11-Mar-2003
Title: Seasonal
Author: Lys ap Adin
Notes: Heero/Duo Mission: Suburbia ficlet, spawned by my desire to play with a GW fandom trope. You'll figure out which one it is.
Disclaimers: Abuse of pizza boys and Biblical quotations.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.--Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV)
(snick)
"So I've been thinking about work."
"Yeah?"
(snick)
"You know how the Lady's always on us to be more efficient, right?"
"Some of us, anyway." He gives me a pointed look. "Not everyone's needed the benefit of her three E's speech."
(snick)
"Yeah, yeah, we function because of excellence, efficiency, and our..." Shit. What's the third E? "No wonder she's always giving me the lecture. I never can remember that third one."
"Ethics," Heero tells me.
(snick)
"Right, ethics. Don't know why I can't remember that one."
"Perhaps because you're bankrupt in the ethics department?"
(snick)
"That was a low blow, Heero, that really was. I'm hurt. Besides, you've never complained about my ethics before." I make another face at him.
"But you're not denying the accusation."
(snick)
"It's not worth dignifying with a response." I pause. "How do you think they came up with the three E's, anyway? I mean, yeah, I can see excellence and ethics, since we're out trying to preempt wars and terrorism, but efficiency? It doesn't fit."
"Perhaps Une added that for symmetry. Or because she knew that you'd signed on."
(snick)
"Man, you're being extra sarcastic tonight. Something got your shorts in a twist?"
"I'm fine. You just keep leaving me perfect openings. I'd be an idiot not to take advantage of every opportunity."
(snick)
"I've trained you well, Heero. I really have... What were we talking about again?"
"You were saying something about work and efficiency."
(snick)
"Oh yeah. Right. Work and efficiency. I figure I'd be a lot more efficient if Une would just give us the damn horny days."
"You're still harping on that?"
(snick)
"Damn right I am. If I weren't sitting at my desk fantasizing about dragging you into the nearest empty office all the time, I'd get a lot more work done."
"...You think about that all the time?"
(snick)
"What, you thought that it was the reports on smuggling in L2-43552 causes me to drool all over my paperwork?" I grin at him.
"I'm flattered."
(snick)
"You should be."
He thinks for a moment. "Since Une shot you down at the last staff meeting, I don't think you're going to get your horny days, Duo."
(snick)
"Damn."
Unperturbed, he continues. "Which means that I'll have to take it into my own hands to see that your efficiency at work improves."
(snick)
I resist the urge to rub my hands together in satisfied glee. "Excellent. So, what are we doing about dinner?"
"Haven't thought about it. What's in the fridge?"
(snick)
"Some hamburger, I think."
"Um... how long has it been in there?"
(snick)
I have to think about it. "Well, I don't know. Why?"
"Because if you're talking about the same hamburger in the fridge that I think you are, then it's sort of green and I think it tried to bite me this morning."
(snick)
"Uh, right. Sounds like takeout to me."
"Well, the pizza guys get worried if he doesn't hear from us, anyway."
(snick)
"I've noticed." He stops to examine his progress. "You know, I do think that the night one of the delivery guys drove out here to check on us was a little weird, though."
"It was. But they care because we tip well. Does this look even to you?"
I study my reflection, where he is tugging at the ends of my hair. It falls evenly on either side of my chin. "Looks good to me."
He lets go of the hair, and it bounces into little waves. "I didn't expect it to be so--um."
"Fluffy?" I suggest, whipping my head back and forth, sending it flying around my face.
"Fluffy works." He ruffles it. "I guess this means I won't have to rescue you from your braid when it tries to choke you in your sleep anymore."
"Nope. No more being late to work because of a bad hair day, either." I think I like this short hair thing so far, which is good, because I don't think I'm willing to invest another fifteen years into growing it out again. "Une'll probably do a dance of joy in the morning. Bet I cause a few of the security people to freak out, too."
He looks down at the mess of hair at our feet. "I'm going to miss it."
"Hey." I turn around and touch his face. "Heero, it's just hair. I'm still me, you know."
"...You're right." He smiles. "Besides, it would have gone away eventually. I think you're getting a bald spot."
"The fuck?" He's laughing at me before I realized I've been had. I poke him in the chest. "I'm gonna get you for that, Yuy."
"I'm so scared. Go call the pizza guy before they send out another search party. I'll get this cleaned up." He stoops and grabs the trash can, but is slow to start lifting hair from floor to trash can.
I kneel next to him, and pick out a largish chunk of hair. "I think I'll keep this. Just as a memento, you know?" I comb out the tangles with my fingers, and hand it to him. "Hold that end, so I can braid it."
He holds it in one fist, thumb slowly working over the split and brittle ends, as I make a quick, tight braid, and tied off the free end with an obsolete hair-band. There's another hair-band on the vanity, which I hand to him, and he uses on the starting end of the braid. It makes a rope of about three feet when I stretch it out. I hand it to him. "Here. Keep this someplace safe for me."
He wraps it around his hand. "I'll do that."
"Good." I reach out and squeeze his shoulder. "I'll go get that pizza ordered, then."
"Why'd you do it?" he asks.
There are a multitude of answers to that, so I give him the simplest, and the most truthful. "Because it was time."
He closes his hand around the memento-braid, and nods. "I want pepperoni."
"We always get pepperoni, freak."
He smiles. "It never hurts to make sure."
"Right, right. I'll go order the usual. You'd think we'd get a discount, preferred customers or something like that."
"Don't you think that it's enough that they added the Maxwell-Yuy combo to the menu?" he asks.
"You know me, never satisfied."
He rolls his eyes. "Tell me about it."
I smack his shoulder. "I don't have to take this kind of abuse. I'm going now." His laughter follows me into the kitchen.
Betty heard the thud and wandered in to investigate. She found Shirley sprawled on the floor in a dead faint, clutching the binoculars. After making sure she wasn't hurt, Betty began to investigate the cause of the swoon.
Later, when they had both revived, Shirley would be very annoyed that she had been there to cushion Betty's fall.
Meanwhile, across the street, Duo Maxwell, having the most fun since Heero had decided the mission called for a horny day, grinned maniacally as the pizza guy stuttered and nearly dropped the order, and decided that tomorrow morning at the office was going to be a blast.
--end
Comments, criticisms, chocolate, chibis, and cherry cobbler welcomed with open arms, and in applicable cases, a fork and napkin.
Bob: Those poor chibis.
(:./lys/suburbia23)
