20-Mar-2003
Title: Street of Dreams 19/?
Author: Lasha Lee
Pairings: Various
Disclaimer: I shamelessly stole the Gundam Wing characters.
Warnings: Angsty
Email: anakerie@cinci.rr.com
Disclaimer: Honest, I wasn't trying to STEAL the Gundam Wing characters. I
just took them to research a movie role.
"Because You Loved Me" is mangled by Celine Dion.
Author Notes: Thanks to everyone who voted in the "lemon" poll. Gage and Shan
especially thank you for your votes, since they were the winners. The promised
lemon will appear in the chapter after this one.
Sometimes now, for a few seconds or minutes, the darkness clears, and I know where I am and who I am. And then the pain returns, clawing its way inside of me and to the outside from the in, and I let myself drift away again to try and escape.
I listen for their voices, and I try and let them know that I can hear them and that I understand, but my eyes are swollen shut and my fingers are too stiff to grip theirs in return no matter how much I want to. I have no sense of time any more, and it's hard to tell what's a dream and what isn't.
I think Gerry was here, or else my mind created him and brought him here. I heard him promise me that even if it wasn't the one he wanted, Gage would always have a father to turn to if he needed one, and I was glad. I'd always thought of him, in spite of everything, as the man who'd stolen my son. But the truth was, it was I that had stolen his.
I heard Relena telling me about her Memory Walk with Heero, about seeing us together as children, and then her voice faded and I was in that memory, tumbling like a stray puppy. Kato's little arms were around my waist and the sky was blinding blue and in that world, there was no such thing as pain or fear or death.
Amy read to me; her voice deep and soothing, and again I drifted away, this time into dragon's cave, with a sword in my hand and warriors by my side. I stood against the beast, but I knew I could not win. He breathed flames over my body and I was thrust back into the agony. When it cleared, Amy was gone.
Meg just told me hello, and then held my hand, not speaking at all, but I could hear her weeping. I tried to tell her that it would be okay; that whatever it was that had upset her so deeply Daddy would find a way to fix. I cursed the arms that I couldn't make budge to hold her.
Heero came, and he didn't say much either. Just promised me that he'd be there for my family, our family, and he called me his brother.
When I awoke again, it was to the sound of singing. A sweet, clear voice laced with tears.
"You were my strength when I was weak. You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith cause you believed I'm everything I am because you loved me."
I managed then to force my eyes open, to look at him, and for the first time I saw a man instead of a boy. A man who was telling me that this time, I had permission to leave him.
They'd be okay. They'd hurt and then they'd move on. I didn't have to worry any longer; they had each other to help them through. I could go without much guilt.
Now, with my main reason for fighting death gone, I'm just going to settle back and wait.
In laughter sometimes, in tears others, Milliardo's family stood in Memory Walk and let the images from their minds flow and take shape in front of them. Rosie was efficient, moving from one person to the next and back again, letting the memories come at their own speed, stopping them when they needed to discuss what they'd seen.
"Hi baby." Milliardo stood on the end of a wooden crib, staring down at the infant inside, who was busy thrashing her covered fists above her head. "I'm your brother. Say brother, Sungirl."
From behind his father picked him up, laughing. "She can't talk yet, Starboy. Give her some time."
"She doesn't do much." He observed.
"She's a day old. I'd be surprised if she did do very much."
"When will she do something?"
"She'll start crawling around when she's six months old. She'll probably start walking and talking when she's a year old."
"A year? That's forever! Let's speed her up."
"I don't think that's going to work, Starboy. We'll just have to be patient with her. But she may learn faster; she has a big brother to teach her, after all. You have to take care of her; do you promise me?"
"I promise, Daddy. I'll always look out for her. Forever."
"He always did, too. Even when we weren't together. Every year from the time he found out where I was, he sent me a birthday card and a present. He never signed it; but he said he wanted me to know that someone loved me."
"Always." Lucrezia confirmed. "He was always telling me about his sister, about how someday he was going to make it safe for both of you to go home together. No matter how hard they pushed him in training, he pushed himself harder, and he did it for you. You kept him going."
Diaper hanging off her backside, the baby toddled across the room to where Milliardo stood at a child's easel, drawing a chalk picture of a tree. His snowy hair was loose around his shoulders, and she tugged on it.
"Katokatokatokatokatokato." She chanted, pointing at the dark-haired child fast asleep in a crib behind them.
"He's taking a nap. How did YOU get out of your crib?" Milliardo demanded. "Bad baby. Bad Sungirl."
"Katokatokatokatokato." She sang out again. "Up."
"Sungirl!" Their Nana appeared in the doorway of her own room. "It's nap time."
"Kato." Relena's lip trembled.
"Maybe she'll sleep okay if you put her in his crib again." Milliardo suggested.
Mikita picked up the baby, and cuddled her for a moment, and then laid Relena down gently next to Kato. The little girl didn't protest, but snuggled close to him as Mikita pulled the blanket up around them both.
"Obsess much?" Gage asked.
"What can I say?" Relena was blushing and chuckling. "I was a girl who knew what she wanted. Although to be honest, he was probably more interested in getting my brother into bed with him than me."
"It was the hair." Her son explained. "He just couldn't resist the hair."
"Aunt Relena, I don't want to be around when Duo finds out you slept with Heero." Amy grinned.
"I want a picture of her in that droopy diaper." Meg put in. "Do you know how much the tabloids would pay?"
"Maybe she has some memories of being potty-trained." Lucrezia suggested. "They'd pay double for that."
"Okay, I now hate all of you." Relena grumbled.
"I didn't say anything!" Gerry protested, holding up his hands.
"Can we please humiliate someone else now?" Relena asked hopefully.
"We're going to get in SO much trouble." Milliardo whispered to the girl beside him.
"Not if they don't catch us." She returned cheerfully. "Come on."
They kept close to the wall of the Academy, in the shadows, away from the lights that hung over the wide campus.
"Come on, Lu. I'm tried and I don't like this. I'm going back to bed."
"Wimp. I'm going, even if you go back." She said firmly.
He looked stricken, torn between wanting to retreat to safety, and not wanting her to go wherever she was headed alone.
They had reached the chainlink fence that circled the Academy, and she pointed to a gap between the poles. "You can squeeze through if you take a really deep breath."
Steeling himself, Milliardo crept toward the fence, and jumped a mile high when someone blew a whistle. "STOP RIGHT THERE!" A female voice yelled.
"Run!" Lucrezia commanded, and they took off as fast as they could. An older girl in a guard uniform was hot on their heels.
"Here!" Lucrezia grabbed Milliardo's hand and pulled him behind a dumpster, and they held their breath as the guard rushed past.
"Are... you... trying... to get us... expelled?" Milliardo demanded.
Her eyes were wide with fear and excitement. "We didn't get caught. Wanna kiss me?"
"Why?" He asked, making a face.
"Because you're a boy and I'm a girl, that's why. Boys are supposed to kiss girls they like."
"I don't like you."
"Yes you do... you told Tom you did." She teased, and he flushed.
"Okay, maybe I like you a little. But that's all."
"So kiss me then."
"Okay, just one." He leaned forward, and his lips touched hers very quickly.
"Wow, you were a rebel." Gage was visibly impressed. "Where were you trying to take him?"
Lucrezia tore her eyes away from the frozen scene. "A make-out point not far from the Academy. It was near a lake and very romantic. I thought he'd take one look and be swept away. I was 11 that night, the first time he kissed me. I wonder if he remembers it."
"Of course he would. You don't forget your first kiss." Shan assured her. "At least you asked for yours. I just got mauled into mine."
"I didn't maul you." His mate sulked. "Not much, anyway. You know you liked it."
"He was the best student there. So damn serious about everything. Eventually I became that way, but back then... I still had some growing up to do." She stared into space.
The rain battered against the house, and the wind howled.
Under a blanket two little girls huddled against their father, who had a flashlight in one hand and a book in front of him. Every time the thunder rumbled they'd scoot a little closer to him.
"And then." He whispered. "The princesses turned back into little girls instead of birds, and everyone gasped in surprise, because they'd never seen such a beautiful sight. And the people of the village carried them back to the palace and they called out. "Come look, Your Majesties. Come look and see.
"And the good king and queen ran outside, and they saw their beautiful daughters returned, the children they thought were lost forever. And with that the final spell of the witch was broken, and the fields began to bloom again, and spring came to the village. And they all lived happily ever after." He closed the book.
"What then?" Meg asked.
"That's how it ends." Amy explained. "They just lived happily ever after. That's what."
"But happy doing what?" Meg persisted. "They couldn't just sit around being happy all the time."
"They became high-priced attorneys." Milliardo told his daughter. "They argued cases in court all over the land, and eventually became High Judges. They married and had lots of beautiful princes and princesses of their own, and they had perfect teeth because they never forgot to brush and then lied to their mother and said they'd done it."
Amy gave him a "you're-full-of-it" look, but Meg was nodding. "Okay, as long as they did something to be happy about."
"It's just a story. You don't need to know everything." Amy sighed dramatically.
"No... I think Meg is right." Milliardo was thoughtful. "Happiness doesn't just fall on your head. You do have to go make it happen. But you don't need handsome princes to be happy, either of you. Find what makes you happy first, and then you can make someone else happy."
"Stories don't have to be like real life though." Amy pressed. "Stories can have magic in them. You can be magically happy."
He kissed her head, and then Meg's, and suddenly light filled the room.
"Hey, the power came back." Milliardo turned off the flashlight.
"Rats." Amy complained. "Now we have to go to sleep."
"Another story." Meg said quickly. "Please, Daddy?"
"No." Lucrezia said from the doorway. "It's almost 11, and even if you don't need to sleep your Daddy does."
Milliardo crossed the room and put his arm around her waist. "But Daddy isn't tired. Daddy has lot of energy right now, as a matter of fact." He nuzzled her neck.
"Ewwww." Meg pronounced.
"Ahem." Lucrezia pushed him away. "We can talk about that in a minute. Help me get them ready for bed."
"He's the one who made me love fantasy." Amy recalled. "We used to play this game where he'd hide the holy grail somewhere in the house and Meg and I would have to go on a holy quest to find it. It was really a beer mug. One time he hid it so well, he forgot where it was. We never did find it."
Gage began to cough into his hand.
"Come to think of it, that was the first time Gage played Grail with us." Amy narrowed her eyes into slits. "Gage..."
"You were not ready for the grail." He intoned. "When you are, then the grail shall appear before you. Or at least a decent copy. I kind of, well, shattered the first one."
Meg rolled her eyes.
"Oh, be reasonable. If it broke that easily it can't possibly have been the real thing."
"Look." Milliardo held the baby up to the window of the limo. "Look out there, Gage. Look at all the lights. See how they reflect in the water? They're all for you tonight, little man. All the lights in the city and all the stars in the sky, and that big moon right there. They're all shining down just for you."
The baby made a noise from inside his blanket, and Milliardo kissed his forehead gently. "It's all yours. The whole world and all the stars. All waiting for you to go out there and claim."
The limo turned a corner, and Milliardo leaned back against the seat, and was quiet for a few minutes. "I love you. I keep telling you that because I don't think you can ever say it enough. Because someday... you might stop believing it. Someday you'll learn the truth, and maybe you'll hate me for it. Maybe you'll think this was easy for me to do." His tears began to fall on the blanket. "But I don't want you to worry. You are going to be the happiest little boy in the world. You're going to have a mother and father to love you and take care of you, and you're going to have everything you could ever want. And I'll be right there too, any time you ever need me. Even if I won't be your Daddy, you'll always be my son."
"Gage?"
I looked up at my mate, who was watching me from the doorway. "Humm?"
"Anything you want to talk about?"
I leaned back, the bonatar dozing in my lap. "It's just been a long day. The hospital says there's been no change yet, no effect from Amy's gene. But it's still early."
He ran a finger down my arm, his skin dark against my own, and my tension eased out of me slowly.
"I fixed up a box in the kitchen for Flour to sleep in." He scratched the baby's head, and Flour gave him a big yawn.
"The kitchen... why can't he sleep with us?" I wanted to know.
"Did you sleep with your parents?" he asked calmly.
"Well, no..."
"Neither did I, and neither will he. I don't want to have to worry about rolling over on him. He'll be fine."
When he looked that much like his father it was useless to argue with him. I carried Flour out to the kitchen, where a very padded box had been set up for him, complete with a hot-water bottle. He woke up enough to sniff around, and gave me a puzzled look.
"Sorry, baby. You have to sleep here. Daddy will come see you first thing in the morning."
By the time I was done refilling his food and water, he was already dozing next to the bottle, and I returned to my room to find Shan turning down the blankets. In the lamp light, the bare muscles of his back rippled. My heart jumped, among other things, and he turned to give me a grin.
"Want to see another reason for putting the kid out of the room?" He asked.
I licked my lips, raking my eyes over him. "Show me."
End Part 19
(:./lasha/street19)
