13-Aug-2000
Title: Silencing the Soldier
Author: Asuka
Archive: If you want to, just ask.
Feedback: Always welcome!! Come on, I *live* off of it!
Pairing: 2x1
Warnings: Yaoi, Dark, Angst, POV, Lemon, a tad of Sap?
Disclaimer: Nothing's mine but the storyline... No profit made so don't sue! "Seven" is by Sunny Day Real Estate.
Notes: Oh god, who *knows* where this bit came from! -_-* Lyrics in [blah], subconcious dialect in {{blah}}, emphasis in *blah*, thoughts in /blah/. This is my *first* attempt for a lemon, so I'm sorry if it's terrible!! Thanks to Lizard-neechan for beta-ing this!
*grins* Hey minna-san... Just de-lurking to post this little bit of weirdness. I wanna give a huge 'Thank you' out to all the people who responded to my last fic... I love you guys!!! ^^ And gomen I haven't been able to respond to the people in the gwml... Egroups and their evil 'web-only' mode deletes the half end of everyone's email addys, so I never can respond!! ><
[ Sew it on ]
Midnight chill ran deep through my blood. I could see the pitch black sky looming over, the moon smiling smugly; seeming to mock at the streams that glittered down my cheeks. Crying...
[ Face the fool ]
"Heero...?" came the tentative call.
I angrily pulled the curtains back over the windows, hastily rubbing the tears from my eyes. He couldn't see. No one could. My back was still turned as the knocks on the door frame echoed through the already open room. Positioning the facade I'd made for myself perfectly into place, I turned to face him.
[ December's tragic drive ]
"What is it?"
He paused. I could see the hesitation dancing across his lips. "Um... We have a mission. Quatre said to be ready within 30 minutes, then we'll take off."
I nodded, a simple and curt acknowledgement that I'd registered his words.
[ When time is poetry and ]
He gave me a wary smile before bounding out of the doorway, down the dim halls. Had he suspected anything? I looked into the mirror. It was cracked. The intricate mask I'd created had chipped. Maybe he knew...
Reaching for the gun on my dresser, I slowly spied out the window once more. She was still there. Only this time, her children were with her, a canopy of stars gleaming at me, knowing. More spectators of the puppet show, I mused.
[ Stolen the world outside ]
I glared at her - the moon. She still shone despite my misery. Despite everything. Frustrated, I whirled around, promptly striding out of my room.
He was calling me.
[ The waiting could crush my heart ]
I sat in the cockpit of my Gundam, readjusting the holster straps for the seventh time, reading and re-reading the data displayed on the monitor system.
Things weren't going as planned. The enemy was late. The others had separated. At the moment, they were quietly stalking around the premise for any signs or notions.
Something flashed in the corner of the screen. They were coming.
[ The tide breaks a wave of fear ]
"Shit! Duo, get out of there!" The lights in Wing Zero's cockpit blinked slowly, and I could hear a crackle coming from the speakers.
An icon flashed on the monitor, his picture popping up. "Hm? Did you say something, Heero?"
He hadn't heard. It was too late for anything now - the air was already lit with the enemy's beams. They were closing in on him... I willed Wing over to his aid, but a group of Aries locked me at my place. No... I must get to him...
{{Why? He's only another casualty.}}
I could feel the soldier kicking in. Now was not the time - Duo's life was in danger. I shoved the soldier side away. I couldn't have him blurring my thoughts. But maybe I was already doing that by myself.
/K'so... I'll never make it in time./ The Leos were still approaching him, and he could never flee, for 2 Tauruses had pinned his arms together with no weapon in hand.
Just as the pack of lions were about to close in for the kill, a slightly greenish mecha swept through the gang, taking out the majority of the machines and freeing him.
"Ah, thanks Wu-man! You saved my ass!"
"Don't call me that, Maxwell!"
I could hear Duo's teasing through the comm link. At least that was over with. I let the soldier slip into place. The mission, the mission...
[ And brave songs disappear to the secret ]
We were all exhausted as we bounded into the current safehouse, tiredly dragging our battered limbs into the shelter, retiring into our rooms.
Midnight, again. The bewitching hour. I sighed as I peeled the green tank over my head, sticky from perspiration. The room was dark and silent, and I put the soldier to rest for the night. I suddenly felt myself being shoved to the mattress, a pair of amaryllis orbs shining down into mine.
"Ne, Hee-chan... You up for it?"
I gave a silent "Hn" as I felt his mouth working its way down my chest, the brushing of fabric as clothes were discarded. He reached up to kiss me tenderly on the lips before resuming tracing odd patterns down my torso with his tongue. He descended deeper, parting my thighs with his knee, taking my already hardening member into his mouth, sucking and teasing at it. I grasped onto the back of his head, clutching soft tendrils of his hair as he took the entirety of my aching shaft into his warm mouth. Beginning to moan, I thrashed beneath him, begging to be taken.
"Duo... please..."
A predatory sheen blazed in his amethyst gems, a smile crossing those delectable lips.
[ Voice of dawn this last time ]
I could feel a lubricated finger slip into my depths, searching. A second was inserted as he bent forward to take my lips, our tongues sparring, his fingers still probing. I wrapped my arms around his slim waist, pulling his lithe form close to mine. His skin was so soft beneath my fingetips, beautiful and unblemished.
I gasped sharply, a tiny spasm echoing through my body as the fireworks exploding in my head. Duo grinned, obviously finding what he was looking for. He continued to touch that place before his digits left. Raising my legs over his shoulders, he began to pump into me, groaning sounds of pleasure.
[ Raise my eyes ]
I looked up to see his face, illuminated gently by the same moon that had jeered at me before. He looked like an angel, his hair unbound like a thick waterfall of chestnut, sweat shimmering his firm porcelain body, a faint blush radiating across his cheeks. I saw the desire scribbled on him as he thrust into me in timed beats, synchronistically stroking my erection.
[ You'll taste it in time ]
He began working faster, each plunge hitting the spot that drove me past the edge.
"Oh God... Heero!!"
We both came at the same time, white hot erupting from our bodies. He sighed, carefully sliding himself from within. He was always careful, trying not to hurt me. But what he didn't know was that it hurt even more when he left at the end. I always felt empty without him, even when he held me close, but not as much.
Duo licked the liquid passion from us, snuggling against me. I could taste both of us in the recesses of his mouth.
[ The right words in time ]
"You know I... *care* about you, right?"
I could hear the soldier snickering with the cool breeze. "Hai," I replied, trying to shut him off. No, I didn't want him here now; I didn't *need* him here. I knew Duo was trying to tell me something more, but our present circumstances wouldn't allow it, especially not in the condition either of us was in. No matter how much I wanted to hear it... Instead of acknowledging the warrior's malicious presence, I draped a possessive arm around Duo's waist, using the rhythmic beat of his heart as a lullaby to send the soldier away and myself to sleep.
[ The mirrors lie those aren't my eyes ]
Back in my prison cell of a room, I peered into that same damned mirror. The mirror that told all.
There wasn't a hint of emotion on my face. Not a sliver of light shone in my eyes, not like his. Mine were dead, void of anything. It wasn't like this before. This wasn't me - not the true one.
The soldier was taking over, infesting my soul with his constraints.
[ Destroy them raise my hand ]
This couldn't happen; I wouldn't let it. The soldier only laughed, a gruesome smirk etched across his mouth.
{{Did you think you could win?}}
"....."
{{Such a foolish boy, you know he wouldn't want you. Not in the way you'd hoped.}}
"....."
{{You're only a release, don't you get it? A war comfort. Nothing more, nothing less.}}
My hand clenched white.
{{You're not wanted. You've never been wanted. Even that girl, she only wishes to possess you, an object she can keep. And *he* certainly doesn't... Never. It'll never happen to you. Do you hear me? Never. Not in the past, not now, and the future holds nothing. You will end when the war ends. Understand?}}
"....."
{{Well do you?}}
It was the breaking point. The fist darted out sharply, shattering the mirror into tiny flints of glass. My hand was soaked crimson, leaking onto the carpet and shards below. And in the tiny pieces of glass, the soldier continued to laugh.
[ Reflected in savage ]
He was hushed by the presence of the braided boy now in the room. He looked at me through confused eyes, turning his gaze to the shattered mosaic on the ground.
"Heero..." he whispered, cautiously taking my bloodied hand into his. After examining it, he retrieved the medical kit from the bathroom, softly bandaging the red, raw flesh.
He looked at me, concerned.
[ Shards a new face a ]
"Why?"
"I don't know... The soldier..."
His eyes shifted to mine, and I knew he could see right through me. All it took was those two simple words, and he understood completely.
"I know, Heero. You don't need to tell me. I'm still haunted by him too, sometimes."
"I can't stop him. He keeps eating into me, and I..." My body shook, and I felt the all-too-familiar wetness from my eyes again. His hand leapt up to caress my cheek, lightly brushing the droplets away.
"It's hard to let go of him, isn't it? But you can do it."
"How do you know?" I scowled.
"Because I learned to."
"Is it easy?"
"No, it never is. Sometimes he tries to capture me, as well. But I can help you. We can help each other..."
He paused.
"Heero, I..."
I knew he couldn't continue. It wasn't the time. Words like those couldn't be said or used until we learned to conquer our demons and began to reconstruct one another.
I turned my gaze to him, searching behind those eyes that never lied. And in their reflection, I could see a light returning to mine, and I could hear the soldier's mask shatter to the ground.
[ Soul reborn ]
~owari~
(:./asuka/soldier)
