Title: To Touch Your Heart
Author: tkmaxwell777
Category: Shonen Ai/Yaoi/Sap
Pairings: 2x1
Rating: NC17
Warnings: ***Lemon***, Heero may seem OOC
Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam, I just borrow the guys (and use them to my advantage).
Synopsis: Duo asks Heero a personal question and gets more than he bargained for.
Duo lay in bed listening to silence. He hated silence. Silence allowed you to think, and Duo didn't need to think more than he already did. Movement from the other bed a few feet away from him reminded Duo what it was he normally found himself thinking about when in silence...Heero. The other boy was constantly in Duo's thoughts. Duo found himself always wondering what Heero was thinking about; if Heero ever thought what Duo said was funny even though Heero dismissed almost everything Duo said, or how Heero felt about the deeper things of life like friendship and love. Duo's thoughts were on the latter subject particularly tonight, so when he heard Heero shift again, he blurted out a question he had been longing to ask the other pilot for a long time.
"Heero, have you ever had sex?" Duo quickly realized that he didn't even know if Heero was actually awake, and he could have kicked himself. This was why thinking was so bad.
"Nani?" If Heero hadn't been awake before, he definitely was now. In fact, he raised up on his elbow, staring in shock at Duo from the other bed. Duo winced. He was really in for it now. Heero would probably kill him for asking such a question.
"You don't have to answer that," Duo amended quickly as he sat up. "I was just wondering, that's all. I mean, I never have, so I was just curious if you had."
Heero blinked. "You've never had sex?"
Duo heard the disbelief is Heero's voice and felt a flash of anger. "What? Just because I like to flirt doesn't mean that I sleep around. I mean, it's not exactly easy to find someone you can trust, you know?"
Heero was stunned. He could tell he had offended Duo, but he didn't even know how to apologize, so he did the next best thing; "I never have either, Duo."
Duo looked over at him, a joyful smile gracing his lips. "I didn't think you had, but since I'm so outgoing and hadn't, I thought it might be possible that you actually had." Silently, Duo added, 'I'm so glad you haven't.'
Heero shrugged. "I can't even talk to people, let alone get that close." It was an admission he immediately wished he hadn't made. He waited for Duo to tease him about it, but the teasing never came.
"Yeah, even though you're just letting someone touch your body, there's always a chance that they'll touch your heart at the same time. I think that's why I've waited. I'm too afraid to take that chance just for pleasure. I need to trust someone before I do."
Heero had never heard Duo open up and talk about something so seriously. Usually the braided baka was spouting off some nonsense trying to get on Heero's nerves. This was a completely different side of Duo... and Heero liked it.
"How can you trust someone that much? How do you know they won't hurt you?"
It was said in such a matter-of-fact tone that Duo barely heard the underlying vulnerability in Heero's voice. It surprised him. 'You mean, he actually wants to talk about this?' Duo wasn't about to let this opportunity get away.
"You don't, Heero. You just have to hope that you're right about the person. It's a gamble, kind of like when we go on a mission. We never know what's going to happen, yet we keep going even if it means we might not come back."
Heero had never heard it explained like that before. It sounded like a suicide mission ...
"Why take the chance? It's not like you can't live without it."
Duo snorted. "Yeah, at least you can do it yourself if you need to, right?" He gave Heero a wide grin then noticed that Heero was frowning. 'What have I said now?'
Heero suddenly lay back down, ending the conversation as abruptly as it had begun. Duo watched him for a moment, dumbfounded by his reaction, before it hit him.
"Heero, you do release your own sexual tensions, right? I mean, it's a normal thing for guys. You know that, don't you? Heero?"
Heero remained silent. Duo couldn't believe it. Was it possible that Heero even denied himself that bit of pleasure? For some reason, it hurt Duo to think that he did. It was one thing to be distant, but Heero was even hiding from himself; it had to stop. Duo was going to be the one to make sure it did. Before he could even consider the consequences, Duo got out of bed and walked over to the other boy. Heero's head whipped around to watch as Duo settled next to him.
"Why?" Duo asked in a quiet voice, looking into startled blue eyes.
Heero tried to look away, but Duo leaned over him, placing his hands on either side of Heero's face so he'd would have to look into Duo's eyes. "Why, Heero? Why do you deny yourself everything? You won't laugh. You won't cry. You won't even touch yourself! Why?"
Heero was shaking. He'd never felt so... frightened? Was that what this feeling was? Why was he so afraid of just telling Duo why he had buried every desire deep inside? He could trust Duo, couldn't he? He trusted him with his life, why not his heart?
"I... I just never thought that... it would feel good... if I did it."
Duo felt his heart ache. It was such an honest answer, he knew it was true. He let his thumb caress Heero's cheek. "Would you like to feel how good it really is?"
Heero started to tell Duo to get off of him and leave him alone, but something in Duo's eyes kept him from doing it. He wanted what Duo's violet depths seemed to be promising him. He wanted it more than anything he'd ever wanted in his life, so he nodded silently.
Duo caught his breath. Heero had just agreed to let him... Duo felt his heart swell. Without saying a word, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Heero's. Heero let out a gasp at the contact. Duo flicked his tongue out to taste Heero's mouth, eliciting a moan from the other boy. Duo took advantage of Heero's open mouth and plunged his tongue completely inside. Heero shuddered at the invasion, completely overtaken by sensations like he'd never known. He mimicked Duo's movements, his own tongue mating with Duo's. He marveled at the feeling. When Duo moved his hand to brush his fingers against one of Heero's nipples, Heero groaned in response. Duo moved his hand lower to rub against Heero's arousal, only to feel Heero arch into his hand.
"Oh, Duo... please, don't stop," Heero moaned as Duo broke the kiss to let them breathe.
Duo smiled down into Heero's passion-filled eyes. "I'm not going to stop until you are completely satisfied. That's a promise, Heero."
Duo began kissing down Heero's neck until he reached the other neglected nipple. Duo licked it roughly, causing Heero to gasp again before Duo began swirling his tongue around it. Duo smiled at the erotic noises the other boy was making. He couldn't believe Heero was letting him do this. It was a dream come true and he fully intended to make sure Heero never forgot his first time, no matter what happened later.
Heero felt Duo slip his hand inside his boxers. "Duo... yes, touch me, touch me!" Duo pulled Heero's boxers off. He then wrapped his hand around Heero's erection and began pumping it slowly. Heero raised off the bed, trying to thrust further into the violet-eyed pilot's hand. It felt so good. Duo's hand was rough and soft at the same time.
"Duo... I... Duo!" Heero couldn't even form a coherent sentence anymore. Duo kept pumping him, steadily building a rhythm. Heero began moving his hips in time to Duo's strokes. He felt a heat burning inside him, and all he wanted was to let it engulf him.
Duo knew Heero was getting close. He leaned down to take one of Heero's nipples in his mouth. Pumping Heero's erection as he licked lazy circles around the pink flesh was all it took to send the other boy over the edge.
"Duo! I think I'm... Ahhh!" Heero screamed as he climaxed. It seemed to last forever. Pulse after pulse of his seed flowed onto Duo's hand and his own stomach. Heero finally lay there unable to move. He closed his eyes, trying to regain control.
Duo raised his hand to his lips and licked the other boy's essence. If he never got the chance again, he at least was the first to taste Heero's passion. It was the most incredible feeling to know that. He wrapped his arms around Heero and lay beside him.
Heero felt Duo take him in his arms. He moved closer to Duo, wanting to feel the other boy completely against him. What Duo had just done for him was amazing. Something had happened. It wasn't just a physical response that Heero had experienced; it was much more. When he felt Duo's arousal pressing against his leg, he felt his own arousal respond again. Duo hadn't asked for him to touch him, but Heero couldn't just let the other boy suffer. Heero looked up at Duo's face. There was a look of utter contentment, but Heero knew that Duo needed release. 'He's ignoring his own need because he thinks I don't want to touch him.' Duo's words from earlier came to him, and Heero realized that he wanted to give Duo something that would mean more to the other boy than it ever would to anyone else.
"Duo?"
"Mmm?"
"I want to... give myself to you."
Duo's eyes flew open to look into Heero's perfectly serious face. 'I didn't hear him say that. I know I must have just been dreaming.'
"What did you just say?"
Heero felt his face flush, but he wasn't going to take it back. "I want to give myself to you. I want my first time to be with you because I trust you, Duo. You're the only person I've ever trusted."
'He really was listening to me earlier,' Duo thought to himself, amazed at what Heero was offering him. 'I can't do that, can I? I don't want to hurt him.' Duo looked at Heero, trying to decide what to do. When Heero brushed Duo's cheek with his fingers, Duo knew he couldn't deny him or himself. 'We both need this.'
Without another thought, Duo rolled over on top of Heero, taking his mouth in a passionate kiss. Then Duo removed his own boxers. There were no longer any barriers between them. Duo pressed his naked body against Heero's and felt Heero's mounting arousal. Heero grabbed Duo's hips, moaning as their erections rubbed against each other. Duo's mouth claimed Heero's again and again as he let his hands roam all over the other boy's body... the body he would soon claim as his own. That thought made Duo pull away suddenly. He got up and went over to his nightstand. Heero raised an eyebrow at him as Duo walked back to the bed.
"What's that?"
Duo actually blushed. "It's lubrication. I don't want to hurt you." The words echoed Duo's thoughts from earlier, yet took on a completely different meaning.
Heero looked at him. "Will you do something for me?" Duo nodded without hesitation. Heero continued, a little embarrassed. "I want to touch your hair." Duo smiled and pulled it free in one motion.
Heero breathed in the sight. Duo was standing naked in front of him with his beautiful hair flowing around him, getting ready to make love to him. It was more than he could ever have asked for in his life.
Duo saw the desire in Heero's eyes. He got back in bed with his soon-to-be lover and began preparing him. His own arousal was screaming, and he needed to find release as soon as possible, but he wanted Heero to feel no pain. He lubricated his fingers, then settled between Heero's thighs. Heero touched Duo's hair as they gazed into each other's eyes for a few moments. Duo then let his hand slide down Heero's erection then to its true destination. As he touched Heero's tight entrance, Heero arched. Duo placed one finger inside, watching for signs of pain. Heero moaned, but it wasn't from discomfort. He soon began moving back against Duo's hand. Slowly, Duo stretched him, adding another finger, then finally a third. By that time, Heero was moaning loudly and thrusting hard against Duo's fingers. Duo knew he was touching Heero in the right place and that Heero was ready.
Heero couldn't believe the feeling of Duo's fingers inside him. Every time he pushed back against him, he felt an incredible sensation flow through him, like Duo was hitting the pleasure center of his body. Heero buried his fingers in Duo's silky hair, letting his body go into sensory overload. When Duo removed his fingers, Heero cried out in protest. He didn't want for that feeling to end. He was about to tell Duo that when Duo placed his lubricated shaft against his entrance.
"Are you sure about this, Heero?" Duo asked breathlessly. 'I don't think I can take it if he says no, but I have to ask anyway.'
Heero nodded fiercely. "I need you inside me, Duo. Now."
Duo breathed a sigh of relief as he slowly began entering Heero, allowing the sweet torment to overwhelm him. Heero felt so good. Duo had never done this before either, so the experience was just as new and exciting for him as it was for Heero. He had done some 'research' after the first time he'd laid eyes on Heero, but nothing had prepared him for the real thing. Duo groaned as he kept inching his way inside the beautiful boy underneath him, sweat dripping off his body from the exertion.
"Oh, Heero. You feel incredible," Duo breathed as he finally was fully seated inside him.
Heero was moaning. He couldn't believe how he felt. Duo completed him; he would never doubt it from this night forward. When Duo looked deeply into his eyes, Heero felt like he was living for the first time in his life.
"Duo... please." He didn't know what he was asking for, but Duo seemed to. Duo began moving. He pulled almost completely out of Heero, then slowly pushed back inside. Heero met his thrust with one of his own. Duo thought he was in heaven. Each time he pulled out and pushed back in, it was like dying... and being reborn. He changed the angle as he thrust back in again, and Heero screamed.
"Duo! Yes! Just like that... Oh yes!" Duo began thrusting into Heero harder as Heero screamed out his pleasure. Duo thought he would climax just from Heero's voice alone.
They fell into a rhythm. Finally, Duo knew they couldn't last much longer. He reached his hand between them and began stroking Heero's hard arousal. As he did, he pounded into Heero, making the other boy scream even louder from the double stimulation he was receiving.
Heero thought he would die. No one could withstand such pleasure and not die. Duo was stroking him inside and out, and Heero felt his last thread of control break.
"Duo! Oh, Duo!" Heero screamed his lover's name as he embraced his own death. White light enveloped him, and he felt his seed pump from his shaft as his own voice became his dirge. Tears of joy filled his eyes as he felt and heard Duo join him in completion.
Once Duo felt Heero's release, he could only thrust a few more times before his own climax overtook him. "Heero! Ai shiteru!" He screamed as he emptied himself into the boy he loved, forever joining them in a way neither one would ever understand completely. Duo then collapsed beside Heero. They lay there for a moment, then Duo began laughing. It flowed from deep inside him, rivers of joy and freedom overcoming him as he surrendered.
Heero opened his eyes at the sound, wondering why he could hear Duo's laugh, when Heero had certainly died from Duo's lovemaking. 'Why is Duo laughing, anyway,' he thought, a little annoyed. He looked over at the other boy, who was lying beside him with tears flowing from his eyes as his mirth continued.
"Duo? Are you all right?" Heero asked, beginning to get concerned about his lover.
Duo looked over at Heero, tears streaming down his face, and smiled. "I just told you I loved you." Heero turned on his side to look at Duo, and Duo noticed Heero's tears for the first time. He reached his hand up and brushed them from Heero's eyes as he spoke. "So much for just wanting to make you feel good. I'm sorry, Heero. I can't help how I feel. I do love you. I hope that one day you'll be able to feel the same way about me. Even if you don't, I will always remember tonight. Always." The last word was said in a whisper.
Heero lowered his head until his lips met Duo's for a deep kiss. When he released Duo's mouth, he placed his hand on Duo's face, wiping the other boy's tear away. "I died, you know. The old Heero was buried under a mountain of passion tonight." Tears begin to fill Heero's eyes again as he looked into Duo's, "I know the old Heero wouldn't have been able to accept the words you just said, but you didn't say them to the old Heero. You said them to the reborn Heero, the one you saved with your love. The old Heero may not have been able to say them back to you, Duo, but the new one can. Ai shiteru, Duo. Forever."
Heero lowered his head again to claim the lips of the boy who had touched him like no one else ever had. His tears mixed with Duo's, another symbolic union of their souls. Duo had been right... sometimes when a person touches your body, they touch your heart at the same time. Duo had captured Heero's heart as his own the moment their lips had touched.
Owari
(:./tk/ttyh)
