October 22, 2000
And once again, the shower has its evil way with me...
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Also, any references to specific fanfics or authors are not meant to be insulting, I swear. I'm just being silly. Extremely silly.
Category: fluff
Rating: PG
High-school stage with standard ugly red curtains. One microphone. The five Gundam pilots, Zechs, and Treize are standing around it. Tiercel is sitting alone in the audience, filming.
Tiercel: *sigh* Okay, boys, go for it.
VO: We interrupt this broadcast of "Darkwing Duck" to bring you the following public announcement.
Quatre: O_o Where's that voice coming from?
Duo: I am the terror that quacks in the night...
All: Shut up, Duo.
Quatre: We, the male cast of Gundam Wing, would like to request that the fanfic writers... well...
Wufei: KNOCK IT OFF!!!!
Quatre: -_-; Something like that, yes.
Wufei: Listen, onnas! We are sick and tired of being your little playthings! You torture us, mutilate us; you make us dress up in SILLY OUTFITS! *stops to pant for breath*
Treize: I, for one, would like to say that I have never had a relationship with any of the Gundam pilots. They're far too young for my... tastes. *glances at Zechs*
Zechs: O_o;
Duo: And I don't appreciate being passed around like a party favor! Is there anyone on the show you people *haven't* made me sleep with? Not to mention the rape, and the torture...
Quatre: ...the piercing of unmentionable body parts...
Trowa: They're not unmentionable to *these* people, in case you haven't noticed.
Quatre: -_-; I noticed.
Duo: I think I've been 'NCSed' about 30 times this month!
Zechs: And that's just one author.
Trowa: At least you haven't had sex with a damn lion!
Heero: Hey, they forced *me* to actually write more fanfic!
Duo: Yeah, but they made me write *bad* fanfic!
Quatre: Anyway, the point is, stop it! No more rape, no more BDSM, no more torture...
Wufei: No more pregnancy...
All: *shudder*
Duo: ...especially no more of that...
Heero: Stop or we kill you.
Tiercel: O_O; Ano... isn't that a bit excessive?
Heero: *glares*
Tiercel: Meep.
(Rustling behind curtain; then a familiar figure bursts through the slit onto the stage.)
Relena: And they're NOT GAY!
*chirp... chirp... chirp...*
Relena: I SAID...
Quatre: Ano...
Trowa: Eto...
Wufei: Well...
Treize: *cough*
Zechs: *cough cough*
Heero: Hn.
Duo: Well, I'm not.
All: WHAT???!!!!
Duo: *huge grin and V-sign* I'm bi!
All: Oh.
Relena: Demo... Heero?
Tiercel: *muttering* I'm leaving now... definitely leaving...
Heero: Hn.
Relena: You can't be gay; you're in love with me.
All: *roll eyes*
Tiercel: fleeing in terror... *edges away from stage*
Duo: Back off, woman. The boy is mine.
Relena: The doggone boy is mine!
Tiercel: O_o When they start misquoting Michael Jackson... bye. *flees*
Quatre and Trowa: Bye. *flee backstage*
Zechs and Treize: Bye. *flee backstage*
*Treize pokes head back in.*
Treize: Actually, Wufei, you look very... mature for your age.
Wufei: O_O;
*An arm grabs Treize and pulls him off. A second arm grabs Wufei and pulls him off. Relena and Duo continue to glare at each other.*
Duo: I should have let him shoot you.
Relena: He wasn't really going to shoot me! It was phallic symbolism!
Heero: O_O
Duo: O_o You have *flipped*, ojousan.
Relena: Listen, you little hentai...
VO: This public service announcement has been brought to you by Fanfic Hallucinogenic Shampoo... the only shampoo that makes you hallucinate bizarre fanfics in the shower.
Duo: O_o Where's that voice coming from?
The End
Okay, well, uh... right. There's no excuse for that, really. Sorry.
(:./tiercel/snippets3)
