Notes: I haven't actually seen this commercial, but when my hubby told me about it in the grocery store while pointing out the packages, I knew that I would eventually have to do this fic... blame it on him!
Title: Brawny Guys
Author: tkmaxwell777
Category: Shonen Ai/Yaoi
Pairings: 1+2/1x2x1, 3x4 implied
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Humor, Lemon, PWP, and Sap
Archived: Yep! Thanks Lev :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters. Bandai, Sotsu, Sunrise, and the original Japanese creators do. This story is a parody of their defined universe and is in no way an official continuation of the original story. I consider all underage characters engaging in sexual activity as Emancipated Minors or the social equivalent under military service. This story is for entertainment purposes only. It is a fantasy and should not be read as a realistic representation of actual relationships. Content is not intended to condone or condemn any of the lifestyles portrayed. I make no money, I tell no lies :)
Duo sat staring at the television, blinking in shock with his mouth open. "Heero? Since when are there two Brawny paper towel guys?"
"Ever since they came out with the 'softer towel' version," Heero replied in a seemingly nonchalant voice.
Duo looked over at his best friend, noticing Heero was wearing that frown he normally had when he was thinking intently about something. "But... Heero... they were watching a soap opera together."
"The commercial is targeted for housewives, Duo," Heero explained, shifting uncomfortably. "What else would they be watching, the Monster Truck rally?"
"Well, no, but... okay, was it my imagination, or didn't it seem just a little too... well, you know... intimate?" Duo saw Heero's face flush slightly.
"No."
Duo sighed; exasperated that Heero was purposefully being vague. "No what? No, it wasn't or no, it's not my imagination?"
"It's not your imagination," Heero said quietly. "I think you interpreted the commercial correctly."
Duo jumped up off the couch. "You mean the Brawny guys are supposed to be gay?" He exclaimed, pointing his finger at the television accusingly. It wasn't that he was disgusted with the thought, or even upset at the idea, just stunned that such a relationship would be used to pander paper towels.
Heero looked up at him, something shining in his eyes for a moment before he realized that Duo wasn't angry about the situation. He suppressed the emotion that had threatened and said calmly, "So it seems."
Duo shook his head, completely befuddled. "And how is this supposed to get women to buy towels?"
Heero snorted. "The fact that homoerotic fiction has become a valid means of expression for thirty and forty-year-old heterosexual women probably has something to do with it. The advertisers must have caught on and decided to see if it increased their sales. Of course, appealing to gay males is another plus."
Duo rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. This was crazy! Regular guys would see right through this, and if they were homophobic, wouldn't that keep them from buying the product? Duo knew that Heero was pretty open-minded, especially since Quatre and Trowa were together now, but still... he looked at Heero and something occurred to him.
"You already knew about this didn't you?" When Heero nodded reluctantly, Duo gaped at him. "Wait a minute, you didn't..." Duo saw Heero flinch, and he quickly spun on his heel and headed to the kitchen without completing his question, almost sure of what he was going to find.
"Duo..." Heero ground out as he got up and followed.
Duo opened the cabinet door to reveal two rolls of Brawny paper towels, one of each guy, sitting there like a matched set. He turned to see Heero blushing furiously. "I don't even want to tell you how weird this is."
Heero shrugged, jamming his hands in his jeans pocket like a little boy being scolded. "I couldn't break Ben and Jerry up."
Duo raised an eyebrow. "Ben and Jerry?"
Heero reddened more. "I named them after my favorite ice cream," he muttered and then glanced at his best friend to see his reaction. Duo looked shocked, but a little amused as well, so Heero bravely added, "They look good together. It just didn't seem right to buy one and not the other."
Duo leaned against the counter. "Heero... I don't mean to... assume anything here, but... are you gay?"
Blue looked into violet for a few moments, and then Heero sighed in resignation. "Yes, I... I think I am. I mean, I've never done anything about it, but the more time we spend together without a war going on, the more I want to see if..." His shoulders slumped. "Anyway, I'm sorry I never told you, but I was afraid you wouldn't want to live with me if you thought I might be."
Duo laughed as he ran his hand through his bangs nervously. "Talk about a pair," he commented. When he saw Heero give him a confused look, he continued, "It's not really a problem, Heero, since I'm bisexual."
Their eyes met again, gazes holding as they both weighed the consequences of their actions before Heero strode over to Duo and kissed him hungrily. Something ignited between them then, and the next thing Duo knew, Heero had lifted him onto the counter as their hands and lips began roaming freely. In no time at all, both boys had their blue jeans unzipped and arousals out, rubbing against each other almost frantically. Moans and gasps filled the kitchen as they both fondled hard shafts and silky sacs, skin sliding together, fluids mixing, as they strove for climax. Duo leaned forward and kissed Heero passionately, their tongues twining even as their erections continued to grind. It didn't take long for them to fall over the edge of bliss. Throwing their heads back as they cried out each other's names, they came - hard, long and quite messily. Duo rested his head on Heero's shoulder while they both tried to regain their breath. They were both shaking from the intense encounter.
"Wow, Heero... just... wow."
Heero tightened his arms around him, leaning heavily against the counter. "Yes, it was."
Duo pulled away and smiled roguishly. Reaching behind him, he snagged a towel from the current roll on the paper towel holder and began wiping them off. Smirking, he glanced back at the two packages in the cabinet to see the Brawny guys staring back at them. "Sorry, boys, but this isn't a foursome," he quipped and then closed the door. His eyes met Heero's amused ones, and he said huskily, "I think we should take this to the bedroom so we can be alone."
Heero smiled shyly at him. "All right, but bring the rest of those towels with you." When Duo gave him a questioning look, Heero lowered his eyes in embarrassment. "They really are softer than the others."
Duo leaned over and kissed his new lover deeply. "Sometimes a guy needs it a little rougher and stronger," he observed mischievously as Heero reached out and helped him down. "Softer isn't necessarily better."
"Well it's supposedly thicker too," Heero replied, flushing at his own words despite himself.
Duo nuzzled his ear playfully as they walked out of the kitchen. "Long-lasting?" He teased.
"One way to find out," Heero breathed suggestively as they walked into the bedroom.
The two Brawny paper towel rolls never were opened. They remained, side by side in the cabinet for as long as Heero and Duo lived in the apartment. When the two boys moved into their own house, the rolls went with them. They were placed in Heero and Duo's new home, always together as a symbol of the two boys' continuing relationship... never to be separated.
The End
(:./tk/brawny)
