22-Apr-2000
Here is the prologue to the fic that just hit me over the head a
couple of days ago. Enjoy! C&C aren't just appreciated, they are
required. Please be harsh because that's the only way I can improve
as a writer. However, while constructive criticism is much
appreciated, flames will be used to heat my dorm! Oh yeah, this is
AU (or at least it will be eventually), probably very OOC and sort of
deathfic. I won't say more seeing as I don't want to give it away :)
So, on with the PROLOGUE!!!!
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is NOT mine. I'm not making any money off of
this. If you sue, you'll get my dirty socks, so don't bother.
Warnings: angst, some language, and shounen-ai
<<..>> Indicates flashback
They were screaming at each other. Again. It seemed that a day could not go by without Heero finding some fault or other with Duo. It was as if the Japanese teenager had finally had his fill of the braided American and was trying his damnedest to drive him away. After the war ended, they had decided to stay together, probably because both of them were comfortable with the present arrangement of things, rather than out of deep emotional attachment.
At least on Heero's part. Duo loved him, deeply and selflessly and had told that to the other pilot on many occasions. There had never been any kind of response. Duo wasn't particularly thrilled but he figured that the best he could get out of the homicidal/suicidal maniac was to not get killed for saying the "L" word in the first place. And so Duo had stayed with his friend and lover throughout the war and afterwards, when it didn't occur to either of them to break this odd relationship.
During the war, sex had been a good outlet for their frustration; it had provided a weird security and stability of sorts in the crazy world they lived in. Now, perhaps, the relationship served to provide this same sort of comfort in a new, alien world without war. Anyhow, things had gone OK. Mostly. For the first few months, at least.
But now, almost a year after the peace had been established, it looked as if things had taken a turn for the worse.
Heero was impatient, jealous and uncommunicative and he thought nothing of yelling, even hitting the other teenager. Although Duo loved him, even his devotion and patience were starting to wear thin. He had been putting up with Heero's tantrums for long enough, but he didn't see why he had to be the one making concessions all the time.
Heero never apologized after their fights, although he did seem to feel guilty, especially about Duo's occasional bruises. But he never *said* anything.
The quarrel they were having now had sprung from something ridiculous, as usual. Heero didn't like when Duo acted friendly toward some girl in the music store, so he dragged the other boy out, dumped him into the car and drove home where they were presently trying to shout each other down. Duo was upset at having been treated like a piece of trash yet again and Heero refused to listen to reason.
Instead, he got more and more angry and flung more than a few nasty insults at the braided boy. Finally, the ex-Shinigami's patience snapped.
"You know, Heero, you are not the easiest man to live with," he said, "and while you might be the Mister Perfect Soldier Yuy, you are very far from being a perfect human being."
"I love you," he continued, " I told you so many times. But I'm not going to put up with any more shit from you. You don't own me!"
Unfortunately, as Duo correctly noted, Heero was no expert at interpersonal relations. Instead of apologizing, he insulted his lover even further by turning away and ignoring him.
"Fine, if that's the way you want it, Heero," Duo said quietly. His voice was shaking with the anger and disappointment he was feeling. "If you don't take those words back, I can't forgive you. I'm leaving. It's clear that you don't want me around. If you are just looking for sex, go find yourself a whore, because I'm not." With that, he turned and headed for the stairs.
"Duo." Heero growled ominously, "you are not going anywhere!"
"Oh yeah? And who are you to tell me what to do? I'm not your slave. 'Sides, it's not like you care about me or anything, so it's all for the best. You know you should have just hooked up with Relena back when she was still chasing you. You would've been perfect for each other. You should go back to her, you'll make a good couple!" Duo was sorry for this last tirade the minute the words left his mouth, but he was too upset to care at the moment. He realized his mistake a second later, when he saw a dangerous gleam in Heero's eyes.
"Heero, look, I'm." - he never finished the sentence because the other boy's fist shot out to connect with his jaw. Duo saw the movement at the last moment and stepped aside to avoid it, but it was too late. The blow knocked him backwards and, because he happened to be standing at the top of the stairs, he fell.
Heero didn't really know what the hell had been going on with him for the past months. He had never been trained to distinguish between his emotions, only to suppress them. So he didn't know what this feeling was that he began to experience toward his friend - and more. He knew it had always been there, subconsciously, but lately it began to surface.
He couldn't keep it down anymore. The perfect soldier didn't want to admit to himself that he had fallen in love with the braided idiot. So he tried to mask his feelings by finding faults with anything and everything that Duo did. To Heero, emotions were still a weakness, which could not be revealed to anyone, not even someone as close to him as Duo was. And so Heero chose to pretend he did not care.
But today, Duo's suggestion that he go back to Relena had been too much. He wanted to fling him arms around the other boy, to tell him how he felt, but it didn't happen. Instead, Heero saw red and his fist shot out, almost on its own, to make contact with Duo's face.
The next several moments took place in slow motion, at least in Heero's mind. He saw Duo lose his balance, step backwards, into emptiness. He registered the surprise on the other boy's face as he starting falling, head over heels, down.down.Heero heard someone scream "NOOOOOOOOO!" and he realized with detachment that it was his own voice. He sprinted down the stairs after Duo and he heard a sickening thud as he hit the floor at the bottom of the staircase. Heero fell to his knees by Duo's prone form.
"Duo?" he asked cautiously, "Duo, get up!" His tone became more urgent when there was no response from the boy. Carefully, he rolled Duo onto his back and reached to check for a pulse, already knowing in his heart what the result would be. Where before there had been a strong, steady beat full of life, now was silence.
Heero gathered his best friend's limp body into his arms and whispered apologies and confessions - words that had come a few minutes and an eternity too late. Tears welled up in his eyes and the perfect soldier wept for the fist time in years. He sat there for long time, crying quietly, rocking back and forth, holding Duo's body in his arms. But then he suddenly knew what he had to do. He gingerly laid the corpse back on the floor and headed upstairs.
There, in the bottom drawer of his dresser, he still kept his gun. Duo had teased him about it many times, asking whom Heero was so afraid of that he needed a weapon for defense. He had just ignored the American's chatter as usual, but now he could hear Duo's cheerful voice again.
<<Ne, Heero? Who are you planning to shoot with this thing? Who's your enemy now? The war is over, man, we don't have to kill anymore. So whatcha need a gun for, ne, Heero?>>
Wrong, Duo. Apparently, Heero's worst enemy turned out to be Heero himself. But now this problem would be corrected. The Perfect Soldier would complete his final mission. To rid the world of the loser that was Heero Yuy.
Ninmu ryokai.
Heero took one last look at the picture on top of the dresser, of the two of them together: Duo smiling and Heero.scowling?
"I'm sorry, Duo. I love you," he whispered. And pulled the trigger.
Ninmu kanryo.
TBC
C&C, please!
Once again, C&C, please!
(:./murasaki/second1)
