Date: Sept 8, 1946
Pairings: None
Warnings: Oddness.
Offers of help to: anakerie@cinci.rr.com
?? Pov. (Don't be too quick to assume, though)
Have you ever really thought about your feet? And walking in general? I mean, no one thinks much about it unless they can't. And not many people really remember learning to walk. We just take it for granted.
I like walking. Especially barefoot. Ever gone barefoot in the snow? I like doing that. Sure, it gets cold, but the footprints look neat. I can write my name in the snow too. Good thing my name is only three letters long.
Snow tastes pretty good too. Well, not snow that has a name written in it. I've never tried that. So I guess I'm not really qualified to say if it would taste good or not, but it never looked very appealing. I'm just going to assume it tastes nasty with nothing to back it up.
Don't you hate it when people assume stuff? I sure do. They say that when you assume you make an "ass out of u and me." I guess so. Spelling isn't my strong subject. I got through school mostly copying off the other kids. I was better at math, at least until we started getting away from "How many apples does Timmy have if he had five and Tommy stole one." I answered five because I figured that Timmy would beat the snot out of Tommy and take it back.
I failed math too.
Art was better. I liked finger painting okay. And music wasn't too bad. All I had to do was threaten to sing along and they'd give me just about anything. I'm not very good at singing either.
Art. I dated a guy named Art once. He really liked my hair. He asked me to shave it off so he could make a wig out of it for himself. I didn't like that idea. I told Art to go away. Art kept calling me and showing up, and one day I got a notice from court.
Art was suing me for custody of my hair. Art wasn't the tightest wrapped mummy in the pyramid, you see.
It all worked out okay. The day before the trial Art suffered a tragic blow-dryer accident at Faye's Wash and Curl.
No big loss.
Loss. I lost my cat Precious when I was a kid. I still miss Precious. She was a good kitty; she just fell in with a bad crowd. Drugs, sex, etc. Before I knew it she was having kittens. One day she overdosed on catnip and she never woke up again.
I like to sleep. I curl up in my bunny pajamas and maybe put on some Barry Manilow music. This works out okay in my apartment, but the people at Burger King don't like Barry Manilow I guess, and the manager is always calling the cops on me. I mean, like anyone is going to trip over me when I'm under the tables like that. Sheesh.
What do I do for fun? That depends on the mood I'm in. I'm a bit moody and I like different things.
Some days, for example, I just like curling up with a good book, a bag of Jelly Bellys, and spend the whole day sitting around doing as little as possible. Other days I have tons of energy, and I'm outside shoveling now, cutting grass, and planting landmines. The landmines never grow though, no matter how much I water them. Maybe I need better fertilizer. I've never seen a landmine tree. That would be cool.
Do I have friends? Of course I have friends. I have lots of friends. Tons of friends.
I just hate most of them.
Don't you have whiners? I do. I think that if something is making you unhappy, go do something about it. Go blow something out. Slap someone. Kidnap someone.
Or do what I did. Get another personality to deal with it.
Do you think I should switch to contacts?
End
(:./lasha/wonder)
