26-November-2001
Setting: Episode 16
Rated [PG-13] For talk of war and violence
Warning: Slight Shounen-ai hints
Notes: Some official dubbed dialogue has been used in its entirety, while
other parts have been diced, hacked and reordered for my own
artistic/evil purposes.
Status: Complete
Archive: GWA
Special dedication to Yoiko who typed out the scripted I needed to write this. Thanks Yoiko! I couldn't have done it with out ya!
No reason to get excited
The thief, he kindly spoke
There are many here among us
Who think that life is but a joke
But you and I, we've been through that
And that is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now
Because the hour is getting late
–Bob Dylan, All Along the Watchtower
I stood against the wall staring out from the observation tower at the battle raging in front of us. A battle that was made only for two. You could say it was a private party for Zechs Merquise and Heero Yuy. The rest of us looked on as if we were studying a simulation, rather than the potential death of our comrades. But I was used to it by now. Heero made it a point to give his enemies a fair chance to kill him, starting with the Noventas and now with Zechs. I wondered if Zechs' men were just as confused by their commander's odd request. They didn't seem phased by it in front of me if they were. They only cheered every time the Tallgeese delivered a blow to Heavyarms, or commented on how Zechs could have better avoided a hit from Heero's saber. They were fools, all of them, cheering and commenting like it was nothing more than a game for their entertainment.
Though I cannot exempt myself from this fault. I did not attempt to stop Heero from this pointless fight. I helped him. I gave him my Gundam. I specially prepared it for him. And even as I watched on, I found myself mesmerized by this battle, silently approving of his strategy and admiring his strength.
I don't know why. There was no reason for this battle beyond that they both wanted to finish what had begun in Siberia. I found no need for such a thing. Our mutual enemy made us allies by default and it would serve us all better to use that to our advantage. Fighting was counter productive to our cause, and I had become an accomplice.
I can't say I understand why I continued to follow him. Maybe it was how he was so systematic in everything he did. Even in the way he offered his life to those who would take it. His efficiency from fighting to self-destruction was beyond reproach. There was something irresistible to his perfection of every act, whether it was to give his own life or take another's. I found I could deny him nothing, no matter what would be asked of me. Not that he asked anything. He was as surprised as I was that I even stayed with him.
Lieutenant Noin ran into the observation room. Where she was I do not know, but I'm sure it had something to do with Oz. Zechs' people were on the run and Oz was catching up with them. Apparently Zechs' ideals and the directive of Oz were in conflict. "Has it begun?" She was out of breath, running between Zechs' orders and watching Oz's movements.
"We're nearing three hours since the start of the battle." Someone answered her.
"That's a long time, for a meaningless battle." I looked back out the window as the Tallgeese slammed into the earth. I wondered how long Heero could fight hand-to-hand combat in Heavyarms. That wasn't the Gundam's specialty, but he continued to use it like Wing.
"Meaningless? What do you mean, by that?" She seemed confused and a bit angry with my words, as though it was normal to stop everything to fight a duel while on the run from the world's most powerful militia.
"Am I wrong? I don't know the details, but Oz is after you. What's the point of two sides with a mutual enemy fighting each other out here? You think it's the pilot's fate? That's stupid."
"You might have a good point." She sighed and looked out looked out the window, wincing as the two mechas collided. "But they've been out to kill each other until now, so naturally they feel it *is* some kind of fate. This battle will go on until they both realize it is meaningless." She shrugged and then looked back at me. "It's their way."
"People are trying to stop time in order to find themselves?" The other men were staring at us now, rather than the ongoing battle outside. I suppose we had become the half-time entertainment for them. "We're soldiers. By our nature we have enemies, that's our only fate. Do you think it matters who that enemy is? Alliances change all the time, there's no reason to keep someone an enemy simply because they've been one in the past."
"That's not what this is about, Trowa."
"No? I think it is. They've defined themselves by their enemy."
"No. A soldier is not defined by the enemy - the are defined by what they protect. Once they find that, then their purpose is renewed." I wasn't sure if she merely misunderstood me, or had turned the conversation into philosophical debate. But she seemed to be revealing something whether she knew it or not.
I thought about her words for a moment and what they could have meant. Was that what Zechs was searching for? Some thing to protect? And was it this way of honor, or Heero himself Zechs sought to protect? But then why was Heero fighting in this battle? He did have something to protect, and this battle was keeping him from his mission."We've lost sight of how to protect the *colonies*," I told her, and she seemed to understand my frustration.
Noin set her hand on my shoulder, a gesture that I had only recently become accustomed to since I met Catherine. "They feel it's necessary, Trowa. They must fight. It's a matter of honor now. They must continue where Une interfered. Heero lost and nearly died because Une didn't fight fair."
Fairness in war was a concept as foreign to me as repairing a Gundam and handing it back over to one's enemy. "She could have won the war. She was efficient and decisive. Her superior was a fool not to take advantage of the situation."
"*What?* How can you say that? Oz is your enemy, do you want them to win?" She removed her hand from my shoulder and backed away. She was angry with me for saying what was the truth, and I found that odd. Like Zechs she must have had a notion of fair play that went over and beyond the sense of most people. Une was effective, what side she's on hardly makes a difference.
"Until a few days ago, you were with Oz. How quickly do you switch sides when it suits you? How far would you go to follow him?" I pointed out of the window to where Zechs and Heero were still locked in combat. Zechs appeared to have the upper hand, and I wondered what would happen if one of them should win. Would one kill the other, or would they spare the life of the loser and become friends, like in the old myths? The two could be a force to be reckoned with, but that was obvious, so why waste the resources?
"I did *not* switch sides because it suited me!" Her eyes flashed with anger, but only for a moment before they were calm again. She never stayed angry long, and I could sense that she was a woman of great patience. "Many things in Oz are changing. It's not the same organization it used to be." This seemed to upset her. Her voice wavered and she nervously looked back out the window at the battle. "Brute force seems to be taking over where once there was civility and honor."
"Oz?" I looked at her, questioning her assessment of an Oz I was unfamiliar with.
"I understand that the Alliance used force to get what they wanted, and that Oz was a specials unit within the Alliance, but it broke away because of those types of tactics. Treize Khushrenada wanted to establish an era of peace where honor took precedence over the barbarism of the Alliance. But now... now it seems like Romefeller is taking more control each day." She believed what she said, like most soldiers do. It's how they can stand to keep fighting when mere duty or money is no longer enough for them.
"Don't lie to yourself. Your Treize Khushrenada casts his honor off fast enough when the situation calls for it. He used us to kill Noventa for him. He didn't want to get his white gloves dirty. There might have been a chance for peace, but instead the colonies and the Earth are more divided now than ever." She looked stunned at my words, but there was no anger in her eyes this time.
"No. You're wrong." She closed her eyes and shook her head, unable or unwilling to believe the man she staked a moral claim with could possibly be so monstrous. He wasn't in reality. He was no different than any other military leader in history out to win a war. That is why I could understand what Une did when she threatened the colonies. It may have been a cowardly act, but it brought Oz closer to winning the war. As Gundam pilots, we are all terrorists. She fought terror with terror, and it worked. Noin and Zechs were full of ideals, and they could not understand how real wars are fought. "You're wrong about Treize. But I don't expect you to see it. Not yet. You will some day."
There was no need to contradict her. She had left Oz. Whatever she thought of Treize now was her own concern. "We can't afford to be wasting time here." But there would be no stopping Zechs and Heero. They made their choice, whether it was wise of them or not. "I'll make sure there aren't any interruptions so they can get this over."
"You mean the search party?" She shook her head and I could tell she was contemplating whether she should allow me to go. She couldn't hold me if I was determined, and she knew this. "But Trowa, how are you gonna fight them?"
"I'll just have Heero return my favor."
"You can take some of my men with you." Her offer was quite generous. She would need them soon for herself.
"No. But thank you. I can do this myself."
"You don't like them, do you?" she asked, and the question seemed absurd to me. In as much as they could not follow orders, no, I did not like them. They put their mission at risk unnecessarily and failed their commanding officer. Because of them I was forced to reveal my Gundam and kill all those who saw me. I was forced once again to kill, when there should have been no reason for me to do so... all because orders were not followed. But her question was on a personal level, and I did not know them. Through the years I have learned that men - soldiers - are not the same people on the battlefield as they are off of it. There is something more that goes beyond their duty, something which flees from them when they fight and kill, but returns when they are again at rest. I have only seen glimpses of men at their state of rest, not having the time nor inclination to know anything more: to know who they really are. Only their battle skills matter.
"I don't need them," I told her, and left.
~end~
(:./stephanie/watchtower)
