02-Mar-2000
Standard Gundam Wing fan fic disclaimers apply. C&C welcomed. Subject matter relates to M/M relationships. If that freaks you out, go away.
How quickly things settled down... became normal again. Trowa and Quatre once again practically joined at the hip... Heero in his usual curt, sulky silence, Duo once again the aggravatingly cheerful maniac they all knew...
And the tension simmered still, beneath the surface. Frankly, he was getting tired of it all. Never mind that everything seemed perfectly normal between Heero and Duo, which is to say as normal as any relationship between two dysfunctional persons could be - but Trowa was watchful, and Quatre concerned. Something was obviously wrong beneath the thin veneer of normality... and they were waiting for the cracks to form crevices.
He wondered if he needed to send them an official memo to remind them to *tell* him these kinds of things. If something was up between Heero and Duo, he *needed* to know.
Especially since that braided boy had somehow, and against impossible odds, wriggled his way into a heart that he thought could never come to love again. Wufei stifled a sigh, his face set into its usual distant, yet calmly assessing expression, as he watched Duo. Anyone might have imagined he was sternly disapproving of Duo's antics, but in truth, Duo's energy and exuberance were the most amazing things to him.
He had given so much of himself over to the obscure pursuit of honor and justice that he had scarcely any energy left to just enjoy life as it was meant to be. And it amazed him that the boy who called himself Death was, ironically, so alive, so able to see the beauty the world still had to offer when all around him, he could see only death and destruction.
That same boy was Heero's lover. Oh, they hadn't been able to hide that from him, and the knowledge that they had found happiness in each other's arms had hurt... the dull ache of losing something he never really had.
But now as he watched Duo, he wondered, once again... why did those lovely violet eyes flare briefly with pain everytime Duo looked at Heero Yuy...
"Heero, whatcha doing?" Duo threw himself down on Heero's bed, bouncing just a little, then looked up brightly at the Japanese pilot with his usual irrepressible smile.
Silence.
"You know, the doctors say you should take your eyes off the screen at least once every fifteen minutes. Otherwise the image will burn through your retina. Bet you wouldn't like that. But then again it's probably already happened, has it, Heero? Do you see liquid crystal display monitors dancing in the front of your eyelids whenever you close your eyes... you know, kind of like greenish spots, residual energy... "
Silence.
"Did you ever hear of repetitive stress disorder. I think it has something to do with typing. I think you're holding your wrists at the wrong angle; you're gonna end with nerve trouble if you keep it up. You need to keep your wrists parallel to the keyboard, kind of like this." Duo held up his hands and mimed a typing action.
Silence.
"Quatre was saying we could hold a party here, invite the neighbours. I was thinking it was too quiet, just the five of us. A party would liven things up, don't you think? I know just the songs... Wu-chan's such a party pooper though. He'll probably just stalk off if I asked him to dance and sulk the insult out of his system. Wouldn't you like to dance with me, Heero? I know we stepped on each other's toes alot the last time we tried, but I'd practice this time, I promise."
Silence.
Seemingly not in the least bit dismayed, Duo chattered on about everything in general and nothing in particular, nothing in the lively voice betraying the true emotions hiding behind the cheerful smile.
Hope died in slow, agonizing inches...
Finally, Duo stood up, having talked himself to exhaustion... unable and unwilling to torture himself any more by spending time with Heero and trying to get a reaction out of that aggravating man. "Bye now, gotta go play with Shinigami," he ruffled Heero's hair playfully as he bounced past him. "At least he does a better job at listening, and he's just about as responsive as you too."
Once out of Heero's room, the door safely closed behind him, Duo's apparently boundless energy seemed to drain away. Feeling older... far, far older than his years, Duo Maxwell walked slowly down the corridor towards the hangar where his Gundam was stored. He didn't have the heart to do much of anything else... All he could think about was the man sitting in the room busily working on his computer, the man who had once been his lover, but who now hadn't even noticed his presence...
Heero looked up as the door closed, releasing his breath in a soft sigh.
The braided baka was gone.
Each moment had been sheer agony. Watching Duo surreptitiously... the young man sprawled with boneless grace on the bed, chattering away with careless ease... giving Heero health tips he *didn't* need... talking about the day he'd spent out on the grounds of Quatre's estate... how lovely the sun had been... how beautiful the sparkles on the waters of the lake...
Heero wished he'd been there... not to see the sparkles on the water, but to see Duo in a moment of unguarded delight.
He typed on, listening to Duo's beloved voice... hanging on his every word, not only because of what he was saying, but because he was the one saying it.
The ease with which the words came... the complete absence of pain and heartache in Duo's voice mocked at him. While he was in agony over Duo's presence, so close... yet so out of reach... the braided baka was completely unaware...
How quickly things had returned to normal... How little he must have meant to Duo if the Shinigami pilot could so quickly get over the unpleasant and abrupt ending of their relationship as lovers. Perhaps he had imagined it all along... imagined the soft glow of affection in the lovely violet eyes, the gentling of the familiar, irresistible smile when they made love...
And when Duo had touched him briefly in passing, it was all he could do not to spin around and yank Duo into his arms, kiss the careless, uncaring exuberance from the wide, indigo eyes.
Damn you, Trowa. Damn you for taking Duo from me...
And damn you, Duo. Damn you for making me love you...
End Part 5
(:./danyale/tangled5)
