Title: To Fly On Broken Wings 4/?
Author: tkmaxwell777
Category: Shonen Ai/Yaoi
Pairings: 1+2, 3x4x3(implied throughout), OCxOC
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: If I promise to take good care of them, can I have them...please? Oh, all right...Bandai, Sotsu, & Sunrise own them...but hopefully, they'll continue to share J Kyle, Toby, Jesse, & Cara belong to me!
Archived: Yep! Lev rules!!!
Duo slammed his apartment door behind him. The rage he'd felt in the club had dissipated to steady anger in the time it had taken him to walk home alone. He tried to pinpoint what had upset him the most but couldn't decide if it was the fact that Heero had danced with him without telling him or that he hadn't recognized Heero when he had.
"I can't believe he danced with me like that last night then showed up at my door tonight as if he hadn't seen me in months," Duo spat to himself out loud. "It was bad enough that he mentioned the doujinshi a total of three times since he walked through that door, but he didn't even say a single word about the letter. If I needed any more proof that he was here purely for sex, then I guess I sure got it on the dance floor!"
Duo turned to walk towards the bedroom when he saw Heero's book lying on the table. He stalked over to it, grabbing the book to rip it open to the dedication Heero had written. As he reread it, he felt his heart break a little more. He didn't understand how Heero could have written such wonderful things without accepting his love, but hadn't Heero shown he was that talented? Duo thought about how the boy had danced. It had been the hottest thing Duo had ever seen. He could still feel Heero's body pressed against him, still taste the other boy's mouth, still hear the low moans that Heero had made in response to...
Duo shook his head to clear away the memories. "It was only physical!" he screamed at himself as he threw the book across the room. He then continued to the bedroom. He knew there would be no sleep tonight, but he was determined to at least try to fool himself into believing that dreams would come, even though all of his lay shattered on the floor by the crumpled book in the living room.
Kyle turned to ask Toby what he thought they should do, but the redhead wasn't there. He felt a sense of dread settle in the pit of his stomach when he realized how close they had been to sharing their first kiss... before Kyle had turned away to watch Heero and Duo. Had he made Toby think he didn't want it to happen? Kyle looked over at an equally stunned Jesse and Cara then motioned for them to follow him to the back where they could talk.
"What's going on K?" Jesse asked when they finally got to where they could hear each other.
"I don't know, but listen, I'm gonna go talk with them both. I need you to do something for me while I try to help them out."
Jesse smiled. "Of course, man, whatever you need."
"Yeah, you know you can depend on us, Kyle," Cara added, smiling just as warmly.
Kyle patted her shoulder. "Thanks. I need you guys to find Toby. He seems to have disappeared, and I think he thinks... well... that's not important. What I need is for you to tell him that if he wants to continue our dance, he needs to meet me at my place in an hour. Tell him that I'm sorry to run out like this, but I have a feeling that if I don't do something, D and 'Ro are going to make the biggest mistake of their lives."
Jesse nodded. "Got it. Dance. Your place. One hour."
"I hope Duo is okay," Cara said, concern evident in her voice. "He was livid."
"I know," Kyle said sadly, "but I think it's mostly his fault to begin with. I have a feeling Heero just doesn't understand what Duo wants from him. I'm going to make sure I find out what the deal is and fix it. It's the least I can do for those two... and for us. We can't afford to lose any of the crew... we're family."
Both of the others nodded their heads in agreement then went to find Toby. Kyle took a deep breath, determined to get this mess straightened out. He could see how things could get complicated quickly; Toby was proof of that. He knew the other boy well enough to understand that Toby took what happened as a rejection of sorts. Hopefully, Jesse telling him what Kyle had said would take care of that and let the other boy know that things were okay. Kyle just hoped it would be as easy with Heero and Duo; somehow, he had a feeling it wouldn't be.
Heero stared out his hotel window trying to accept the fact that his dreams had come to an end. Ever since Duo had told him that he loved him, a part of Heero had wanted it, even when he hadn't understood it; now he would never know what it was like to return that love. He tried to tell himself that it was all for the better, that Duo would have just ended up losing interest after a while, that Heero would have been devastated when that happened, and that the pain he was feeling was a lot less than what he would have felt; he knew it was a lie, but the truth didn't offer him the kind of comfort he needed. The lie at least gave him the illusion until he could face reality.
Heero was brought out of his thoughts by a knock at the door. For a moment, his heart leapt at the possibility of it being Duo coming to tell him that he still loved him, but he quickly quelled that thought, trying to learn how to protect his heart again like he used to before he had opened it the braided boy he would never claim as his own. He opened the door without even looking to see who it was, uncaring if it was someone he didn't know. What could anyone do to him that could be worse than what he was enduring? He was surprised when a pair of deep green eyes met his startled blue ones.
"Heero. You okay?"
Kyle took in Heero's appearance and knew the answer to the question before he asked it. Heero just turned and walked back across the room, leaving the door open, presumably for Kyle to come on in; at least, Kyle took it that way.
"Listen 'Ro, I know you're upset, but you gotta talk to me. I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding here, and I think I can help if you'll just let me."
"The only misunderstanding was when I believed Duo could love me," Heero replied coldly, trying to regain his distant demeanor he had abandoned only a couple months ago.
Kyle frowned. "No, Heero. Listen to me..."
"No! You listen to me, Kyle!" Heero yelled, letting his pain turn into anger so he could deal with it. "It's over. Duo lied to me. He lied! He told me that no matter what I needed, that's what he is. Not what he was or what he would be, but what he is. He made me believe that I could trust him, that he could fill the emptiness. He made me believe..."
Kyle watched as Heero fought the silent tears that were escaping from his closed eyes. Kyle suddenly wanted to tie Duo up in a bed sheet and beat him for making Heero go through this. He knew that Duo's expectations of the other boy were beyond what Heero could give him at this point. 'Why the hell can't Duo see that?' Kyle asked himself as walked over to Heero and laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Heero, I know you're hurting. You have every right to be upset with Duo. You trusted him to understand you, and instead, he's acting like an idiot. I don't know what his problem is, but I promise you that before this night is over, I'm gonna find out, and I'm gonna make sure he gets his head out of his ass!"
"Then you'd better do it before morning, because I'm leaving on the first shuttle to L1 tomorrow." Heero opened his eyes to look at Kyle so the green-eyed boy would know he was completely serious.
Kyle swore under his breath. Both of them needed to be tied up in a bed sheet and beaten, preferably the same bed sheet. "Well, then I guess I need to hurry," Kyle said sarcastically as he turned to leave.
Heero stopped him before he could walk out the door. "K, I... thank you." Kyle saw the defeat in the other boy's features, as he spoke, "I just don't know what to say to him to make him understand how I feel."
Kyle reached his hand up to Heero's face and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Just tell him you love him, 'Ro. I think that's what he's waiting for. I don't know how he could not see it, but apparently love really is blind." With that the other boy left. Heero walked back over to the window, looking out at the night sky... and waited desperately for a falling star to wish upon.
Duo lay wide-awake in his bed. He had not allowed himself to cry. He refused to shed any more tears for Heero Yuy; his crying for the moon days were over. He was contemplating what he was going to do about his job. There was no way he could continue drawing the doujinshi in light of what had happened. As much as he hated to quit in the middle of something, he couldn't even bring himself to go into his studio, let alone draw the images of him and Heero, albeit Rayne and Dey, together. He could easily get a job as a commercial artist. He'd worked as one before his doujinshi had become so popular. He just hated to give up. A knock sounded at his door, and Duo wondered for a brief moment if Heero would have come there to talk to him.
"Well, if he did, he's certainly going to get an earful," Duo muttered to himself as he got out of bed and proceeded to the front door. He jerked it open to find Kyle standing there, anger and frustration evident on the other boy's face.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Duo?"
Duo just stared at him for a minute, trying to figure out why the other boy was so pissed. "What do you want, K? It's been a rough night, and I just want to get some sleep... or at least try to."
"Rough night? You look like you're having a pretty smooth one compared to the cobalt blue-eyed boy who's shedding bitter tears alone in his hotel room right now." Kyle paused so that could sink in.
Duo felt his heart skip a beat. Heero? Crying? Impossible. "What are you talking about, Kyle?"
"I went over to Heero's hotel to see if he was okay. He's fighting to keep control of his emotions, but he's completely confused as to why the one person he thought knew him would treat him like a piece of shit. I can't understand it either, but I guess you would be the one for me to ask, right?"
Duo stiffened. "How did I become the bad guy here? Look, Kyle, you don't know a damn thing about Heero and me, so just stay the hell out of it!"
"I can't. He doesn't know what to do to show you how he feels about you. He doesn't understand why you are pushing him away. He is lost, Duo. Why are you hurting him when you supposedly love him?"
"He lied to me, K! He danced with me last night without me even knowing it."
"How many guys have danced with you that you didn't even know, Duo? What does it matter? You'll let anyone press themselves against you, using your body for a moment's pleasure on the dance floor, never asking them for more, but when Heero does it because he just wants to be near you long enough to give him some courage to tell you how he feels, you make it a crime!"
"Did he say that?" Duo asked, feeling a little sick to his stomach because it was true.
"Yes. He told me that when I asked him about it. He didn't do anything wrong, Duo, except misjudge you. You were the one who lied to him. You told him that whatever he needed, that's what you are, but when he tried to reach out to you, you put conditions on that love before he even had a chance to have it."
"Did he mention the letter?"
Kyle hesitated. Heero had said something about a letter, but Heero hadn't said anything about it being all that important, just that it told him to go to Duo when he accepted his love. Why was Duo asking about it? Wasn't it obvious that Heero had read it when he came over there? Kyle decided to play dumb to see what Duo would say. "What letter?"
Duo felt his anger return. "The damn letter I gave him ten months ago. The damn letter he was supposed to open when he accepted 'aishiteru' from me. The damn letter he hasn't mentioned once since he's been here! If he really loved me, he would have told me that he'd read the damn thing, K!"
Kyle understood then, but the fact that Duo was making that letter mean so much made him wonder how much Duo really loved Heero if he placed more value on the letter than on Heero's actions. "Once again, you're placing a restriction on the love you offered to him freely. Heero has more than shown you that he cares for you. Duo, do you love, Heero?"
Duo gritted his teeth, but he couldn't lie about it. "Yes."
"Do you want him to be with you and share your life?"
Duo clenched his fists, but he had to tell the truth. "Yes."
"Then you'd better get the hell over to that hotel before morning because Heero's leaving to go to L1 tomorrow." With that Kyle turned and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.
Duo just stood in the middle of the living room for a moment. Kyle's words echoed in his mind, and he felt the anger at the other boy's interference overtake him. "Just who does he think he is?" he asked out loud. "He doesn't know how Heero was before. He doesn't know how Heero pushed me away all the time. He doesn't know how many tears I've cried. I wouldn't have even drawn the damn doujinshi if I could have had the real thing!"
Duo let out a growl of frustration and stalked into the studio. Walking over to his drawing table, he looked down at the layout for the next issue of 'Broken Wings'. "It's so easy to make things work out on paper. Real life isn't like this! Heero was supposed to tell me he loved me. He was supposed to promise me forever. He was supposed to make me quit being afraid of loving him!"
The scene of Rayne holding Dey after they had made love tore at Duo's heart, and before he could stop himself he picked up the paper and began ripping it to shreds. With each tear, he felt a piece of his soul ripped away. He didn't even notice the tears streaming down his face until he looked down at the remains of the drawings. Suddenly, his eyes were drawn to cobalt blue across the room.
"Whatever you need, that's what I am..." Duo whispered as he looked into pain-filled eyes of the portrait he had done of Heero. Or did those eyes hold more of his own soul within their depths? What was he really afraid of? Finding himself in Heero? To need someone that much was a frightening thought. Did he fear that Heero wouldn't find what he needed in him and leave? He could hear Heero's voice in his head reciting the poem 'Complete me, complete me'. They weren't just words; they were a plea from someone afraid they would never have what they wanted.
Realization filled him, and Duo collapsed to the ground with a strangled cry as he began sobbing. Kyle was right. He had offered his love to Heero so confidently then denied the other boy, before Heero could even understand the security of being loved. Duo was supposed to be the one teaching him, but he had demanded from Heero something he himself wasn't willing to give... love without expectations.
"What have I done? Oh Heero, what the hell have I done to us." He looked up at those eyes again, and whispered, "Please don't let it be too late."
Kyle walked home with a heavy heart. He had done all he could do to help Duo and Heero. It was up to them now. He had been a little rough on Duo, but it had been necessary. Duo would thank him for it later... well, maybe not 'thank him', but at least he wouldn't hold it against him. Duo was good about that.
Kyle rounded the corner of the hallway and spied someone standing outside his door. Relief flooded him as he recognized the redhead who was leaning against the door jam. Apparently Jesse and Cara had done their part for the boy's beautiful brown eyes were sparkling at him. Kyle smiled in greeting.
"Hey there... been waiting long?"
Toby smiled back. "No. Now what is this I hear about you wanting to pick up where we left off?"
Kyle felt his pulse quicken. Those hadn't been his exact words, but the other boy had figured out what he'd meant by what he'd told Jesse to tell him. Kyle watched as Toby moved toward him, the motions of his body seductive in nature; Kyle couldn't help but swallow nervously.
"Something like that," he answered softly.
Toby reached out and placed his hand against Kyle's cheek. "Why didn't you tell me?" It was spoken with such tenderness, that Kyle felt like weeping. He'd never known that Toby could be so... caring. He leaned into the touch as Toby moved his finger over Kyle's cheek.
"I didn't think you were interested. I thought..." Kyle took a deep breath. "I thought that you were too alive for me, that I would seem so dull in comparison. We've known each other for so long, Toby. How could familiarity excite you? I was afraid you wouldn't want me," he said, whispering the last part.
Toby looked into those beautiful green depths and smiled. "Kyle, you made me feel more alive tonight than I have ever felt in my entire life. Dancing with you like that made me want you so much I could barely breathe. I didn't know how you felt before, but now that I do, I'm not going to ever let you go. I want you, Kyle. Only you."
Before Kyle could say anything, Toby leaned forward and captured his lips in a gentle kiss. Kyle felt every doubt he'd had fade away, leaving only the incredible sensation of completeness as he moved his lips against Toby's. The kiss deepened, Toby asking entrance to Kyle's mouth by running his tongue across Kyle's bottom lip. Kyle groaned, opening his mouth to let Toby plunder it. By the time they separated, they were both panting from the intensity of it.
"I think we need to get inside," Toby breathed as his nibbled at Kyle's jaw.
Kyle sighed. "Yeah, definitely. Although public displays of affection are a turn on for me, now is not the time for that," he mumbled as he unlocked his door and pulled the redheaded in with him.
Toby reclaimed Kyle's lips before the other boy could even shut the door behind them. He had been so elated when Jesse and Cara had found him and told him that Kyle wanted him to meet him at home. Now that they were both sure of each other's feelings, he didn't want to waste another moment apart. He moaned as Kyle's tongue began stroking his own. He raised his hands up to rub against Kyle's nipples, eliciting another groan of pleasure from the green-eyed boy.
Kyle was in seventh heaven. Toby wanted him! He kissed the brown-eyed boy back enthusiastically, relishing each moan the other boy uttered. When Toby began rubbing his nipples, Kyle thought he was going to drown in the sensation. He moved his hands to Toby's hair, tangling his fingers in the curly softness like he'd wanted to so many times.
"Kyle, tell me what you want," Toby said when they finally broke for air.
Kyle looked into chocolate velvet. "I want you, Toby."
Toby moaned at Kyle's words. "Then I'm yours." He then added with a mischievous smile, "Now what would you like to do with me?"
Kyle gave him a lopsided grin that even Duo would have been proud of. "Oh, I'm sure we can come up with something..." He let the sentence trail off as he knelt in front of Toby, looking up at him suggestively.
Toby raised an eyebrow in surprise then laughed. "Well, what you're doing certainly looks promis... oh yeah..." He was interrupted mid sentence when Kyle began unzipping his pants, causing the redhead to close his eyes as Kyle's fingers brushed against his cloth-clad erection. Before Toby knew what was happening, his pants and boxers were down around his ankles.
Kyle eyed Toby's arousal greedily. He'd wanted to taste his best friend for so long that he was shivering with anticipation. He looked up to see Toby watching him, desire shining in his dark eyes. Without breaking their gaze, he leaned forward and licked the tip, lapping up the proof of the other boy's passion. Toby's quick intake of breath told Kyle that the other boy was enjoying it, so he decided to take it to the next level. A loud moan escaped Toby's lips when Kyle took him completely into his mouth, sucking gently but insistently.
Toby was so hard it hurt. What Kyle was doing to him was driving him crazy. He felt wet heat envelope him and thought he was going to collapse because of it. He looked down to see Kyle happily suckling him, licking his length before plunging it back into the hot cavern of his mouth, casting furtive glances at him to see his reaction. Toby wanted to laugh. He was getting ready to come, that was his reaction. Kyle hadn't been doing it for very long, but the fact that he was giving Toby this pleasure was too much for the redhead. The steady motion of Kyle's mouth on him was intoxicating. When he felt Kyle touch his balls, he knew it was all over.
"Oh, K, I'm gonna... ahhh... Kyle! Yeah!" He felt his climax overtake him, sending him into euphoria. He felt Kyle swallow his passion as it pumped into the other boy's mouth. Toby had never known it could feel so good. He didn't even notice when he collapsed into Kyle's arms. When he regained his composure, he looked at his new lover and smiled. "Man, K. That was incredible."
"Yes, it was," Kyle agreed as he leaned in for a kiss. Toby tasted himself on the other boy's tongue, and it made him want to return the favor even more than he'd wanted to before. He pushed Kyle to lie on his back as he pulled off the other boy's pants and boxer-briefs.
"Your turn, K. I'm gonna make you scream."
Kyle smirked. "Bring it on, T."
Toby licked at Kyle's tip, causing the other boy's hips to jerk upwards. He laughed wickedly as Kyle gave him a reproving look then he began kissing along the length of Kyle's erection. He felt Kyle shudder at the intimate contact. He had never dreamed he would be able to do this to the green-eyed boy. To know that Kyle wanted him like this was enough to stoke his desire again as he tasted his lover for the first time.
"Oh yeah, Toby. Nnn... Feels so good..."
Toby smiled at him. "Mmm. No wonder they call you 'Sweet K'," he said, chuckling when he saw the other boy blush. He didn't give Kyle time to be embarrassed though. He swallowed him to the hilt, causing Kyle to cry out in pleasure.
Kyle had never felt so alive. Toby's mouth was doing the most amazing things to him, and all Kyle could think about was the heat and tightness that was consuming him. He had never had this done to him before, and it felt so good. He felt the pressure building in his groin, and as Toby began moving his mouth up and down his length, Kyle knew he was about to come.
"Oh, yeah! That's it, Toby! Here it comes... Ohhhhhh!" He felt his seed pour out in pulse after pulse as the brown-eyed boy continued to suck him. The feeling of release overwhelmed him, making him shake as he emptied himself into his lover's mouth. He was as weak as a newborn kitten by the time his orgasm subsided.
Toby moved to lie beside Kyle, pulling him into his arms. They both lay there, exhausted but content. It was quite a while before either one said anything. Toby was the first to break the companionable silence.
"So, you wanna go to bed?"
Kyle turned his head to stare into the eyes of his new lover, marveling at how they even sparkled in the dark. "Yeah. Is that okay?"
Toby chuckled. "As long as I get to hold you all night and wake up to your smile in the morning."
Kyle kissed him tenderly. "Deal. Just don't hog all of the covers, and we'll get along just fine."
The two made their way to the bedroom, laughing at the fact that they had been friends forever yet had never shared a bed before. Once they snuggled together on their pillows, they were convinced that was an oversight that would never occur again. Kyle didn't have to worry about the covers since he was enfolded in the warmth of two strong arms while he slept, and Toby awoke the next morning to the brightest smile he had ever seen on his best friend's face.
End Part 4
(:./tk/fly4)
