31-Jul-2001
Warning: NOT MY USUAL STUFF! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SQUICKED! TOTALLY WEIRD AND SQUICKY STUFF!!! NC-17 XXX (The first two aren't that bad, but it gets worse)
Notes: Wolfpilot6 made a fic-challenge on GWA board on writing a 1x3 story. I was in a seriously demented mood and came up with this instead. Hope you are not too disappointed Wolf. On the other hand, the each sexual deviance in themselves can be fic challenges if you are not too squicked out by them.
Sexual Deviance 1:
"So, uhhh, what do you do to keep the romance alive?" Duo asked Trowa as the two pilots started to head out the bar.
"I get hurt and then Quatre does whatever I want and become my sex slave," Trowa replied casually.
"Damn it!" Duo slapped his own forehead, "That's why Heero keeps self-destructing! That's it! Next time, I self-destruct! So Tro, what do you do to hurt yourself?"
"I cross the street to give cars a chance to hit me," Trowa answered as he started to cross the street.
"Come and hit me, all ye cars!"
*Masochism*
Sexual Deviance 2:
"Heero, get aaaway from the squirrels!" Duo yelled frantically as he watched Heero stalking after all the furry little creatures in the public park.
Ignoring him, Heero sneaked up on a particularly large squirrel and grabbed it by the tail.
"Heero! What the hell are you thinking?!" Duo demanded as he approached the Wing pilot.
"I couldn't find any gerbils," Heero answered firmly, "And the internet site said that squirrels are an acceptable substitute.
*Bestiality*
Sexual Deviance 3:
Trowa stared at Quatre's member.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Trowa whimpered as Quatre began to touch him.
"You know you will enjoy it," Quatre gave his lover a toothy smile.
"What exactly are we supposed to do again?" Trowa asked.
"I wrap my foreskin around your penis, and masturbate you until you come," Quatre replied as he proceeded to do as he described.
*Schnoodling*
Sexual Deviance 4:
Noin was slightly surprised to see Heero answering her call without a shirt on. In the background she could hear what sounded like vigorous humping and heavy breathing.
"What umm... are you doing?" Noin finally dared to ask.
"Group bonding and stress relief," Heero answered without expression.
"Ummm." Noin managed.
Heero stepped away from the screen to allow Noin a view of all the pilots masturbating in a circle around what appeared to be a piece of cracker.
"Umm."
"Whoever comes last has to eat the wet cracker," Heero told Noin in a matter-of-fact voice, "Duo has now lost ten times in a roll."
*Wet Cracker*
Sexual Deviance 5:
Zechs was stroking his lover fondly when Noin walked in the door.
"Zechs!" Noin exclaimed in disgust.
"Noin, I'm sorry, but I will only love Treize!" Zechs quickly sat up near his naked angel.
"Fine! But do you really need to keep his corpse around?!"
*Necrophilia*
The End
I am disturbed. I know...
(:./draco/deviance)
