08-Oct-2001
Title: The Babysitter - Of Playsuits and Parachutes
Authors: Wufei is WHAT?!? Productions (Yoiko and Tzigane)
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Type: Humorous Fic-stuffs ~_^v
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG-13? Not sure.
Pairings: None, really. ^_^
Archive: Gundam Wing Addiction
C&C: Please, feel free. ^_^
Warnings: Cuteness. Gross misunderstandings and misadventures of a Duo-esque nature. Cranky Heero, crankier Wufei.
Disclaimers: We don't own Gundam Wing, and the Gundam Wing characters are used here without permission. This is a work of fanfiction, intended solely for entertainment purposes, and is not meant to be taken as a claim to copyright for the elements in the story which were not created by us. Also, we intend no disrespect whatsoever towards the creators and rightful owners of Gundam Wing.
If you've already read either of the other Babysitter stories, you should already be prepared for this one; chronologically, it comes after "The Sleepover." It's short, but fear not -- there'll be more Babysitter Adventures to come.
^_~
"Oi, HEEEEEEERO!"
Heero Yuy shuddered, and turned to face his doom. It could only be one of two people...
"What do you want, Duo?" he asked grouchily, relieved that it wasn't Relena. "And how did you get in here?"
"Your mom let me in. She said she was glad you had a friend coming to visit you."
Heero frowned at that. Maybe he'd done something bad, and his Mama was punishing him for it. "Well, you've visited, and now you have to leave. You're interrupting an important experiment."
"But I want to do a spearmint of my own, and I want you to help me!" Duo said with a huge grin.
"You want to conduct an experiment?" Heero repeated, a slow smile stealing across his face. "Really? That's great! I've been wishing for another scientific mind in the neighborhood! Lemme see your hypothesis!"
"You want me to take my pants off?"
"NO!" Heero gasped, horrified. "Your *hypothesis!* The theory you're trying to prove or disprove!"
"Oh," Duo said, still grinning. It was entirely too easy to get a rise out of Heero... "Um... I'm testing whether a sheet can work as a parachute. Mom made me promise not to jump out of my window, but she didn't say anything about jumping out of *yours*!"
"You are not jumping out of my window," Heero said, scowling.
"With a sheet," Duo said. "See, I hold onto the corners, and the sheet *whooshes* open and I float down to the ground like a leaf! It'll be *fun!*"
"Yes, except that a plain sheet won't work," Heero said, still scowling. "Allow me to demonstrate." He opened up his closet door, revealing a set of shelves holding orderly stacks of plastic boxes, into which Heero's toys were carefully sorted. Heero fished out two little green Army men, one with a little plastic parachute and one without. He then went to his dresser and pulled out a neatly ironed handkerchief.
"Observe," he said, tying the corners of the handkerchief to the plain Army man and tossing it in the air, watching it fall to the floor like a rock. Then he tossed the Army man with the plastic parachute, which opened perfectly, allowing the plastic figure to drift gracefully to the ground.
"So?"
"So, if you used a sheet, you'd end up like the handkerchief guy," Heero said. "And you'd get blood all over the back porch, and I'd get in trouble. You're not jumping out my window."
"But you have a rubber sheet, don'tcha?" Duo asked. "That would work!" he continued, oblivious to the slow reddening of Heero's face, or the clenching of his little fists. "And I bet once you see me do it, you'll be just dying to have a turn!"
"Get out of here!"
"What? Hee-chan, what's wrong?"
"I said, GET OUT!!!"
"But, Hee-chan... Oh, I see. You're embarrassed about the rubber sheet. But don't you see how fun it'll be?"
"Get out, before I *THROW* you out the window!" Heero howled, and Duo beat a hasty retreat, leaving the young mad-scientist-to-be teary-eyed with humiliation.
"Stupid Duo," Heero muttered, swiping at his eyes. Like he was about to flash a rubber sheet in front of the entire neighborhood to announce that he had assidents! Besides, he'd burned the horrible, hateful thing in an experiment the week before, and now there was nothing left of it but the memory and a faint lingering smell of charred rubber.
Maybe that was why his Mama was punishing him... he only hoped she didn't get creative with her punishment, and invite Relena over!
"NOOOOO!!!" came the ear-splitting shriek, nearly frazzling the brows on Treize's head, making him cringe with the sound of it.
"Wufei," he began reasonably, "we're going outside to play. I'll even go with you. But you *have* to wear your playsuit..."
"NOOOOOO!!!!" the loud screech came in response, Wufei flinging bare little arms and legs as he laid down on the carpet to kick wildly, shaking his head and getting silky black hair knotted. Chang Wufei, son of Chang Wynn, HATED his playsuit. He DETESTED it. He DESPISED it! It was a horrible thing with a little red undershirt and red overalls with a cute yellow duck on the bib wearing galoshes. RED! It was not white and therefore was not fit to be on his body!
"Wufei!" Treize groaned, rubbing an ear. His ears were *sensitive*, darn it! They were trained to comprehend the nuances of Wagner, the melodious sounds of Paganini, the...
"I WON'T WEAR IT! I HATE IT!" Wufei squalled, making the fourteen-year-old cringe. There was going to be nothing for it. He was going to have to put it on the kicking, shrieking little boy, and it nearly made his heart hurt. Wufei was one of his better charges, but when he was bad... oh, he was *SO* bad!
"We're going outside to play!" he told the little boy grimly. "And you're *going* to wear your playsuit!" Despite all of the kicking and screaming, he began the wretched business of manhandling Wufei into his outfit. The boy yelled as he squirmed him into the red t-shirt, trying his best to wriggle out of it even as Treize held down kicking legs to get them into the little red overalls. By the time he'd gotten the overalls as high as little white underwear, the boy had the shirt halfway off and he had to pause to pull the shirt back down, bringing on another bout of squawking and crying once he pulled the overalls up and fastened to straps to the bib.
"I HATE IT!" Wufei sobbed wretchedly, rubbing at his eyes. "You're so MEAN!!"
"I am *not* mean!" Treize sighed, gathering the little boy into his arms. How awful! And now he'd have to brush Wufei's hair before they went out to play, too...
A knock on the front door sounded, a little thing, and he lightly kissed Wufei's forehead. "Stop crying, munchkin," he sighed. "I have to answer the door."
"Don't wanna stop crying!" Wufei sobbed. "You made me wear RED! I HATE RED!"
So much for persuasion.
Shoulders slightly slumped, Treize headed for the front door, opening it only to feel the hair on the back of his neck stand on end! "D-D-D..."
"Duo!" The little boy announced. "Hi, Mister Treize! Hey, Wufei, you look cute!" THAT only resulted in even louder bawling than before, Treize wishing desperately for earplugs. "Can we go play, Mister Treize?" he asked, wanting to get Wufei alone to ask him the question about his rubber sheet.
"Yes!" Treize sighed gratefully. "Yes, you can, out in the back yard!" He had never thought he would be *grateful* for the arrival of Duo Maxwell!
"Come on, Wu-chan. Let's go outside," Duo said, heading into the house and for the back door.
"Don't wanna!" Wufei sobbed, clinging to Treize.
With a sigh, the babysitter followed Duo to the back door, helping him to open it and then sitting Wufei down outside despite the little hands that clutched to him tightly. That resulted in even *louder* yowling, so he was terribly grateful to shut the door and *leave* Wufei with Duo!
"Hey, Wu-chan, why're you crying like that?" Duo asked, eyeing Wufei thoughtfully.
"I hate red!" Wufei sobbed. "I hate it I hate it I HATE IT!!!"
"Ohhh...." Duo nodded. He sort of liked red, himself, but Wufei was a weird one! "I wanna ask you a favor!" he declared, nodding firmly so that his little braid fairly bounced.
A fist reached up to rub at an eye, Wufei's curiosity putting shut to the crying for the moment. "What?" he asked suspiciously, not sure he really wanted to hear whatever it was. After all, he'd heard about the hole Duo had dug in his back yard, and he'd found the coloring book full of black crayon just last week...
"Well, see, I wanted to jump out of the window using a sheet, but my mom wouldn't let me, so I went to Heero's place to try it there. He showed me a spearmint, though, with little green army men, that the one with just a cloth parachute fell, but the one with a *plastic* parachute didn't. So!" Duo declared. "I figured I'd try Heero's rubber sheet, but he got mad with me, so I figured I'd come and see if I could use yours..."
Mortified, Wufei's eyes filled with tears, his face heating up to match his playsuit. "What makes you think I have a rubber sheet!?" he demanded, little mouth screwing up in his displeasure.
"Well, see, I was jumping on your bed, and..."
"You jumpted on my BED!!" Wufei fairly yowled, beginning to get *truly* upset. "And you colored in my book! And you made a MESS!" he screeched. "MISTER TREIZE!!" The back door flew open, Treize's hair standing entirely on end by now. "YOU LET HIM IN MY ROO~OOM!!"
/Oh, no!/
"Duo!" Treize groaned, picking Wufei up again. "It's time for you to go, now."
"But I just wan..."
"Duo. Go," Treize ground out, keeping the back door open for Duo to come inside. With a dejected sigh, the little boy did so, and Treize escorted him to the front door, still holding the crying, clutching Wufei.
"Okay, Mister Treize, but I just wanted to borrow Wufei's..."
"Go on, now," Treize sighed, opening the door and lightly sending Duo out onto the front porch before closing it behind him.
"Shoot," Duo muttered to himself. "What'm I supposed to do *NOW*?" A moment's thought made him smile. Quatre had a lot of sisters, and surely at least one of them must have a rubber sheet! "Yeah," he decided, nodding to himself. "That's the ticket!" With that decided, he ran off down the street, trouble following him as he went.
The End
^_^
(:./yoiko/wiwp7)
