Top Ten Lines You Wanted to Hear Wufei Say: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | To himself, when the wild dogs close in: "Oh, s**t..." |
| 9. | To Treize, after her blasts through the side of the ship: "Oooh, nice decor. Very elegant." |
| 8. | To Sally, as he drifts away in the boat "Nanny nanny boo boo, you can't catch me!" |
| 7. | To himself, after he drifts out of Sally's sight: *singing* "Nobody knows the trouble I seen. Nobody knows but Nataku." |
| 6. | To Duo, when they're running out of air on the moonbase: *in his trance and muttering* "Will you shut up! You're using all the air!!" |
| 5. | To Zechs, when they encounter each other after the L-5 colony blows up: "Cooperation?? I don't need no stinkin' cooperation!!" |
| 4. | To Heero and Sally, after they find him in space: "Of course I'll join you and we'll be one happy team!" |
| 3. | To Noin, when she corners him in the Aries: "Go away! You've got girl cooties!!" |
| 2. | To Trowa, after getting coffee around the campfire: "I didn't think anything could be as bad as her soup..." |
| 1. | To Sally, in Endless Waltz, as he looks over the barren landscape with his binoculars: "Damn, no fast food in sight." |
Top Ten Signs You're Obsessed With Wufei: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | You find yourself in a grouchy mood much of the time. |
| 9. | You start thinking of women as weak and helpless, even if you are one. |
| 8. | You've taken to challenging people at restaurants with the little plastic swords that come in cocktails. |
| 7. | You've dyed your hair black, put on oil to make it shine, but you just can't seem to get that ponytail tight enough. |
| 6. | You've named your car 'Nataku' and now can't go anywhere because you feel inadequate to drive it. |
| 5. | You've looked everywhere for those little black slippers. |
| 4. | Justice has become your favorite topic of conversation, much to the dismay of your friends and family. |
| 3. | You're trying to learn to put yourself in a trance for those emergency situtations, like class, or visiting your in-laws. |
| 2. | You've been eyeing that flagpole on your neighbors porch with envy - now if only you could make it into a laser... |
| 1. | The scent of roses leaves your itching for a fight. |
Top Ten Things Wufei would want if he was stranded on a desert island : | |
|---|---|
| 10. | laundry soap - can't let those little white pants get dirty! |
| 9. | An onna to do the laundry. |
| 8. | Someone who comes and takes the onna away after she's done the laundry and then brings her back again. |
| 7. | His sword. |
| 6. | Treize (and his sword) so that he can get endless chances to to finally win that duel. |
| 5. | A large barrel of Lapsang Souchong tea - and the water to make it with. (The onna can do that, too.) |
| 4. | Sun Tzu's The Art of War |
| 3. | A copy of the Analects of Confucius |
| 2. | His glasses. (He won't have to pretend he doesn't need them - well, except for when the onna is there.) |
| 1. | A cat - for company. |
Top Ten Questions Wufei Would Hate to be asked: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Don't you think Relena Peacecraft would make a wonderful sovereign? |
| 9. | Justice, injustice - none of it really matters, right? |
| 8. | When it comes to women, what do you think of the line, "Me thinks he doth protest too much?" |
| 7. | Really, don't you think the better man won that duel? |
| 6. | I bet you're a real 'team player,' eh? |
| 5. | I see you in pink, like Quatre... what do you think? |
| 4. | Just between you and me, Nataku is just another hunk of metal, right? |
| 3. | Don't you think those little black shoes are just a bit... unmanly? |
| 2. | Isn't Treize Khushrenada a dreamboat? |
| 1. | Come on, admit it - secretly you've always wanted to be a woman... |
Top Ten Things Wufei Hates To Receive In The Mail: Graciously donated by Ravin Lorance - thanks! | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Bills from all those bottles of wax needed to keep to keep Nataku rust-free while standing in water for three-month pouting fits. |
| 9. | Lady Une's death threats (then later, Saint Une's patronizing letters about "understanding" and "the way things are.") |
| 8. | The bill from his therapist (who happens to specialize in self-esteem.) |
| 7. | Requests from Chinese guerrillas asking him to join their war. |
| 6. | Hate mail from Noin (even though she CLAIMS to be over those trainees.) |
| 5. | Annoying letters from Duo (just because they were both prisoners of OZ at the Lunar Base does not make them best friends!) |
| 4. | Invitations to Treize's dinner parties. |
| 3. | Not receiving invitations to Treize's dinner parties. |
| 2. | Wedding invitations, just too many bad memories. |
| 1. | Letters from anyone he considers a weakling (which is EVERYONE.) |
Top Ten Self-Help/Teaching Videos Wufei Has in His Possession: Graciously donated by Golden Usagi - thanks! | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Understanding Justice |
| 9. | You Are Worthy, And Here's Why |
| 8. | How to Avoid Wild Dog Attacks: Humiliate Them |
| 7. | You Are Not Alone: Teamwork is Good |
| 6. | Become a Martial Arts Master in 24 Hours |
| 5. | The Ancient Tradition of Duels: How to Win Next Time |
| 4. | First Impressions are Important: Don't Start off by Telling People they are Weak |
| 3. | Sulking Won't Get You Anywhere |
| 2. | Weak, Annoying & Persistent Women: Meditating to Escape |
| 1. | Your Gundam is Not Alive: Learning to Cope |
Top Ten Lines You'll (Hopefully) Never Hear Wufei Say: Graciously donated by CJ Comer - thanks! | |
|---|---|
| 10. I feel so pretty, oh so pretty... | |
| 9. I shall smite thee! | |
| 8. I get my spunk from coffee. | |
| 7. Trick or Treat! | |
| 6. Wussup, girlfriend? | |
| 5. Women are stronger than me and superior fighters. | |
| 4. Sally, can I have your phone number? | |
| 3. Quatre! Give me some of your clothes! I'm tired of white! It hurts my eyes! | |
| 2. My ponytail's too tight! | |
| 1. *Quatre and Wufei in battle* Quatre: Wufei, swing in to the left and we'll draw the Mobile Doll's fire. Wufei: Mesa go now, okiday? *Quatre does a double take at Wufei's response) | |
Wufei's Top Ten New Year's Resolutions: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | To carry throat lozenges for those times he just *has* to have a screaming fit. |
| 9. | To untie that pigtail -just once. |
| 8. | To make a "365 Reasons Why I'm Worthy of Piloting Nataku" calendar. |
| 7. | To get up the nerve to tell Cathrine that her soup stinks. |
| 6. | To acknowledge to Noin and Sally that they're two of the best darn pilots in A.C. 195. |
| 5. | To visit Treize and Zechs off-duty - more than once. |
| 4. | To learn how to use the dragon fang to grab ahold of Maxwell's braid. |
| 3. | To rethink the idea that 7-year-olds can make good world leaders. |
| 2. | To beat Treize - just once. |
| 1. | To learn the names of every female character in gw. |
Top Ten Things Wufei Put on his Xmas List: Graciously donated by Golden Usagi | |
|---|---|
| 10. | For all those stupid onna to leave him alone |
| 9. | For all those stupid Commanders of World and Space organizations to leave him alone - Treize, Zechs, Relena (whom he simply doesn't "approve of") |
| 8. | A canoe of his very own to sulk in |
| 7. | A hand-held dragon claw for those things just out of reach |
| 6. | For Nataku to actually talk back to him for once |
| 5. | A sword sharpening stone - it's getting dull after all those secret duels with Treize) |
| 4. | For something painful to happen to Maxwell for spiking the eggnog |
| 3. | A forty-gallon jug of wax for Nataku so she'll be worthy to fight again (we know what he'll be doing over his vacation) |
| 2. | For Treize to stop inviting him to dinner every Friday |
| 1. | A single rose - just to know that Treize has completely forgotten about him, though. |
Top Ten Holiday Events Wufei's Looking Forward To: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Trying eggnog for the first time. (Duo's treat.) |
| 9. | Worrying about whether the reindeer might give away the location of the safehouse. |
| 8. | Picking out a gift for Treize... |
| 7. | ...and trying to sneak it past Zechs. |
| 6. | Hiding behind Duo's Christmas tree to catch Santa... |
| 5. | ... and then demanding justice (read: toys) for all the kids in the world who aren't Christian. |
| 4. | Tearing the huge red bow off of Shenlong that Duo put on it. |
| 3. | Getting to eat chocolate at every holiday function. |
| 2. | Peppermint flavored ice-cream - good for soothing raspy throats after extended ranting sessions. |
| 1. | Using Altron's dragon fang to put Duo's Deathscythe tree topper on the tree. |
Top Ten Items Wufei would buy in bulk: Graciously donated by Shikyouta | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Wu doesn't need to buy hair elastics, he just collects the ones Duo snaps at him. What Wu really needs for his hair are jars of pomade |
| 9. | pillows -he often has particularly violent fighting dreams, and he always wakes up to find his pillow is completely destroyed |
| 8. | 'surprise boxes' from Big Al's Big Warehouse of Bendable Things |
| 7. | sweatbands |
| 6. | Clairol Jetblack hair color -hides the grey from stressing out so much |
| 5. | wood break-apart chopsticks -Duo keeps stealing them to drum along with his burned CDs. |
| 4. | Calgon laundry detergent -for his white pants and overshirt. "'Ancient Chinese secret'?? Some hot shot!" |
| 3. | ylang ylang aromatherapy candles -he fires one of those up inside Nataku, to calm him down before going into heavy combat. |
| 2. | plastic forks -to eat his meals, whenever he's out of the wood break-apart chopsticks |
| 1. | Halls throat lozenges -"Baka! Kisama!! Onna!!! MAXWELL!!!!" |
Top Ten Things Wufei would do at the mall: Graciously donated by Golden Usagi | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Said that he was not worthy of the mall, but that he was worthy of Wal-Mart, and would go there. (But Heero replied that Duo had been officially kicked out of Wal-Mart and was never allowed to go there again.) |
| 9. | Managed to hide his sword in those pants to get past security, even though it was dishonorable. |
| 8. | Pulled out his sword and looked around suspiciously whenever he smelled a rose fragrance, which was a problem when Quatre insisted they go into the flower shop. |
| 7. | Paid $65 worth of damage because of all his slashing in the flower shop, which he said was unjust. |
| 6. | Bought a bottle of bleach and a package of those little wipes for immediate stain removal while no one was looking. |
| 5. | Went into an exercise room to work out, commented on how weak everyone else was. |
| 4. | Ended up getting into a fight with a 6'7" bodybuilder, took him out with one blow to the neck, then said how empty he felt and that he wasn't supposed to win. |
| 3. | Stopped to meditate in the middle of the food court. |
| 2. | Then stood up and loudly declared to everyone that he was not worthy. |
| 1. | Bought some more of those itty bitty rubber bands because he keeps breaking them while putting his hair into that unbelievably tight ponytail. |
Top Ten Oscars Wufei could win: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Most Maddening and/or Adorable Use of the Word, "Onna!!" (Woman!!) |
| 9. | Best Scene That Calls for Scampering Out of a Mech (climbing out of Shenlong to face Treize in a sword fight - cute monkey boy!) |
| 8. | Worst Fate Suffered in Any One Scene (the destruction of L-5) |
| 7. | Tightest Pigtail in a Legendary Chinese Warrior Role |
| 6. | Best Mix of Japanese and Chinese Cultural References in Mecha Weapons (the Kendo-like stick and the Dragon Fang) |
| 5. | Poorest Loser in a Sword Fighting Scene |
| 4. | Strangest Combination of Hate and Admiration of Another Character (Treize) |
| 3. | Best Potential Use as a Straight-Man in any Scene Involving Duo Maxwell (admit it - he's a perfect foil for Death-boy's humor) |
| 2. | Most Timely Delivery of a Buster Rifle in a Scene Where the World is About to End |
| 1. | Most Versatile Use of the Swear Word "Kisama!" ("Bastard!") |
Top Ten Jeopardy Categories for Wufei: (for best effect, insert the phrase, "I'll take" before each category and "for 300, Alex" after) | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Hairstyles & Headaches |
| 9. | Machine Intelligence |
| 8. | Forms of Dishonor |
| 7. | Onnas |
| 6. | Self-Esteem Disorders |
| 5. | Swordplay with Aristocrats |
| 4. | Japanese Swear Words |
| 3. | Aloof Gods |
| 2. | Justice! Not to be confused with... |
| 1. | ...Injustice! |
Top Ten Signs You're Hanging Out With Wu Fei Too Much... Graciously donated by Tataragami | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Even your mother comments on your knife skills while cooking by, and for, yourself. |
| 9. | You end up smashing the TV half the time you try to watch it when someone else holds the remote, ranting about injustice as you retreat to brood alone. |
| 8. | That ponytail just doesn't seem too tight anymore. |
| 7. | You find yourself standing on a pedestal of rock in front of your car as it sits in a pond and telling it "I am not worthy to drive you," after you get in an accident. |
| 6. | You know how he keeps those clothes of his so immaculately white (and it isn't bleach). |
| 5. | Your bias against women is now so strong, you snort in contempt every time you see one driving a car (they are too weak to do battle with the morning traffic), yet you love your family's matriarch (i.e. mom) more than anything in the world. |
| 4. | You defeat one of your friends at a game, then go off into the African savanah and when surrounded by a bunch of hyenas, shout at them, calling them weaklings, and then yowl in frustration because you feel so empty inside... |
| 3. | ...and after you win another game, you cry uncharacteristically and quietly say to yourself, "I wasn't supposed to win." |
| 2. | You find yourself talking to your car on a regular basis. |
| 1. | "Onna" and "kisama" are becoming staples in your vocabulary. |
Top Ten GW Things You're Likely to Find in Wufei's Fridge/Freezer: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | 20 lbs. of ice - for those times when the Kung Fu moves miss the mark (itai!) |
| 9. | hair oil for that classic, sleek look that just screams, "Wufei" |
| 8. | large red heart box with a red satin ribbon containing 2 lbs. of milk chocolate (a present from... ? Wuffers isn't telling.) |
| 7. | leftover lo mein noodles (Szechuan-style with shrimp) |
| 6. | a large, untouched container of soup given to him by Cathrine (who thinks he needs to eat more) |
| 5. | a large, untouched container of mu-shu pork made by Sally (who thinks he needs to eat more) |
| 4. | his secret stash of Klondike™ bars |
| 3. | one half-full bag of Formosa Oolong tea |
| 2. | rose-scented aftershave (to distract Treize during duels) |
| 1. | ginseng - though he won't tell anyone why... |
Top Ten GW Toys Wu Fei Would Like to See Bandai Release: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | School Buddy Altron: It's extendable dragon fang retrieves dropped pencils and helps you getthe best dessert in the cafeteria line! |
| 9. | From the Rebel collection: Wu Fei ActionWear (comes with a blue tank top & baggy pants and overjacket guaranteed to stay pristine white.) |
| 8. | Duel! A board game that'll take your breath away as you battle the dread monsters, Guilt and Doubt, in order to reach Treize's boat. (1 player) |
| 7. | Pilot 05 Martial Arts Action Set - Includes two wrist supports, one wrist exerciser, and one black ponytail holder. |
| 6. | Marry Me Meiran Doll: Meiran glares at you and comes with 5 different insults. When you propose to it, it spits. |
| 5. | Hide & Seek Shenlong: Use the magic netting included to cover up Shenlong - then watch the mech blast out of it. Hours of fun! |
| 4. | Sally Po's Doctor Kit: (comes complete with gauze, antibiotics, missle launcher, and book on self-esteem.) |
| 3. | L5 Rescue! action set: *You* can change the fate of the L5 colony! Grab Ron Shirin with your dragon fang just before she hits the button! |
| 2. | Whack 'Em, Smack 'Em Pilots: Listen as the Duo figure calls Wu Fei a nickname. Then stand back for all-out boxing fun as Wu Fei attacks! |
| 1. | Deadly Rose Playset - grab the broadsword, throw the rapier to a friend who wears the realistic rose. Now, change the course of history! |
Top Ten Signs That Wu Fei Needs a New Mech: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | The one he has brings back toomany painful memories of that sword fight with Treize... |
| 9. | ...and the man hid a rose air-freshener somewhere in the cockpit and he can't find it. Treize!! Kisama!! |
| 8. | The mech he has now is so pathetic even an onna like Sally could pilot it. |
| 7. | Shenlong's gotten rusty from being plunged into the ocean one too many times by a pilot who pouts after losing duels. |
| 6. | He's now worthy of piloting the mech he has. He needs another that he is *not* worthy of so he still has an excuse for drifting off in canoes. |
| 5. | His old mech was starting to look a little *too much* like Ron Shirin. |
| 4. | There's not enough room in the cockpit to meditate. |
| 3. | The radio still broadcasts the frequency that Maxwell uses. |
| 2. | His dragon fang is losing it's teeth - where's the justice in that?? |
| 1. | He blew the speakers on his external P.A. system by screaming, "Onna!!" at Noin so many times. |
Top Ten Products or Services We'd Like to See & Would Rather Not See Wufei Endorse: | |
|---|---|
| Like to see: | |
| 10. | Harley Davidson - Picture it: Pigtail-boy roars up on his motorcyle, pulls off his shades and says: "The New Harley - outruns stupid onnas in mobile suits." |
| 9. | Valentine's Day roses -hee hee |
| 8. | The Topsy-Tailer: That weird little thing that wraps your ponytails and pigtails with your own hair and is only advertised on late-night television. |
| 7. | Tickle Me Elmo - Come on now - wouldn't this be great? |
| 6. | Sunglasses |
| Would Rather Not See: | |
| 5. | Lessons at a studio specializing in social dance. |
| 4. | Large household appliances - Come and buy it or stay away from me, stupid onnas! |
| 3. | Bubble gum - Somehow, the image just won't come... |
| 2. | Any soda that requires a fresh, spunky, outgoing image. *looks up from his books* "Do the Dew." *goes back to reading* |
| 1. | Workshops on Teamwork. -"Tell the next guy who has a group project that *you* are the one who will decide on how things are done. *Not* him -*you!!*" |
Top Ten Signs That You're on a Date With Wu Fei: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | You're date keeps calling you, "Stupid onna"... |
| 9. | ... unless you're a man, then your date keeps calling you, "Kisama." |
| 8. | Standing in line for Junior Mints behind your date at the theater, you keep having wicked thoughts about tweaking that little pigtail. |
| 7. | Your date picks you up on a mototcycle - except for the times he lands an MS in your yard and says that "Nataku" was feeling jealous. |
| 6. | At the little seafood cafe you're in, your date makes a scene about the injustice of the high price of lobster. |
| 5. | Your date throws a broadsword at you and shouts, "You're not Treize, but you're good enough! Now fight you (pick one) onna/kisama!"" |
| 4. | Your date's idea of "bringing you home to meet the family" is you watching him take down every man on his colony. |
| 3. | Your date says goodnight, and then hangs his head and says, "Dating weaklings always leaves me feeling so *EMPTY!!!*" |
| 2. | You meet your date at the restaurant and he leaves saying, "I am weak. I'm not worthy of dating you..." |
| 1. | You suggest a movie, only to have your date scream, "No!! I am the one who decides what movie is right and what movie is wrong!!" |
Top Ten Reasons to Like Wu Fei: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | He's an angel, really -when his pigtail's not too tight. |
| 9. | He's a guy who appreciates an "old-fashioned" girl. |
| 8. | In GW fandom, he provides great comic relief for Duo... |
| 7. | He's definately not a "yes" man. (In fact he says "no" to just about everything.) |
| 6. | He becomes downright agreeable when his oxygen's cut off. |
| 5. | He's got the coolest martial arts moves... |
| 4. | ...and so does his gundam. |
| 3. | He caught the eye of an older woman. And an older man. ^_^ |
| 2. | He scares away packs of threatening wild dogs by humiliating them. |
| 1. | The Dragon Fang - enough said. |
Wu Fei's Top Ten Vacation Destinations When GW comes to the U.S.: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Milwaukee, Wisconsin -to snap some photos of Harley-Davidson's HQ and get himself a black leather Harley jacket. |
| 9. | Tassajara, California -he'll spend a few days raising his ki at the Tassajara Zen Mountain Center. |
| 8. | Washington, D.C. - to stand in front of the HQ for the National Organization of Women and rant about onnas not knowing their place. |
| 7. | Atlanta Georgia - to visit the vintage clothing shops and buy something silky and embarrassing for Sally. |
| 6. | Berkeley, California - for pigtail holders, bought from all the funky little sidewalk salespeople on Pioneer street. |
| 5. | Grand Canyon, Arizona -he'll probably enjoy sitting on the edge, meditating, and imagining hiding Nataku down there. |
| 4. | Washington, D.C. - he'll get an officer worker to snap his photo looking stern on the steps of the Supreme Court. |
| 3. | Cleveland, Ohio - to sneak in a visit to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (he'll be wearing his Harley jacket, of course.) |
| 2. | Santa Monica, California - he'll join one of the early morning Tai Chi classes that meet on the beach. |
| 1. | Washington, D.C. - to visit - what else? - the Justice Department. |
Top Ten Things Wu Fei Has to be Thankful For: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Your vocal chords seem able to absorb a lot of punishment. |
| 9. | Treize thought you were too cute to kill. |
| 8. | Vigilantism is not a crime in A.C. 195. |
| 7. | Nataku has a seemingly endless supply of patience. ^_^ |
| 6. | Dragon Fang technology. 'Nuff said. |
| 5. | There are tons of places in A.C. 195 China that can easily hide a gundam-under-a-net. |
| 4. | Nataku (ver. 2.0) - with luck you won't have to fight - just mesmerize the enemy with your kenpo stick maneuvers. |
| 3. | Life is full of possibilities for a 15-year-old widower. |
| 2. | You know from personal experience that "sleeping with the enemy" is more than just a Julia Roberts film. |
| 1. | Sally Po - face it, Justice Boy, that Onna is responsible for making you what you are today. |
Top Ten Ways Wu Fei has for Saying 'No' to a Date: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | If a woman has asked you out, scream, "Onna! How dare you insult me in such a way!" |
| 9. | If a man has asked you out, scream, "Baka! How dare you insult me in such a way!" |
| 8. | Tell him/her that you like to use your Dragon Fang during groping sessions. |
| 7. | Remark icily that you have better ways to entertain yourself - like fight for justice in a world that refuses to understand you. |
| 6. | Get your pilot "friends" to tell him/her what a "people-oriented" person you are. |
| 5. | Say you'll only do it if they change into a robot suit and let you call them "Nataku." |
| 4. | Say the only people you ever date are those who beat you at sword fighting. Give Treize's name as a reference. |
| 3. | Tell them no because, as with Relena Peacecraft, you simply "don't approve" of them. |
| 2. | Refuse, saying you can't bear the thought of Sally driving you and your dates to the movies anymore. |
| 1. | Say no - then take them out with a really good kung fu move. They probably won't ask again. |
Top Ten Signs that Wu Fei has had Too Much to Drink: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Duo calls him Wuffie and he grabs the Braided One and whispers seductively, "You drive me crazy when you do that, Maxwell." |
| 9. | His martial arts moves look like the Karate Kid at the end of the first movie - really wobbly... |
| 8. | He spends an hour trying earnestly to convince Heero that they have to fight against OZ. |
| 7. | He draws happy faces on Nataku with Duo's deep purple gel pen. |
| 6. | He decides to tell the pilots all about his wedding night. |
| 5. | He starts making goo-goo eyes at Sally Po. |
| 4. | He lets Duo put his hair into two pigtail braids. |
| 3. | He starts chasing Quatre around the safehouse, trying to tickle him with "Mr. Dragon Fang." |
| 2. | He tells his grandmother that he's not sure he wants to defend the colony - he just needs to "find himself." |
| 1. | He calls Treize and asks when he can come over again. |
Wu Fei's Top Ten Essential School Supplies for Success in OZ-controlled Schools: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | A copy of the Student Honor Code. |
| 9. | Special sword that can hold No. 2 pencils in the hilt. |
| 8. | Phone card that Treize gave him. |
| 7. | A thorough wardrobe overhaul. |
| 6. | Highlighter pen that extends to martial-arts-weapon length. |
| 5. | Hand-held Dragon Fang, for getting popular cafeteria items *first.* |
| 4. | An attitude adjustment. |
| 3. | Reminders not to address a female teacher as, "Stupid Woman." |
| 2. | Nataku (kept under the stadium seats, of course.) |
| 1. | Lots and lots of self-control... |
Wu Fei's Top Ten Favorite Comfort Foods: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Fortune cookies - he likes reading the fortunes and laughing at them in derision. |
| 9. | Anythng with ginseng - raises the Chi. |
| 8. | Borscht with sour cream. Treize introduced him; he's been crazy about it ever since. |
| 7. | Chinese Gunpowder tea so strong it sits up and barks. |
| 6. | Anything made by a woman who knows her place. |
| 5. | Sally Po's homemade coconut cake. |
| 4. | Milky Way Special Dark miniatures - eaten secretly late at night with Heero while watching Kung Fu movies. |
| 3. | Food that you can eat while yelling and not choke. |
| 2. | Warm milk and cookies -makes it easier to get into that meditative mood... |
| 1. | General Tso's Chicken and an ice-cold Tsing Tao beer. |
Top Ten Things Wu Fei Liked/Bought/Did on the GWing Disneyland Road Trip: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Appreciated the swordplay in the Pirate's of the Carribbean ride more than anyone realized. |
| 9. | Maintained a steely calm on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad while Duo and Quatre screamed in his ears. |
| 8. | Bought 'The Art of Mulan'. |
| 7. | Almost overturned the It's a Small World boat when he saw the Chinese section and shouted, "Stereotypes! Injustice!" |
| 6. | Got spooked during the Haunted Mansion ride. |
| 5. | Bought a set of Cruella de Ville cuff links. Considered giving them to Treize. |
| 4. | Took great joy in crashing into Heero and shouting, "For Nataku!," while riding the Autopia cars. |
| 3. | Had no opinion on the popcorn stands. |
| 2. | Thought the fireworks couldn't have been better. |
| 1. | Was caught on film talking to one of the Chipmunks wandering down Main Street. Had Duo in hysterics. |
Top Ten Things to Discuss with Fushigi Yuugi's Hotohori over Chinese Food. | |
|---|---|
| 10. | The difficulty of getting good Chinese take out in war time. |
| 9. | The true burden of being the most honorable member of the team. |
| 8. | The trouble caused by gaijins with long, blond hair. |
| 7. | Swords, swords, swords -whose is prettiest, strongest, longest?. |
| 6. | Hotohori gives Wu Fei advice on working effectively with a team of bakas. |
| 5. | Wu Fei gives Hotohori advice on how to think about women. (scary!!) |
| 4. | They both ponder the possibility of using Nataku to attack Kutou. |
| 3. | Being chased by men who are hentais - beautiful hentais - but hentais nonetheless. |
| 2. | Love that will be permanently unrequited. |
| 1. | How powerful girls who are legendary heroines (or think they are) can really mess with your life. |
Wu Fei's Top Ten Ways to Get Along With Others: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Adamantly refuse any suggestions of cooperation - especially from guys with long, platinum-blonde hair. |
| 9. | Insult people often, especially women. Social events go more smoothly when everyone knows their places. |
| 8. | Cultivate an air of imperious aloofness; drives 'em crazy and they'll beat a path to your gundam. |
| 7. | Make sure you can immobilize every pig-tailed man on your colony; relationships will carry more respect that way. |
| 6. | Try not to show anyone the intelligent, sensitive scholar you used to be. Just makes you look like a wuss. |
| 5. | Ask them to shut up and put on a green-and-red mobile suit costume. Now you can talk to them! |
| 4. | Always leave after you've toppled the last mobile suit - it really lends an air of mystery to your image. |
| 3. | If forced to interact with a female, call her a stupid woman; chances are good she won't seek any more interaction. |
| 2. | To make someone jealous of you, spend a lot of time alone with your mecha. Whisper to it often. |
| 1. | Hey - you're Wu Fei. Let others adjust to you. |
Wu Fei's Top Ten Reasons for Fighting: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | You're the only one who is any good at martial arts. |
| 9. | Your gundam is the only one that is any good at martial arts. |
| 8. | The tall and dashing leader of the enemy forces is genuinely looking forward to meeting you. |
| 7. | Sometime, somewhere, someone you didn't get along with died. That should be enough. |
| 6. | It provides a refreshing change from scholarship. |
| 5. | Who knows? If you fight long enough your gundam may come to life and you can marry it. |
| 4. | Sally Po is a stupid woman who can't fight... |
| 3. | ...so is Lucrezia Noin... |
| 2. | ...actually, so are all women. To hell with 'em! |
| 1. | It's for Honor and Justice, stupid (woman.) |
The End
(:./kumiko/top5)
