01-Mar-2003
Title: Separate Selves Part Eighteen
Author: MadCat
Notes: Well, it's been a long, long time, and I can only apologize profusely for my incredible tardiness in getting this next part out.
It's short, I know, but I'll try to keep the sections coming a little closer together... the end is in sight, if I can just get there!
Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me so far....
Heero sat on Duo's bed, knees tucked up to his chest, hands idly stroking Duo's cool forehead, fingers occasionally running through the soft chestnut hair. Across the room, Odin sat on their bed, staring out the window, but seeing, Heero knew, a far-away, long-ago time and place, where he had loved, and lost that love to the God of Death.
<What will I do, Duo... if I lose you?> he thought, staring down at the boy he loved, more than life itself. Already he could not imagine a single day without Duo... if he were lost, Heero knew he would follow straightaway. <We'll be together always, Duo... in life or death, I will never leave you....>
Duo's brow wrinkled in his sleep, an incoherently murmured protest escaping his lips.
<That's sickeningly sweet,> Shinigami remarked, sounding revolted. And angry. Seriously angry. Duo wondered, for a moment, why Shinigami seemed so... threatened? In their shared Mindscape, he turned away from the sight of himself holding Solo's dead body, and turned to look at his counterpart. <What's so "sweet," bastard?> he inquired, watching Shinigami's eyes darken.
Instead of replying, Shinigami pivoted, turning quickly away, marching toward one of the piles of corpses that lay scattered around the smoking ruins. Soldiers, civilians -- everyone they'd killed was there, trapped at the moment of death; guilt immortalized in his mind. Savagely, he kicked one of the unresisting bodies, scowling.
<Interesting...> Duo had never seen Shini seem so... perturbed before. What on earth could get under his skin? The cold, arrogant death-dealer, who laughed at suffering, and mocked him for feeling pain? <What's got your panties in a twist?> he asked, moving silently up behind his double. Shinigami whirled, eyes blazing, and Duo fought the urge to take a step backwards. Stalking up to him, Shinigami grabbed Duo's collar, pulling him close.
Duo grabbed at his wrists, trying to force Shinigami away, but he was too strong; teeth clenched, Shinigami leaned close and gritted, <You fear me, don't you? You know what I can do to you... you know what I've done, and what I can do again...>
Duo's eyes widened. <No!> It was a reflexive denial -- not of the fear, since he certainly was shaking inside -- but of the idea that Shinigami could get loose, get free.... Images flashed before his eyes -- men in neatly pressed suits, choking on their own blood as it stained their white shirts -- eyes bulging as he garroted them with their own ties -- himself (no, Shinigami!) he insisted, laughing as the world exploded in flames around them, surrounded by the sound of screams.
Shinigami stared into his eyes, feeling the fear, watching his memories with satisfaction. Finally he smirked, releasing Duo roughly. <You fear me. You fear Death.>
Duo stared after him, still shaking from the adrenaline rush. <What the hell does that have to do with anything?> he gritted angrily. Shinigami seemed to ignore him, staring off into the distance. Finally he looked back at Duo. <I can beat you, anytime I want,> he remarked, almost offhandedly. <I'm stronger than Life. Stronger than Love.>
Duo shuddered. Love meant Death, he knew that... if he loved someone, they died... if he said the words, Shinigami would be freed, to rage across the world. He wanted to believe that love was stronger than death; that true love really did conquer all; that love could matter more than life. But he couldn't. He knew better.
Still... he could hope, couldn't he? Hope that Heero, the perfect soldier, who had survived self-destruction, escaped death countless times, could survive his love. Heero was strong enough, wasn't he?
<No one is stronger than Death,> Shinigami said.
Duo stirred slightly, lashes parting to reveal hazy violet eyes. Immediately, Heero unfolded himself, focusing on his lover, heart pounding. <Duo... please be okay,> he though desperately. Outwardly, he remained silent, as Duo's eyes met his, sleep clearing from them as he sat up slowly.
"Duo?" Heero's fingers twitched, wanting to touch him, to reassure himself of Duo's... could he call it love? He knew Duo cared, Duo had made it quite clear; even without words, Duo's eyes and soft touches had spoken silent volumes about the violet-eyed pilot's affection for him. Still... 'love' was such a foreign concept to Heero, outside of the kind he'd felt from his 'mother,' or later, from Odin.
Duo smiled slowly, a lazy smirk much like the one he wore in battle; Heero felt a chill run down his spine at the look -- cool, almost feral -- the look most people would see moments before their lives ended at the point of Deathscythe's trademark weapon.
"Not Duo," his lover's voice was low, his eyes intense. "Shinigami."
The last thing Heero saw was a flash of steel.
End Part 18
C+C will be so incredibly appreciated!
(:./madcat/separate18)
