Gundam Wing Addiction Archives

Title: How To Speak Heero-ese In Five Easy Steps!
Author: CleverYoungThief
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Swearing, moderate bashing of everyone throughout (with emphasis on Relena, who is especially bashed, good-naturedly, of course) shounen ai, Spandex(TM)-bashing
Pairing: Implied 1+2
Genre: Humor
Archive: Ask. If I won't give you permission to archive, I'll almost always give permission to link. ^_~
Notes: Ah, the instruction manual that started it all. Also known as "The Dictionary of Grunts". Take some time and get to know what Heero Yuy is *really* saying to Relena... or Duo, for that matter.

 

 

How To Speak Heero-ese In Five Easy Steps! by CleverYoungThief

 

  1. "I'll kill you." Heero's ultimate catch phrase. But what does it really mean?

    1. To Relena, on the school balcony: "You're going to die. You'll never see me coming."

    2. To Relena, after she becomes Queen Of The World: "I wish I could kill you, but now you're too rich and important. Damn. I should have killed you on the balcony... or at the military port... or at the party... or on the beach... "
    3. To Duo: "I have a crush on you, but since the Perfect Soldier has no emotions, you're never going to get a chance to know that. Even if it means I have to follow through with my empty threat."
    4. To Quatre: "I don't really want to kill you, but you leave me no choice, since you have decided to take out your grief and pain on thousands of unsuspecting civilians. Prepare to die, pansy."

    2.  

  2. "Relena... "

    1. At the military port: "You've gone too far, you stupid skirt. I'm going to kill you. This is your only warning. Prepare to die."
    2. On Peace Million: "Goddammit. You just *had* to follow me up here, didn't you? Well, I guess I'll have to go over there and save your hapless heroine ass, since this war might never end without you."

    3.  

  3. "It hurt like hell." Heero says this to Trowa after his feeble attempt at a self-detonation. So, what does he really mean?

    1. "I can't believe that actually hurt. I'm such a weakling."
    2. "The force of the explosion has driven my spandex up the crack of my ass. Please turn around. I need to remove it manually."
    3. "Please leave the room. I have about five hours worth of screaming and cursing to catch up on, and the Perfect Soldier does not scream in front of anyone."

    4.  

  4. "The only way to live is to act on your emotions." Hmmm...

    1. "Trowa, quit trying to impersonate me, dammit!"

    5.  

  5. "Hn." Oh wow. Consider the possibilities...

    1. "You're annoying me. Leave me alone."
    2. "You're not annoying me yet, but you're getting there. You are crossing a very dangerous line. Keep it up, and you'll get a pistol in the face."
    3. To Relena: "You're so naive I'm not going to deign to comment."
    4. To Trowa: "... "
    5. To Wufei: "I'm about to turn your own katana on you if you don't shut up whining... "
    6. To Quatre: "Gomen nasai, but terrorists *do not* wear pink."
    7. To Duo: "You talk enough for the both of us. Baka."

    6.  

    The End

    (:./cyt/howto1)

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