02-Nov-2000
Notes: For my wonderful pookie, Angel Ikari! Happy birthday!!! What do you want for X-mas. [I do fanart if you want that...]
Warnings: Yaoi. Major angst.
"I will wait for you on the other side, Milliardo..."
He's waiting for me. In the darkness that surrounds me, he is waiting for me. If for a moment, I can lift up my invisible wings, I will fly to him. And we can be together again... like we promised on the thorn of the rose so long ago. You pricked me... as if somehow our blood would seal our words...
Was everything simpler then? Or do I just want to remember it that way? We were so young then, and we were so invincible. Everything is so faded. The memories are leached of its original colors... the redness...
You kissed me then. You kissed my fingers, and savored the taste my blood. What did you taste? Did you taste the same bittersweet flavor that's in my mouth now?
*Ai shiteru... always.*
Don't you know that words mean nothing? Don't you know that promises are no more than tears in the rain?
You loved the rain. You always have. I guess we are both envious of the rain baptizing the world from its sins. But for you and I there can be no forgiveness nor redemption, we both know that...
And yet, we were both foolish enough to believe that somehow if we fought the war to end all wars we can regain all that we had lost.
But we had forgotten that we were never the innocent. Honor haunted you, and my father's shadows enveloped me. So you stood there, in all your chivalry, while I stood here, in all my darkness until we collided.
And still you would not break your promise. You wanted me to kill you, didn't you? I think I wanted it too. It would have been a fitting ending. You knew... you knew I couldn't live with you dead... Double suicide...
It would have been rather romantic, wouldn't it? Just you and me. Keeping our promise.
But our worlds were never that simple. Une saved you and the boy killed you. And I left lying alone in this apathetic whiteness.
How can you leave me now? How can you leave me now when I need you the most? All of our lives we have been two halves of the whole...
We loved, and we hated, we fought and we regretted... We bore the faith of lost men. We carried the burden of jaded souls. In the end we were nothing more than votive statues to faithless idolaters, as we led the battle of red and white with grays.
But you never believed in the grays. Is that why you so eagerly sought your death? Because the world could no longer fit in to your perfect garden? And the rose seed that you so carefully attended blossomed white instead of red?
But you won in the end. As you wait for me to join you, I am slowly being dyed red.
Why do you stand so far away from me? Why do you not embrace me? You said you would wait for me here. Are we to be apart even now?
"I will wait for you on the other side, Milliardo... and I will wait for your redemption..."
~Owari
(:./draco/red)
