03-Apr-2000
Title: Ultra-Wufei vs. Unezilla
Author: Mobiusklein
Notes: Ok, here's my entry for parody of the week. Extremely off the cuff, silly &
bizarre. It makes fun of Ultra-man, Godzilla, NGE & the Teletubbies & DZ.
Wufei was sleeping in his Gundam when he dreamed that he heard voices and not the usual ones telling him to do justice...
"We are the forces of good," announced, well, the forces of good.
"Are you friends with the voices who tell me to do justice?"
"Uh, yeah, we're really good friends... " said the forces of good, who'd have sweatdropped but didn't have the bodies to do so. "The forces of not-so-good are going to talk to a minion of OZ and going to give her major powers."
"I and Nataku will take care of him."
The forces of good wished they could facevault. "No, it's a woman and she's too much for you to handle as you are. You must become Ultra-Wufei with this capsule."
Wufei saw a capsule the size of a big highlighter pen hanging in the air.
"What do I do with it?"
"You raise it in the air when you're in trouble."
"Then what happens."
"You get really big, silvery with red stripes and beams come out when you cross your arms perpendicularly."
"I see. But Na... "
"Oh, I see. Perhaps Hee... "
"I'll do it! I'll do it!" said Wufei.
"Bye now and use the damn capsule when it's time!"
Now the forces of the not-so-good was talking to Une who smiled softly at the voices and said, "Hello, how can I help you?"
"Put on your glasses."
She did and her hair immediately put itself into its signature braids. "Who are you!"
"We are the forces of not-so-good, and we are going to give you powers so you can get really big and destroy buildings," said the Teletubbies.
"I get bloated during my cycle and I already destroy buildings."
The Teletubbies do a collective sigh. "Want to beat up Wufei?"
"Yes... "
"Then do as we tell you... "
Now Wufei was happily torching the OZ base with his whacky sock puppet... er, flamethrower when Une says, "Well, where are my powers?"
The Teletubbies then rub their tummies.
Une grows to be 100 feet tall, made out of rubber, somewhat lizard-like and can breathe fire.
Wufei takes one look at it and is about to bring out his beam saber when he hears the unusual voices say, "Use the capsule, dude! But you better get out first or you'll end up messing up your Gundam."
Wufei opens the door, stands and raises the capsule.
Tada, Ultra-Wufei. Now Wufei hears the forces say, "OK, you've only got five minutes due to the timer on your chest & you have to beat up the monster a bit before you do the inevitable beam thingie."
"My God," says Treize. "This isn't Neon Genesis Evangelion!"
Maya Ibuki stands up and says, "OH, no, I'm in the wrong series," then she runs out.
Ultra-Wufei and Unezilla butt heads, try to stake each other to death with sharpened trees, and try to find out if crotch-kicking works on either one. (Works on neither one this time around, super powers amazing) After wrestling around, Wufei finally says, "Forehead Beam!" A great flash occurs.
Unezilla was, um, sent to another dimension and had to train with the guys from Dragonball Z. Meanwhile, as a reward for his good behavior, Wufei stayed Ultra-Wufei, Nataku was made sentient, and the couple lived happily ever after.
The End
(:./mk/ultra)
