1 February 2001
Category: Songfic, Dark, Angst
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: 4+3, 2+1
Warnings: Language, violence, abuse, psycho Quatre, semi-bastard Duo, if you can't hang with any of these concepts, please avoid.
Feedback: C&C, even to tell me you hate it. I can take it.
Notes: Me ... and Pink Floyd. This song is off of the album, The Wall. It's been sitting around my files unfinished since October. I kept the physical violence off-stage, but the psychological violence lingers on.
'-- denote thoughts--'
[song lyrics]
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belongs to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency and are only being used for non profit entertainment purposes.
"You made a promise. How can you do this to me? To us?" the angelic voice pleaded.
"You know that's not fair. Something had to be done. Things have gotten worse over the years," the tired, wary voice replied.
"But this isn't the answer."
"Maybe not THE answer but it's the only one I can come up with for the moment," the weary boy said as he started to leave.
"Where do you think you're going?" the angelic voice asked with venom dripping off every word.
"Where I go every Sunday. You know you're always welcomed to come."
"No, I trust you, koi," spat out of the boy with menace in his voice. "Have a good time."
It was a lovely sunny morning in the park. Two former gundam pilots sat at a picnic bench playing a game of chess.
"When are you going to leave him? All he does is hurt you," a quiet voice asked.
Trowa stared at Heero for a second before chuckling. "I'll leave him the minute you leave Duo."
"What is that suppose to mean?" Heero asked.
"Duo abuses you as well, he's just better at hitting you where the bruises aren't so obvious," Trowa said without anger.
Heero flushed. "He doesn't hit me on a regular basis as Quatre does you. Isn't this funny? If anyone had to pick out who were cold, abusing bastards, Duo and Quatre's names would never make that list."
"They weren't always this way Heero," Trowa sighed.
"Yes, I know. It's hard to believe that war was what kept them ... sane?"
"I wish I knew what draws Quatre into this madness. One minute he's gentle and sweet like he used to be, the next he's violent and angry."
"Trowa, I fear for you. One of these days, he won't be able to stop," Heero said not disguising his concern at all.
"I know, but I made a promise, never to leave him."
"That promise was made before he changed. You don't think he still holds you to that promise."
"I know he does," Trowa said. "I've asked him to get help. I am taking him somewhere to get that help."
"You're committing him?" Heero asked, surprised. "And he agreed to it?"
"It's only for a two week evaluation. And it wasn't easy getting him to agree. He doesn't see that there's anything wrong."
When Trowa returned from his chess match with Heero, he was surprised to see the house he shared with Quatre filled with flowers.
"Trowa, is that you?" Quatre called from the bedroom.
"Hai."
Quatre came out of the bedroom naked. He walked up to Trowa and gave him a slow, deep, sensual kiss. "Did you miss me, koi?" he asked seductively.
Trowa smiled, "Yes, I did miss you." 'I miss the "sweet Quatre" you,' he thought.
Quatre grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bedroom. "Well, if I'm going to be away, I should give you something to remember me by for a while."
They made love for hours. Trowa knew it was a trick. A ploy to make him change his mind about committing Quatre, but he wouldn't let himself fall for the trap. Not this time.
[Oh babe, don't leave me now
Don't say it's the end of the road
Remember the flowers I sent,
I need you babe
To put through the shredder in front of my friends]
Quatre had invited all the former pilots for reunion of sorts. He had lost touch with most of the pilots. He didn't join the Preventers like Wufei and Heero had. Trowa was the only one who stayed near. He had to. He promised never to leave him.
The gathering went well, until Quatre noticed that Trowa was talking to Heero a little longer than he thought necessary.
"Trowa, sweetie," Quatre's innocent voice dripped with menace, "Are you being a slut? Leave Heero alone, love."
Trowa stared at Quatre in disbelief and embarrassment. He quickly looked away to see that Heero's face was flushed in embarrassment as well. Trowa never noticed the irked expression on Duo's face.
The room went silent. Quatre looked around good naturedly, exuding nothing but sweetness and light, but the tone of his voice betrayed the dimly concealed anger. "Trowa, come here ... now."
Trowa walked over to Quatre, ignoring the shocked looks from Wufei and Heero. Quatre placed a sweet kiss on his lover's cheek and continued his conversation with one of the Manganacs like nothing had happened. Trowa kept his eyes downcast and never said another word the rest of the evening.
That was the first time Trowa decided he had to leave Quatre. The next day, Quatre was the Quatre of old, complete with flowers, poems, apologies and sweet kisses. Trowa felt deep down none of this was resolved, but he did love Quatre, so he stayed.
[Oh babe, don't leave me now
How could you go
When you know how I need you
Need you, need you, need you
To beat to a pulp on a Saturday night]
Another gathering, another public humiliation for Trowa. Wufei and Heero tried to talk reason to him in a quiet moment that Quatre witnessed from a concealed spot unseen by them.
"You don't understand. He's not like this when we are alone. When it's just the two of us, it's wonderful," Trowa said.
"Do you think the Zero system had long-term effects on him that we don't know about?" Wufei asked, concerned for his friends.
"Or that the scientists neglected to tell us?" Heero added.
Trowa shook his head. "I don't know," he said. "Heero, you were in Zero longer than any of us, do you have psychotic episodes?"
"No," Heero said. "But I'm different from Quatre. He's always been very sensitive."
Duo walked into the room where the three former pilots had gathered. "What's going on guys? Planning a threesome? Count me in! Oh! That would make it a foursome, even better," he grinned as he put an arm around Heero. Heero unconsciously flinched, it went unnoticed by all except Trowa.
"We're a little worried about Quatre," Wufei offered. "He's been acting a little strangely, don't you think?"
"What? That yelling stuff?" Duo asked. "He's probably just nervous having all of us around."
Wufei stared at Duo, "Nervous? Why would he be nervous, we all worked together with no problems in the past. And he was the one that invited us here in the first place."
"Just a theory. What am I, a mind reader?" Duo said sticking out his tongue at Wufei. He grabbed Heero's hand, "Let's go, koi. I want to show you something." The hentai tone in Duo's voice left the others with no doubts what Heero was going to be 'shown'.
Later that night, in the wee hours of the morning, the noises woke everyone. It sounded like a fight. It was coming from Quatre's room. Wufei was in the hallway heading to the door, when Duo stopped him.
"We can't get involved, Wu-kun. It's not our business."
"Trowa is our friend, Duo. We have to help him," Wufei said angrily.
"What if stopping this now, just makes it worse for Trowa when we leave? Have you thought of that?" Duo reasoned.
"I suppose you're right. I don't agree with it, but I won't interfere," Wufei gritted out. "Where's Heero?"
"Oh, he's asleep. After the war, he sleeps like a baby. Remember when he would awake at the sound of hair growing on the top of your hair?" Duo laughed. "I didn't want to wake him, in case he decided to go commando like you wanted to. I don't know if I could have called off the two of you. Good night, Wu-chan," Duo smiled as he walked Wufei back to his bedroom.
The loud noises stopped almost as quickly as it had began.
The next day, everyone pretended not to notice the black eye that Trowa wore. They were sure he probably had other injuries as well, but his clothes covered much of those. They attempted to ignore the red, raw, bruised knuckles on Quatre's hands. Everyone decided that maybe they should wrap up this gathering all left a day earlier than originally planned.
Wufei was the last one to leave. He found an unguarded moment alone with Trowa to plead to the quiet man once more.
"Trowa, you really need to leave him. He's a danger to you and to himself," Wufei warned.
"I promised him long ago, during the war, that I would never leave," Trowa said.
"Yes, but that was before he started hurting you. Once violence is introduced all promises should be null and void," Wufei said.
"Wufei, I appreciate that you are concerned, but you have nothing to worry about. I will be fine," Trowa said as he helped the Chinese man gather his things to take them to his car.
After Wufei left, he contacted Heero and suggested they find a way to help Trowa. That was when the two decided they would alternate playing chess in the park with Trowa on Sunday afternoons. It was a thinly disguised way to see how the quiet pilot was doing and to plead with him to leave Quatre for his own safety.
Wufei never found out what Trowa had guessed about Heero. Heero was also being abused by Duo. With this in common, Trowa usually was more forthcoming with Heero about his situation.
[Oh babe, don't leave me now
How can you treat me this way
Running away, I need you babe
Why are you running away]
The asylum that Trowa and Quatre had chosen was a very upscale one. It looked more like an four star hotel than a home for people with mental problems. Trowa just hoped his lover could be helped.
Quatre stared at him with sweet, innocent looking eyes. "Trowa, I know this is the best thing right now. Just you watch by the end of two weeks, all will be better, I promise."
Trowa smiled at his lover, "I sincerely hope so, Quatre. I will visit you often."
Quatre stared at his love. But looking at the tall, beautiful boy with eyes of green, he didn't see a person he loved at all. He saw the face of the man he tried to kill during the war. A face that should have stayed dead, putting to rest the demons that tormented him about it for so many years. He could feel the bile rising in his throat. 'So this is never leaving me is it, bitch? Oh you will visit me often or suffer the consequences later.' Quatre smiled and said sweetly, "I hope so, I know I will miss you. I can't remember the last time we've spent time apart. Will you be okay?"
"Yes, I'll probably have Catherine come up to keep me company, while I wait for your return," Trowa said.
'More than likely you going to try to bed Heero or Wufei, slut,' the blonde thought to himself. "Just remember our promise, koi."
Trowa tried not to wince at the words. That promise hung like a dead albatross around his neck. It was a promise he happily kept when the times were better, so it was only fair to keep it when the times were at their worse. "Quatre, love. I promised you five years ago and that nothing will change that. I will never leave you, koi."
Quatre sweetly kissed him, secretly wanting to bite down on those lush lips hard. To inflict a little pain so his lover wouldn't forget his place. But they were in public, so he kept the kiss nice.
"Mr. Winner," the orderly said interrupting the two men's quiet moment. "We're ready for you now."
"I will see you soon Quatre," Trowa said quietly relieved that it was time for him to leave.
"Okay, Trowa," Quatre said absently as he gathered his things to follow the orderly. Trowa turned to go. The blonde man stopped for a moment to stare at the retreating figure of the young man. 'Why are you running away? Don't you know you can never run from me, whore? You promised and I will make sure you keep that promise!' his brain shouted to his love, before turning back around and following the orderly to his room with a calm, serene smile.
OWARI
(:./babaca/dontleavenow)
