21 Dec 2000

Category: Songfic
Pairing: 2+R
Rating: PG
Warning: Sap, sap, sap! ^__^ Glancing references to shounen-ai. And if the blonde gives you hives, now would be a good time to locate your trusty back-arrow button.
Disclaimer: The boy and the girl belong to Sunrise, the Sotsu Agency, Bandai, and associated parties, and I intend no infringement upon those rights. "She's Got A Way" belongs to Billy Joel, and can be found on his big honkin' greatest hits compilation.
Feedback: Always welcome! Flaming me will hurt my feelings, but I make myself feel better by writing _more_, so in the end it'd be counterproductive for you.
Notes: This is a Complicated side-story, set somewhere in the early- schmoopiness chapters of "Complicated" itself (say, between parts 4 and 5), but it can also make sense on its own, I believe. Why I'm so obsessed with ballrooms, I haven't a clue--blame it on a combination of prom deprivation and too many Audrey Hepburn movies, perhaps?

This fic makes rather odd use of the song, if you ask me--the lyrics don't consistently lead into or follow the story (they sometimes do one, sometimes the other), nor are they evenly distributed. But they do fit where I've dropped them, I think. ^_^; It may also help to be aware that lyrics sometimes accompany tiny jumps forward in time.

Anyway, this is for Dalton, who asked for a fic set to this tune. Hope you like it, Dalton-chan!

// denotes lyrics, / denotes thoughts

A Light Around Her by Lilias

//She's got a way about her
Don't know what it is
But I know that I can't live without her//

He still wasn't used to walking into this suite without knocking. No need for keycards at this level, no guards posted at this door --and this was familiar ground, after all. But still Duo paused as if to check for permission before turning the gilded doorknob, and caught himself trying to move noiselessly across the drawing room as if its deep carpet demanded reverence. /Idiot,/ he chided himself. /This is home, remember?/

Home. He wasn't used to that idea yet, either.

The bedroom door stood open, every lamp ablaze inside. He leaned into the bright room, locating her at once. "Almost ready?"

The full-length mirror was pulled out from its usual hiding place behind the door; Relena stood in front of it, arms raised to adjust the Peacecraft tiara where it barely showed amid the piled masses of her hair. The diamond-frosted confection only left the safe for the fussiest of occasions, and tonight definitely matched that description; more than one important diplomatic deal was at stake, all under the scrutiny of the politest of societies. He knew Relena had been dreading this ball for weeks, and had begrudged the army of dressers every moment they spent harassing her with silks and combs when she had more cerebral preparations to worry over.

Looking at her now, though, he had to admit that their efforts had been successful--from an aesthetic standpoint, anyway. The small blonde person who had shared his morning coffee had somehow been transformed into elegant statuary; tonight's dress was grey-blue, an azure with the silvery sheen of frost, and its austere lines were a surprisingly appropriate counterpoint to the elaborate hairstyle.

Duo realized belatedly that his mouth was actually hanging open, and promptly shut it. "Wow."

"If that's a compliment, thank you. Augh." Relena lowered her arms rather gingerly, smoothing her palms over the snug bodice. "There isn't a single square inch of this dress that isn't compressing some vital organ. Though the hem might be innocent, I suppose." When she glanced back up to meet his intent eyes in the mirror, Relena blushed. "Stop trying to practice telekinesis on my zipper--I can assure you I'm crammed in here so tightly that they'll have to extract me with a shoehorn."

"Oh, you can stay in it--for now. If you're so set on going to this thing."

"If there were any way out of it--" Relena cut herself off before she could invite trouble, knowing Duo would be only too happy to arrange a convenient power outage, a fire in the kitchens, something. But tonight would have to be endured, come hell or high water. Resigned to an evening of gavottes and power games, she turned reluctantly from the mirror. "So this will do?"

Duo's speculative look turned into a dangerous grin as he crossed the room. "What is it about perfection that makes you want to just...mess with it?"

She backed away in only half-joking wariness. "Touch the hair, and I'll have to kill you. Cause you grievous injury, at the very least."

"Just a little tousle? Give you that natural look?" The glint hadn't left his eyes, but his hands went obediently behind his back.

"I am not my own person just now, and you know it! I have a responsibility to the people who worked for the last hour and a half to build this pile of--whatever this is supposed to be." Relena regarded her own hair with mild puzzlement.

"Is it the Parthenon?" Duo suggested helpfully. "See, these vertical curls could be the columns, and--"

His illustrative gestures got a little too close, and she yelped in protest. "Hands off!" Now she was definitely glaring.

"You know I wouldn't hurt it." He shook his head in mock despair. "Geez--now I'm talking about that hair like it's a pet or something. I knew living with you would eventually make me crazy."

"Oh, but it's not without its advantages, is it? Just think: you get to spend the whole evening deciding whether you'd rather take it down all at once," she mimed the total destruction of the architectural marvel on her head, then smiled up at him sideways. "--or one pin at a time."

The combination of seduction and playfulness in that smile took all the stability out of his knees. /And just like that, you level me. Without even trying./ He strove for a bantering tone, but suspected he wasn't hiding himself very well; he had about given up trying, at least with her. "You're a dangerous woman, Minister. The way you treat your staff is downright scandalous."

"Not a full-blown scandal--yet. But we can work on that." Wearing a more innocent version of the same smile, she smoothed a stray lock back into his braid and paused to straighten his ascot before taking his offered arm. "Let's get this over with--the sooner we go, the sooner we can come back."

"After you, Minister." While she was occupied with coaxing her skirts through the doorway, he nicked a non-load-bearing hairpin from an inconspicuous coil of golden hair and slipped it into his pocket. /One down, about a thousand to go./

//She's got a way of pleasing
Don't know why it is
But there doesn't have to be a reason anyway//

Relena escaped from the evening's most toe-crunching dance partner with a graceful bow, and paused to adjust her bodice. Given the way that ambassador's son had been staring, she was sure he could see all the way to her knees; fortunately, the neckline did not seem to have slipped as far as Relena had feared. She was still enjoying the moment of peace when a tug on her skirt yanked her backward into one of the curtained alcoves that dotted the ballroom's panelled walls--she didn't have time for so much as a yelp, but immediately relaxed when she saw her captor.

"Duo, you are incorrigible." Her tone was admonishing, but she let him draw her back into the alcove and his arms. "What are you doing in here, anyway?"

"What does it look like? I'm maintaining the perimeter, kidnapping the princess--that kind of stuff."

"You're hopeless."

"You're beautiful." His words stopped her before she could frame another half-scolding phrase, and he had to grin at her expression of exasperated disbelief. /And you don't even believe me./ "I think I love that dress."

"That's--that's beside the point." She tugged suspiciously at her neckline again. "Anyway, I ought to be getting back out there."

"Yeah, you're probably right. They may not be the brightest bunch, but even these inbred loonies will eventually notice that you're missing."

Relena suppressed a snicker out of habit, though no one was within earshot. "The way you talk about global leaders is positively shocking." Then she sighed in resignation, gathering up her skirts and standing to survey the circling dancers beyond the draped curtain. "Could we end up near the Duke of Norfolk? I need to ask him about the summit he'll be hosting in Old Britain next month."

"Which one is he again?" His hand was a warm weight in the small of her back as they made their way among the knots of people that fringed the room, and she smiled at the comfort such a slight contact could carry with it. Her aching feet felt better already, she decided.

"Aren't you supposed to know this? He's the white-haired man with the monocle, next to the woman in blue with what appear to be chicken feathers in her hair." Relena peered across the dance floor, trying to get a better look. "I think it's actually a tuft of marabou, but I'm not quite sure."

"The things you people do to yourselves in the name of fashion-- you're all crazy, if you ask me."

She snorted. "Says the one who spends an hour on his hair every morning."

"Hey, that's how long it takes, even with two blow-dryers! And besides, it's not like I'm one of these oily trend-hounds. If I ever threaten to dye my eyebrows to match my uniform, you have my permission to kill me."

"That's a promise."

//She's got a smile that heals me
I don't know why it is
But I have to laugh when she reveals me//

They had finally made it around the curve of the floor to where the duke stood in a little flock of diplomats and staffers, and Relena greeted her old friends with a genuine smile.

The duke and his wife nodded, also smiling, as introductions were exchanged--then Norfolk extended his hand. "It's an honor, really; a pleasure. I've seen you on the vids, young man. You're a good bit taller in person than you look on film, you know."

Duo managed a courtly bow by way of thanks. "Well, I was only fifteen during the first war, your grace"--he was more than a little proud of himself for remembering the appropriate term of address for a duke--"and I've had time to grow a little since then. Besides, most of the newsvids wanted us in front of our gundams, so we ended up looking like action figures."

"Indeed, indeed. Now, Princess Relena--or, I should say, Minister Peacecraft--I suspect you have an ulterior motive in stalking me by the punch bowl? Is this about the meeting?"

Relena nodded, and was about to speak when a highly-starched peer sidled up to them, eyeing Duo with disdain. "Still snuggling with the hired help, Minister? Have all your servants been invited to take a turn on the dance floor? Really--I would have thought you held more respect for your late father."

Duo went dangerously still beside her; Relena laid the very tips of her gloved fingers on his forearm in reassurance, feeling the coiled tension being held reluctantly in check. A half-step forward put her in a blocking position, the better to draw and return his lordship's fire.

"Why, Lord Vaughan--you speak as if actual work made one less of a man." She slid appraising eyes down his gold-braided dress uniform and back up to his weak-chinned face with deliberate dismissiveness, keeping her hand firmly on Duo's arm. "I have found it to be quite the reverse."

Vaughan bridled, unable to find words for his indignation even as she continued: "And while we're on the subject of duty, do you really find expensive idleness to be the best use of the peace Mr. Maxwell won for us? I would have thought you held more respect for your late father, if not for those who fought to ensure your safety."

Opening and closing his mouth in mute rage, looking for all the world like a landed carp, Lord Vaughan stood irresolute for another instant before making an unceremonious retreat.

//She's got a way of talking
Don't know why it is
But it lifts me up when we are walking anywhere//

The sound of glove-muted applause brought Relena back to the circle behind her, and she inclined her head graciously. "I knew those elocution lessons would come in handy eventually."

"Such a disagreeable little man. I rather wanted to poke out his eyes with a pickle fork." The duchess widened her own eyes innocently when everyone turned to gaze at her. "Well, didn't you? They looked so like marbles--I expect they'd roll quite smoothly."

Her husband patted her arm affectionately. "Indeed they would, my dear. Though he's the sort who would inspect the implement and advise you that a seafood fork would have been more correct."

The duke turned to Duo, eyes twinkling as he thumped the younger man on the shoulder in a companionable fashion. "You've got quite a pit bull for a champion, young man, though she may adopt the disguise of a pampered kitten. We try to stay on her good side."

"I'll try to do the same, sir." He had already relaxed enough for an answering wry grin, though Relena could still read agitation in the set of his shoulders.

Norfolk gave him a long, measuring look, then nodded in apparent satisfaction. "You'll do, Maxwell; you'll do. Those firefights of yours might be almost enough to prepare you for life with our Minister here. Puppies like Vaughan should be the least of your concerns."

After making arrangements for a later summit-planning meeting, the duke made their farewells and ushered his wife toward the hors d'oeuvres table.

Duo looked down at her sideways as they left. "You didn't have to go for his throat, y'know--he wasn't bothering me, really. But you're cute when your eyes turn into laser beams like that."

Duo might be making light of the whole embarrassing episode, but Relena had felt him flinch at Vaughan's first words--they were confirmation of the phantom inadequacies he still seemed to see everywhere, in spite of all her efforts. Maybe she should have let him fight this one on his own, at that. Suddenly reluctant to meet Duo's eyes, Relena busied herself with the buttons on her glove. "I know you don't need me leaping to your defense--but Vaughan's the kind of person who doesn't recognize corrective measures unless they come from someone he perceives as outranking him." She shook her head, still looking down. "Otherwise I would have been happy to watch you clobber him."

"'Clobber?'" He tipped her head up with one fingertip under her chin. "I pride myself on having a little more finesse than that, Your Minister-ness. I would have explained to him exactly why he shouldn't say nasty things like that to a lady. Using short little words, so he wouldn't have to think too hard." The grin was back. "And then I would have clobbered him."

Glaring in the direction of the vanished aristocrat, Relena shook her head again. "I don't understand why people think that way--why a person in a position to do so much good would be so myopic as to become obsessed with the position itself. It shows great weakness of character to speak that way about other people." She looked up, finally, with a directness that warmed Duo to the ends of his toes. "And while I have breath enough for words, no one will say such things about you."

//She's got a way of showing
How I make her feel
And I find the strength to keep on going//

Her small face was deadly serious, but Duo felt paradoxically buoyed by the gravity of those eyes--with the distinct sensation of being encircled, as if by warm wings. He paused to draw a breath, smiling at its shakiness. "I'm going to kiss you, right here in front of Lord What's-his-name and everybody else, and then people are definitely going to talk."

"And what will they say, exactly? That no one should be this lucky?" Those same determined blue eyes dared him to contradict her.

"Only one way to find out."

"Gentlemen, warm up your cameras."

She went up on tiptoe to reach him, smiling into his kiss, almost laughing when his arm around her waist lifted her feet right off the ground--

And the cameras flashed.

//She's got a light around her
And everywhere she goes
A million dreams of love surround her
Everywhere//

When Duo got to his office the next morning, there was a cartoon thumbtacked to the door: a smugly smiling cat, looking over its shoulder at a crumpled bag.

He flipped its bottom edge, but decided to leave the drawing in place. "Cute, guys. Looks like somebody sent away for those cereal-box art lessons!"

Grinning faces poked around cubicle walls, and a laughing voice caroled, "Hope they got your good side, boss!"

"That's all I've got, Franklin. Don't you have a desk you're supposed to be holding down?"

"Yeah, yeah. Guess young love isn't going to slow down our slave driver any time soon, huh?" The whole group broke into laughter at the very idea, then scattered under a barrage of rubber-band fire from their mighty leader.

Duo didn't have much time to settle in before the vidphone's insistent beep filtered up through the piles of paper on his desk, forcing him to dig around in the heap until he located its screen.

A familiar face glowered up at him, a familiar voice cutting into his good mood without preamble. "Have you completely lost your mind?"

"Nice to see you again too, Wufei. How's Sally these days?"

"Don't get sarcastic with me, Maxwell. What exactly do you think you're doing down there?"

"In case you haven't been paying attention, it's my job to be down here."

Wufei sliced a hand through the air, bluntly cutting him off. "Don't even pretend you have no idea what I'm talking about. Preventer Headquarters may be a busy place, but we do find time to read the newspapers every once in a while."

Duo smiled briefly in spite of himself, imagining how fast a certain pack of photographers must have run to get those shots to press in time for the morning editions. "I'm surprised you even pay attention to those tabloids, Wufei. Getting gossipy in your old age?"

Wufei cut to the chase. "Please, Maxwell. Tell me you're not sleeping with her."

"We're old friends, Chang--so I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Taken the wrong way, it might have come across as an insulting question." Duo's words might have sounded friendly, had it not been for their undercurrent of steel.

"Oh, sweet gods of heaven and earth. You are sleeping with her. I thought she had a brain in that head--" He glared exasperatedly into the viewscreen. "Can't you shut off that--that--whatever it is you do to people?"

Duo had abandoned even the appearance of humor; Wufei was on thin ice over deep water, and should have beaten a retreat about three comments back. "If there's a point to this call, Chang, now would be a good time to get to it."

"Duo. For once in your life, try to be rational." Wufei pressed his fingers to his temple as if his brain were threatening to explode. "You're probably the one person on the planet most qualified to protect the Minister--I've always thought she showed remarkable intelligence in retaining you. You know that. But you're also perhaps the person on the planet least qualified to be in a relationship with someone like her." He shook his head warningly. "This cannot end well, Duo. And when it ends--badly--you'll be out in the cold again, only this time you'll have a global crisis on your conscience. And that's if you're lucky. In the meantime, losing your objectivity means your focus is gone; how well can you protect her if you're not thinking straight?"

"She's an adult. I'm an adult. I think we can decide what risks are worth taking."

Wufei snorted. "Risks. You've both proven yourselves woefully inept at making life choices in the past, and I'm supposed to believe you suddenly know how to evaluate risk? Does the name Heero Yuy ring a bell with either of you two lunatics?"

Wufei knew he had gone too far as soon as the words left his mouth, but he returned Shinigami's stare with more bravado than most people would have been able to manage. /I'm no good at this, Duo, but you have to hear past my words--for your own sake, as well as hers. How many more times can you bounce back before you break?/ But Wufei's stare didn't seem to be saying enough.

"We were done talking before you dialed the phone, Chang. Thanks for the vote of confidence." Duo broke the connection before Wufei could frame an answer, and sat staring at the innocent vidphone as if daring it to ring again.

//She comes to me when I'm feeling down
Inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around//

It only felt as if he hadn't moved in the last three days; Duo knew very well that he had walked through other rooms, sat in front of meals, gotten work done. He had even gone to bed--his own, alone-- but didn't really remember whether or not he had slept.

It didn't make sense that something as peripheral as an old ally's concerns should have thrown his whole world off its axis, but Duo couldn't get Wufei's warning out of his head. That in itself seemed like a bad sign--if it took so little to rattle him, had there ever been any hope for this relationship?

Relationship. Such a prim word for something so vital--something he could still feel like a warm knot in his chest, even with the intervening chill of doubt.

But being scrupulously honest with himself meant facing the fact that Wufei had only forced Duo's attention to something he'd been trying to ignore. He had just fallen into this--no long-term plan, no thinking about consequences--and now he was in too deep to get back out without causing permanent damage. Even if escape had been something he could imagine wanting.

Still, he couldn't seem to come up with a long-term plan that didn't look as fragile as a soap bubble. /Maybe Vaughan wasn't too far wrong, after all. The princess is supposed to love the hero, not the second pilot from the left. Everybody knows that. Funny thing is, she does love the hero. And so do I. God, this is hopeless./ He dropped his aching head into his hands with a grimace of self-disgust. /Talk about self-fulfilling prophecies--I don't think I want to listen to you any more, Wufei, not even inside my head./

"Hi."

He looked up sharply at the first sound of her voice, but then became suddenly fascinated by the papers on his desk. "Hey."

Relena hesitated just inside the door, looking rather lost despite an air of determined cheerfulness. "I was wondering if you had the plans for the--"

"Oh, yeah. The Reykjavik trip? I sent them up with Kayla, just a little bit ago." He could look at her feet, he decided. Feet were safe.

"Oh. I must have passed her in the elevator, then. I'll just--" She headed toward the door, then turned back. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What?" Great. He sounded guilty even to himself.

"You've been hiding in your office for three days. Not to mention ducking down hallways every time you see me coming. But I don't even remember having a disagreement, so I can't figure out why you're lurking like this."

"I'm not lurking. I'm busy." And if his head weren't pounding like it was hosting a percussionists' convention, he definitely could have come up with a better retort than that.

"Too busy to eat? Not likely. You're hiding." Relena observed him narrowly. "And your head hurts, but you aren't taking anything for it. Again."

Duo snatched his hand away from his forehead. "It's not a bad one."

"Mm-hm." With brisk decisiveness, she flipped the lock on his door and stalked back toward him before he could formulate a plan of resistance.

"Lena--"

But she was already shuffling papers aside to make room, turning to perch on the desk where she could face him. "Come here."

Duo looked at her as quizzically as his headache would allow. "What? How much more 'here' can I get?"

Dragging his chair closer, she laid a determined hand on each side of his face. "Like this." And then she started massaging his temples, pausing only at his sharp intake of breath. "Did that hurt?"

"Your fingers are cold."

"Should I stop?"

Duo managed a minute shake of his bowed head, then decided words might be useful. "Feels good." It felt amazing, actually--those cool fingertips moving in tiny, precise circles, finding and easing every little snarl of tension. He let his forehead drop against her shoulder with a weary sigh.

"It pulls, doesn't it? The braid? Every time I put my hair up, it makes my whole scalp go numb. I don't know how you stand it."

"Used to it."

"You're used to a lot of things--that doesn't mean they're good for you." Her slender fingers continued their slow progress, up from his temples to the crown of his head, and then down to the nape of his neck before tugging gently at the plait. "Can I take it down? It's coming apart anyway."

"Yeah."

The barely-audible mumble made her smile; and as she tugged off the elastic band and slid her hands under his loosened hair, an inarticulate moan made her laugh softly. "Good thing Oz never subjected you to the dreaded massage torture--you would have handed over your gundam as soon as they started work on you."

"Mm. Everybody's got--somethin'." He swallowed, trying not to drool. "Show Quatre a kitten an' it's all over. 'Fei cracks if you start with the show tunes." Damn. Now Wufei was back in his head, front and center--glaring, as usual. The headache started to take hold again.

"Broadway? I never would have guessed." Relena waited to see if he would speak again, frowning as tension crept back into his shoulders.

She listened to the wall clock's assertive ticking for what seemed like a long time before he drew a deep breath and released it. "Talked to Wufei the other day."

Treading carefully, she kept her reply noncommittal but encouraging. "How is he?"

"He thinks we're a bad idea."

"Does he." So that was it--in part, anyway. She couldn't help bristling, if only a little. "I wonder if he knows me well enough to comment."

"He's got me pretty well pegged. Might be all he needs to know."

Relena felt the tightrope unraveling under her feet--he didn't sound defeated, exactly, but disturbingly close to it. "So do you think we're a bad idea, too?"

Duo answered with another question, finally lifting his head from her shoulder. "Where do you think we're going with this?"

Her diplomatic training should have been preparation for a moment like this--but with so much at stake, all her eloquence suddenly failed her. Still, she tried. "I wake up happy almost every morning, just because I know I'll get to see you. That's never happened to me before, and I think I'd like to get used to it." She was trying not to look directly at him, determined not to plead. "So much for me. Where do you want to be going with this?"

He wasn't looking at her, either, but seemed to be gazing back through layers of time; he looked much older, suddenly, though she could almost trace the lines of his lonely childhood in that same thoughtful face. "I'm not good at imagining futures--never had any practice, I guess. Always been good at stealing--grabbing what I can, when I can--but the long term?" He shook his head. "Too depressing to look at."

Relena had been on edge for days, but only now did she feel the sharp blade of panic at her throat. "Are you trying to find a way to tell me you're done with this--with us?"

Startled, Duo realized how much his musings had sounded like they were headed for exactly that conclusion. "No. Definitely not that."

"How can you be so sure?" Relena knew her answer, but needed to hear his.

"I think--because I--" Suddenly it all seemed very simple, and he could have laughed. "Because I love you."

It occurred to him suddenly, with all the immediacy of revelation, that he had never said these words to her before--and in the wave of giddy relief that followed, Duo wondered why it had taken him so long.

Her face hovered on the very edge of joy, still not quite trusting it; the wide blue eyes managed to be both wary and filled with a blinding hope. "You do?"

"Yeah."

"Well, good." Now she did smile, and the light in her eyes spread to illuminate her whole face. "Because I don't think I know how to stop loving you, and I don't have time to learn. Not with so much on my schedule for this month."

"You could take a week off, maybe do some research--"

She cut him off with a hand over his mouth. "I will never have time. Period. So get used to it. We'll just have to figure out how to be a good idea."

Taking her hand felt like a sacrament, as momentous as a vow in front of witnesses. /I don't know much about forever--it hasn't really been an option, not until now. But I'll try. With you, for you. For me. I'll try./

//She's got a way about her
Don't know what it is,
But I know that I can't live without her
Anyway//

End

And here is an illustration (39Kb) by Sachie! You can visit her site at http://www.geocities.com/sachie1546/

(:./lilias/litearound)