15-Apr-2001
----- Original Message -----
From: <MadamHydra@aol.com>
> A little Bulwer-Lytton, anyone? ^_^
>
> For anyone who doesn't know, Bulwer-Lytton was a minor
> Victorian author who wrote the infamous cliched lines
> "It was a dark and stormy night...." Those lines inspired
> the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest which challenges
> competitors to write the opening sentence to the worst
> novels never written.
>
> You can find information on the contest (as well as some
> absolutely hilarious examples) at:
>
> http://www.bulwer-lytton.com
>
> Someone might have suggested this before, but I hope
> some of you might be interested in giving it a try.
> <demented snigger>
>
> So my fic challenge is pretty simple: To compose the
> opening sentence to the worst possible imaginary GW
> (or anime) fic you can think of. Have fun! ^__^
I've been lurking, but who am I to resist?
Here's the worst intro I can think of...
Duo slipped softly into the bedroom where Heero lay unconscious, suspended ten feet above the bed. Humming to himself, he undid the black silk bathrobe and red velvet nightshirt he was wearing, and let his hair flow gently out around him.
"D... Duo... what's going on? Why can't I move?"
"Oh, don't worry, lover... I've just decided I want to take our relationship to a new level..." Duo smiled as he opened a drawer to his dresser filled with strange black implements.
"I don't like bondage, Duo."
"This isn't bondage, Heero." Duo straightened up and licked his lips seductively, paying special attention to the two fangs that now stood out from his smile.
"This is about you and I being together for eternity."
The End
How bad is that?
(:./bza/stormy)
