07-Feb-2003
Title: By the Numbers (poems)
Author: RurouniTriv
Notes: Okay, I was sitting in front of the computer at work and this came out. I didn't mean to make the boys go all angsty!
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue.
Warnings: Angst, angst, and more angst. Bad poetry. Probably cliches and OOC. Don't read if you're on anti-depressants or have a high regard for the English language.
01
Cold, lonely
Singing stars
The heart of outer space, Quatre called me.
I am that.
Cold and empty
Deadly dispassion
Beautiful only at a distance
To touch me is to invite death.
I'm not human anymore
If I ever was
All emotion trained out of me.
And yet... it isn't.
I still feel, don't I?
Odin, help me!
I don't know what I feel.
02
Do you know what it's like to be tossed aside
To know that no one cares?
Do you know what it's like to see all you love die
To face their corpses' stares?
Do you know what it's like to try and try
And know that you'll always fail?
Do you know what it's like to seek the light
And wind up in a dark jail?
Do you know what it's like to be the hand of death
When all you want to do is live?
Do you know what it's like to have nothing
When all you want to do is give?
Do you know what it's like to watch eyes over you slide
As if you're not even there?
Do you know what it's like to run and hide
And do what no one else dares?
I do.
03
All thoughts cold and calculating
All emotions dead
All hopes blasted to ashes
All dreams drowning in red
I am Nanashi.
This is my world.
04
It hurts to know that life is so cheap
My sisters created like so many toys.
It hurts to know that life is so cheap
My friends, killers though we're just boys.
It hurts to know that life is so cheap
My comrades, discarded as useless.
It hurts to know that life is so cheap
My life merely to continue a line.
It hurts to know that life is so cheap
The victims of this terrible war.
It hurts to know that life is so cheap
The soldiers I have killed.
I hurt. They hurt. We hurt together.
Why is life held so cheap?
05
I have lost her, my wife, my Nataku, Meiran!
Why did you go forth to fight?
It was not your place, it was not your time
It could have been, should have been mine!
The scholarly slackard you scorned so is dead
The coward who refused to fight.
A warrior in his place has been born
Fighting the shadows of night.
(:./rt/poem10)
