05-Oct-2004
Title: Trace 1/1
Author: Sol 1056
Archived: gwaddiction exclusive
Critiques: welcome, of course
Disclaimer: the usual
Note: for the GWA Angst 2004 contest
"Don't think twice before you listen to your heart
Follow the trace for a new start
What you need and everything you'll feel... "
--- Enigma
Duo looked up from the sink at the sound of the knock on the door. He frowned, and shook the soapsuds off his hands, absently grabbing a towel on the way to the living room.
"We expecting company?" He asked Hilde, who gave him a puzzled look over the edge of the laptop.
"Tomorrow?" Hilde pursed her lips. "Mother said she'd arrive on Tuesday. Today's still Monday, isn't it?"
The knock came again, followed by the doorbell. Duo rolled his eyes and checked the peephole. All he could see was one big blue eye, the color of oceans he remembered from earth. He yanked the door open to find Quatre grinning from ear-to-ear. Trowa was beside Quatre, with Heero on their other side. Voices could be heard down the hall.
"Hey, guys, this--" Duo barely had a chance to get the words out, and the three were shoving past him, dropping duffel bags on the floor. He accepted the quick hug from Quatre, the reticent nod from Trowa, and the beaming smirk from Heero, answering them all with a bewildered look.
Hilde stood up, slowly, her hand on her lower back for support. Quatre's grin went up about two hundred watts.
"You're huge!" He stepped forward, then hesitated. "Can I hug you?"
"Don't squeeze too tight," Hilde warned, and opened her arms. "I might pop."
Duo grumbled something inaudible.
"Chill, Duo." Heero paused, and chuckled at his friend's irritation. "Soon you'll be getting laid again."
"Hey... " Duo flushed, guiltily, and Heero's smirk grew wider.
"We're here!" Relena appeared in the doorway, and launched herself at Duo, hugging him tightly. "We're not too late, are we?"
"I think we're early," Wufei said, stepping through the door behind her. He eyed Hilde, currently in a sideways hug with Heero and Trowa. The two men had their hands on her tummy, and were looking amazed while Hilde winced at every kick from the baby. Wufei arched an eyebrow at Duo. "I thought you said the delivery date was Tuesday?"
"It's in two weeks, so not tomorrow, but... two weeks," Duo said, and scratched his head while Relena untangled from him. "We don't really need you here yet, y'know."
"Someone has to be here," Relena replied, patting him on the shoulder before going to greet Hilde.
"Hil's mother will be here tomorrow," Duo said, staring down at the pile of duffel bags and small overnight bags growing by the front door. "Ah... is everyone staying here?"
"Why not?" Hilde gave Duo a severe look. "These are the godparents. We can't make them stay at a hotel!"
"Hil," Duo said, a bit helplessly. He scowled, and scuffed the floor with a toe. "We have one bedroom," he muttered, sotto voce, trying to ignore Quatre, Relena and Wufei looking back and forth between him and Hilde.
"We'll figure it out," Hilde said, and grinned up at Trowa and Heero. They hadn't really paid too much attention to the mini-argument, too entranced by the continuing action under the palms of their hands.
"Stop fondling her," Duo growled. Heero smirked, Trowa rolled his eyes, and Duo glowered, then stomped past to throw the dishtowel on the kitchen countertops. "I just had to end up with an extrovert," he told the empty kitchen.
Hilde's mother was less than impressed to arrive the next day to find four men in various states of undress and the Vice Minister in flannel pajamas.
"You're having a baby," she sniffed to her daughter, in the privacy of the bedroom-slash-nursery. "Not a sleepover."
"Mother," Hilde sighed. "It's Duo's family. I don't think we could keep them out if we barricaded the entire building."
"Gundam pilots," Mother replied. "They're too dangerous. And the Vice Minister! She's... " The woman, Hilde's duplicate in height but with about fifty pounds more than her daughter, shook her head, gray hair waving at the quick motion. "I can't believe she's almost as disreputable as them. I heard that joke she was telling them, about a dachshund, a catholic priest and a bartender... "
Hilde laughed, which turned into a coughing fit at her mother's sharp look. "Mother," Hilde said, in a more serious tone. "Relena's good people. They all are. They're not the most conventional, but neither is Duo."
"I'm aware of that," Mother sniffed. She straightened the cameo around her neck, fluffed her hair a little, and sailed from the room.
Hilde watched her mother leave, and did her best to hide the smug expression. Her mother might not be too certain about an ex-terrorist as a son-in-law, or four more in the living room, but she wasn't immune to the notion of five quite handsome men doing their best to ingratiate themselves into her good graces. Her mother just planned to milk it for as long as possible.
Shaking her head at the entire situation, Hilde winced and automatically grabbed the bottle from the dresser, tapping out four pills and downing them dry. It wouldn't make the headache go away completely, but it would lessen it enough for her to cover the rest with an excuse of being a little tired. She knew after a good half-hour of listening to Trowa and Heero tag-team on Duo - aided and abetted by Wufei at odd moments - she'd be laughing too hard to care about a small headache, anyway.
"I'm not sure everyone is required for the final check-up," Dr. Weston said, a bit gravely.
Her gray eyes traveled over the four young men, flanking the young couple, and landed on the two women standing at Hilde's shoulders. One was definitely Hilde's mother; the other was instantly recognizable from the news reports. Relena Peacecraft Darlian was whispering with Hilde, and the two looked like nothing more than old college friends. Dr. Weston raised her eyebrows at Duo, who shrugged, as though he wouldn't be able to lend her a hand in the least. Hilde looked up, and grinned.
"Don't worry, Dr. Weston," Hilde said. "They're very well-behaved. Most of them are even house-trained."
"Except Duo," Heero grunted, under his breath.
Duo scowled.
"I'm still working on him," Hilde replied, not missing a beat. "If Wufei can do it, so can my Duo."
Duo started to beam at the last words, registered the meaning, and narrowed his eyes at Heero. "This is your influence," he muttered in an aside.
"I like Hilde," Trowa said, to no one in particular.
Wufei growled something about Hilde's parentage but the last parts were lost in a mumbled apology when Hilde's mother caught his eye.
"Right. Well," Dr. Weston said, calling the group's attention back to her. "If you could just wait here, I'll see the parents and have you on your way in no time." The pilots and the Vice Minister stepped back, but Hilde's mother stepped forward. Dr. Weston set her shoulders. "The parents directly involved," she said, politely, and the older woman took the hint with a disgruntled look.
Inside her office, Hilde scrambled up on the examination bed, assisted by Duo. "Thanks, Doc," she said. "My mom's been great, but she's getting a little protective. It's driving me crazy."
"Parents are like that," Dr. Weston said, still reviewing the chart from the previous neonatal visit. "Husbands can be, too," she added, glancing towards Duo.
"Naw," Duo said, leaning against the exam table and crossing his arms. He grinned wickedly at the doctor. "I'm not here to protect Hil. She can kick ass on her own. I'm just here to provide sperm and ice cream."
"Duo," Hilde hissed, and punched him in the shoulder.
"Ow," Duo replied, without an ounce of pain in his voice. In fact, his smile seemed to grow wider. "Mint chocolate chip, when we're done."
"With sprinkles."
Dr. Weston hid a smile. Their youth had had her worried - Hilde was petite, and with slim hips, Dr. Weston had been concerned about the possibility of obstructed delivery. Fortunately, Hilde was also in excellent health, and from the questions called in by Duo on an almost-weekly basis, Dr. Weston suspected ice cream was far less of a regular thing than the couple's jokes indicated. Duo certainly had taken diet very seriously, and the chart showed Hilde's weight gaining at a reasonable rate but not to the excess that many young mothers did.
"First, I'm going to have Elizabeth take more blood, and we'll get a urine sample for--"
"Hilde?" Duo's voice wasn't joking, but the breathless confusion of someone shocked.
Dr. Weston looked up to see Hilde's head pulled back, her chin up. Her eyes were bulging.
"She's not breathing, Doctor," Duo said. One hand was on Hilde's wrist, the other on her neck. "Doctor?"
"Seizure," Dr. Weston said, throwing the chart to the desk and grabbing a roll of gauze. She slammed a fist down on the emergency button. "Get her jaw open!"
A thin trickle of blood appeared in the corner of Hilde's mouth. Duo pushed his fingers between her lips, grunting at the effort of prizing her mouth open. Dr. Weston rolled up the gauze and shoved it in.
Elizabeth threw the door open. "Dr. Weston, is--"
"Call the OR," Dr. Weston said. Hilde was starting to shake, the muscles in her face - eyes, lips, nose, forehead - contracting and relaxing in rapid intervals. Duo held Hilde's face, calling her name under his breath while her body arched into an impossible curve. She hadn't made a sound the entire time. Her face was turning blue. "Eclampsia," Dr. Weston said, and pushed Hilde away from Duo, turning her so she was lying down on the gurney.
"Code five," Elizabeth yelled down the hallway. "Notify OR, eclampsia, late stages--" Someone could be heard shouting, and Dr. Weston pulled Duo away, placing his hands on the gurney. Elizabeth joined him.
"Let's get her moving," Dr. Weston said. With a solid kick, she undid the back brakes on the gurney. The three shoved the bed through the door, angling quickly down the hallway.
"Elevator!" A nurse shouted, darting in front of them, paperwork in her hands.
"Holding!" Someone in the elevator waved. Dr. Weston ignored the pounding in her chest, pushing the gurney inside. "Clear?" The person said.
"Clear," Dr. Weston replied, and the person hit the button for the doors to slide closed. Hilde's body had collapsed, and she was breathing again. The blue tint slowly drained from her face, and she lay peacefully sleeping. "Has she done this before? Ever? Any chance?"
Duo shook his head, unable to take his eyes away from Hilde. He put a hand out, on her stomach, and massaged gently. With the other hand he pulled the blood-soaked gauze from her mouth.
"I don't know," he said, quietly. "But once or twice I went in to wake her from a nap and she didn't wake up right away. First time I thought she'd passed out in the chair, but she was so cranky--"
"Combative," Dr. Weston whispered. "Has she mentioned water retention? Stomach or chest pains? Extreme reflexive reactions?"
"No, no... I don't know what you mean," Duo said, not looking up from Hilde's pale face. "But... she's had a lot of headaches. That's it, though."
"Headaches," Dr. Weston said. "She's got pre-eclampsia, Duo."
"What does that mean?"
"We're delivering the baby, now."
Duo looked up in surprise. "You can't just give her something? She's not due for two weeks--"
The elevator doors slid open. Three nurses and two interns were ready to pull the gurney out. It was yanked from Duo's hands. He dashed after Dr. Weston, who was barking out chart summaries for the patient. Her white lab coat was off, tossed to the side in preparation for surgical scrubbing.
"It happens, Duo," Dr. Weston said. "I'm sorry. There's no cure, except to deliver the baby. Immediately. Wait here." She gave him a stern glance, then strode through the doors behind the gurney.
She turned at the end of the hallway, into the pre-op rooms, and could see the young former terrorist was still standing where she'd left him. His face was stricken, confused, and so child-like for once, stripped of its normal sarcastic humor. Dr. Weston paused, seeing the other pilots appearing, one by one, to stand around him.
Sighing, she went in to change and scrub down. She might not be the surgeon on duty, but she wasn't going to leave her patient's side.
"Relena's coming with Mrs. Schiebeker," Heero said, quietly. "Duo? What--"
"Seizure," Duo replied, his eyes never leaving the double doors. The porthole showed chaos down the hallway, a controlled choreography of people who knew what they were doing. Hilde's gurney had disappeared into one of the rooms. Duo's hands clenched into fists.
Trowa looked down at Duo, only an inch or two shorter, and for once he could see the emotion on Duo's face that he'd only been able to sense under Duo's persona in the past. There was no joking, no laughter, no excessive gestures. Duo was perfectly still, poised, his eyes large in his face, his attention completely focused. Trowa shifted to stand closer, putting away his usual mild animosity towards the more animated pilot in favor of offering some subtle form of support. Duo's head jerked imperceptibly at the movement, and Trowa froze.
Heero narrowed his eyes at Trowa, and Wufei came to stand in front of Duo. Quatre remained on the side, his gaze traveling around the OR lobby, suspiciously devoid of people, for once.
"Duo," Wufei said, calmly. "The doctors are taking care of it, right? We should sit down."
Duo didn't say anything, but seemed to stare through Wufei.
"Duo, please," Heero said, tentatively putting a hand on Duo's shoulder. The muscles stiffened under his touch. Trowa held his breath, waiting for the reflexive punch they were all expecting. Duo merely nodded, though, and Heero let out a small breath at the same time as Trowa. "Come on," Heero coaxed, turning Duo away from the door. "There're seats over--"
A scream echoed down the hallway, muffled only slightly by the doors. A second one followed, a cry of pain unlike anything Trowa had heard except in nightmares. Duo whipped around and lunged for the door. Heero grabbed instinctively. He caught Duo's braid, but quickly transferring his hold to the back of Duo's shirt. Trowa caught Duo by the arm.
"No!" Wufei body-checked Duo, shoving him backwards, away from the doors. "The doctors are--"
"She's in pain," Duo choked out, that mile-long stare going right through Wufei. "She needs me," he begged, thrashing against Trowa's and Heero's hold. Quatre caught Duo by the other arm. Heero slammed against Duo's back, clasping his arms around Duo's waist. "I'll protect her," Duo said, as another scream filled the empty lobby.
"The doctors," Wufei insisted. He shoved Duo backwards again, but it was taking all four of them to hold Duo at bay.
"I protected her before," Duo said, his voice rising, choked, determined. He yanked on Trowa's hold, almost freeing himself. Trowa recovered and grabbed the arm again. Quatre grunted, clinging to Duo on the other side.
A fourth shriek came, going up in pitch to a high keen, fading away and coming back in a hoarse cry.
"I've got to--" Duo blinked, and his gaze focused on Wufei. "Please," he whispered, flinching when another scream sounded. "I know you would... "
Wufei was silent, his hands against Duo's chest.
"The doctors," Wufei tried, one last time.
Duo lowered his head, and spoke through gritted teeth. "Please... "
Wufei closed his eyes, and stepped back. Trowa glared, and shook his head. Heero tightened his hold, and Quatre pulled Duo backwards.
"Wufei," Quatre snapped. "He'll only get in the way. He stays here."
"Maybe," Wufei said. "And no. Let go." Quatre shook his head, and Duo growled, looking past them again towards the doors. Wufei frowned, and punched Quatre. Duo's arm was freed immediately when Quatre fell back a step, his hand to his face. Trowa had loosened his own grip in shock at Wufei's action. Duo twisted in Heero's arms, elbowing Heero sharply. A second later he'd slammed into the doors, shoving through them.
An alarm sounded in the hallway. Red lights flashed over the doors.
"Fuck," Quatre swore, still holding his nose. "Goddamnit, Wufei, he's only going to--"
"If anything happens and he's not there," Wufei said, rounding on Quatre angrily, "he'd never--"
"Enough," Trowa interrupted, putting a hand out, between them. He didn't look their way, though, watching Duo's progress towards the operating rooms. "We've done enough."
"Guys!" Relena's voice came from behind them. "The surgeon intern on duty said it's eclampsia and they're doing an emergency delivery and where is Duo?"
Hilde's mother was beside Relena, panting desperately. She clung to Relena's hand, all pretense of formality gone. Her eyes were wide, the blue of Hilde's eyes in an older, frightened face.
"He's gone to her," Heero said.
Trowa sighed, seeing calm return in the hallway beyond the doors. One of the automatic doors hung askew on its hinges, still swinging a little in the wake of Duo's passing only a second or two before. He turned to give Relena a tiny smile, but there was no warmth or humor in it.
"We wait," he said.
The room was quiet, filled with the sounds of soft breathing, a quick lightness unlike the second set of breathing, heavy and deep. Heero pushed the door open after a pause, and took a moment to loosen his tie. Quatre had ushered the rest of the group off to the shuttle port, and now Heero was the only guest remaining.
He stepped into the bedroom, noting the still figure perched on the edge of the bed. It seemed alien to see Duo dressed formally, the shoulders of Quatre's spare suit just a little wide on Duo's slender frame.
"Your son is beautiful," Heero said, moving to stand by the bassinet. The child was sleeping; fists curled into little balls, tucked under his chin. Heero reached down to run a finger across the child's soft forehead, and ruffled the few dark hairs clinging to the boy's scalp.
Duo shifted, but didn't look up from staring at the wall, or the space between them, or nothing in particular.
"She's gone," Duo said, his voice loud in the room. He frowned, as if waking up. "They were putting the mask over her face and she looked at me and smiled and then her eyes closed and--"
It all came tumbling out, and Heero knelt down on the ground at Duo's feet, uncertain as to what else he could do but listen. Duo had remained silent since that moment he'd bolted through the doors, silent for the days afterwards, silent despite Relena's exhortations and Mother Schiebeker's wailing, silent as the child cried, silent... Heero waited.
"--There were two screens and someone yelled about going into attack and I realized one screen, the line was flat and the other jumping and I realized it was heart rate and I hadn't said anything to her and I couldn't protect--"
Duo cut off. He never blinked, and his hands, placed palm-down on his thighs, twitched but didn't tense. His shoulders were slumped. The baby shifted, gurgling in its sleep, and Duo frowned again.
"I can't cry," he told Heero, sounding more astonished and tired than upset. "I'm a damn bastard, that I can't even cry."
Heero nodded, and swallowed hard.
"I wish I... " Duo blinked a few times, and shook himself, then looked down at Heero. His eyes widened. "Heero? Why... what... " One hand came up, and Duo's eyebrows raised as if startled by his own unconscious movement. Carefully he wiped away the tears caught in Heero's eyelashes. Raising his hand, he stared at the wetness, fascinated and puzzled. "Why... "
"I'll do it for you," Heero said. He lowered his head, and took a deep breath. "Get some sleep, Duo. You're exhausted."
"I should be crying, not you," Duo insisted.
"There'll be time for that, later." Heero shifted, coming to his feet. He put his hands on Duo's tie, and carefully loosened it, pulling it from the collar in a swift but gentle move. Pushing the coat off Duo's shoulders, he laid it on the bed. "You need sleep, now."
"But Matthew," Duo replied, making no move to stop Heero nor help him. "I can't--"
"I'll do it," Heero said. He pulled off Duo's shoes, then guided Duo to lie down, awkwardly pulling the comforter over on top of Duo. "I'm a godparent now. This is part of the job."
"Always a mission," Duo muttered, a spark of his old self coming back.
"Not always," Heero said, and tucked the blanket around Duo. He moved to the bassinet, checking on the baby one last time, then clicked off the lamp on the dresser. "Sleep, Duo. I'll be here when you wake."
"I couldn't protect her," Duo whispered. "She's gone. What do I do now, if I can't even mourn her?"
"Love your son," Heero replied, and let the door swing softly shut behind him.
fini
(:./sol/trace)
