23 Aug 2001
Pairing: 2xR
Category: Romance
Rating for this section: NC-17 is probably a little strong,
but better safe than sorry, eh?
What to expect: Hetero-ai, probable sap, LEMONISH.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Sunrise, the Sotsu Agency,
and Bandai, and I intend only to increase their revenues by
contributing this derivative work.
/ denotes thoughts, emphasis
She's the wave
She turns the tide
She sees the man inside the child
Duo woke with a sudden convulsive cry, jerking upright so violently that he dumped sheets and blankets onto the floor; one hand scrabbled feverishly under the pillow for a revolver that was no longer there. He fought for breath, staring at the opposite wall to orient himself while he tried to get the wild pounding of his heart under control. It took a moment before Duo even remembered he wasn't alone; when he finally registered that Relena was sitting up next to him, her eyes huge in the darkness, he dropped his head into his hands in mute horror.
/Great. Just great. Of all the nights to lose it--/
But Relena didn't seem especially alarmed; in fact, she was rubbing his back with long, reassuring strokes, murmuring something comforting. He couldn't look at her.
After a few moments, she ventured a question. "Some water? Would that help?"
"Think so. Yeah." Anything to keep her distracted--maybe then she wouldn't notice that he was sitting there drenched in cold sweat, trembling like a scared kid.
There was a brief rustle as she pulled his bathrobe down from its hook on the back of the door; then light from the bathroom spilled into the hall, and the tap ran for a few seconds. All too soon, Relena was settling onto the edge of the bed again, offering him a glass. Duo took it, managing to take a few sips without slopping water everywhere. He dragged a hand over his face, willing his voice to sound steady. "Stupid nightmares--no big deal. 'M okay."
Relena drew her feet up under her, tucking her cold hands into the wide sleeves of the robe. "I know."
She was looking at him with those calm eyes again; Duo heard himself explaining, even though he had been determined to gloss things over and hurry her back to sleep. "Sometimes if there's a noise, it's like it makes it into my sleep--and then it's all over but the screaming."
"I think I did hear--" Relena went softly to the window, the sash of the oversized robe trailing behind her. "There's a garbage-can lid on the ground; it made quite a racket when it fell. Almost like a shot."
"It doesn't take much. And I don't even have to be asleep. Last Peace Day, somebody decided fireworks in the park would be a neat idea." Duo winced, remembering. "I'm still not sure how I ended up under the bed, but Hilde says she had to sing hymns at me for almost an hour after the booming stopped. Pitiful." He looked up at Relena, trying for humor. "Especially since Hilde doesn't actually know any hymns."
"It's happening to lots of people," Relena insisted, coming back to climb onto the bed. "And all the things I've read say that it's perfectly natural. Those habits kept you alive, didn't they? It makes sense that it would take you a long time to let them go."
It all sounded very reasonable--but it never felt reasonable, not when Duo found himself reliving mobile suit battles in the middle of rush-hour traffic. Not when a news feature could bring back the smoke, and the blood, in colors more vivid than any film could capture. And that wasn't the worst part; the worst part was not being able to tell where the memories stopped and reality began.
Once again, he found himself putting the unspeakable into words. "Sometimes it's--it's like the lines get all blurry. I lose track of who died and who lived, and I start thinking that it must have been me who died. That they're all still alive, really. The ones I killed, and the ones I didn't get to in time--"
"You're alive," Relena broke in. "You are. I don't know if that's better or worse, but it's true. See?" She gathered up one of Duo's hands, placing it flat on his chest; his own heartbeat thudded against his palm, still racing.
Duo closed his eyes, concentrating on that urgent rhythm: the steady rush of life, confidently insisting on its own survival. The warmth of her hands was another confirmation--proof that he wasn't alone.
Finally Duo felt steady enough to look up, though he could still feel adrenaline singing through him. He blinked, focusing first on their tangled hands, then following the pale curve of her arm up to her face. Relena smiled hopefully, her face shadowed with concern; Duo tried to smile back in reassurance, but the sight of her drove every coherent thought completely out of his head. Moonlight pooled on the curves of her cheek and throat, casting mysterious shadows everywhere else. Her eyes looked almost black in the pale oval of her face, deep and sweet like still water. The hastily-donned robe was mostly open, midnight-blue terrycloth slipping to reveal creamy shoulders; if it slid just a little more....
As if still dreaming, Duo watched his free hand reach out for the robe's edge, pushing the fabric until it fell in heavy folds around her waist. Relena went very still, lashes fluttering and falling as she looked down and away. She made no move to free her arms from the robe's sleeves, remaining as motionless as an ivory statue waiting to be brought to life. Spellbound, Duo let his fingers trace the outline of her face, the arch of her neck, the sensitive underside of one breast. Relena caught her breath, and Duo looked up to see her throat convulse as she swallowed. The vulnerability in her posture made something ignite in him, and he almost snarled with sudden hunger.
/Prove it. Prove to me that we're really alive. I need--/
It was taking him over too quickly, the nightmare's adrenaline rush eagerly redirecting itself into another kind of urgency. The things he wanted were crazy: to gather her hair around his wrist, a silken rope to hold her fast; to bite into that white shoulder, making her moan his name; to plunge into her again and again until this mindless aching was sated. Duo clenched his fists in mute denial; his hands were too hot to touch that cool, perfect skin, too dirty for that silver purity. He could hear his own breathing, a harsh panting sound, and was disgusted by his own animal need. He fought it, shaking his head viciously.
"What is it?" She reached out to touch his face.
"We can't--I shouldn't--" He tried to pull away, vaguely intending to bolt from the room.
With a little growl of exasperation, Relena launched herself at him, toppling him backwards onto the bed. Her mouth found his in a demanding kiss, her hands braced against his shoulders. Duo couldn't think, couldn't breathe--could only open himself to that kiss, hanging on to her like a life-preserver. When Relena finally drew back, she was glaring at him. "Don't do that."
"Don't do what?" Duo protested, still gasping for breath.
"That annoying protective self-denial thing you do."
"I was just--"
"Duo." She disentangled her arms from the robe's sleeves, leaning down to kiss him more gently. "You don't have to be so careful with me." Another deep, drugging kiss, leaving him adrift in desire again; she shifted to straddle his hips, pushing impatiently at the robe until it tumbled off the edge of the bed. "I'm not made of glass, you know."
He tried to explain, though he couldn't take his eyes away from her mouth. "You don't know what I might do."
Relena paused, raising a delicate eyebrow. "If that's supposed to scare me, it's not working. Quite the opposite, in fact."
"I don't want to hurt you," Duo managed, trying not to think about how little it would take to shift enough to slip inside her.
Relena only smiled, leaning down to twine her arms around his neck. "I won't let you."
Duo might have continued protesting on principle, but then Relena slipped a hand between them to curl gentle fingers around him, and he gave up all thought of resistance. Responding eagerly to her caress, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her thoroughly, excited almost past reason by her answering moan of delight. He flailed in the general direction of the nightstand, unable to suppress a groan at the change in position when Relena shifted to snag the box he couldn't quite reach. Sitting up, she extracted a packet and wrestled with the foil for a moment, frowning in concentration as she figured out the mechanics of its contents. Duo tried not to move, keeping his eyes shut against the seduction of sight--until at last he felt the cool kiss of latex, and then the tight heat of her body around him as she took him in.
Forcing his eyes open, Duo looked up into Relena's flushed face, taking in the determined set of her chin and the sultry promise in her eyes. He reached up to pull her closely against his chest, bracing them both with one arm as he eased her onto her back. "You sure? You'll tell me if I hurt you?"
"I will." That was her negotiating smile--all sweetness and steel. "If you promise to do the same."
"Deal." The word was barely comprehensible, more growl than speech; but as it was immediately overtaken by a kiss, it didn't really matter.
Their first time had been carefully paced, and as gentle as he could make it; this was more like an explosion, swift and relentless. Relena was open and willing beneath him, but not submitting--she met him kiss for kiss and thrust for thrust, matching his desperate need with a delighted ardor that evaporated all Duo's doubts on contact. Just listening to her cries of pleasure was enough to heighten his excitement to fever pitch. She wanted this too, needed it just as much--and it was that realization, almost as much as his own spiralling pleasure, that ultimately tipped him over the edge.
At last, still shaking from the violence of their shared climax, he collapsed onto the bed next to her. "Well, I'm dead now," he groaned.
"Only a little bit," Relena's giggle was sidetracked by a yawn. "Sleep, and you'll be alive again by morning."
"Promise?"
She answered without hesitation, snuggling against his side with her head on his shoulder. "Promise."
End of Part 7: Sanctuary
(:./lilias/mystified7)
