29-Oct-2000
Category: Songfic, Angst
Rating: PG
Pairings: Implied 3+4, implied 1+2, 2+3
Warnings: None.
Feedback: C&C
Notes: I heard this old Collective Soul song again recently. This just popped in my head. I do steal a little of one scene from the video of the song.
'--denotes thoughts--'
Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
Trowa found himself wrapping his coat tightly around himself. He was cold but it had little to do with the weather. He didn't know what to do with himself. He always thought after the war it would be difficult, but if he had Quatre by his side, life would be bearable.
Of course, the best laid plans of mice and men... 'What the hell does that mean anyway?' he ruefully smiled to himself. Quatre didn't stick it out for the long haul. Barely two years after the Eve Wars, he could barely stand being around Trowa. 'Did he really think I would become ... what were his words? "Open" when all my life I've kept feelings and thoughts closed. Not out of fear, but out of habit. Habits are tough to break.'
I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in New York City
And I don't know why.
'So now I sit at the location farthest away from where he is now,' Trowa thought as he downed his third glass of vodka. In his bleary haze he thought he recognized the person approaching him in the bar. But then again, he did that often, mistake those who picked him up. It hurt less to think it was someone he knew.
Are we listening
Hymns of offering?
Have we eyes to see
Love is gathering?
In this case, it was someone he recognized. The braid was unmistakeable.
"Trowa, why are you here?" Duo's concerned voice spoke.
"Why are you here?" Trowa said. "Shouldn't you be off living the happily ever after with Heero?"
Trowa barely registered the uncomfortable look on Duo's face.
"We aren't together anymore."
"Oh," Trowa said. "Pull up a chair and join me then. We can form the pathetic losers club together then."
"No," Duo said. "I need for you to listen. I have something to tell you."
All the words that I've been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding
Into one
Into one
Unfortunately, Duo didn't get to tell him. A newspaper was lying nearby. The words caught Trowa's eye.
QUATRE WINNER AND HEERO YUY TO WED
Trowa started to laugh. 'Trading in one emotionally crippled baka for another,' he thought. Duo looked at him strangely before he noticed where Trowa's eyes had settled.
"Yeah, quite a shock, huh?" Duo said sadly.
"What was wrong, you weren't cheerful enough for Yuy?" Trowa asked bitterly.
Duo slapped him.
Trowa left.
He walked around the city, trying to get his mind to clear from the confusion. It wouldn't clear. He was sad before but now it just plain hurt. Everything hurt. Breathing. Thinking. Walking. He walked into the high-rise he had been living at and got on the elevator.
Instead of getting off at his floor he stayed on the elevator until he reached the top. He picked the lock to the roof access door. The wind was high and whipping. He sat on the ledge briefly before he decided to stand on the ledge instead.
So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below
The city looked as it always did. But then again this wasn't one of the cities that was greatly affected by the wars. He could see all of Manhattan from his vantage point. While looking below, he was briefly assaulted by a persistent pigeon who decided his head made the perfect perch.
And I laugh to myself
While the tears roll down
Cause it's the world I know
It's the world I know
While shooing away the pidgeon Trowa found himself laughing and crying at the same time. 'Can't even die in peace, God damn pigeons won't leave me alone.' He shook the silly thought out of his head and looked down again.
So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below
"Damn it Trowa, don't do this to me!" Duo's voice shouted to him. He was standing near Trowa, not close enough to grab him, he didn't want to make the tall boy more skittish than he already was.
"Duo, there's always room up here if you want to join me," Trowa said.
"We didn't survive the wars just to throw it away because we were rejected. Listen to me Trowa. We need to help each other get through this," Duo said.
And I laugh to myself/
While the tears roll down
Cause it's the world I know
It's the world I know
"Where the hell was eveyone when I was going through this alone, Duo?" Trowa asked bitterly.
"You don't make it easy to let us in, Tro, you know that," Duo argued. Then in a softer voice he said, "I'm sorry. I knew you were hurting, I didn't know how to help you then. I don't know if I know how to help you now. Please come down. Let me see if I can help. At least let me try."
The tone in his voice made Trowa suddenly not want to go through with it. He was just so tired of it all. However, he found that he was reaching out his hand to Duo.
He took it and pulled Trowa off the ledge. Then he hugged Trowa tightly.
Yeah I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below
And I laugh to myself
While the tears roll down
Cause it's the world I know
It's the world I know
'It's the world I know, and I guess I'm staying in it. At least for today,' Trowa thought as they made their way down to Trowa's apartment. To talk and to heal.
OWARI
(:./babaca/world)
