24-Aug-2000
this is a *very* silly fic, to make up for the fact that draco's birthday fic turned out to be a deathfic. thanks to jade, draco, and em h [aka Lys ap Adin] for letting me put them in [ndlr -- all are hyuy's GW Addiction neighbors]. special thanks to em h for letting me borrow betty & shirl. tyr is here without permission, but i don't care!! [ndlr -- the landlord takes no responsability, having been rendered speechless... I think this clearly establishes the control, or lack thereof, that I have over the authors I host... Oh well...]
you don't have to archive this. [ndlr -- I beg to differ... :-) ]
Disclaimers & Warnings: same as always.
*=emphasis
/=thoughts
Hyuy lay on her stomach, completely still. Her camouflage outfit blended in perfectly with the deer stand she and Jade had set up in the oak tree. Only by watching *very* carefully could you even tell she was breathing.
Night vision glasses held firmly to her eyes, she scanned the yard below. Ah, movement! Her eyes narrowed. Was that the target? She glimpsed spandex and a tank top. Yes!
She reached for the walkie-talkie and flipped it on. "Jade? Hyuy. Angel One is mobile. Repeat, Angel One is mobile." A burst of static, and then Jade's reply came through. "Confirmed."
Hyuy scanned the yard again. There! She watched Jade slip from the shadows, following Heero. It was her job to distract him, while the rest on the plan was being put into operation.
Hyuy picked up the walkie-talkie, changed the channel, and spoke again. "Draco? Phase Two is go. Repeat, Phase Two is go."
"Confirmed."
"Maintain radio silence until objective is achieved."
"Confirmed. Draco out."
Hyuy flipped back to Jade's channel. "Draco is in silent running. Do not contact, except for mission failure."
"Confirmed."
Hyuy put down the walkie-talkie and smiled. She knew she could count on her colleagues to complete their parts of the mission. Now she had to make sure everything was set on her end.
Hmm. They had plenty of video cassettes, the camcorder was rock-steady on its tripod, and focused perfectly on the back yard. The parabolic mike was attached and ready, so not a single noise would be missed. They even had a back-up generator, in case of power failure.
Hyuy sighed dreamily, smiling like an anime schoolgirl. /This was going to be *so* good!/
Draco crept silently along the fence, followed closely by Em H. They were both carrying awkward bundles, but it didn't stop them from making good time. Finally, they reached their objective. Em H peered carefully over the fence. "It's clear", she whispered. "No sign of Angel Two."
"Great. Take out the light."
Em H grabbed a slingshot from one of her bags. Closing one eye, she aimed at the back porch light. Zzzzpt! The back yard was plunged into darkness.
"Go, go, go!" Draco whispered, leaping the fence. Em H was right behind her. They ran quickly to the middle of the yard. Draco opened her bag, and laid the deep dish pizzas on the ground. She sniffed appreciatively. "If this doesn't bring him out, *nothing* will."
"Draco! Come help me with this!" Em H was struggling with her bag. Together, they managed to get the heavy chain, stake, and manacle out *and* set up in under a minute.
"All right, that's done. Do you have the tranquilizer?" Em H asked, looking over their preparations, checking for flaws. With a smirk, Draco held up her dart gun.
Draco and Em H high-fived, and then moved into the nearby shadows to await their prey.
Duo stopped as he was walking through the kitchen. Something seemed wrong. Oh! The porch light was off. He flipped the switch a couple of times, but it still wasn't working. He went outside to see if the bulb had burnt out, and instead saw that it had been broken.
"Damn punk kids! They have no respect for private property." He was about to go back inside when he saw what looked like. . . pizza?... lying out in the yard. /What the hell?/
/OOO! Hee-chan's so kinky! I wonder what he's planning now?/ Duo wandered over for a closer look. He was expecting, maybe, a note form Heero, but instead he received a tranquillizer dart in the neck. He fell over, unconscious.
Draco and Em H stared at each other, stunned. "Oh, my God! We did it! We *actually* did it!" Em H cried, dancing around happily. Draco slapped her on the arm.
"Come on, Em. We're not done yet. Help me get his clothes off, and then we can chain him down."
Oh, right. Do you really think Heero will believe this is all *Duo's* idea?"
"He will, once we get rid of the pizza, and put out the whipped cream and chocolate syrup."
They smiled again, and Em H began unbuttoning Duo's shirt. Draco pulled out her walkie-talkie, and spoke into it. "Angel Two secured."
Jade was sweating slightly, but she hoped Heero wouldn't notice. /I don't know how much longer I can distract him,/ she thought. /He was only going to the corner mailbox. Draco and Em H better hurry./
"So, Mr. Yuy", she said, her best 'innocent child' expression plastered across her face. "You're saying the best way to remove a blood stain is with *warm* water?"
Heero sighed to himself. /Didn't I just explain this? Isn't this girl *listening*?/ He began again. "No. Warm water is for grass stains. For blood, you should use co---"
He was interrupted by a crackle of static from the walkie-talkie Jade was carrying. "Angel Two secured."
/Finally!/ Jade thought. She gave Heero a brilliant smile. "Gotta go! Thank you Mr. Yuy!" She waved and ran off, headed for the deer stand.
Heero watched her leave, a puzzled look on his face. /I'll *never* understand girls./ He started back for home.
Betty but down her binoculars, and turned from the window. "Shirl, they're at it again."
Shirl's eyes brightened, until she saw which window Betty was standing at. "You old fool! That's the wrong window."
Betty rolled her eyes. "Not Duo and Heero. It's those hentai girls. They're at it again."
"Are they setting *another* trap? Hmmph. I don't know *what* Tyr was thinking, letting girls like *that* sublet."
"Well, you know what Tyr's like... hey! I think they've done it this time!"
"Really?!"
"Duo's naked, and chained in the yard."
Shirl ran to the window. "Give me the binoculars!"
"Get your own! I was here first!"
The two women struggled in earnest for the binoculars, as Heero stepped into the back yard, an anticipatory smirk on his face.
END END END
that's it. what did you think?
very silly indeed. hee-hee-hee
On to 'Slumber Party', a sort-of sequel
(:./hyuy/neighbor)
