14-Apr-2004
Title: Tetractys
Author: Sol, but archived as Zefyr on FF & MM
Chapter 14 "Netzach, II" --- ONGOING
Genre: Semi-AU, AU-in-AU, Drama, Sci Fi
Pairings: Wait and see.
Rated: R for the time being
Archived: fanfiction.net and gwaddiction.com
Warnings: Violence, language, adult situations, butchered scientific theory
Archiving: Ask permission for each story separately, please.
Critiques: Always welcome, especially constructive.
Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, in case this wasn't obvious. No malicious
infringement intended.
Lena was standing in the hangar, Noin on one side and Meiran on the other, when Wing came roaring through the open bay doors. Sandstone was caught in Wing's grappling claws, still in bird mode. The desert Gundam was dropped unceremoniously, crashing to the ground with a deafening sound. Wing transformed, the jets screaming in protest, and came to rest by Sandstone.
A second later, Wing's cockpit opened and Heero grabbed the winch, lowering himself quickly. He waited with clenched fists as Quatre stepped out. The men stared at each other, until Heero said something that couldn't be heard across the hangar. Heero turned and stalked off, heading for the three women and the main exit. Behind him, Quatre crumpled, falling to his knees.
Meiran started forward, but halted, uncertain. Lena sighed, and nodded her head.
"Go on, Mei," she whispered. "We should be angry, but... "
"We still need him," Meiran replied, softly.
"Yeah," Lena said. Meiran nodded, then took off, running past Heero without meeting his eyes. Lena sighed again, watching Meiran go, and turned her head in time to see Heero sway, shake his head, and collapse. Lena was at his side in three steps, catching him as he fell. "Heero," she called, clutching him tightly. He didn't say anything, and his eyes closed. There were tears trapped in his eyelashes, and Lena curled her body over his, hugging him tightly.
"Lena," Noin said, then, a hand on Lena's shoulder. It surprised Lena. She hadn't heard Noin move to her side. "Let's get him to quarters."
"I can't lift him," Lena replied, not moving.
"We can, together," Noin said. She maneuvered the unconscious Heero around, pulling him upright by one arm, and together the two women brought him to his feet. His head hung down, his legs slack, but somehow they managed to half-carry, half-drag, Heero's body from the hangar.
Heero woke up, his head lying on something soft. It was too hard for a pillow, but too curved to be Trowa's chest. With a gasp, he remembered, and closed his eyes tightly, seeing the flaming ball of Broadarms arcing across the sky to crash in the distance. Heero buried his face against the fabric, smelling the faint hint of laundry detergent and cordite, and realized it must be Lena.
"You're awake," Lena whispered. A hand moved through his hair, and Heero turned his head to lay his cheek against her breast.
"You have curves," he said, struggling to find something to say other than: I watched him die. I could do nothing, except try to kill Quatre in revenge.
"Ah, yeah." Lena's chest rumbled with her quiet laugh. "Women tend to have them."
"It's just... " Heero shrugged a little, gradually aware he was stretched along a bunk, his legs entwined with Lena's. One arm was between his chest and her ribs, and the other arm laid across her waist. There was a light blanket covering them. Heero pursed his lips, trying to think of what Duo might say. The thought made him pause. Duo should be here, he thought. Why wasn't Duo waiting for me, in the hangar? "Where's Duo?"
"He's... " Lena shifted a little under him, and the hand running through his hair stilled for a second, before moving again. "Duo's gone, Heero."
"Gone?" Heero lifted his head, panic flashing through him.
"Shh." Lena pushed his head back down. "We think he went after Tr---Broadarms."
"That idiot!" Heero tensed, then sighed. He just couldn't find the energy to move. He felt like someone had reached inside his chest and squeezed something vital, but a thorough check of his body didn't reveal any injuries. He frowned, unfamiliar with the sensation, and not really sure what might have caused it. Heero settled for growling, "he'd better come back in one piece."
"I'm sure he will," Lena said, but she didn't sound confident. Her hand never ceased running through his hair, though, and he found himself breathing deeper as the ministrations continued. "Heero," Lena added, an uncertain note in her voice, "you love your partners."
*You killed someone I love.*
Heero was silent for several long heartbeats, as he tried to reconcile his battlefield words with his knowledge of himself. Something didn't fit, and his chest hurt too much for him to want to deal with it. What he wanted was Duo, who'd understand and help him say it... and what he wanted was Trowa, who'd understand without Heero having to say anything at all.
"I... " Heero frowned. "I don't know. I guess. A little." He could feel Lena's body moving with each breath, under his cheek and hand, and he found himself running his fingers along her ribs. False ribs, costal cartilage, true ribs, up to her sternum. Her breath caught, and he opened his eyes, watching his fingertips run over the curve of her breast, and swooping down underneath, circling the flesh. "Your body... feels different."
"You're changing the subject," Lena said, but there was a hitch in her breath. He tilted his head to look up at her, and she gave him an amused smile. "It's working, but you're still changing the subject."
"Hm." Heero smiled, and nuzzled his face against her chest, his eyes still fixed on his fingertips, rotating in circles around her breast, then skimming up the center to run along her sternum. "Does that... feel good?"
"Feels really good," Lena said, her voice growing thick. "But... " She put her hand over Heero's, stilling the action. " ...I don't know if now is a good time."
Heero tugged at his hand, but when Lena didn't let go, he changed tactics and pressed his palm flat to her breast, and squeezed. She squeaked, and he grinned smugly, and did it a second time. "The mission doesn't start until tomorrow morning," he said, and squeezed again. The flesh was warm under his palm, the rough fabric of her shirt just enough texture to contrast with the soft resilience of the skin beneath. Lena caught his hand again, pulling it away from her chest.
"Not what I meant," she said, and placed his hand over her waist again, patting it a few times. He snorted, and she reached for his chin, tilting his face up until they could see eye-to-eye. "Heero... Trowa is dead. Duo's gone. You need to deal with that, first."
He closed his eyes, and tried to pull his chin away.
"Heero," she insisted. "How... how does it feel when I say that?" She sounded a little desperate, or anxious. "Don't you feel anything?"
"No," he replied, a bit curtly. "I feel... empty." He jerked his chin away, moving his cheek to rest against her shoulder. "Hollow," he whispered. "Like... there was something inside my chest and now it's gone."
Lena sighed.
"I don't want to feel like this," Heero said, moving his left hand again, only this time he searched lower, to find the hem of her shirt. "I want... I want... " His fingers slipped under the shirt and he spread his palm against her ribs, moving upward under his fingertips touched the underside of her breast. His hand was a slim shape, rumpling the shirt fabric, and he could feel the smoothness of her bra against his callused fingers.
"Heero, stop, please, and listen to me," Lena said, very quietly. Heero frowned, but let his hand remain where it was, and waited. Lena placed her hand against his cheek, then ran her fingers through his hair, scratching lightly. "Heero... in your world, was there someone you liked?"
"Someone I... " Heero shrugged. "I didn't know a lot of people, but I didn't much like Zechs or Treize."
"No surprise there," Lena murmured, but she sounded amused. "No... I meant, as in... was there a girl you liked? Did you ever see a girl, and wonder?"
"See a girl?" Heero wasn't sure what Lena was getting at, and he snorted. "Of course. There were women on the staff. I had to deal with them when doing mission preparing, sometimes, or weapons acquisitions. Quatre and Wufei dealt with other people more than---"
"Still not what I mean," Lena interrupted. "I mean... " She sounded a bit flustered. "Have you ever... " Her voice trailed off, in a humming sound that reminded Heero of Duo, when Duo was trying to think of how to put something. Thinking of Duo made his chest hurt, and Heero pushed the thought away, waiting for Lena to finish. "I mean... have you ever seen a girl and felt... compelled? Like... you absolutely wanted to be with her, discover her... be *inside* her?"
"Inside her?" Heero frowned. "I don't---" He blinked, then, getting the picture. "Oh, you mean sexually. Well, I suppose I've wondered what it'd be like---"
Lena sighed, a deep sound, which reminded Heero of Trowa's long-suffering sighs when forced to deal with Heero's cold feet. There was another rippling pain through Heero's chest, and he tightened his hold on Lena. It felt, suddenly, like there must have been an earthquake, and he was the only one feeling the aftershocks.
"God, Heero," Lena muttered. "I mean, inside, in the emotional sense. Like... you want to find out all about her, everything you could. Just devour her from head to toe. Have you ever felt like that? Felt drawn... like... a magnetic pull. That kind of attraction."
Heero was quiet for a long minute, running through all the people he'd seen and known over the past ten years. Most of them were people he'd later had to kill, in the course of a mission, and he summarily knocked them off the list. Narrowing it down past those he'd worked with, for whom he had little or no respect, the list grew shorter and shorter.
"I liked the girl who sometimes delivered our breakfast," he finally said. "She was nice."
Lena startled him by laughing, and the motion of her chest shook him from his position. He rode out the movement, a little irritated by her inexplicable reaction.
"Oh, Heero," Lena said, then.
Her fingers began running through his hair again. Her other arm wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him close, hugging him awkwardly. She sighed, and loosened her grip, but her hand never stopped running through his hair. It was a warm, comforting gesture, and he relaxed, trying to just enjoy the moment, like Duo had suggested. The thought of Duo... gone... stabbed into his gut again, and he shut his eyes tightly.
"Heero," Lena whispered. "I'm going to ask you a question, and... you don't have to answer, but it's something I want you to think about."
He frowned, but after a moment's consideration, nodded curtly.
"Did you... " She made that humming sound again, but her fingers never stopped moving against his scalp. "Had you ever thought about kissing Trowa, or Duo?"
Heero froze. Her fingers had stopped moving against his skin, and he had to swallow hard before he could take a breath. His fingertips were digging into her ribs, and he struggled to relax them.
"No," he said, and her silence was reproof enough to force him to explain. "Not... not for a long time. When Treize put us together in teams, we were angry. And Trowa was hurting, too, watching Quatre work with Wufei. And we... we decided we wouldn't give Treize the benefit of knowing we'd agreed with what he'd done to us." Heero's voice sounded distant in his ears. Lena's fingers were on his cheek, along his ear, and settling down to rest against the back of his neck. "Then... a few years ago, Quatre and Wufei... changed. They started acting differently." Heero's chest ached again, remembering the little glances, the small touches, and the horrendous loneliness he'd felt, seeing their closeness, and feeling like there was no chance of that for him.
"It hurt to watch," Lena whispered.
"Yeah," Heero said, not even sure how she could tell, and no longer caring. His throat felt tight. The stabbing pain in his chest was fierce, and he had to close his eyes against the swirling, spinning sensation of the world moving beneath him. "But we'd already agreed, and it was settled, and I... "
She was silent for several heartbeats, before saying, "and now you're wondering if you missed *your* chance at that."
He was still for a long moment, unable to breathe, and shoved the awareness from him with a ferocity that surprised him. Propping himself up on one elbow, he leaned over Lena, staring into her sky-blue eyes. Her face was guarded, and he pulled his left hand out from under her shirt to run it across the line between her brows. She started, but didn't say anything, and he studied her eyebrows, her nose, her lips, tracing each with a finger.
"I want to feel something," he whispered, and leaned down to kiss her---
---Lena turned her head away. Heero stopped, then pulled back, confused. "Lena? Wha---"
"Not like that, Heero," she whispered. A tear leaked out from under her closed eyelids. "I won't be your consolation prize. Maybe it'll be different after a while, but right now... no."
Heero didn't even have the energy to be surprised at her words. He could only nod, vaguely ashamed of the hot tears blurring his vision. He dropped his head, and put his hand back across her waist. His hands were twisting to clutch at her shirt, and he buried his face against her shoulder.
"I don't want to be alone," he mumbled. "Don't make me be alone. If they're gone, then it's just me and I'm all---"
"You are not all alone," she chided, pulling him close. His body shook, as he tried to force down the sobs, and her hand moved to run up and down his spine as she hummed in his ear. "You are never *all alone*. We're here... I'm here, and we'll figure something out. But first, you have to grieve... "
"I don't want to," Heero retorted, bitterly, but he couldn't stop the shuddering with every breath. He felt like he was drowning, and he clung to her. "He can't be dead, he can't gone, *they can't be*... "
Lena said nothing, but simply held him. Her hands never stopped moving, up and down his back, along his arm, over and over. The pattern echoed the sound of his own protests, buried against her neck as he cried. It was a physical pain, deep in his chest, but all he could do, over and over, was deny the truth of what he'd seen with his own eyes.
"The truck convoy crossed the Alps this morning," Une said, spreading out a map across the table. "The train is currently running along the coast of---"
She looked up as the door opened, and Lena walked in, followed by Heero. The two were holding hands, but it seemed to Doro as though it wasn't an affectionate gesture. It looked more like Heero was clinging desperately, like a lifeline. His eyes were red, as were Lena's, but Heero's jaw was set in a firm line, his lips tight. Meiran moved over to make room, letting Heero and Lena slip in between Doro and Noin. Lena frowned, noting the empty chairs on the other side of the table.
"Where are Winner and Chang?"
The room was silent, and Meiran fidgeted before speaking. "Winner is in his quarters, sleeping. Zhiyi is watching him."
"Zhiyi?" Lena's eyes went wide.
"She insisted. Chang didn't want Winner left alone, but the technicians needed help putting Sandstone back together---"
"Stay on task," Une interrupted, and tapped the map. "This is our priority. I doubt Winner will be a danger, now."
Heero raised his head, his eyes dull. "What makes you say that?"
"Just a suspicion," Une replied, but didn't look him in the eyes. She lowered her glasses, staring at them for a second before putting them back on. "Based on what I saw ten years ago---"
"Ten years ago?" Heero frowned. "What do you mean? What happened?"
"Our world's Winner took out a colony, while under ZERO's influence," Doro interjected. She straightened her shoulders, studying the map, and feeling skewered by Heero's angry look. "That's what the doctors were trying to prevent from happening again. Get rid of the bug... the error in the code... that overrides the pilot's self-defenses and choices. However, it appears Winner removed all those safeguards in the programming, but he didn't tell any of us. And Chang didn't know of---"
"Of course he wouldn't," Heero snapped. "You never told us."
"We didn't think he'd---"
"---You still should have said something!" Heero came to his feet, his eyes flashing. "This was a risk, and you said nothing!"
"From the tests I saw, it looked like the safeguards had to be working," Doro replied, but she knew her voice probably sounded feeble, as much as the content of her protest. "ZERO originally had impact immediately, but Winner's test showed he was in control---"
"---You *still* should have said something!"
"I agree!" Doro shot to her feet, yelling. The air seemed to go out of the room, and she leaned forward, placing her hands on the map. She bowed her head, and a thick strand of blonde hair slid off her shoulder to pool on the map. It covered Sanq, and she almost laughed at the irony. "I agree," she repeated, in a quieter tone. "I carry the burden of Trowa's death, as much as Winner. I should have spoken up. But I... " was afraid, she thought. No, more than that, I wanted to believe Winner could help, could make a difference. All I've done is barely hold this team together, badgering them and pushing them for ten years now. And I'm down to two left, and I've already lost two more, and I'm just tired... Doro shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. "I should've---"
"It's too late now, for that," Une said, gently. She raised a hand to forestall Heero's complaint. "No. If you were half the Heero Yuy I knew in this world, you would recognize that there are always costs. It is unfortunate that this discovery has such a high price, but it's done. We have three days and counting, everyone. Let's get back to business."
Doro nodded, and slowly sat, watching her hair slide off the table with the move. Heero sat as well, and Lena gasped a second later. Doro glanced over to see Heero's hand clenching Lena's hand tightly, white-knuckled, and Doro almost thought she could hear bones creaking under the force of his muscles. Lena smiled, then, wearily, and Doro suspected Heero must've loosened his grasp, but he didn't let go. A pen rolled across the map and fell to the floor.
"Damn it," Une muttered, accepting the pen back from Noin. "Okay. The train heads along this line, carrying the Gundams. There's been no effort to dismantle or even study the Gundams. The crew just packed them up and put them on the train, moving them mostly at night across a complex list of switchbacks and track changes designed to throw off any rescuers or saboteurs. I understand there's been an attempt to disrupt the Gundam systems?"
"Yes," Doro answered. "We've had the German resistance relay the electronic signal, and all checks indicate we've been successful. The Gundams are now offline until another signal comes through."
"We may need to undo that," Noin said. "If Cat and Hil are going to---"
"Ma'am," a voice said at the door. It was Muraka, the young radio systems controller from the control room. The overhead lights reflected off his thick glasses, giving him a permanently surprised look. "Ah, sorry to interrupt. Thought you might want to know, we just picked up conversation between the Deauville Naval Base standby troops and Bremen headquarters. It appears they're shipping Deathscythe Hell and Broadarms to the tribunal location."
Doro frowned. "Did they call the Gundams by name?"
"No," Muraka said, his face splitting into a wide grin. "As a matter of fact, there's a lot of noise on the lines currently. They're arguing about whether or not they've got real Gundams. And with the recent noise about two 04s and two 05s, they're... " He shrugged, looking blissfully smug. "They're very confused right now, 04."
"I don't doubt it," Noin murmured, hiding a smile. She dropped her hand, and gave Muraka a steely look. "Any word about the pilots?"
"None." Muraka shoved his hands in his pockets and looked abashed. "But we're still listening, and we're waiting to hear from resistance groups around Deauville. They're too close to the base to relay directly, so it may be a few more hours before we get a message from them, if they even saw anything."
"Very good, Muraka," Une said, with a dismissive nod. "Keep listening, and inform us immediately."
"Yes, ma'am!" Muraka gave a sloppy salute and dashed off. It wasn't entirely military, but it was enthusiastic. Une rolled her eyes, and Doro resisted the urge to smirk.
"All right, then," Une said. "Tonight, Noin and I will leave from here with Yuy, crossing the channel... " She pointed to a spot on the map, about thirty clicks north of Deauville. "... Landing here, where the resistance group will be meeting us with documentation for our covers... "
"Wake up," a voice whispered. Duo batted at the sound and rolled over on his side, curled into the blankets. The voice chuckled, and tugged at his shoulder. "Hey, Max, get up. We're supposed to talk to the commander now."
"Make the bed stop moving," Duo muttered. It was swaying, a gentle rocking motion sending him back into dreams.
"Train won't stop for another four hours," Trowa answered. He sat on the edge of the bunk and poked Duo in the ribs, then leaned over Duo with a grin. "Come on." He poked again, and was rewarded with a squeak as Duo wriggled away from the finger.
"Stop that, Tristan. Tickling is cruel and unusual punishment."
Trowa grabbed Duo's shoulder and rolled him over, flat on his back. Duo glared up at Trowa, rubbed his eyes, and tried to glare again. Trowa continued to smirk, and Duo made a face. After a second, Duo sighed, relaxing, and Trowa lowered his head to rest it against Duo's shoulder. Immediately Duo's arms came up, hugging Trowa closely.
"I'm glad you're okay," Duo whispered. "I was so worried."
"I wonder how Haley's doing," Trowa murmured, his hands tightening on Duo's shoulders. "I hope... "
"He loves you," Duo said, but bit back the rest of his words. He'd heard Heero's desperate shout, and it had echoed in his dreams, threading through the sound of the train's engine under his ear. Trowa had tensed in his arms, and Duo sighed, nodding to the unspoken question. "I heard him say it. He does."
"Well, it's mandatory for brothers... " Trowa shrugged, but the tone of the code word was hesitant, almost hopeful.
"I know, but---"
Trowa raised his head, and stared at Duo, as though searching his face for something. Duo frowned, and started to twist away, but Trowa pulled his face back. "Max, listen to me. You won't always be alone, you know. We'll make---"
"*You* won't either," Duo replied. He raised one hand, running the fingers down Trowa's face, and smiled, a little sadly. "We'll find someone who will make you happy, too. *I'll* find you someone, cause I bet Haley will be too busy with that cute girl of his." He ignored the ache in his chest, and tried to brighten the smile. "Right? One down, one more to go."
"Two more to go," Trowa corrected him. "I just wish there were some way---"
Duo laughed, and almost managed to make it sound light-hearted. "Oh, come on, man. You know how it goes. A guy like me is all looks and no brains, and girls these days want brains. It's cool, really. Now... let me up, you're too heavy to be laying on me like this. I can't breathe."
"Whiner." Trowa sat up, his grin fixed, but he looked pained. He reached down, grabbing the shirts they'd been loaned, and threw one to Duo. "Put this on. Your clothes are starting to reek."
"Get nose plugs," Duo retorted, but obediently stripped off his black shirt and pulled on the new shirt, buttoning it up quickly. "I like my clothes."
"I'd like 'em better if they'd been introduced to a cup of detergent recently."
Duo snorted, and the two men were silent as they pulled on their shoes and straightened themselves up. Looking each other over, they left the small sleeping compartment. Outside, a Foundation officer was waiting, his dark green uniform pressed and crisp. He nodded to them, and silently led the way down the sleeping car towards the meeting car. Once a dining car, it had been converted into a traveling office, and the gray-haired officer standing over a set of maps waved Duo and Trowa towards him when they entered.
"Colonel Arrowsmith." The man introduced himself, holding out his hand. "I understand you're the two who brought us the real Gundams."
"Yes, sir." Duo took the man's hand, shaking it confidently. "Max Barret."
Trowa didn't offer his hand. "Tristan Barret."
"Ah. Brothers? Have a seat," Arrowsmith replied, pointing to the bench on the other side of his table. The Colonel's assistant cleared the table, and returned with several cups of coffee, pouring it neatly and efficiently despite the train's swaying. Arrowsmith poured cream in his tea, stirring it before setting the spoon down on the saucer. "Captain Reis told me you're both mechanics."
"Yup," Duo replied, sipping his tea. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Trowa poured a third bag of sugar into the tea, followed by a generous helping of cream. Spoiled, Duo thought, but stifled the impulse to elbow Trowa. Duo grinned at the Colonel. "I'm guessing the fact that we're along for the ride means you're not going to shoot us right away. Maybe you're waiting until we get to Bremen?"
"It'd be a long wait," Arrowsmith said, leaning back. "That's the publicized location of the trial, but it's actually going to be held elsewhere. Frankly, I don't know what they'll do with you when we get there, but I think you can rest assured you'll be kept alive long enough to explain what the hell is going on." A dimple flashed in his cheek, and he suddenly looked twenty years younger, despite the crow's feet that formed around his eyes as he smiled. "I never thought infiltration would achieve anything, but it's really not my area of specialty. I'm just the delivery boy," he added, and chuckled at his own joke.
"You want us to explain how... " Trowa's face was impassive, but he let the sentence trail off, implying the question.
"No, not that. We've already pieced together the chase between you two and 04," Arrowsmith replied. "Although I'm still a bit in shock that 04 blew up a hospital." He frowned, mulling that over. "04 has a reputation for being a stickler for avoiding civilian buildings. That's one thing I've always respected about her."
Duo nodded, shoving down the cold feeling in the pit of his stomach. There were two equal futures spreading out from the Colonel, playing across Duo's vision. In one, Doro was safe. In the other, the Colonel was honored to be present at her execution.
"No, that's not the real question," the Colonel said, his bewilderment becoming clear. "Do you have any idea why there are *duplicate* Gundams?"
"Decoys, dummies," Trowa answered. He stirred his coffee some more, sipped it, and opened another packet of sugar, pouring it in. Duo noticed the Colonel's raised eyebrows, and sighed internally. Trowa didn't seem to notice, but Duo doubted any of the reactions were lost on his partner. He wondered what Trowa was up to, but waited patiently. "We were told we'd get money for information. We're hoping the prize is bigger for bringing you the Gundams ourselves."
"It might be," Arrowsmith told them, and shrugged. "I'm not in charge of that. But as long as you can dismantle the suits, and explain to our engineers how they work - and most importantly, any weak spots they have - then you might have bargaining chips."
"Not a problem," Duo said. He added silently, I'm looking forward to an up-close-and-personal demonstration of just how well Deathscythe Hell can kick some Foundation ass.
"Good." Arrowsmith waved Captain Reis over. "Escort these men back to their bunks, and see that they're fed. We have at least a day's more journey before we reach our destination, men." He shrugged good-naturedly. "I'm afraid I'll need to keep you confined. It'll be boring, but at least you'll be fed."
"Food is always welcome," Duo told him, grinning happily.
"Thank you, sir," Trowa added.
The Colonel waved their thanks away, and turned to speak with one of his other underlings. Duo wasn't able to hear what the man was saying, but he figured Trowa would fill him in on all the details when they got back to their bunk. He was pretty sure the bunk had video surveillance and sound, but it wouldn't be the first time they'd had an entire conversation about making peanut-butter cookies that had nothing to do with sugar, flour, or salt.
Meiran leaned against the door, waiting for several seconds before knocking lightly. She could hear shuffling footsteps from inside the room, and the door was opened to reveal Wufei. His eyes were flat, and he turned without looking her in the eye, leaving the door open behind him. His feet were bare, and his blue shirt was buttoned only halfway, its tails hanging loose over the seat of his jeans.
"May I come in?" She hesitated, seeing his hair undone, and the exhausted drop of his shoulders.
"Sure," he answered, sitting back on the edge of the bed. "You would anyway, even if I told you to stay out." Wufei leaned his elbows on his knees, placing his hands over his eyes. His black hair fell to cover his face, and he shrugged, dropping his hands. "Like daughter, like mother."
"I wouldn't come in, if you did want me gone," Meiran answered, shutting the door gently behind her. She leaned against it, watching him. "But you'd have a difficult time convincing me right now that you really do want to be left alone."
Wufei raised his head, glaring for a second before lowering his gaze. He shrugged.
"He's been awake for several hours," Meiran whispered. "You missed Heero and the Fates leaving, but I won't let you miss our departure, too. An hour, Wufei. You sure you'll be packed by then?"
"I could be packed in five minutes. Sandstone won't be ready in time."
"Every technician we have has been working all night on Sandstone, as well as Shenlong." Meiran chewed her lower lip, and moved away from the door. Stepping lightly, she settled down on the bed next to Wufei, but didn't touch him. "All the Gundams will be ready. Sandrock, Talon, and Nataku are already loaded onto the first cargo ship. So to answer what you didn't ask, no... Sandstone's damage will be no excuse to leave your partner behind."
Wufei snorted, and turned his head away. "He killed children, Meiran. They had no part in this---"
"He was under the influence of a---"
"---He killed children like *Zhiyi*," Wufei spat. "There's no excuse."
"No." Meiran sighed, and stared down at her hands. "There's not. I don't know what would ever make it better. I only know that we need both of you. Now. Not later, when you've had a chance to deal and he's sufficiently beaten himself up about it and then beaten himself down... not later. Now."
"I can't forgive him," Wufei whispered. "And... I can't trust him. He... he *killed* Trowa. He tried to kill Heero."
"You should include Doro in your anger," Meiran told him, her voice small and quiet in her ears. "Because she didn't tell you what happened, the first time ZERO was installed, in our world." Meiran twisted the hem of her shirt, and wished for the ability to be still, like her own Wufei had always had. She sighed and dropped her hands in her lap. "And you should blame me, too. Because I knew, and I didn't say---"
"I don't blame you," Wufei insisted, his voice stronger. He turned his body towards her, bringing one leg up on the bed as he took Meiran's hands in his. "You're not the one who---"
"---I might as well have been," she pointed out. "I withheld information that led directly to---"
"---You didn't take aim and fire---"
"---You're an idiot, Chang." Meiran tried to pull her hands away, but Wufei was holding on tightly. She jerked again, and gave up. "Blame yourself, too, then, for having doubts and not speaking up. Blame the scientists, too, for coming up with the system in the first place. Blame our world's Duo, for destroying himself and the prototype before we could get the data." Meiran yanked her hands away, and threw them up in the air. "There's a whole LIST of people to blame, damn it, if it really will make you feel better!"
"I don't know who to blame... I don't want to," he answered softly.
Meiran stared at him, and impulsively leaned forward, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. "Wufei," she whispered in his ear, one hand in his hair, the other wrapped around his waist, "you're not the man I married, but you are as honorable... and as guilt-driven as he was. Atrocities happen. You can't spend your days second-guessing and fearing life because you've been party to death---"
"I... " Wufei paused, then laughed, a low, bitter sound, and wrapped his arms around Meiran in return. "My wife was never so wise as you." He sighed, his fingers finding their way to one of her pigtails, and pulling on it gently. "She never had a chance to live long enough to know what to say."
"There are no excuses or even reasons for what happened," Meiran said, and shifted on the bed to press closer.
"I should've---"
Meiran gritted her teeth. "It was a collective failure. Can you live with that, at least? Share the guilt with us?"
"I would, but... " Wufei sighed, and shook his head. "But I shoul---"
"Wufei." Meiran sat back, far enough away to look deep into Wufei's eyes. "I'm going to give you a direct order."
"Hunh?"
"For once, shut the fuck *up* and accept the hug."
His shoulders slumped, and he nodded reluctantly, letting her back into the circle of his arms. They were quiet until Meiran stirred, pulling away. Wufei mumbled something, not quite letting go. She grinned unexpectedly, but it was a strained expression.
"Come on. You can deal with it later. Right now, we've got a war to fight."
"Yuy," Noin called. Heero looked up from the gas pump handle. Noin got out of the car, stretching casually before leaning against the door. She was wearing dark jeans, and a fisherman's sweater. Her short blue-black hair was the color of the sky, and the single overhead light's reflection was shattered in her hair, echoing the stars. Heero fiddled with the gas nozzle, and waited. Noin stood close, her voice pitched low. "Are you going to be okay? Lena told me---"
"---I'll be fine," Heero said, a little curtly. He made an apologetic motion with his hand, and shrugged. "A week. Maybe more. Then I'll start feeling the effects."
Noin chewed her lower lip. "I feel like we didn't get off on the right foot. I never knew your... counterpart." She laughed, a self-conscious sound. "I think perhaps I'm a bit intimidated."
Heero blinked, caught off-guard. "You?"
"Don't say it like that," she teased. "Yeah, me. I heard nothing but... oh, this, and oh, that." Her phrasing was oblique, but he understood her implications. Noin shrugged and leaned back to look at the sky. "We need to get going. Sally will be getting anxious if we're not there on time."
Heero raised his eyebrows at the name, pumped the nozzle one more time, and replaced it in the stand. He waited for the receipt to print, and shredded it neatly before taking the keys from Noin. "I'll take this shift."
"Sally's our third." Noin slid in the front seat, and they waited as Une returned from the gas station's convenience store with snacks and drinks. She climbed into the back seat, handed them their drinks, and Heero started the car. Noin leaned back, rolling down the window an inch. "Clothos spins the thread, Lachesis determines its length, and Atropos cuts it."
"In other words," Une said from the back seat, "Noin trains the resistance groups, I deploy them, and Sally goes into the field with them."
"But we've all gone into the field at some point," Noin replied. "So it's not the best analogy."
Heero nodded, shifting up as they returned to the empty highway. "Unusual code names."
"We didn't pick them," Une said, her tone dryly amused. "Some newspaper reporter did."
"About six years ago," Noin explained. "News got out that there were three of us... and right after that, my identity was discovered. That makes infiltration impossible, and going into hotspots... "
"Pretty damn stupid," Une muttered. "Hasn't stopped you yet."
Noin chuckled. "I like the action. Anyway, my name and face being known, makes it easier to be taken seriously when I'm dealing with teaching resistance groups what we need from them."
"I see." Heero stretched his left leg out, and pressed down on the gas. He kept it within the speed limit, but he could feel the clicks passing beneath the wheels, carrying him farther from Trowa's body, and farther from Duo's absence. He wondered if Duo were still alive, and if he'd gotten Trowa somewhere that - he forced himself to think the words - the *body* wouldn't be desecrated.
The silence settled in, and no one said anything to break it.
Doro sat down at the café table, and handed Lena the espresso with a look of distaste. "Can't see how you drink that stuff," she muttered. Glancing around the café, she noted the mid-morning businessmen, and the few political figures picking up coffee before heading to their offices at the administrative palace a block away.
"It's like straight nitro," Lena replied, and slammed the shot back. Setting down the cup, she made several faces, coughed, and grinned. "Damn, that's good."
"You can't even taste it, you drink it so fast." Doro tugged her hat down closer around her ears and stirred her tea.
"Taste isn't the point." Lena tucked a strand of black hair behind her ears, wrinkling her nose. Doro grinned, knowing the wig was driving Lena crazy, as usual. Lena sniffed and took a piece of Doro's pastry. "It's pure energy, babe."
"You are such a gearhead." Doro swatted at Lena's hand, and dragged her pastry closer. "Mine."
"So what's the word?" Lena put her elbows on the table, her gaze darting around the half-empty café.
"The fives and four are in position. Checked into a pretty little hotel in Leiden."
"Bet Zhiyi's enjoying that." Lena pursed her lips, and snatched another piece of Doro's pastry. "Did she say how they're holding up?"
"They're talking. That's progress, but it's mostly business." Doro pushed her plate towards Lena. "You're going to eat it all, anyway."
"Thanks. And the other bird?" Lena nibbled on the pastry, her appearance casual but her eyes were still sharp. "Rose, four o'clock."
Doro let out a sigh. "Good. I was wondering when someone would show up." She waited, as Lena watched the person who'd entered. Doro kept her head down, pretending to sip her tea. Lena smiled, then, and kicked back, eating the rest of the pastry with a great deal of lip smacking. Doro made a face. "I don't recall you being that grotesque when we were kids."
"Oh, please." Lena snorted in a very unladylike manner. "When we were kids, you were busy trying to be thirty-five. There're roses all over the city. It's migrating season."
They're moving into position, Doro translated. She nodded. "The other bird and his harem---" Lena's eyes flashed, momentarily, and Doro bared her teeth, enjoying that she could still get a rise out of her old friend. "---are in Delft. Got there early this morning, and are setting up shop. They'll be sightseeing tomorrow. We can meet up with them, then."
"Rotterdam Zestienhoven Airport's not a bad place, as airports go," Lena observed, a propos of seemingly nothing. "It's a good place for birds to winter, I've heard."
"Take binoculars," Doro said, and enjoyed the confused look on Lena's face as she tried to remember whether that was a code phrase, as well. Doro smirked. It wasn't. Lena kicked her under the table.
"I should drink your tea, for that," Lena muttered.
"You'll taint it with espresso backwash," Doro retaliated. Lena opened her mouth to retort, but Doro's phone chirped. Raising her hand for silence, Doro put the phone to her ear, listening for the correct sequence of tones that would indicate a secure line. They didn't follow, and she frowned, wondering who might be calling instead.
"Ma'am," a man's voice said. "I'm... I'm running late, and didn't have a lot of time---"
"---Who is this?" Doro shook her head at Lena, and clenched the phone tightly. Instinctively she glanced around the café, making sure no one had moved, and that there were no more people lurking by the café window than had been there a minute ago. "What number were you calling?"
"I'm trying to reach Sandy," the man said.
"Oh, I'll take a message." Doro mouthed the name at Lena: Sandy, and Lena sat up straight, curious. It was the code identification for one of the towns in the Southern Netherlands, Doro recalled, but couldn't place it. Lena mouthed something back at her, and Doro made a face.
"The two mechanics who are delivering the cars today... well, they're going to be right on time with the newest models, ma'am." The man hung up; it had been twenty-seven seconds.
Doro stared at the phone, her mouth open, and closed it with a snap. "Sandy?"
"Tilburg, just inside the Netherlands down by the Belgium border," Lena half-whispered. Her lips barely moved.
"Good someone has a memory," Doro replied, and couldn't help but grin. It startled Lena, which made Doro chuckle a little, and she widened the smile into something much more sinister and delicious. "It sounds like we have two more coming to the party... who just happen to be bringing along their own vehicles."
"Two... " Lena's eyes went wide.
"By train," Doro said.
"No shit... they're *alive*." Lena blinked, then managed to catch herself, relaxing her shock into a lazy smile. "I think this deserves another espresso."
End Part 14
Ah! Another question several folks have asked, about the chapter titles. The first four chapters, the Malkuth Arc, all occurred in the original world. Malkuth, in Jewish mysticism, is the lowest sepiroth (sphere) on the Tree of Life. To simplify grossly, it stands for the material world. Yesod, the next up on the Tree, means Foundation. You could consider it the first step towards enlightenment, once one moves away from the everyday existence. Hod is splendor, but its attribute is communication (with a connection to Mercury, the god of messaging services). Netzach is victory, but has connection to Venus, so there's an element of love or beauty in terms of the type of victory or triumph. All very peculiar way to arrange the mini-arcs, but I'm tryin' heah, I'm tryin'!
(:./sol/tetra14)
