Top Ten Lines You Wanted to Hear Treize Say: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | To Zechs, after receiving news of the gundams arriving on Earth: "You interrupted the opera for that??" |
| 9. | To Une, after she kicks Gen. Septum out of the plane and then shoots him. "Overkill, my dear Lady, is not elegant." |
| 8. | To Zechs, after Lady Une leaves the bathroom: "You can come up for air now." |
| 7. | To Zechs, after the blond says he has to keep wearing his mask: "Look, no one's told you this, but we all think you look perfectly ridiculous in that thing. Now take it off." |
| 6. | To himself, after watching the baby toddle back from the brink of death: "She didn't pass the protective mother test..." |
| 5. | To Heero, after the Japanese pilot collapses upon getting out of Epyon: "Hmm... bit of a challenge for you, dear boy?" |
| 4. | To himself, after he tips some wine off of a balcony at a Romefeller Foundation party: "Damn, just missed Dermail." |
| 3. | To Relena, when he relieves her of her 'Queen of the World' position: "And I'll take the tiara and earrings as well." |
| 2. | To Wufei, when the Chinese pilot jumps over the side of his ship after the duel: "Oh, stop pouting!" |
| 1. | To Zechs, after Treize has been run through by Wufei: "Miriald, I be waiting on the other side... and will you have a lot of explaining to do, blondie!" |
Top Ten Signs You're Obsessed With Treize: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | You have several bookmarks in your browser for websites that have Napoleonic clothing patterns. |
| 9. | Your parents/roommate/significant other find you hiding in a closet, secretly washing your white gloves. |
| 8. | You've thought about putting a want ad in your local paper for an aide de camp. |
| 7. | You've stopped taking showers altogether and opt for baths exclusively. |
| 6. | Several German operas now share shelf space beside your Limp Bizkit CDs. |
| 5. | You've stated watching parades on television because all the marching bands dress like him... |
| 4. | "The World" is starting to sound like something you might like to acquire. |
| 3. | You've begun leafing through catalogs for military uniforms and saying, "Too plain, too modern..." |
| 2. | You've discovered a hitherto unsuspected passion for fencing. |
| 1. | Every now and then you have the urge to prevent a small child from almost killing itself, just for the sheer nobility of it. |
Top Ten Things Treize would want if he was stranded on a desert island : | |
|---|---|
| 10. | A good supply of cognac... |
| 9. | ...and Zechs to drink it with him. |
| 8. | A container garden of rose bushes. |
| 7. | A large, workable bathtub and a continuous supply of hot water. |
| 6. | A portable CD player and the entire Der Ring des Nibelungen on disc. |
| 5. | A radio connection with Lady Une - no visual, please, he's considering this a vacation... |
| 4. | A really good lounge chair. |
| 3. | One of his shooting rifles so he can pick off the seagulls if he feels an urge. |
| 2. | A stack of good books: everything from world history to trashy novels. |
| 1. | A comfy tent for two. |
Top Ten Questions Treize Would Hate to be Asked: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Have you ever heard of eyebrow wax? |
| 9. | Do you like roses or something? |
| 8. | Got a smoke? |
| 7. | Would you like fries with that? |
| 6. | How about stepping aside and letting Relena Peacecraft rule the world? |
| 5. | War is stupid, isn't it? |
| 4. | What do you say we hold hands and all sing 'Kumbaya'? |
| 3. | Is that bird poop on your shoulder? |
| 2. | Do you want to wear the clown costume of the belly dancer outfit? |
| 1. | Don't you think Zechs and Noin make just the cutest couple! |
Top Ten Things Treize Hates To Receive In The Mail: Graciously donated by Ravin Lorance - thanks! | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Tax bills on his estate - the nobility shouldn't have to pay taxes! |
| 9. | His bare root rose catalogue, tattered and torn by the postal system. |
| 8. | Letters from anyone complaining about something else unelegant that Lady Une has been doing. |
| 7. | Notes from Zechs saying, "Sorry - got a mission. Can't make this weekend." |
| 6. | Brochures from people giving memory improvement seminars. They all so obviously amateurs... |
| 5. | Bills for Tsubarov's mobile dolls. |
| 4. | Invitations to Relena's dinner parties. |
| 3. | Notes from Wufei, turning down invitations to Treize's dinner parties. |
| 2. | Flyers for Monster Truck rallies. |
| 1. | Notes made of letters cut out of newspapers (most likely from Duo) saying things like, "I'm holding your favorite rose bush hostage - surrender or I bring out the rusty clippers!" |
Top Ten Self-Help/Teaching Videos Treize Has in His Possession: Graciously donated by Golden Usagi - thanks! | |
|---|---|
| 10. | The Training of Birds |
| 9. | Documentary on the Cultivation of Wine: An Ancient Art |
| 8. | Different Breeds of Roses and how to Produce Your Own Hybrid Breeds |
| 7. | Successful coup d'tats: How to Rally the Support of Those You've Conquered without Being Killed Yourself |
| 6. | How to Develop Your Own Clothing Style XIII: And Impress it Upon All Those Around You |
| 5. | How to Work with Those who have Mental Illnesses |
| 4. | Trouble with Names? Here's Thousands of Different Mnemonic Devices |
| 3. | How to Prevent the Destruction of Earth by Your Best Friend |
| 2. | Bored? 101 Things to do in a Deserted Mansion |
| 1. | Designing Evil Mobile Suits to Give to Your Enemies |
Top Ten Lines You'll (Hopefully) Never Hear Treize Say: Inspired by CJ Comer - thanks! | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Zechs, I've found the perfect vacation spot! No electricity, no running water... |
| 9. | All's fair in love and war. |
| 8. | Marry me, Lady. |
| 7. | Dig up those roses and plant something practical - like cabbages. |
| 6. | I'm a casual kinda guy, myself... |
| 5. | I'll never forget old what's-his-name. |
| 4. | I think the decor is a little too old-fashioned, don't you? |
| 3. | On second thought, Wufei, I'll thumb-wrestle you for it. |
| 2. | My dearest Lady, if I could only figure out how to unplug this respirator... |
| 1. | Personally I'm not attracted to blondes. |
Treize's Top Ten New Year's Resolutions: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | To let his songbirds get out more often. |
| 9. | To hold more staff meetings while taking bubble baths. |
| 8. | To take Lady Une to the opera - just once. |
| 7. | To design a way for Epyon to incinerate the enemy by throwing a "thermal rose" at them. |
| 6. | To make even more public speeches. (Wouldn't you rather listen to Treize than to George W.?) |
| 5. | To remember not only all those soldiers names, but their boot sizes and favorite wines as well. |
| 4. | To make a bold move into the 19th century by using a carriage with four horses. |
| 3. | To finally tell Duke Dermail where to get off. (Elegantly, of course.) |
| 2. | To let Wufei win - just once. |
| 1. | To get Zechs to take off that mask, once and for all. |
Top Ten Things Treize Put on his Xmas List: Graciously donated by Golden Usagi | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Homing pigeons - unfortunately, his last birds weren't too bright and actually flew off |
| 9. | Eyebrow tweezers - he lost his while testing Epyon |
| 8. | Some sort of bugging device to plant on Wufei so that he can track him |
| 7. | As he put it, "Just a more elegant mech" |
| 6. | Season passes to the opera |
| 5. | A pocket organizer - memorizing all those names is beginning to take away from his ability to remember important battle strategies |
| 4. | Some old WWII movies to help him get through those lonely nights imprisoned (in a luxurious mansion) at Luxembourg |
| 3. | This one's for Une: some rose fragrance for his next bath - he tends to run out a lot at Luxembourg |
| 2. | A nicer private jet from the Romefeller Foundation - the last one barely escaped New Edwards base |
| 1. | For Wufei to finally accept one of his invitations to dinner |
Top Ten Holiday Events Treize Is Looking Forward To: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Going to see The Nutcracker and Die Fledermaus with Zechs. |
| 9. | Dressing to kill (sometimes literally) for all those holiday functions. |
| 8. | Watching Zechs try to get the star on top of the 12-ft. fir tree he bought for his office. |
| 7. | Challenging Wufei to a duel and putting holly around the hilt of his sword. |
| 6. | Drinking (lots) of mulled wine. |
| 5. | Watching adorable children almost pull Christmas trees over on themselves - and stopping their mothers from helping. |
| 4. | Playing Santa at the OZ Holiday Party - and getting certain officers to sit on his lap. |
| 3. | Finding a present for Heero that can top Epyon. |
| 2. | Enjoying Heero and Zechs's snowball fight - from the comfort of his study window, sipping wine and listening to opera. |
| 1. | Christmas roses. |
Top Ten Items Treize would buy in bulk: Idea graciously donated by Shikyouta | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Tweezers - perfect forked eyebrows sometimes have to be gained by coaxing... |
| 9. | Rose bath oil (Actually Une buys this by the case and has it shipped directly to the bath off of Treize's office.) |
| 8. | bird seed |
| 7. | Miracle Grow™ Rose Food |
| 6. | white gloves |
| 5. | burgundy-colored paint (Epyon isbig...) |
| 4. | Anti-psychotic drugs (to keep Une working efficiently) |
| 3. | Kraft Macaroni & Cheese™ - his secret weakness |
| 2. | capes - you just don't realize how many of those things one goes through, what with swirling them, making grand entrances, etc... |
| 1. | tooth-whitening toothpaste - one simply can't take over the world with a dingy smile |
Top Ten Things Treize would do at the mall: Graciously donated by Golden Usagi | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Commented on how nice it was to spend a day among the commoners, untroubled by those problems of world domination and being a misunderstood genius. |
| 9. | Saw Zechs buy those hair brushes. |
| 8. | Bought some rose bath beads for himself (and possibly Zechs!) ^_^;; |
| 7. | Stalked Wufei around the mall while spraying rose air freshener in his direction. |
| 6. | Had extra fun stalking Wufei in the flower shop. |
| 5. | Was almost run over by Maxwell and his scythe. |
| 4. | Was doubly disappointed when informed that there wasn't a store that sold thigh-high boots. |
| 3. | Bought a 'Phantom of the Opera' CD (classical music and a man in a mask!), and a bottle of very expensive red wine (nothing but the best for the leader of OZ) to drink while he listened to it. |
| 2. | Was yelled at by the pet store owner for letting the birds out--but no harm done, they came back. |
| 1. | Did some shooting in the arcade, which was rivaled only by Heero's, who said that he didn't have the right to compete with him. |
Top Ten Oscars Treize could win: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Best Scene with Bird Actors |
| 9. | Shortest Life-span for a Mech (::sob! Tallgeese-II! Treize-sama!!::) |
| 8. | Best Use of an Opera Scene While Fomenting Global Revolution |
| 7. | Best Acting by One Lead Man with a Leading Lady Une who is Actually Two (O_o did that even make *sense*??) |
| 6. | Best Combination of Fencing Moves and Ballet Steps |
| 5. | Noblest Pining for Another Man |
| 4. | Best Looking Officer in Romefeller Foundation Scenes (well, he *is* gorgeous, but this one is a piece of cake, neh? ^_~) |
| 3. | Most Wicked Mech Design |
| 2. | Best Memory in an Acting Role |
| 1. | Most Elegant On-Screen Bath Scene |
Top Ten Jeopardy Categories for Treize: (for best effect, insert the phrase, "I'll take" before each category and "for 300, Alex" after) | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Wartime Horticulture |
| 9. | Aristocratic Ancestors |
| 8. | World Domination |
| 7. | Abnormal Psychology |
| 6. | 18th Century Decor for Prisons |
| 5. | Dueling with the (Honorable) Peasantry |
| 4. | Preventing Armageddon |
| 3. | Misunderstood Geniuses |
| 2. | Hair Fetishes |
| 1. | Bath Potions |
Top Ten Signs That You've Been Hanging Around Treize Too Much: Inspired by lists from Tataragami | |
|---|---|
| 10. | You're hands haven't seen the sun for weeks thanks to the white gloves you've been wearing everywhere. |
| 9. | Suddenly the only Olympic sports you're interested in seeing are shooting and fencing. |
| 8. | You've been eyeing your friends, trying to determine who would make the best ruthless assistant. |
| 7. | You sniff every rose you see, even when it's on someone else's lapel, after which you smile rapturously. |
| 6. | You've passed the window of the boot shop seven times, and you're almost ready to go in and buy something. |
| 5. | During WWII movies you get a far away look in your eyes and start murmuring about the nobility of combat. |
| 4. | You begin memorizing the names of every person who has ever 1) stood up for you or 2) insulted you. |
| 3. | Those little cocktail swords take on a new and significant meaning to you. |
| 2. | You find yourself thinking, every now and then, that being imprisoned in a large country estate would be just the thing. |
| 1. | You've been waking up at night with dreams of long, blond hair... ^_~ |
Treize's Top Ten Uses for a Paper Clip: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | to cut the seal on a wine bottle (red, please) |
| 9. | use as a hair pick for getting those two little strands of hair just right |
| 8. | turn it into a tiny sabre for running through those dishonorable aphids that keep attacking his roses |
| 7. | use to extricate his opera CDs if they get stuck in Tallgeese II's CD player |
| 6. | as a tiny rake, to straighten out the fringe on his OZ uniform's epaulets |
| 5. | a lock pick, for when Heero drops by and the locking mechanism for Epyon's hangar is jammed |
| 4. | a lock pick for opening stubborn bird cages (and poking the birds out should they not want to leave him) |
| 3. | as a tiny sword for table-top duels with Wufei |
| 2. | loan to Lady Une so she can tighten the screws on her glasses |
| 1. | use as a pin to attach a rose to his uniform and Une's (it'll offer protection when Relena misses and shoots her rose off) |
Top Ten GW Things You're Likely to Find in Treize's Fridge/Freezer: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Tea Rose afterbath splash - it's even more delicious when you splash it on chilled... |
| 9. | a six-pack of Austrian beer for Zechs |
| 8. | his latest rose-cuttings: he's breeding a pale yellow rose called "Peacecraft" with a dark purple one called, "Chang" ^_^ |
| 7. | Une's supply of anti-psychotic medicine |
| 6. | several tins of Russian caviar |
| 5. | cocktail onions |
| 4. | a carton of Haagen-Daaz™ ice cream: raspberry & white chocolate, extra rich |
| 3. | the spare keys to Epyon (no one thinks of looking there - not even Zechs *smirk*) |
| 2. | a magnum of Dom Perignon* |
| 1. | leftover mashed potatoes (made from Potato Buds™) -- Treize's Dirty Little Secret ** |
* contributed by Yoiko
** contributed by Kat/Treize no miko
Top Ten GW Toys Treize Would Like to See Bandai Release: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | The OZ saber set (comes complete with a rose to wear while dueling and a Wu Fei action figure.) |
| 9. | Fashion Une: in her little blue suit she does nothing, but change her clothes and she's got karate-chop action! |
| 8. | From the OZ collection: The Political Intrigue Adventure Game (complete with service revolver and plastic wine glass.) |
| 7. | Rollerblades that look like OZ boots. |
| 6. | Deluxe Songbird Cage: listen to their lovely songs! Take them out and set them free! Watch them come right back to you! |
| 5. | Action Figure Fashion: "A Night at the Opera" (includes OZ uniform, opera glasses, and comm unit with Zechs' picture on it.) |
| 4. | My Size Epyon - travels 5 mph and has all the mind-warping effects of the real Epyon. |
| 3. | The Romefeller House Arrest Playset: a mansion, a security system, a gloomy library with hundreds of books! |
| 2. | Une's Closet: Packed with boot polish and white gloves. Treize action figure sold separately. |
| 1. | Happenin' Hair Zechs - easy to dress/undress and comes with an "obedience chip" for use if it becomes difficult to play with. |
Top Ten Signs That Treize Needs a New Mech: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | The glove compartment door won't close properly, causing his gloves to fall out and get dirty. |
| 9. | The radio can no longer receive the local PBS station on Opera Night. |
| 8. | The bud vase over the vid screens broke off and can't be replaced. |
| 7. | The back thrusters aren't powerful enough to allow him to make those wicked cool spins while he's dueling. |
| 6. | The laser rifle isn't firing "elegantly" enough to suit his tastes. |
| 5. | Une has hidden a video camera somewhere in the cockpit. |
| 4. | The Global Wu Fei Positioning System is acting up. |
| 3. | The wine cabinet is empty. |
| 2. | The rose scent has gone out of the hidden air freshener. |
| 1. | The hand is too rusty to be able to rest on the hip. |
Top Ten Products or Services We'd Like to See & Would Rather Not See Treize Endorse: | |
|---|---|
| Like to see: | |
| 10. | Calgon Bath Beads - Gundams rampaging, Tsubarov cackling, and my second is rebuilding our enemy's mobile suit. Calgon, take me away!" |
| 9. | The National Rifle Association -Now he'd be able to pull it off, and just think of the untapped markets... |
| 8. | Fencing lessons at the local YMCA |
| 7. | Workshops on "Awakening the Aristocrat Within" |
| 6. | Any politician's campaign - Just for the thrill of seeing Une kick the politician out of a plane and Treize taking over from there. |
| Would Rather Not See: | |
| 5. | The left-leaning People for the American Way - PFAW: "Uh - no thanks." Treize: "Hahahaha!!" *wipes his eyes* "Oh... that was amusing." |
| 4. | Denny's Restaurants |
| 3. | Monster Truck Races |
| 2. | The Napa Valley Board of Tourism - No way he'd stay sober long enough to speak the lines... |
| 1. | Any labor union- "They like to be controlled, trust me." |
Top Ten Signs That You're on a Date With Treize: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | You suggest a bath together and he asks to see your OZ id card. |
| 9. | You are wined and dined within an inch of your life, then find yourself freefalling out of your date's plane. |
| 8. | There's a woman with pink bows and a beam weapon watching you from the back seat. |
| 7. | Your date asks if you've ever considered wearing a mask in bed. ^_~ |
| 6. | Your date shows his love by giving you a madness-inducing mobile suit. |
| 5. | At the restaraunt, your date admires your legs and suggests you come home with him and try on some thigh-high riding boots. |
| 4. | You're nursing some small injuries to your fingers from having a rose pressed into your hand. (Poor Une!) |
| 3. | There's also some residual soreness from constantly being knocked to the ground by the swirl of your date's cape. |
| 2. | Every birdcage in your date's home is empty. |
| 1. | Your clothing smells of roses for a week afterwards. |
Top Ten Reasons to Like Treize: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Who else could wear roses and still strike terror in the heart of the enemy? |
| 9. | Birds that he sets free return to him and ask to be let back into the cage. |
| 8. | His choice of uniforms for OZ officers shows off his keen fashion sense - for the 18th Century, that is. |
| 7. | His aide de camp brings him bath oils. |
| 6. | He never lets mundane work (say, planning to annihilate his enemies) interfere with the opera. |
| 5. | He single-handedly keeps A.C. 195's wine indusry in the black. |
| 4. | Scented bubble baths pose no threat to his masculinity. |
| 3. | He's an adult, but he still believes in honor and glory. |
| 2. | He designed the coolest of the gundams - Epyon - and gave it a whip. ^_~ |
| 1. | He's got Zechs as his Number One. Enough said. |
Treize's Top Ten Vacation Destinations When GW comes to the U.S.: | |
|---|---|
| 10. | Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - he'll love the scent of Old Money along The Main Line. |
| 9. | New York, New York - he has a hankering to take Zechs to lunch at the Russian Tea Room. |
| 8. | East Hampton, New York -he'll no doubt get an invitation to one of the summer cottages of the obscenely wealthy. |
| 7. | Nashville, Tennessee - Une will have gotten him tickets to the Grand Ole' Opry (not realizing it was a country music theater.) |
| 6. | Calistoga, California -to spend some time soaking in the hot springs. |
| 5. | Arlington, Virginia - he'll memorize every name on every grave at Arlington Cemetary. Une will tag along to take notes. |
| 4. | Cape Canaveral, Florida - he'll tag along with Zechs and expect a briefing on the latest battles fought by the Cosmo-arma. |
| 3. | Washington, D.C. - why not drop in on the Chief Executive and give him a few pointers? |
| 2. | Napa, California - he'll head out on the wine trail for a bit of tasting, tasting, and more tasting. |
| 1. | Pasadena, California - The Rose Parade, of course. |
The End
(:./kumiko/top7)
