let me ignore this attraction, something else I'm sure he was counting on.
An idea occurs to me and I decide to make sure that he cannot misconstrue my meaning.
[I feel the magic all around you
It's bringing me to my knees
Like a wannabe
I've got to be chained to you]
I'll make sure he knows exactly how he's made me feel with that one simple kiss. I'll also make sure that he can't just saunter off again.
[And I think about you all the time
Yeah I think about it all the time
Tell me it's madness I barely know you]
The part of me that is just the 'perfect soldier' screams at me to stop, to ignore this madness that's taken hold of me because of him. That I barely know this boy, how can I trust him? He's only going to betray me to the enemy in some way or another.
I tell it exactly what it can do with that advice.
Then my hormones decide to take that idea and put him in the 'perfect soldier' voice's place.
I find myself ginning widely as that image is followed by more.
I may barely know him, but I can't ignore him or my own preoccupation. Perhaps I'm only getting myself into trouble, but I can't pass this up. I can't pass up the chance that he can make me human again.
[We were standing all alone you were leaning in to speak to me
Ten steps back you're still a mystery
Acting like a mover shaker dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
I can't take anymore because]
I find him alone in our shared room. He turns and grins at me.
"Heya, Heero! Where ya been, huh? Hunting down Relena? Communing with Wing?"
I shake my head and I can't keep my grin from showing.
He raises one eyebrow and looks slightly perplexed.
"What's so amusing? Has my braid suddenly gained pink ribbons or something?"
I chuckle and he almost seems worried and wary for a moment before prowling over and walking a circle around me, eying me as if looking for something.
I turn with him so that he can't see behind me.
He puts his hands on his hips.
"Huh, well you /look/ like Heero Yuy and you won't let me out of your sight, but you're grinning. What did you get into, Heero? Have you accepted any candy from strangers lately?"
I laugh, startling him.
"I haven't gotten into anything."
He relaxes, still looking slightly puzzled at my good mood.
My smile makes its way into a smirk.
"Yet."
He blinks but has no chance to respond before I cover his lips with mine.
There is a muffled sound of surprise before he relaxes against me, I can feel his grin against my mouth as I run my tongue along his bottom lip, mirroring his actions last time. A husky chuckle and then he's opening his lips to my assault. I'm not familiar with kissing, but I just let my instincts guide me.
He doesn't seem to mind.
I bury one hand in his hair, angling his head so that I can taste more of his mouth. With the other hand I grab what I had tucked into the back of my spandex shorts. He wraps his arms around me, one hand tangling itself in the hair at the nape of my neck and the other going around my waist to pull me closer. I shift one thigh between his legs and savor the feel and sound of his moan against me.
Deciding he's distracted now, I ensure that he can't run away from me this time.
[I feel the magic all around you
It's bringing me to my knees
Like a wannabe
I've got to be chained to you]
At the click, he pulls away, startled, only to find that I've fastened the other end to myself. He stares at the handcuffs.
"Hee... Heero! What the fuck?!"
I smirk at him, using the handcuffs to pull him back against me.
"You can't run away this time."
He blinks a few times before grinning a little ruefully and chuckling quietly.
"Don't worry, Heero. I'm not gonna run away this time."
"You'd better not."
His grin turns mischievous.
"I could still pick the lock, ya know."
I glare at him, then smirk again.
"Not if I keep your hands busy."
He nods, still grinning.
I pull him close and manage to keep us both occupied for some time.
[I feel the magic building around you
I feel the magic all around you
It's bringing me to my knees
Like a wannabe
I've got to be chained to youTell me it's madness
I barely know you]
The End
*giggles* ok... that was fun and didn't turn out as bad as I thought it might... yeah! I tried not to make it sappy... I'm not sure if it worked. Let me know, k?
I also have an update list for my fics, fan and original, at yahoo!groups. the mainpage can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShifoxFic
p.s. anyone go to anime central, may 11-13? If so, anyone remember seeing the endless waltz duo (on sat only) with a cane (all weekend) wandering about, usually with a wunnerful brown-haired girl with a black furry tail on a leash and another brown haired girl with a tan fedora (that is often mistaken for a cowboy hat)? If so... the duo with cane was me... ^_^ the girl with the leash was the evil-self-insert-fanfic-character - cindy the werewolfling! The other girl was my dear CH nezu-chan! ^_^ 'twas a fun con and I got to see so many peeps that I hardly ever see! And I met new peeps too! It was so cool!!! I was hyperventilating when I met Ravynfyre and Katsu no Miko... skippy had to drag me over to meet them because I was so nervous... *BIG sweatdrop*
afternotes: not long after i finished this, i was anime central here in chicago (may 11-13) and i attended the yaoi panel. i was sitting with my friends in the front row, fiddling with my new gw figures and making them do lewd things with one another... ^_____^ at one point in the discussion, one of the panelists said that whenever she heard a savage garden song, she knew that somewhere there was a gw fangirl writing a 1x2/2x1 fic to it... at this point i was turning red and sinking in my chair with my head in my hands while my friends all pointed at me and laughed... *sigh* -_- i love them... really... that's why they're still alive...
(:./silverblade/chained)
