A sequel to Hitwoman for Love & the end of this particular series. Very OOC
Finally an end to this series!!!
Noin woke up and said, "Where is Zechs?!"
Duo said, "Ah, we left him with Treize. They were singing Sailor Moon songs."
"Are you serious?" yelled Noin. "We have to turn back immediately and save him."
Heero kept on driving.
"Turn the jeep around!" demanded Noin.
Heero kept on driving.
The jeep Une was driving screeched to a halt as Wufei had managed to puncture one of its tires. Une hopped out, looking furious. Sally looked at Wufei, then at Une,then pulled an industrial strength hairpin from her hair and started to jiggle the lock on her handcuffs.
Une suddenly threw off her jacket to reveal the upper half of the dominatrix outfit half of OZ suspected her of wearing under that jacket. She pulled at her belt which turned out to be a bullwhip. Wufei's nose started to bleed. He scowled, "She has acquired the magical ability to wound me at a distance!"
Sally paused, looked up and narrowed her eyes. No, Wufei, I don't think so, she thought. He finds Une attractive? Then she looked at what Une was wearing. He finds that kind of clothing to be sexy? She filed that information for later use in her mind and continued to try and free herself.
"Trowa, don't you know me?" wheedled Quatre. "Come on, Trowa, you can't forget me again. I just managed to make you remember... Stupid Wufei, kicking his brains cells out!"
"What happened to Wufei and Sally?"
"Une ran off with Sally and Wufei's trying to get Sally back."
"So, we failed?"
"No, our mission objective was to help rescue Wufei from Treize. We succeeded," explained Heero.
Noin sweatdropped. "Aren't you defining the mission a bit narrowly?"
Heero glared at her. "Do you want me to self-destruct now?"
Noin sighed. "But what about Zechs?"
"I heard he and Treize were going to the OZ anime convention."
"Then we should drive there. I want to pick up some Fushigi Yuugi and Sailor Moon stuff."
"Oh, I like those series, too," said Quatre. "I've been looking to see if they have any UFO Catcher dolls from those series."
The guys stared at Quatre. "What?" said Quatre defensively.
Wufei's shirt was in tatters, his back was lined with red marks, but he'd managed to step on the business end of Une's whip preventing even more whipping. "What kind of woman are you!" he shrieked.
Sally looked at Wufei with his shirt shredded and drooled. Ooops, she thought. Then she flung off the handcuffs and managed to inject Une with the antidote.
"Ow!" shrieked Une. Then she raised a hand to her face in confusion. "I don't remember what.. " Sally then knocked her out.
"Are you OK, Wufei?"
"I'm fine."
"Sit down and let me put some salve on your wounds."
Wufei blushed at the thought of Sally rubbing his back with lotion. "Give me the jar, I will take care of it myself."
Sally frowned, "Good heavens, you can't reach all the places she... " Then she smiled and said, "My, you weren't so shy with Treize back... "
"I was on drugs! I was on drugs!" he yelled.
Sally sighed as Wufei valiantly tried to treat his own wounds, writhing and twisting this way and that to get to the hard to reach places on his back. Why do I like this guy, Sally thought.
Wufei then said, "Thank you for coming after me. If you hadn't, I'd probably be... " Then he made a face as he imagined...
"What do we do about her?" Sally said pointing to the unconscious Une.
"I don't kill women or weaklings," said Wufei. "Lets leave her sleeping on the grass. I'm sure someone'll pick her up. Lets drive away from here."
"Which vehicle?"
"My bike of course."
"Can I drive while you sit behind me?"
"Certainly not!"
Zechs in his Sailor Moon fuku and Treize dressed as Tuxedo Mask were happily driving back to the bombed wreck that was now Treize's house with the 1st place trophy for cosplay when they had to swerve off the road due to Heero's insane driving.
"Aaaahhhhhh," scream both Zechs and Treize. Zechs passes out while Treize hops out to complain.
Noin hops out of the jeep and runs up to Treize and said, "You harlot!"
Suddenly, a wrestling ring popped out of the ground from beneath both their feet and a steel cage surrounded it. Duo stood up and said, "In one corner is 'Lovely' Lucrecia Noin, former OZ officer." Some cheering goes up for her.
"In the other corner is 'Krusher' Treize Khushrenada, the notorious OZ general, who ruthlessly crushes all opposition." Some cheering as well as some boos go up. "This is a grudge match that can only have one person walking out of the steel cage. All bets are off as this is a fight over love!"
Noin immediately tries to put Treize in a headlock, but he easily twists out of her grasp. She then proceeded to try to headbutt him, but only ended up giving them both a mild headache. "Ow!" she said. She then tried to do an aerial assault using her elbow while jumping off the corner of the ring, but he managed to dodge her attack. Then she turned to the GW pilots and said, "Give me a folding chair so I can pound the stuffing out of him!"
Quatre turns to the others and says, "Don't you think we should do something? They might get hurt."
Duo shook his head. "It's all fake, they won't get hurt." Then he frowned and said, "Mind you, professional wrestlers usually don't try to really kill each other either."
Noin attempts to do a pile driver, but loses her balance instead. Treize stands up, very irritated and said, "This is so lacking in grace. Let's duel instead."
Heero said, "How about sumo? It's quick and fairly painless. All you do is just try to push each other off balance."
The image of Treize wearing sumo wear made everyone else awake green. Then they imagined Noin trying to get into sumo wear and it made them even greener.
"Sumo bad," said Duo. "At least for these two."
Noin then said, "I'll be right back, Treize." She sped off in the jeep.
"What?" said Treize. "Zechs, do you know where... " But Zechs had disappeared during all the fighting.
Then everybody gasped as a huge shadow covered the field. High above them was Wing Zero. "Oh, my God," yelled Quatre.
Trowa frowned, "This is so familiar to me for some reason."
Duo looked up with the same expression he had when he saw Deathscythe messed up. "Isn't this overkill?"
There was a sound of insane laughter coming from Wing Zero. "Ha ha ha ha ha," laughed Noin. "Anybody who steals Zechs away from me must die. I don't want to kill you, Treize but... "
People left and right fell on their face, both in shock and in terror. Noin was not only riding Wing Zero, she also had the Buster Beam Rifle!!
Duo yelled, "We've got to get our asses out of here."
Heero looked at his computer and said, "No time, we must all get within two yards of Relena!"
"Why?" everyone chorused.
"Just do it!"
Noin was about to incinerate Treize except a mobile suit came from nowhere and deflected the blast, unfortunately, unto the G-Team.
The blast from the Rifle would've killed them except suddenly a field surrounded all of them that protected them from harm. Relena continued to babble happily to her reflection.
"Is that a new invention, Heero?" said Trowa, admiration dripping from his voice. Quatre threw him a sharp look, thinking, He better not say something about how purrrrfect Heero is or I'll...
"No, you see, every time something bad is about happen to Relena, a force field immediately surrounds her. Anything that has the possible effect of harming her is affected, either physically or mentally. This explains why the closer I am to her, the less I'm able to kill her. Also, it protects those surrounding her from harm, which is why she couldn't kill Une."
"Ah!" everybody says. That explained everything except why only Relena had the magical field.
Meanwhile, the King and Queen of the Fairies were watching the situation from a parallel dimension. The Queen said, "We really should pick up our child!"
The King turned to her and said, "I think we should leave her there until her intelligence has sufficiently increased."
In the meantime, a shot came from the other mobile suit and hit the Buster Rifle out of Wing Zero's hands which then misfired and hit the mobile suit which caused it to malfunction and fly upwards, leaving a trail of fire.
"Zechs get out of there!" yelled Treize. "It's going to explode!"
"Zechs?" yelled Noin. "Oh, no!!! Eject! Eject!"
"Noin, are you listening?" said Zechs.
Trowa grabbed hold of Quatre and said, "Nesan, I'm so scared."
Quatre blew a gasket and howled, "Trowa Barton, I'm not your nesan!" Then he began shaking him around like a rag doll.
"Noin, this is so unlike you... " said Zechs. "I think I like you this way."
"Yeah, you totally rock!" yells Duo.
"Be quiet!" said Heero.
The mobile suit's suddenly blew up, but not before Zechs managed to eject beforehand. Noin took Wing Zero and had the Gundam run as hard as it could to where the pilot had ejected. Treize drove after her, scowling. "Noin, omae o korosu!"
"That's my line,"growled Heero.
Quatre looked around and said, "I wonder what happened to Wufei and Sally?"
Meanwhile, Wufei was driving Sally towards the nearest city. "There's a place called Koi Palace. I thought I should treat you since you sa... sa... helped me out a bit."
Sally raised an eyebrow. "Koi? Do they sell what Une was wearing?"
Wufei scowled, "It's a Chinese restaurant that serves fresh fish, including carp."
"Ah... too bad."
Wufei gasped, his nose bled.
"Just kidding."
The End
(:./mk/svs134)
