26 October 1999
Hi mina -
I'm actually posting a fic with no yaoi in it! Has hell frozen over? (Oh, no - that'll happen when I write a HeeroxRelena fic with an ending a Relena fan would love.)
Anyway, this is a story that occurs in the year Duo moves into Maxwell Church. As always, let me know what you think.
based on the song by Robbie Williams (music/lyrics by Williams & Chambers)
DISCLAIMER: All Gundam Wing characters are property of Sunrise, Bandai Visuals, Sotsu Agency, and Asahi TV. This work is not written for profit, but for entertainment purposes only.
Author's Notes: Angels takes place on L2's V08744 colony in A.C. 187. Duo has survived the plague that swept through the colony, but his new friend, Solo, has not. He and Solo´s group of street children have just been taken in by Father Maxwell and Sister Helen of Maxwell Church.
Key for punctuation:
"..." - character dialogue
/.../ - character thoughts
[...] - song lyrics
I've never been so scared and so happy at the same time. It's been a month since he died and I still miss him as much as the day he left. I thought that might get better but it hasn't. Maybe it's ‘cause all these kids are around. They're his kids. He took really good care of them and I know he'd want me to do the same.
And I work really hard to do that - I don't want any of them getting sick, or being grabbed by the traders. And no kid in my gang is ever gonna have to take money from the creeps. No way. I've done that a few times just so they wouldn't have to. It's not so hard if I think of them during it. I know I'm keeping them safe.
[I sit and wait
does an angel contemplate my fate]
Then yesterday, we were picked up. Not by the cops, but by these two grown-ups. They live in a church and they say that we can stay with them while they look for parents for us. You should have seen the faces of the little ones when they saw our bedroom - and the toys. That's what angels look like, if there are any (which I doubt.) Those faces were like angels must be.
The man called me into his office. He asked if I was the leader. I told him Solo was the leader and that Solo was dead. He looked at me funny. I thought he was gonna cry, but he didn't. I'm glad ‘cause I don't think boys should cry. You get beaten up that way.
Then he asked me if I knew what had happened to my parents. I felt embarrassed, but I had to tell him the truth. I may do a lot of things to get food for the kids and me, but one thing I can say is that I tell the truth. Liars are the worst. Solo didn't lie to me - he told me he was dying.
Anyway, I had to tell the priest - Father Maxwell -that I couldn't remember anything about my parents. He looked at me like that must upset me, but it doesn't. I mean, if I *had* known them, and them lost them, like some of the kids, I guess that would be bad. But I don't remember ever being with them, so I can't really miss them, can I? That's what I told Father. That's when he cried. I felt bad for him then.
The woman, the nun - Sister Helen - she came in then and said I should come with her. We went for a walk to pick some of the grass that grows really tall around the house. It had little white flowers on it. Then we took it to the church to put in a vase. It was kinda neat in there - all these statues of people with the eyes closed and their hands folded... they looked like they might be kinda happy, hanging there in the air. Sister Helen saw me staring at them and told me they were angels. She said some angels were made that way by God, just to be beautiful and help people live and die.
Then she said other angels used to be people but then they died and God made them angels. I looked back at the statues and tried to imagine Solo that way. She said that the angels were thinking about me, and that they loved me and wanted me to live a good life. I think Solo loved me - and I really loved him, too. He would be a good angel. I think.
[and do they know
the places where we go
when we're gray and old
'cos I've been told
that salvation lets their wings unfold]
There was an old man in the street today. Sister Helen and I saw him when we were going to get the church's ration of water. He was really sick and no one on the street wanted to go near him. But she did. She found him a really quiet alley and she and I prayed with him. He never took his eyes off of her. Maybe he thought she was an angel. He told her that he hadn't been living too good lately, but seeing her made him want to love God again, and that made her cry. She looked so pretty then. If love were a person, it would be Sister Helen.
The old man died while we were praying for him and Sister had to call the Morts to take away his body. I held her hand and told her not to be sad, but she just smiled and said she was happy. She said the old man had come home before he died and there was nothing more wonderful that helping someone do that. She said that angels flew whenever someone was saved.
I'd like to make her smile that way, but I don't know that I can't believe in God like she wants me to. I've never seen anything that makes me think there's a God that loves people.
But then, how did we get Sister Helen?
[so when I'm lying in my bed
thoughts running through my head
and I feel that love is dead
I'm loving angels instead]
Three more of the kids were adopted today. They were really happy, so I had to be happy for them. I was at a house last week, but the people there said I was trouble. Just because I asked them *why* they had all those rules, *I'm* trouble. So I'm back here again, and that's fine with me. None of the "mothers" I've been with in the last couple of months has been as nice as Sister Helen.
Still, I wonder sometimes why it's always me who gets sent back. Maybe there's something wrong with me, maybe even my parents knew it and left. Why else would I have been wandering around without them? Maybe I'm the kind of kid no one can love. I kept thinking about that in bed tonight and... I guess I started crying without knowing it ‘cause she came and sat down on my bed.
It was weird - she knew exactly what I was thinking. About the other kids, about all those "parents" that haven't worked out. I told her that I must be really bad and that if that's the way it was, then I'd have to learn to live with it. But she just shook her head and hugged me. She said she loved me. A lot. She really said that. I heard it and I think the kid next to me did too. She loves me.
[and through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I'm right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
when I come to call she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead]
Four more kids gone. I've been at another two houses and got sent back by both of them. The "parents" treat me like I have a disease or something and it gets really bad if they have kids already. They call me names, so I have to fight them. I can't let them do that to me. I can't let them beat me down like a dog. So I fight back and they say I'm just trouble and send me back to the church.
But she's always here when I get dropped off. I always feel like I've disappointed her, but she never looks that way. For some reason, she looks happy to see me. Every time. I sure am glad, ‘cause if she didn't -well, I'm not sure what I'd do. But I can count on her. She'll be there. Every time. I just know it.
[when I'm feeling weak
and my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
and I know I'll always be blessed with love]
Got in a really bad fight today with two of the boys that are being adopted next week. They said I must be really stupid ‘cause no one wants to keep me. They weren't part of Solo's gang - those kids have all found new homes. They came from someplace that got blown up by the Feds. And they kept telling me I that I was stupid and that I smelled bad. I told them they were idiots. They beat me up, but not before I punched them pretty good. Father Maxwell came out and stopped it.
He and Sister Helen sat down with me and told me that I shouldn't do that kind of thing again. I just knew they were gonna kick me out. But they didn't. I asked them why and they both *smiled* at me. They said that even though they didn't like what I did, they still loved me. They said that didn't change. I said they must be making that one up but they said, no, it was true.
I had to think about that one a long, long time.
[and as the feeling grows
she breathes flesh to my bones
and when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead]
I went to a park yesterday with Father, Sister, and the two kids left here with me. We had a picnic with us. It was a brown park, like every other open space here. They say some places have green grass but I think that must be a joke. I pushed the two little kids in the swing and then another one came up with her mother. I told the mother I'd push the little girl on the swing for awhile. She really had fun.
Then Father and Sister told us three to come and eat so I took the little girl back to her mother. She wanted to give me a hug before I left, but I didn't want her to smell my clothes. Her mother smiled and then she said a really strange thing. "You'd better go - your family's calling you." I started to tell her that I didn't have a family but then I heard Sister Helen telling me lunch was ready. I looked over and she was smiling and waving at me. Father Maxwell was serving the littler kids at a picnic table. And you know, that mother was right. It sure looked like a family. I had a family. And they were calling me.
[and through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I'm right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
when I come to call she won't forsake me]
The last one went today. I'm the only kid who came in who didn't get a home and new parents. I tried really hard not to cry. I mean, what do I want with new parents? They'd just tell me not to do everything I want. Who says I need them? I don't.
I went to my bedroom, used to be *our* bedroom and no one was there. There were ten beds, and only mine was made up. I didn't know nine empty beds could make the whole world look empty. I guess I kinda lost track of time, ‘cause Sister Helen found me just sitting there, staring. She said she had found a family that really wanted me.
She told me that they were people who knew about everything I'd been through. She said they thought that all that stuff probably made me strong, not a troublemaker. She said they'd let me keep my hair long. They sounded too good to be true and I said that to her. And she laughed. That's when Father Maxwell walked in. She looked at me and told me that the two of them wanted me to stay with them. They wanted to be my family. They loved me too much to let me go.
Father Maxwell leaned over and kissed the top of my head. Then Sister Helen put her arms around me and said, "You'll be Maxwell Church's Duo." I looked up at her and she was smiling that smile. And I knew that Solo was spreading his wings.
[I'm loving angels instead]
owari
(:./kumiko/2shot1)
