23-Feb-2000
Standard Gundam Wing fan fic disclaimers apply. C&C welcomed. Subject matter relates to M/M relationships. If that freaks you out, go away.
The braided pilot was not exactly whistling a jaunty tune while strolling down the corridor from the hangar where he'd been working on his Gundam, but with his hands jammed into the pockets of his black pants and a smugly contented smirk on his face, Duo looked just like the cat who had found - and eaten - all the cream.
Heero.
Of course. It was always Heero.
No, he didn't always act like a child who'd just been given the key to the largest toy-shop in the known universe. He didn't always behave like a starry-eyed young man falling in love for the very first time. Only when he was alone... or with Heero.
Heero. Just the name deepened the curve of the smile on the angelic, heart-shaped face. Three months and counting, each moment immeasurably precious because of the war and carnage that surrounded them, knowing that each time they shared in love's intimacy, it could be their last. It gave urgency to their joining, poignancy in their separation, and joy in coming together again.
At least Duo hoped it was joy that Heero felt. The perfect soldier's facade never crumbled, but if Heero's consistent and deliberate attempts to get him into bed every chance they had was anything to go by, then Heero was *probably* fairly enthusiastic about the relationship.
'Either that or you're just a good lay.' The calm, dry voice in his head, the irritating one that was almost always right, thought it the appropriate time to deflate the young man.
There was probably -that- too, but even that less-than-flattering thought (oh, okay, it *was* flattering, in a way...) couldn't ruin Duo's great mood. At least The Voice hadn't said he was an *easy* lay. *That* would have been deflating... Duo dragged his mind quickly away from that particular train of thought, and then his emotions took over, kicking his brain into an instinctive defense of Heero. Of course Heero hadn't voiced his emotions or thoughts on the relationship, but Duo hadn't exactly expected a declaration of love from him - at least not for several months yet - so that was quite all right.
'You're settling for less than what you're worth -'
No, he told himself firmly, cutting off The Voice in his head. Heero's worth it. And he'll come around, he just needs time. He -
Trowa?
Duo froze in his tracks, looking up wide-eyed at the back of the dark haired pilot as he pushed past him, his long running stride carrying him quickly past Duo and down the corridor. Trowa's bedroom door slammed shut moments later. Duo stared, then blinked and finally shrugged. "Good evening to you too, Trowa," he said, rolling his eyes at his now-absent friend.
But as he passed by the closed door, he paused, violet eyes growing distant, thoughtful now. Trowa never slammed doors - it was just too juvenile... more *his* style, though he usually did it only to get a reaction out of Heero - it was hard work getting reactions out of Heero... unless they were in bed, of course...
Duo wiped the smirk off his face before it became permanent. Get your mind out of the gutter, boy... There's a mystery to be solved here.
'You mean there's a chance for you to live up to the 'Busybody of the Year' title you've been aspiring for... '
Duo ignored The Voice with lofty disdain. "Trowa?" He tapped gently on the door.
No answer.
He counted up to twenty. His conscience prodded gently at him. Okay... so it wasn't really twenty. So what if he could count up to twenty in a total of fourteen seconds; it was just one of his many talents. Another knock. "Trowa?"
And still no answer.
The violet eyes narrowed. Duo began to chew thoughtfully on his lower lip, then put his slender hand on the door knob and turned it silently. The scene that greeted him caused his eyes to widen with alarm.
"Trowa?!"
The slender young man was curled up on the bed in a fetal ball, huddling like a lost and forlorn child. Duo's heart melted instantly and he wrapped himself around his friend, feeling the shudders that wracked the thin frame. He said nothing, simply held his friend and let Trowa's tears run their course until there were no tears left to cry, no tears left to wash away the blood and heal the raw wound.
The words came on their own accord, unprompted, rushing out in a torrent, as if Trowa could no longer hold them back. "The weapons supply base... they knew we were coming for it... There were children there... hostages... " Anguished, stricken green eyes met Duo's gently compassionate gaze. "I killed them all... The building exploded, the burning fragments striking them down and killing them all... "
War. The dark, bloody side of war. If Trowa was looking for condemnation, for someone to punish him, he wouldn't find it in Duo who knew, probably better than most, what it meant to be Death, as cruel and random as an accident. "You did what you had to do," Duo said softly, taking Trowa into his arms and gently stroking the soft dark brown hair. He could still feel the hitching breaths in Trowa's lungs as they strove to recover from the unfamiliar act of weeping. "We have all done... things like these - nothing to be proud of, but necessary. The demons we always have to live with, the price we always have to pay... but if you believe that what we're fighting for is worth it, then we would keep paying it... It's not fair - it never is - but it has to be done... "
It took awhile, but the soft, gentle tenor finally calmed Trowa into a semblance of normality, and the taller man disentangled himself from Duo, his one visible eye downcast, perhaps to avoid Duo's gaze. "Thanks," he muttered, the word sounding somewhat foreign on his tongue.
The corner of Duo's mouth curled into a wry half-smile. "You're welcome," he said simply, tactfully avoiding one of his usual wisecracks. "You shouldn't be alone at a time like this. Quatre -"
Trowa inhaled sharply. "No, Quatre would understand and probably would forgive, but I need to forgive myself first."
Wow. What a long sentence out of the normally taciturn man. He didn't even think Trowa would ever manage a sentence that was long enough to require commas. No wisecracks now, Duo, he told himself sternly. Still, it was funny; he always wondered what Trowa was saving all those words up for. "You still shouldn't be alone, Trowa. I'm here for you."
The green eyes fixed on Duo with burning intensity. At least the one visible one did - Duo could only assume the other did too. "I need to forget... "
Duo shrugged lightly, "And I'm here for you," he repeated simply.
"Heero?"
See what he meant? Another fine example of Trowa's penchant towards never using any more words than necessary. "Heero will understand," Duo said. But his mind nagged at him as he turned into the touch of the gentle hand on his cheek. Would he? Would Heero really understand? This was between friends, nothing more. Trowa needed him now - needed the physical contact to burn away the horrors of what he had done. What had fidelity of the body to do with anything else - it was who you loved in your heart that really mattered... "I love Heero, and you love Quatre," Duo said simply as if it justified everything.
"Then we cannot hurt each other," Trowa summarized, and Duo nodded slowly, in agreement, as the taller man reached out to draw him into his arms. Graceful hands glided slowly, soothingly, across the taut muscles of Duo's back. Strange that Trowa would be so gentle with him, taking the time to enchant and seduce him, instead of just taking what he needed. Trowa, taking the time to prove to himself - not necessarily to Duo - that he was not a cold-blooded murderer. It had the rather unusual effect of making Duo, who had rather expected to be in control, especially considering Trowa's recently distraught state, nervous and tense.
But Trowa's gentle hands were there, calming him as one might calm a nervous young stallion, undressing him - baring the pale, lovely skin to the heated green eyes. Trowa pulled at the band that kept Duo's efficient braid in place, combing long, elegant fingers through the silken chestnut mane until it flowed smooth and free, then his weight shifting as he pressed Duo down to his bed.
The taller man moved one hand slowly downward - smiling at the widening of the violet eyes as he gently ran his fingers over the hollow of his rib cage. Duo's mental resolve to keep this strictly a necessary encounter between friends wavered under Trowa's masterful touch as he felt the rising heat of his own traitorous desire.
The exquisite lips parted for Trowa's kiss as Trowa's hands continued their exploration of Duo's body, fingers sliding across the concavity of Duo's stomach, over his fine pelvic bone and dipping and lingering... Duo moaned softly - the sound half strangled in his attempt to hide it.
Trowa smiled. Duo was exquisite, so endearingly virginal even though he had been Heero's lover for some three months now. Though the two pilots had been fairly discreet about their affair, some things could not be hidden - certainly not the certain muted, soft glow in Heero's cobalt blue eyes when he gazed upon Duo, and certainly not Duo's radiantly happy smile when he gazed upon Heero.
No wonder Heero found him irresistible. Did the Wing pilot truly understand what a treasure he had in this beautiful one? Duo looked lovelier than ever gazing up through half-lidded violet eyes at lover, his long chestnut hair spread out on the pillows, tousled around his face, his lips slightly bruised by Trowa's kisses. The taller pilot smiled again, leaning down to claim the flawless body offered so freely to him...
Quatre had been searching for Trowa ever since the reports of the attack on the weapons supply depot started trickling in - a horrifying report of brutality and blood. How devastated Trowa must be by what he had been required to do; no wonder he had hidden himself away. As the young blond approached Trowa's room, he saw Heero approach from the direction of the hangar. "Have you seen Duo? He said he would come by after working on Shinigami, but I can't find him there either."
Despite his nagging concern for Trowa, Quatre smiled at what Heero had left unsaid. A tryst before dinner. "I haven't seen him since lunch. I'm looking for Trowa." Briefly, he recited the account of Trowa's attack on the supply depot, registered the flicker of concern in Heero's cobalt eyes, then knocked gently on Trowa's bedroom door. Quatre waited for a long while, his anxiety building steadily when it was clear that no reply was forthcoming. The Arabian knocked again... then waited, so very, very long. Finally, he placed his hand on the door knob, turned it sharply and pushed the door open...
They lay in a tangle of entwined limbs upon the bed, breathing deeply as the cool air dried their sweat soaked bodies; hearts pounding still with the wild rhythms. The silence let them sink back into reality. Minutes passed, or hours, then Trowa pushed himself up on one elbow, raising most of his weight off Duo's body, then smiled down at him, thinking that besides Duo, only Quatre had ever worn that freshly debauched look with such beauty and innocence.
"Thank you, Duo."
The generous mouth quirked up into its familiar smile. "You're welcome." The violet eyes were shaded with concern still. "How do you feel?"
"Better," Trowa murmured. Almost strong enough to face Quatre without flinching away from the memory of what he had done to that weapons depot. "Thank you," he said again, simply, then leaned down and placed a feather-light, chaste kiss against Duo's lips...
Then he looked up sharply as the door opened behind them...
Two pairs of stunned blue eyes met horrified violet and green.
Heero was the first to react. The Wing pilot turned sharply and walked away, his handsome face utterly emotionless. "Heero," Duo breathed despairingly, vaulting off the bed, wrapping the white bed sheet around himself and running after his lover, his bare feet thudding lightly over the cold marble tiles. Behind him, Trowa and Quatre stared at each other across the expanse of the room. Hardly more than a few feet separated them physically, but it was a huge chasm that separated their hearts - betrayal etched painfully into Quatre's blue eyes. Then his lips moved, shaping one question... just one word... "Why... "
End Part 1
(:./danyale/tangled1)
