28-Jun-2000
Title: Breaking Predestination 12/?
Author: TB
Archive: yes please GW Addiction
Category: AU, some yaoi
Pairing(s): R+1, 2x1, 5xSally, 4x3, etc
Rating: R
Warnings: angst, language
Spoilers: yes
Notes: A million times infinity thanks to Marsh for
the *major* help she has been musing and betaing for
me. This fic is set in AC 202, and the series and EW
are considered cannon. I borrowed some space-shippy
type stuff from Star Trek.
Feedback: please, thanks in advance
Disclaimers: I neither own nor profit by use of Gundam
Wing.
Maxwell drew a deep breath. He didn't have the slightest idea if anything catastrophic was going to happen should he lay eyes on his younger self. Maybe nothing would happen--maybe he'd just screw everything up, without *any* chance of fixing it, this time.
But his eyes went straight to the young man leaning against the wall, pressing his cheek into the cool plaster panel. And his mind became curiously clear and sharp. It was perfectly obvious what he had to do, of course. He straightened his shoulders, and deliberately scuffed a shoe on the floor, making a harsh sound that his younger self heard immediately.
Duo looked up. His fingers paused where they worked through the tangled strands of his hair.
"What kind of stunt was that?" Maxwell taunted softly, giving the door a push that almost closed it and walking further in.
Violet eyes narrowed, taking in his appearance. "Who the hell are you?"
"Who the hell do you think?" Maxwell came to a stop a few feet from his younger self, quietly trying to control his breathing. Nothing earth-shattering had happened yet. Faint nausea churned his stomach, but that could have been stress.
Duo laughed shortly. "I'm too tired for guessing games, buddy. Why not just enlighten me?"
Maxwell retorted, "You know any other Americans with eyes like ours and braids?" He nodded toward the lank mess that was Duo's. "Even if yours looks like shit right now."
Duo's eyes widened. After a moment, he muttered, "Yeah--right."
"Will you just pretend that you accept what your eyes are telling you? There's more important things to do now."
Duo slowly climbed to his feet, and took a rather wobbly step toward Maxwell. "You're--me."
"I'm you."
"No way, man--no way!" Duo moved to walk around him, giving him a wide radius as he looked the taller man over. Maxwell allowed it. The nausea was getting worse. Hard to tell if it meant anything. "Yes, way," he muttered, sarcastically. "You believe in miracles. Meeting yourself shouldn't be too hard to swallow. Would you rather I was Solo, or Father, back from the grave?"
A low snarl greeted that almost-dare. Yes, pushing Duo to wake up from his mire of grief and self-punishment was the best way to do this. Maxwell gave a small prayer of thanks to Whoever was watching for the honesty that had always marked his character--whatever the anguish it had cost him at times.
Duo darted close suddenly and reached for his throat. It took all of Maxwell's considerable control not to jump as those cold hands tore at his collar. Standing this close to his own younger body brought dizziness almost overwhelmingly to his consciousness, and he exerted the very last of his power in not swaying. If Duo felt anything, it was fear, emanating from him in waves. His long fingers trembled as the traced the line of Maxwell's breast, following the silver chain to the crucifix nestled beneath the layers of his clothing.
Duo shivered. "If I believed you," he asked, a little choked, "if I believed you, what would that mean?" He touched the little cross with its tiny bleeding Christ, and then his hand went to his own identical cross, hidden at the same spot.
"It would mean a chance at saving your soul," Maxwell said.
A new voice broke the tension like a rock thrown into a still pond. "Well, if you're going to leave, you'd better get going."
Duo and the Captain whirled to face the door. Quatre smiled wanly at them. Behind him, Trowa lounged against the door, arms crossed, expression surprisingly kind.
After a moment, Maxwell nodded. "Thanks."
"I can buy you a little time," Trowa said, and disappeared, heading back toward the board room.
Quatre gently touched Duo's face, then looked up at the older man. "Where will you go?"
"Angel. I assume, since *I'm* still around, that my ship is, too."
"Did you ever really believe that you'd just disappear if you saved Relena's life?"
A small smile answered that. "I really wanted to."
Quatre nodded. He understood. "I trust you won't mind terribly if I accompany you."
"And if I do?"
"Then I'll turn you over without a backward glance."
Hirde met the three of them in the hallway, and without any further exchange of words, they headed for the garage to steal a car.
"I want to know the whole story," Duo said again, a little angrily now. He was curled in a cushioned seat in the small shuttle that Quatre had bullied his way into piloting, before the hapless port crews had a chance to call for their superiors. The young man was perspiring heavily, and his arms were locked around his abdomen; he was obviously experiencing great pain. Maxwell too was deeply affected by the nearness of his double, though he controlled his visible reactions better.
"There isn't the kind of time for that," the Captain replied at length. "The point is that now, you don't *need* to know. The reason for my being here is over--or almost over, anyway." Suddenly he levered himself up from his seat and headed toward the pilot's cabin, muttering something about relieving Quatre.
Hirde slid into the seat he'd vacated, and touched Duo's knee. Her eyes were soft as she looked at him. His eyes, however, were a little wild.
"You know who I am?" she asked directly.
He nodded, reaching up to wipe sweat off his cheek. Nervous violet eyes skipped over her form, noting changes, filing them away for analysis later, when he wasn't still so stunned. "Hope you don't mind if I just feel a little weirded out by this," he rasped.
"No." Hirde swallowed hard. "Look. Can I be blunt? What I did to you, all the stuff I said to you, to make you do this thing--I never forgave myself. Making it right, well, it was just as important to me as it was to, uh, you, in our time. Duo, I--"
"It's all right," he whispered, staring at her.
"No. It isn't. Duo, I was young and stupid and I loved you in a selfish, childish way. I did a desperate thing, so that I'd have you to myself." The confession seemed to sap all the strength out of her. "I had to live with what I'd done to you. And that was worse than loving you and knowing that I'd never have you."
Duo was silent.
After a moment, it was more than the Commander could take. She stood and started to head back to her own seat. A quick rustle of cloth was the only warning before Duo grabbed her hand.
"Hirde!"
"We'll be docking at the satellite soon. Are you going to make it?"
"Don't do that," he insisted, and for a moment sounded so much like the Captain she was familiar with that she paused. "Hirde... I always loved you. And I'm glad too, that--that we stayed friends into your--time. You understand?" Earnestly he looked up at her.
She nodded, and smiled. "Thanks, Duo."
Quatre's voice snapped in over the intercom. "We're here."
Despite the increasing discomfort of standing face-to-face with his older self, Duo was powerfully fascinated by Angel-5 and her crew. Maxwell didn't give him much time to look; he hurried Duo through the satellite and had him standing before a small, unremarkable shuttle that his crew had "procured" for the purpose.
"She's yours," Maxwell explained shortly. "Take her and get out of Earth's space before they think to look for you there. Whatever you do, don't get caught, okay? And stay away from J. He's just plain bad news."
Duo laughed a little. "I hear that." He looked at Quatre, who was subdued and a little sad. "Why're you helping me?" he asked, uncertainly.
"Maybe I respect who you are, and what you'll become," was the enigmatic answer. "We've all done unforgivable things, Duo, and still found forgiveness for it. I'm the last person in the world to condemn you."
"Go heal yourself," Maxwell said. "Take your time. If there is a God, nothing is going to interrupt you for a long, long time. And... do yourself a favour. Forget about Heero."
Duo looked a little stricken. But then he nodded, and the grief flickered and died as he buried it. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah."
End Part 12
(:./erin/break12)
