12-Mar-2003
Title: To Whom It May Concern
Author: Lasha Lee
Pairings: None
Disclaimer: Still not mine
Email: anakerie@cinci.rr.com
Series: Company Email
To Whom It May Concern:
Yesterday, I left my lunch in the safe-house refrigerator. I do this all the time, everyone knows it. If I take it with me on a mission, I might get blood and yuck all over it. It's safer sitting there next to the milk carton and the cottage cheese.
At least I thought it was safer!
Yesterday afternoon, I returned from my mission, and my whole freaking lunch is gone! Not a crumb left. Everyone ELSE'S lunch was still there. But someone took mine!
Look, when you're being shot at and a bunch of people with a lot of money and a lot of issues have this fetish for wanting you dead, you sort of need to be able to trust the guy who claims he's on your side. Trust him to cover your back. Trust him not to eat your lunch!
Inside that brown paper bag were the following items:
TWO peanut butter and Lucky Charms sandwiches, with the crust cut off the bread.
One Supersnack-size bag of Bugles, the ranch flavored kind.
One Tropical Fun Capri-Sun juice drink.
20 Double-stuff Oreo cookies. Yes, I counted them. There were exactly 20 of them!
One of those really big kosher dill pickles. You know, the kind that takes me forever to find around here? The kind I shared with all of you when I did find some?
I'm leaving now to go blow something up. When I get back tonight, I expect everything I listed above to be replaced, sitting in the refrigerator, and waiting for me.
Or else.
Sincerely
Violated Shinigami
The End
(:./lasha/email)
