22-Dec-2003
Title: After Words
Author: Sol, but archived as Zefyr on FF & MM
Pairings: None
Rated: PG
Archived: https://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1652157 & GWA
Warnings: None
Archiving: This is an exclusive for GWA and Psyche.
Critiques: Always welcome, especially constructive.
Disclaimer: I just like to take them out and play with them. I promise to put them back where I found them.
Author's note: This one-shot was written for Psyche's Women at War challenge, "a fanfiction
challenge created to generate non-romantic stories featuring the women of
Gundam Wing." If you're interested, there's still time for you to write
something, too - the deadline is December 24, 2003. You can find more
information at the following site: www.happyfangirl.org/womenatwar/index.htm
When I wake up, the ceiling is bright, and I squint. It takes several seconds for me to register everything. My back and sides ache, and it hurts to breathe, like something's sitting on my chest. My left arm is cold, and my fingers feel numb. My throat is dry, and my eyes hurt. I blink several times, forcing tears to my eyes, and nearly cry for real at the relief as the scratchiness fades.
"...uo."
I blink a few more times, frowning as I try and turn my head towards the sound. Or maybe no one's speaking but that's me. The sound comes in and goes out, and I shake my head a little, trying to focus. There's a girl sitting in the chair by the bed. I give her a puzzled look.
"...right back."
I nod, opening my mouth a few times and closing it. She gets the hint, and stands up, pouring me a glass of water. Leaning over me, her long hair drapes across my face before she smiles and flips it over her shoulder. It takes several tries but eventually I get several gulps of water down my throat. She helps me settle back on the pillow and sets the glass on the table.
"Better?"
"Yeah," I rasp. "You're that girl..."
She nods, pointing to herself. "Relena," she says.
I smile, and try to concentrate. "What were you saying before? I... my head is fuzzy."
"I was saying Duo is finally sleeping, and the doctor will be right back."
"Duo!" I nearly sit up, in shock. "I have to give him something. I have a disc, it's got---"
She grins and stands up, placing her hands on my shoulders as she pushes me back down. "They got the disc," she tells me. "Duo gave it to Heero. They both said they couldn't have done everything without your help."
Relena sits back down when I nod, blinking a few more times as the jumble of memories dances through my head. I remember being on the Libra, and stealing a mobile suit, but I also recall a birthday party in the middle of it, and something about going skinny-dipping at the school pool after hours with my two best friends. I notice Relena's worried look and give her a tired smile.
"My head is all upside-down," I say, and she nods uncertainly. "It's like my memories were shaken up and now I can't puzzle them out."
"The doctor said you have a concussion," she explains. "That's probably going to make things muddy for a bit. Just relax."
I nod, sighing as I lean my head back. "So I missed everything," I say, and sigh. That really wasn't my intention. Lying in a hospital bed while all the good stuff goes on without me. I scowl, and Relena giggles quietly.
"You're as bad as they are," she tells me. "I bet right now you're mad you missed the big fight."
"That obvious?"
"Yeah." She shrugs and plays with the end of her hair. "You're on the Peacemillion now, and... well, the doctor said it'd be best to not tell you everything that's gone on until you feel a little better. So I'll just tell you that the good guys won."
"Which are the good guys?" I frown a little, trying to sort out my memories while she talks. There were two girls on the Libra, and I talked to one... and then there was a mobile suit. And I didn't stop off a birthday party, I was being chased by... I frown, as I hit a blank spot.
"Our guys," comes the simple reply.
I glance at her, but her expression is level and firm. "The Gundam pilots," I say slowly, trying to make sure. There's a flash in my head of Duo's face on a view screen, and I wince. He was yelling at me. "Duo's mad at me," I tell her, very quietly.
"If he was, he's over it now," she says with a smile. "He came here right after they got back. But Howard shoved him out of here after his third visit, when he fell asleep and nearly fell out of the chair and knocked over the IV stand."
I giggle and roll my eyes. "He's an idiot."
"I think it's a requirement for piloting a Gundam," she says dryly, but there's something in her tone I can't place. A deep sorrow, maybe, or a certain listlessness, like an ache. She brightens, and leans forward to rest her elbows on the bed next to me. "But he's your idiot, at least."
"I... " The statement makes me pause, and I consider that for several minutes. The ceiling is still white, and I take another inventory of my body. Everything hurts, now, and I try to breathe a little shallower. That seems to help. "I don't think he's my idiot. Not if you mean the way I mean." I turn my head to study her. "Is that other guy... Heero? Is he your idiot?"
Her face falls, for just a second, but the brilliant smile is back immediately and she shakes her head. "Not really. But I wouldn't mind if he were." Relena winks at me, and I'm startled. It's the last thing I expected, and I smile back. "I used to daydream about it," she admits, as if telling a huge secret.
"There was a clown," I tell her, then stop. I saw him again, and now I'm wondering whether the circus and the birthday party and the two mobile suits that were Gundam pilots were really part of the fight. "Tall, with green eyes and hair that hangs in his face... "
"Trowa," she tells me. "He's one of them."
I nod, and make a note. The circus is a real memory, then, but I don't think it belongs with the memories of getting to the safety of the Gundam pilots' homeship. "He's handsome," I say, returning her confession with one of my own.
Relena nods, and grins widely, and the expression just makes her more beautiful. Suddenly I'm not sure why Heero wouldn't be hers, and I sigh, closing my eyes as I feel the IV drip wriggle in my arm with the movement.
"Hilde? Is something wrong? Are you okay?" Her voice is anxious, and she lays a hand on my shoulder, but doesn't shake me.
Slowly I open my eyes. "I feel like I should have done more. Does that make sense?"
The girl tilts her head, watching me for a long second, and then nods. "But you still did more than me. I ran around and made a big fuss and in the end I still had to be rescued."
"So did I," I point out, and then frown. "At least, I think so. I'm still getting it all straight in my head."
"I envy you," she says suddenly. "Duo told me about the disc you brought back, and how brave you were, facing down those mobile dolls." Her face falls, and I can see just how young she is. She looks elegant, poised, but she's my age, and probably just as uneasy and worried and nervous and self-conscious as I am. "The pilots have said some really nice things about what you did." She gives me a rueful look. "I feel like all I've done is stand around and look pretty."
I grin, and nearly laugh, but my ribs hurt too much. "I recognize your face. You were the Queen of the World. I'm just some kid from L2 who lucked out and met a cute guy who turned out to be a Gundam pilot."
"And I was walking on a beach and met one," she retorts.
I don't get it, but I laugh anyway. "Oh, that hurts," I gasp, letting the laughter subside. "And one of the others was in a circus?"
Relena nods.
"They turn up in the strangest places, I guess." I shift a little in the bed, and wonder whether I could try to sit up. "Wonder what they'll do, now that it's all over. It is over, right?" I give her a quick look, and she nods emphatically.
"All over," she repeats. "I don't know what they'll do. I haven't really asked. I don't... " Relena sighs, and drops her gaze. "Not sure I want to know."
"Yeah. Guess that would make sense, wouldn't it? They show up, change everything, and leave... " I lift my right hand, flexing the muscles, clenching my fist, and let it drop. It feels heavy, dense, and unwieldy. "Change everything," I whisper.
"Including us," she says. "Even me."
I nod, and we're both quiet for a few moments. "Still wouldn't mind having one of them for my own," I whisper. She's startled, and then starts laughing. It's a full laugh, and she throws her head back, her whole body in the motion.
"Is there room for someone else in here?" A new voice says, and I look past Relena to see Duo standing in the doorway. His braid is frazzled, and there are dark circles under his eyes, but he seems calm, and almost peaceful.
"Plenty of room," I tell him, with a little smile. Relena's quieted down, but she spontaneously giggles as he comes around the end of the bed to sit on my other side. He gives her a wary look, and then narrows his eyes at me. I smile at him, realizing what's got him so nervous. "We were just talking," I assure him.
"Anything about in particular?" Duo perches on the edge of the chair, and does his best to smile, but Relena's sudden grin visibly frightens him. His eyes are wide. "Hey, don't want to interrupt if this is a girl thing."
"Not a girl thing," Relena assures him. "Just... kind of a partner in crime thing," she adds, with a conspiratorial smile my way.
"Something like that," I agree.
The End
(:./sol/after)
