27-Feb-2004
My submission to the Women at War fanfiction challenge ( http://happyfangirl.org/womenatwar ). I forgot to post it in December, when it was written, and then I decided that I might as well wait until the challenge came to an end. Now that that's happened (read all the other submissions at http://happyfangirl.org/womenatwar/archive.htm), here's the fic.
Disclaimer: "Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing" and all characters and situations contained therein are copyrighted to Bandai, Sotsu Agency, Sunrise, and associated parties, and are used here without permission.
Takes place during -- or rather, a bit after -- the events of Heero's Episode Zero manga. For those not familiar with the manga, all you need to know is that there's a battle on a Colony between a group of Alliance Specials Cadets, led by their instructor, Treize (yes, that Treize), and some rebels. The cadets are basically victorious, although Treize is slightly injured. A young Noin is among them. Other things happen too, many of them involving Heero, but they're not really important.
(AC188)
"Lucrezia! Lucrezia -- oi!"
Usually, Noin realised, shivering a little as artificial wind hit her shoulders, usually, there were all sorts of phases that came in between the two meteorological conditions of 'pissing it down' and 'not'. Always a few moments of transition, at the very least. This, then, must be something unique to the Colonies. In the moment when the rain lifted, there had been a sensation of strange clarity, as a world of confused blurs reformed itself, smoothly and instantly, to fill with the precise shapes of puddles of water gushing down drains, large grey buildings, people, and, directly ahead, the site where most of the fighting had been. Noin had always loved the idea of Colonial rain. A shining proof, she had said, that humanity was really building something up here; that space could be so much more than 'empty'. She wasn't sure she could love it any more, with all these new associations. She felt she ought to be angry with someone about that.
Emergency crews were already at the site; had probably been there for a while. Noin could see them searching, where the bomb had gone off, where the fire from a beam rifle had missed its target, where someone's suit had knocked into a block of flats, for survivors. She was a little ashamed of herself. Despite everything she should have known, she had been expecting little more than rubble to remain. Big, desolate piles of it, suitable for kneeling before and -- she didn't know. Something simple, she thought; something that could be understood. Instead, were these deformed, windowless things that looked as if they were still half alive, many of their walls still in tact, with bits and pieces of people's possessions lying around, as dropped in carelessness. One of the buildings was almost completely all right, apart from a crumpling at one side. Civilians were gathered in clumps behind barriers the crews had erected, staring dumbly, their faces white. Noin didn't know much about buildings. It might all need to be knocked down for the area to be rebuilt, but some bits, she thought, might be able to be repaired. She thought of people sticking windows and walls back onto some of the worst damaged structures. They hadn't got taught about that sort of stuff at the Academy.
"Lucrezia!" Someone -- the voice sounded like it belonged to Andrew, a fellow cadet and a fourth year; the only other non-fifth year here on the mission -- drew up next to her. She heard his breath, somewhat heavy, near her left ear. "Lucrezia -- I've been looking all over for-- Christ!" A hand had closed around her shoulder, presumably to give her a light shaking, but now lifted sharply away. "You're not just soaked, you're frozen!" Andrew exclaimed. "How long have you been standing out here?"
Noin wondered. "I don't know," she said. She turned her head to look at him. "Not long."
Looking in this direction, the Colony seemed almost normal. As if nothing had happened, after all.
"Oi, Lucrezia..." Andrew's face wrinkled with concern. "Come on, let's get back."
"Hm?" She hadn't noticed the dampness before, but now she was beginning to feel it. Centred on her chest, and spreading out through her bones. She wanted to cough, and wondered if it would do any good. She closed her eyes and opened them again.
"Everyone else is back at the base," said Andrew. "We didn't know where you'd gone -- what did you wander off here for, anyway?"
Noin said nothing.
Andrew shook his head. "Anyway, come on. A good soldier doesn't stand about, brooding, or whatever it is you're doing, and catching his death of cold. It's pointless. Instructor Treize wants to talk to you. Get moving, right?" He looked about to shake her successfully for a moment, then changed his mind and started back in the direction he had come from, tossing a glare over his shoulder at her when she didn't immediately follow.
Obediently, Noin went after him.
An hour later, newly showered and wearing a change of clothes, she was sitting in a soft, royal blue armchair in the room Instructor Treize was using as his office, her thoughts once again orderly. By the time she and Andrew had got to the base, she had been shivering violently, and he had pushed her into the shower block and told her to sort herself out.
"Stupid kid," Andrew had said, when she had protested that they oughtn't to keep the Instructor waiting. "Which locker's yours? Give me your key so I can get you a towel and a clean uniform."
She gave it to him. "Four-nine-oh."
He nodded and rushed off.
She started her shower with cold water, and gradually eased the temperature up. It felt good against her skin. She felt much more human when she stepped out, pushing the plasticky curtain aside, into the dry area of the cubicle. She shivered, but it was a healthy shiver. The clothes and towel had been pushed under the door, along with a note: 'Instructor Treize -- 17:25, room 04. Don't wander off again, idiot.'
"Lucre- Cadet Noin," Treize had said, smiling, as he opened the door to her knock. The office was less neat than his one at Lake Victoria, and Noin could see the outline of bandages beneath his shirt. "Do come in."
Noin thought of the way the Instructor's injuries had been sustained. A good soldier protects his men. She answered, "Yes, thank-you, sir," when he asked if she was all right. He said something about her performance in the battle -- or was it about war in general. She found she had difficulty listening to him.
She had never had a teacher like Treize before. The teachers at her primary school were dull and ordinary, and the other Instructor at the Academy was just the same: he told her how to do things, and praised her when she got them right. He was always talking about military ethics, and complex rules for what soldiers could and could not do. Treize knew that they could do anything. Her name would be remembered forever, he said. She had greatness.
"In battle," Treize was saying, "there are no true losers. Even those who die, die giving their lives willingly for a cause in which they have a concrete faith. No man can achieve a greater fate than that."
Noin nodded her head, relieved that Treize did not seem to have realised her attention had strayed. She shifted in her seat. She felt suddenly nervous, uncomfortable. She wanted this conversation to end.
As if reading her mind, Treize coughed and said, "But I have strayed from the subject." He looked down at her from his chair at the desk. "You did very well today, Cadet Noin. I was very impressed."
Noin coloured. "Thank-you, sir."
"No no, I should be thanking you."
Noin lowered her head.
Treize paused a moment, while she regained her composure.
"I would very much like," he said, once she was again looking at him, "for you to accompany the fifth year students on another mission to be led by me in three months' time. As I have said before, you have a lot of talent; you are wasted in the classroom. You should definitely join them."
"Thank-you," Noin said, immediately, automatically, "--sir." Another mission. She faltered. It began to sink in.
Instructor Treize was sat behind the desk, waiting -- of course he was expecting an answer in the affirmative. Noin thought of the events of the morning. Herself, small at the man-sized control station. Information flying across the screen, the battle, the Colony, everything at her fingertips. Treize's voice telling her, "Good."
"Thank-you," she repeated; "Thank-you -- but I'm not sure I should."
"Oh?" said Treize. He looked, Noin thought, curious; as if she was about to say something interesting. "Why is that?"
She turned away from him. Through the office window, she could just see part of the site of the battle. She wondered.
End.
(:./psyche/gloss)
