Further down the board game aisle I spotted Quatre, sitting cross-legged on the floor and hunched over something I couldn't see. I peeked over his shoulder and saw a game of Monopoly set up. Each property had three hotels on it but there was only one game piece (the little dog) on the board. "Quatre-sama? I believe that game is supposed to be played with at least one other person..." The blond looked up at me and smiled angelically. "What's the point of that?" he laughed. "I prefer owning it all myself!" It was only then that I saw he held the entire bank in his lap. "Hoo-kay, honey," I whispered, patting him on the back, "whatever you want." I needed a break so I went to see how Zechs was getting on with the store manager.
I should have known things weren't going right when I heard the continuous beeping of a cash register scanner. Nothing could have prepared me, though, for the sight of Zechs, looking bored and holding the manager by the hair, passing his face back and forth over the little scanner opening. "Do you still insist you can't show me your computer data base?" Zechs said wearily, as if he'd been asking the question for quite some time. Being a bit squeamish myself, I ducked down the nearest available aisle so as not to witness the man's gruesome but well-deserved fate. (I mean, when the Blond One wants something, you bloody well give it to him.)
"Oooooo, he'd love this!!!" The unmistakable squeal of a female anime character in love hit me like a wash of heavy perfume as I stumbled into the housekeeping aisle. There she was, the housegirfriend of all housegirlfriends, Hilde Schbeiker, holding aloft a toy shopping basket filled to overflowing with plastic foodstuffs. She eyed me with delight, sending a faint shiver of horror through me. "Aren't these just the best!" she cried, "and so inexpensive! My Duo goes through so much food - I'm usually at the market at least twice a day!" I murmured something to her about the possibility of getting her own life and tried to back away, but she grabbed my coat collar and the next thing I knew we were peering at little plastic vacuum cleaners. "I must have one of these," she cooed. "Living next to that scrap yard makes our shack so dusty." "Uh huh," I nodded, giving the happy slave a weak smile and heading for the end of the aisle. Things turned surreal as I ran smack into Cathrine, who had opened up a set of play dishes and was coming toward me, looking mildly zombie-ish and saying, "Here... I made some soup for you..." I waved my hands as if that would make the frightening vision disappear and then turned to run. "Oh, wait!" I heard Hilde calling. "Look! An Easy-Bake Oven!! Do you think if I get one of these Duo would stop daydreaming about Heero??"
Ducking into the preschool toy aisle, I gave a sigh of relief to see that no GW characters were lurking there. I leaned heavily against a Tickle-Me Elmo, too tired to even tickle him, and rubbed my temples, suddenly aware of a raging headache. The peace lasted approximately 3 seconds, ending in a cackling noise that could only mean one thing: Duo was in the vicinity. Sure enough the braided terror came swooping around the corner of the aisle on his rollerblades, having acquired a hockey stick, a small plastic ball, and a headband with Pikachu ears on it. "He charges, he shoots, HE SCORES!!" came the familiar drawling voice, as he skated in circles around me, doing some sort of odd victory dance. His celebration was short-lived, however, as Wu Fei came around the corner after him, having abandoned the pink-and-white bicycle for a camouflaged-colored GI Joe electric Jeep. He was waving an ornate sword from the Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog collection and screaming, "Come back and fight honorably, Maxwell!!" Luckily this was typical of Fei-chan's behavior, so I was fully prepared to duck the swooshing sword as it came my way. I was not, however, aware of how bad a driver he was and was rewarded for my ignorance by the painful sensation of the Jeep running over my foot. "Geez, you'd think a guy who can pilot a gundam could navigate a toy aisle!" I yelled at him. His only response was to glare at me over his shoulder and shout, "Stupid onna! Stay out of the way. This is a man's fight!" whereupon he crashed into an end-of-aisle display of Furbies, who all started chattering at him at once. As I limped to the next aisle over, waving off Sally Po and her doctor's kit, I heard Wu Fei screaming something to the effect of "They're alive!! They're aliiiiiiive!!!"
End of Part 2
(:./kumiko/toysrus2)
