25-Jul-2001
Title: The Babysitter - The Sleepover
Authors: Wufei is WHAT?!? Productions (Yoiko and Tzigane)
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Type: Humorous Fic-stuffs ~_^v
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG-13? Not sure.
Pairings: None, really. ^_^
Warnings: Cuteness. Wistful longings of a yaoi nature.
Uncontrollable teenage hormones. Chef Boyardee ravioli.
Disclaimers: We don't own Gundam Wing, and the Gundam Wing characters are used here without permission. This is a work of fanfiction, intended solely for entertainment purposes, and is not meant to be taken as a claim to copyright for the elements in the story which were not created by us. Also, we intend no disrespect whatsoever towards the creators and rightful owners of Gundam Wing.
Archive: Gundam Wing Addiction
C&C: Please, feel free. ^_^
"I'm ready!" Heero chirped, smiling even as Mirialdo picked him up and deposited him on the bed with a bounce -- an action which would normally provoke a death threat, at the least. Treize had just finished placing the last of Wufei's things in its *proper* position, and was wiping his brow as the two little ones settled quietly back against the pillows, ready for the movie. Treize hadn't mentioned the broken crayons; with any luck, he'd be able to get away before Wufei noticed. Maybe he'd even be able to sneak a replacement box in without the little Chinese boy knowing the difference -- anything to keep him from having another temper tantrum. Wufei was a sweet little boy... right up until he got angry.
Treize pinched the bridge of his nose, thinking that he couldn't handle another outburst. Grateful for the peace and quiet that was now to ensue, he turned the TV on and started the movie playing...
"HEY!!! THAT'S NOT TERMINATOR!!!"
"It's Peter Pan," Wufei told him sleepily. "I like Peter Pan. I wish he wore white, though. And I wish that stupid Wendy girl was a boy."
"What about Tinkerbell? She's a girl," Miri pointed out, despite the look of panic on Treize's face.
"SHE'S a *FAIRY*," Wufei told Miri as if he wasn't quite bright. "That's *different*. Fairies don't have cooties. Girls do. Well, and maybe Duo. He has girly hair, anyway."
Treize tucked them in carefully, quite tired by then. "Duo doesn't have cooties. And I promise I disinfected Relena so she can't give you cooties, either." On impulse, he leaned down and kissed Wufei's forehead, flushing a bit afterwards. "Uh. Watch your movie, okay? And be good."
Heero crossed his arms and scowled. "I wanted to watch 'Terminator.' "
"Don't pout," Miri said.
"I'm not pouting."
"Then what do you call it?"
"I'm dissatisfied." Heero's scowl deepened, blue eyes narrowing with ire as Miri laughingly brushed his bangs out of the way and kissed his forehead, mirroring Treize's actions with Wufei.
"Well, enjoy the movie anyway," the blond said, immensely pleased with himself.
"Omae o korosu."
Wufei's fingers were already in his mouth as the beginnings of Peter Pan played, his little eyes drooping. "Sleepy," he complained, barely able to keep a watch on the television.
"Let's go, Miri," Treize prompted calmly, turning out the overhead light.
"I wanted to watch 'Terminator'," Heero groused, his own eyes starting to drift shut as Peter Pan flew around the nursery, looking for his shadow. There was a slight little frown on his face as he finally drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the Terminator sprinkling pixie dust and flying off to Neverland.
In the living room, Treize sighed and sank into Chang Wynn's recliner, yawning. "Well, Miri, I guess you get the couch, unless you want to sleep with Duo and Relena...."
"I'll take the couch," Miri replied hastily, giving Treize something of a drowsy glare and clambering onto the overstuffed sofa before Treize could change his mind. After all, he didn't want cooties any more than the others did.
With a sigh, Treize leaned back in the chair, closed his eyes, and dreamed of jobs in interior design, where there were no small children...
Heero woke up suddenly, his dream having been interrupted by the sensation of warm wetness all over his back. His eyes filled with tears as he realized that he had wet the bed! Not only that, but he had wet his *friend's* bed, and now everyone would know he had assidents! He had worked himself into a sobbing frenzy before the realization penetrated that he still needed to go potty, and the wet was on his back instead of his front. But that would mean...
"Wufei?" The whisper was soft and hoarse, followed by a miserable little hiccough as Heero scrubbed at his eyes and turned to face his friend. It was only then that he noted Wufei's shaking, his friend's little face coated with the tears that seemed to be trembling loose faster than his own.
"I-I-I-I," he hiccoughed. "I'm *sorry*!!!"
"It's Ok," Heero said, patting Wufei's shoulder. "It's only an assident. I can fix it."
"I di'n't mean t... t... to w... w... w....wet you!" Wufei sobbed, scrubbing at his face. "I couldn't help it!"
"It's Ok," Heero said, still patting awkwardly. He'd never realized how hard it was to deal with someone who was crying! "It's only a little bit wet," he lied. "I have assidents sometimes, too, but then I fix 'em."
That seemed to capture Wufei's attention and he stopped crying, dark eyes looking at Heero in the grey-sparked glow from the static- crackling television. "How do you fix it?" he sniffed, curious. "Daddy comes in and wakes me up mostly so I don't have an assident..."
"First, we have to take the sheets off the bed and put some new ones," Heero said, firmly assured.
"I got some in the closet," Wufei sniffled, moving away from the wet spot. It was starting to get cold, and he was really uncomfortable.
"Ok," Heero said, and scrambled off the bed, shuddering at the clammy feel of his pajamas against his back. "Bed first." He wrapped his little fists around a corner of the sheet and started pulling.
That brought Wufei up off the bed fairly quickly, the sheets coming off to reveal the rubber beneath it. That made Wufei look at Heero, obviously ashamed, and shrugged. "I don't mean to have assidents. They just happen," he said, mouth puckered into a frown. "I'm sorry I wetted you."
"That's Ok; I have assidents sometimes, too," Heero said, with the little quirk of the lips that passed for his smile. His legs were partly crossed as they finished pulling the sodden sheet off the end of the bed. "I thought it was me that wetted, except I still need to go potty." He crossed to the closet and pulled out a set of clean sheets -- white, of course -- and started wrestling the fitted sheet onto the mattress.
"Daddy puts it on like this," Wufei said, picking up a corner and stuffing the sheet halfway on it. "Daddy is very good at this."
"Dads are smart," Heero said with a little nod, mimicking Wufei's actions. "I'm gonna be a Dad when I grow up."
"Daddies are good things to be," Wufei agreed, squirming slightly. His corners were on the mattress, but he felt so ucky... Making a quick decision, he stripped off his white pajamas and wet underwear, putting them in a ball with the sheets. "That's better."
Heero resolutely tugged the sheet into place, determined to finish changing the bed before he had an assident of his own. Once he picked up the top sheet, Wufei was back to help him put it on the bed.
"What do we do with it now?" his friend asked.
Heero grinned at him. "*Now*, I fix it." He wadded the wet sheets up into a ball and started unbuttoning his pajama front. "You finish making the bed and then go to sleep. And don't look," he said. Certain that Chang Wufei would never violate his privacy, he shimmied out of the pajamas, paused a minute to clamp down on his still-unmet need, then scooped up his bundle, sheets, pajamas and all.
With more stealth than the average catburglar, Heero skulked down the hall with his guilty bundle and dumped it on the floor in front of the washing machine. There. Fixed. Nobody would know there had been an assident. After a quick peek to be sure nobody was looking, he tore back down the hall to the bathroom, locked the door securely behind him, and *finally* relieved himself.
He returned to Wufei's bedroom just as cautiously but at a much more leisurely pace, and since he didn't have anything better to wear, he pulled yesterday's shorts out of the little pile on the floor and tugged them on. Then he crawled into bed.
"Are you still awake?" he whispered.
"Yeah," Wufei whispered, thumb coming unlodged from between his lips. "Thank you for fixing it. You're my true good friend."
"You're my friend, too, Wufei," Heero replied. "Thank you for not peeking at me. G'night." With that, Heero closed his eyes, and within moments he was fast asleep.
Dawn broke gently over the quiet little house, the sun softly pinkening the sky. The tranquility and peace were shattered by twin, ear-piercing screams. Treize shot up like a bolt of lightning and tore down the hallway to the room Duo and Relena had shared, only to find the two youngsters wrapped up in each other's arms and screaming at the top of their lungs.
"YOU BROKE THE INVISIBLE WALL!" Relena shrieked.
"IT'S YOUR FAULT! YOU DID IT!" Duo screamed back.
"MISTER TREIZE! NOW I HAVE COOTIES!" they both howled, and ran to Treize, each of them embracing one of his legs.
Grateful for the dawn peeking in the windows because that meant the children's parents would be home soon, Treize gave a great sigh and picked both of them up, one on each hip. "Well, I tell you what. I have cootie medicine in the kitchen and I'll add some to both of your breakfasts, all right? So you won't have the cooties anymore."
"What's all the noise?" Wufei asked blearily, rubbing at his eyes.
"Cooties," Heero said. Wufei sat up, and saw that Heero had already changed into his fresh clothes for the day, and was struggling with the laces on his shoes, the tip of his tongue stuck out in concentration as the laces stubbornly refused to make a bow.
Wufei slid out of the bed and quickly put on one of his favorite outfits -- white, of course -- and slid a pair of white slippers onto his feet.
"Come on," he said, "Mister Treize can help tie your shoes."
"I can do it," Heero said with a scowl, then sighed and started over again.
"Thank you for fixing it last night," Wufei said.
"No problem." Wufei and Heero shared shy little smiles, then the Chinese boy set off to find Mister Treize, and Heero returned to the task of tying his shoes.
"Did you hear thomething?" Quatre asked.
"No."
"Ok." The blond snuggled back under the covers and went back to sleep.
When Wufei reached the kitchen, he paused and looked around to see what was going on so far this morning.
Relena and Duo sat at opposite ends of the table. Both stuck their tongues out at one another regularly, but they didn't seem awake enough for more mischief than that, especially since Miri sat in the center of the table watching them. Not that Miri looked particularly threatening -- his pale gold hair was a rat's nest and obviously needed to be brushed this morning.
Carefully, Wufei wandered over to the stove and looked up expectantly at Treize. "French toast, Mister Treize?" he asked hopefully, smiling as he tugged at Treize's leg.
"Well, I thought I'd fry up some snips and snails and puppy-dog tails, instead," Treize replied cheerfully -- after all, the parents would be here any minute now, and he'd be able to go home and *sleep* in his *own bed.*
He'd be sure never to get suckered into a fiasco like this again, too.
"Eeew!" Wufei said, wrinkling his nose adorably.
"That's what DUO'S made of!" Relena announced.
"No, it's not!" Duo cried. "It's what stinky GIRLS are made of -- like YOU!"
"WAHHHH!!!!"
"It's too early to cry!" Wufei decided, heading to peer up at her. "You gotta be quiet or Heero won't be able to tie his shoes!"
"I'll go help him," the sleep-snarled Mirialdo decided with a yawn. *Anything* to get him away from his sister's high-pitched wail!
Treize flipped the French toast and shuddered. "Try to wake Quatre and Trowa, too," he suggested. "I'll have breakfast ready soon."
"Yeah, yeah," Mirialdo groused half-heartedly. "No problem, Freckle- snoot." He smirked as he left the room and heard his sister give up crying in favor of a rousing chorus of "Freckle-snoot, Freckle-snoot, it's a wonder he can poot!"
"Hey, Heero," he said as he walked into Wufei's room to find the boy kneeling on the floor, dark head bent in intense concentration over the loops of his shoelaces.
"Here, lemme help you with-" Miri began.
"Don't touch me!" Heero snapped, and glared up at him. "You made me mess it up; now I have to start all over again."
"If you would just let me help-"
"*I* can do it!" Heero announced stubbornly. "Lemme alone." Miri huffed in exasperation and stalked down the hall to the room Trowa and Quatre had shared.
When he arrived, they were snuggled warmly under the covers, sweetly sleeping side by side like the little angels they so often pretended to be!
"Hey, get up," Miri said, shaking Trowa's shoulder.
"Nnn?"
"There's French toast for breakfast."
Trowa sat up and Quatre opened his eyes. "Fwench toast?"
"Yeah. Treize's..."
Two pajama-clad forms raced out of the bed and past him before he could finish his sentence.
"...making it now..."
Miri shook his head, and travelled back down the hallway, poking his head into Wufei's room. Heero was still bent over his shoes, frowning in fierce concentration.
"You'll never get those tied," he said.
"I can do it!" Heero snapped, glaring up at him with an adorably furious pout.
"Those are trick shoelaces. They can only be tied by people more than three feet tall."
"But my Mama would never put trick shoelaces on my shoes," the little boy said suspiciously.
"Somebody else must've done it, then," Miri said. "Probably trying to fool you. If you let me tie your shoelaces, then *they'll* be the ones fooled."
"Oh." Heero sullenly stuck his feet out as Miri knelt, and allowed the older boy to tie his shoes. All he had to do was look to see who, among his friends, would be surprised by the fact that his shoes were neatly tied, and then he'd know who the culprit was.
Miri didn't dare offer a hand to help pull Heero up, but he was pleasantly surprised when little fingers curled around his own. Heero held his hand right up until they made it to the kitchen doorway, then he froze. Treize, Wufei, Duo, Relena, Trowa and Quatre were *all* staring at his feet in mute shock. They must have *all* been part of the Trick-Shoelaces Plot!
"YOU ALL HATE ME!" Heero wailed, and ran back down the hallway, crying piteously.
Confusion set in, Wufei toddling forward to check on Heero. Unfortunately, he was pushed out of the way by the more rapidly travelling Duo and Relena, both of whom were in a hurry to comfort the crying boy. Wufei fell onto his bottom, smack in the middle of the floor, and promptly began to tear up -- and to wail.
Wufei was *very* good at wailing.
Quatre and Trowa slid down from their chairs, intent on comforting the inconsolable Wufei; Trowa accidentally knocked over his plate on the way, and it fell to the floor and shattered. Trowa burst into tears because he'd broken the plate, and Quatre wrapped his arms around the thin boy, crying because it broke his heart to see Trowa cry. The two boys sank to the floor, bawling in a bizarre counterpoint to Wufei's wailing. Relena and Duo came running into the kitchen, crying because Heero had locked himself in the bathroom and threatened to kill them both.
Miri laughed, and wondered what Freckle-snoot would do to put *this* mess to rights...
...and that was when the front door opened, and a group of confused parents walked in.
"PRINCESS!!" was the first yell, Relena's parents scurrying in to pick up their wailing daughter and comfort her, looking askance at Treize.
"What did he do THIS time?" Duo's tired father asked.
Quatre's mother simply looked confused. "Oh, dear... don't cry like that, sweetling, don't cry..."
Four young children threw themselves at their parents, each weeping and wailing so uncontrollably that not a word of their explanations made any sense.
"I-*sob!*-bwoke-*sob!*-the pwate! -*sob!*"
"I thaw-*sob!*-him crying-*sob!*-an' it-*sob!* made me thad! -*sob!*"
"He-*sob!*-locked himself in the BATHROOM! *sob!* An' said-*sob!*-I had COOTIES! And-*sob!*-mean old-*sob*-Freckle-snoot-*sob!* PULLED MY HAIR!"
"It wasn't my fault!" Duo cried at last, scrubbing at his eyes with his little fists. "I didn't do *anything* bad!"
"I fell on my bottom," Wufei whimpered as his father gathered him up into his arms, looking towards a helpless Treize.
The teenager looked to be on the verge of tears himself, and the smell of burning eggs and bread made him turn quickly to twist the gas stove off.
"They all just started crying...!!"
"Because Heero was," Mirialdo offered. "And Treize didn't pull Relena's hair, he brushed it, but she *squirmed*." No way he was going to let Freckle-snoot take the fall for *THAT*!
"Where *is* Heero?" Mrs. Yuy asked, concerned.
"I-*sob!* TOLD you already!" Relena wailed. "He...-*sob!*- he...- *sob!*- locked himself in the bathroom! And Treize pulled my hair on PURPOSE! And he wouldn't let me have any ravioli! And he made me sleep with a BOY!" The overwrought little girl buried her face against her daddy's shoulder, sobbing pitifully as Heero's mother walked down the hallway towards the bathroom.
"That'th not fair!" Quatre cried, brushing the tears from his eyes.
"Yeah," Trowa agreed. "You'we the one who put waviowi awl ovew the pwace, Wewena."
"And you methed it in your own hair, tho you can't blame Mithter Treithe for that," Quatre said staunchly.
"I still need my anti-Cootie medicine," Duo interrupted crossly. "Because SHE broke the invisible force field!"
"Dear, maybe you'd better talk to him," Heero's mother said as she returned. "He won't open the door; he only said something about cooties and trick shoelaces, and everybody hating him."
"Hn," Mr. Yuy said, and stalked off down the hallway, wondering where his son had gotten that paranoid streak -- surely it didn't come from *his* side of the family!
"Relena was *bad*," Wufei whispered in his father's ear. "And I wet the bed, but Heero took care of it so nobody knew."
Chang Wynn smiled sympathetically at Treize as his wife moved forward to take Wufei from him. "Well, you seem to have had your hands full," he said solemnly.
"Yes, sir," Treize whispered, mortified. Ohhh, to be so humiliated in front of Wufei's father!
"It doesn't seem like it was anything that could be helped, though," Quatre's mother twittered. "Poor pet, I know it was terrible to see Trowa cry, but now you're both going to stop, all right?"
Like magic, Quatre's tears dried up, leaving only a sniffle. "Yeth, Mommy..."
Treize pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering why he hadn't thought of that. Now that it was quiet, he could hear Mr. Yuy's voice carrying down the hall.
"Son, open the door."
"I don't want to."
"I know you had a rough night, but it's time to come out now, so we can go home." The door softly creaked open, and a few minutes later Mr. Yuy returned, with Heero riding on his shoulders. Heero wrapped his little fingers in his father's thick hair, and dared to smile slightly. There was no way Duo or Relena could reach him up here.
"It was no fun," he said. "Everybody kept touching me. And Wufei and I were good, but we still didn't get to watch 'Terminator'."
"But did you kill anyone, son?"
"No, sir."
"Ninmu kanryo."
Heero beamed at that, leaning down to half-hug his father's head.
"Is it all right if we come back to pick up the rest of his things later?" Mrs. Yuy asked, pulling Heero's overnight bag up over her shoulder.
"Of course," Wufei's father replied, nodding as the rest of the parents worked on getting their children's things together.
"Freckle-snoot was mean to me, and Miri let him be!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Is the caw outside? I wanna go home and see Wuff," Trowa demanded, having missed his dog. Wufei didn't *have* a pet...
"We can go home now," sighed his father, picking him up and winking at Quatre's mother. The little blond had dropped his head on her shoulder and fallen fast asleep.
"I didn't even destroy nothin'," Duo said proudly. "Really! Relena made a bigger mess'n me..."
Treize stumbled through the front door of his house, fist clutched around the money he'd earned.
"Well, good morning, dear," his mother said, as he leaned in to kiss her cheek. "You look positively shell-shocked. Did it go well?"
"Mother, I love you," Treize said.
"I love you, too, dear."
"And I know you want to be a grandmother some day..."
"Oh, goodness, yes. Just as soon as you find a lovely girl to settle down with..."
"Mother."
"Yes, dear?"
"I am *never* having children as long as I live."
The End
(:./yoiko/sitter6)
