11 Nov 2001
First let me say this: I wrote this after my harddrive wiped itself leaving me NOTHING and giving me a migraine... so this is not completely coherent... and the ending is kinda bad... if anyone has some suggestions on the end, please please send them to me.
Author's notes: Song belongs to the people who did it for End of Eva. Also, why the title is in German, the song in English, and is used in a Japanese anime is beyond me. ^^; Also, I wrote this after my compy conked on me, and thus was in a bad mood w/ a migraine. Also this is vedy different for a songfic, you MUST read the lyrics as you go along, or the fic will make no sense... Muse note: it may not make any sense anyway. The lyrics are Duo's words...
Warnings: suicide attempt (can't handle, don't read)
Categories: songfic, mild angst
Pairings: 1+2/2+1
Author: Shi-chan/Willow
Feedback: hell yeah!
Disclaimer: not mine, never will be, i'm all about
that
Heero looked deep into the violet eyes, half-veiled by drooping lids. "Stay with me," he commanded, giving the pale boy a shake as he held Duo's slashed wrists in an iron grip. "Tell me why you did this..."
[I know that I have let you down]
"I had more faith in you than that, Duo..." Heero said sadly, disappointedly, and Duo choked back a sob.
[I've been a fool to myself]
"I thought you were stronger than this?" Heero's voice shook slightly with the pain he felt. "Why'd you try to leave me...?"
[I thought that I could
live for no one else]
"Baka na!"
[But not through all the hurt and pain]
"Why didn't you ask someone for help?" Desperation. The Perfect Soldier was loosing this battle, the emotionally scarred boy inside stumbling to the forefront.
[Its time for me to respect
the ones you love
mean more than anything]
Heero blinked. Then blinked again. "Then why? Why this?"
[So with sadness in my heart
I feel the best thing I could do
is end it all
and leave forever]
A tear slipped down Heero's cheek to join the red swirled water he knelt in.
[whats done is done, it feels so bad
what once was happy now is sad
I'll never love again
my world is endingI wish that I could turn back time
cos now the guilt is all mine
cant live without the trust from the ones you love.
I know we can't forget the past
you cant forget love and pride
because of that its killing me insideIt all returns to nothing, it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down,
it all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down,
in my heart of hearts,
I know that I called never love again
I've lost everything
everything
that matters to me,
matter in this worldI wish that I could turn back time
cos now all the guilt is mine
cant live without
the trust from those you love
I know we can't forget the past
you can't forget love and pride
because of that, its killing me insideIt all returns to nothing, it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down
it all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down
It all returns to nothing, it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down]
Heero sat in silence as he watched the paramedics bandage the still bleeding wrists and haul the frail-looking, self-dubbed Shinigami away on a litter... Drooping violet eyes lingered on the boy who sat on the edge of the porcelain tub until they rounded the corner and passed out of sight.
[it all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down] [2]
Owari? [3]
Footnotes:
[1] Komme Susser Tod = Come Sweet Death
[2] If you know this song, you know how pretty it is... Well, I think it's pretty... It's one of my favourite songs. It's also practically my theme song, so I felt it appropriate for Duo to "speak" the lyrics as his explainations. Did it make any sense at all? I sure hope so... -_-;
[3] My headache fogged mind cannot come up with a solution to this equation... is that the end? How do I end this fic? Is there an end? So... if you have an ending to submit, by all means, write it up and send it to me... I could make a contest outta this, ne?
Do me a favour? Someone reply to this and tell me just how shitty my writing is when I have a migraine. D'accord?
(:./willow/komme)
