30 June 2002
Category: Songfic, angst, dark
Rating: R
Pairings: None
Spoilers: A re-write of episodes 39-41 perhaps.
Warnings: sad but uplifting?
Feedback: C&C
Notes: Based on a Peter Gabriel song, Wallflower, found on his cd Security. Kwycksylver suggested I used this song for a prequel to the Duo story, Normal Life, but I had already written this one almost a year ago (well maybe half of it a year ago). I will write a story to Normal Life though. Promise.
[--lyrics--]
'--thoughts--'
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belongs to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency and are only being used for non profit entertainment purposes.
[6x6--from wall to wall
Shutters on the windows, no light at all
Damp on the floor, you got damp in the bed
They're trying to get you crazy--get you out of your head
And they feed you scraps and they feed you lies
To lower your defenses, no compromise
Nothing you can do, the day can be long
Your mind is working overtime, your body's not too strong]
Relena sat on the only chair in the damp, dank cell that was now her room at the Romafeller Foundation. 'I should be mortified, yet I'm not. Have I become as cynical as Heero?' She thought glumly. It wasn't always like this. When Dorothy Catalonia accompanied her to the this grand mansion that housed the Romafeller Foundation, Duke Dermail was very solicitious. She was given a grand suite and treated with kindness and luxury. She could continue to remain in comfort for the small price of her soul.
The Foundation wanted her to become queen of the Earth and colonies. She was to tell the world that OZ and Romafeller were friends of the Earth and Space and all they had to do was cooperate.
Relena knew better. They wanted her to feed the world lies. She refused to be a tool for the Foundation. Duke Dermail smiled and said she would change her mind soon enough.
[Hold on, hold on,
They put you in a box, so you can't get heard
Let your spirit stay unbroken, may you not be deterred]
That's when the living arrangements altered to this tiny room in the basement, where no light penetrated. The arrangements were designed to wear her down, she knew, but she couldn't bring herself to be their puppet. She hoped her stubborness and willpower would be enough. It would have to be.
[Hold on, you have gambled with your own life
And you face the night alone
While the builders of the cages
Sleep with bullets, bars and stone
They do not see your road to freedom
That you build with flesh and bone]
Relena held on to the only thing she could. The one person who continued to amaze her with his strength and determination. She would close her eyes and only speak one word aloud. "Heero."
[They take you out--the light burns your eyes
To the talking room--it's no surprise
Loaded questions from clean white coats
Their eyes are all as hidden as their Hippocratic Oath]
Once again, Relena was brought before Duke Dermail. He had with him some men, Relena didn't recognize.
"Ah, Miss Relena, how are you feeling?" Dermail said with a small sinister smile. "I have brought some doctors here to check on you, my dear. Having a nervous breakdown, must be just awful. These men will help you."
Relena felt true fear for that moment. But determination presevered over fear for that instant. "If there is anyone who would qualify as mentally disturbed, I dare say you would be that candidate."
As one of the men in a white coat approached her, she stepped back. "Don't touch me, please."
"No one will touch you if you only do what is good for the world, Miss Relena," Dermail said silkily.
[They tell you--how to behave, behave as their guest
You want to resist them, you do your best
They take you to your limits, they take you beyond
For all that they are doing, there's no way to respond]
Relena sat in the chair in the bright room unmoving. She tried to accept the hated proposal, but she still couldn't quite do it. One of the men, injected with her something. Now all seemed quiet, except for the white noise that was the hum of all things electrical in the room.
Dorothy came into the room, and Relena didn't notice. Dorothy sat across from Relena, staring at her with wide-eyed disbelief.
"Why are you so damn stubborn, Relena-sama? What my uncle wants you to do is so minor. Why do you have to make things difficult for yourself?" Dorothy railed at her.
Slowly Relena attempted to focus on the blonde woman yelling at her.
[Hold on, hold on,
They put you in a box so you can't get heard
Let your spirit stay unbroken, may you not be deterred]
Relena accepted her pact with Dermail. A simple acquiescence and suddenly she was in a warm room, with sunshine beaming through windows. She was given antibiotics to combat the bronchitis she had developed in her former 'guest quarters'.
She stood staring in the mirror at a soul she didn't recognize as servants dressed her in a ball gown and tiara. 'Heero, forgive me,' she thought. 'I fought as long as I could, I promise. I'm just not as strong as you. Maybe you should have killed me all those months ago. I would be with Father and not whoring myself to these animals.'
[Hold on, you have gambled with your own life
And you face the night alone
While the builders of the cages
Sleep with bullets, bars and stone
They do not see your road to freedom
That you build with flesh and bone]
Relena tried not to cry as she gave the speech she was told to give. It was well received. She suppressed the shudder when Duke Dermail touched her shoulder to direct her over to some noblemen who wanted to meet her. She almost winced as some of the men talked of her natural father, King Peacecraft. She didn't remember him, but she was ashamed that his ideal and the ideals of the father she knew was being perverted so Romafeller could dominate the world.
[Though you may disappear, you're not forgotten here
And I will say to you, I will do what I can do]
Staring out of one of the windows in the study, Relena pondered if her small moments of insurrection were enough. Some of the politicians had aligned themselves with her ideals which were not part of Dermail's speeches. When he suggested they follow his leadership instead it evoked discussion rather than meek acceptance.
She smiled to herself. 'Maybe I'm not as weak as I thought.' They tried to trap her when Zechs went up to space in Tallgeese. 'They ... no, Dermail. He wasn't getting the pretty voicebox he thought he had under his thumb.'
[You may disappear, you're not forgotten here
And I will say to you, I will do what I can do]
"You have earned your rest, Princess," a voice said in the dark, shaking Relena out of her thoughts.
"Who are you?" she asked uncertain if this was someone from Dermail's camp ready to do harm.
[And I will do what I can do
And I will do what I can do]
Treize Khushrenada looked at the young girl forced to be older than she was. 'Zechs, are we doing her a disservice? She is the key to peace, but at what price? If this were a game of chess, our mission should be to protect the queen,' he thought as he stepped into the light.
"You're ..." she said amazed.
"A friend," Treize said. "And your only opportunity to escape this prison that you are trapped in. I know how to play the games these men want. Will you let me? Will you allow me to grant you your freedom?"
"Will they even let me leave?" Relena asked dazed by the offer.
"Leave it to me. Do you accept my offer?"
She was in a quandary. She did want to be free of this burden of being Queen, but would she ever really be free? After all done to her could she walk away from it cleanly? She doubted it. But hope was all she had. "Yes, I accept."
As Treize lifted the tiara from her head, she felt the world and space lift from her shoulders. She gave him a small genuine smile. "I shall pack my things," she said softly.
"Your driver is waiting out front," Treize said equally as softly returning her smile.
In minutes, she returned to the study, where she and Treize had been. There were no bags at all. Just the clothes she wore when she first arrived in this hell known as Romafeller Foundation. "Thank you Treize," Relena said, feeling lighter in mind and spirit.
"You're welcome Princess," Treize said. "Have a safe trip back."
Relena nodded then left the room to go outside to Pargan and her ride to freedom. She spared the huge mansion a brief glance, hoping Treize knew what responsibilities he'd just offered to take on. The glance was brief because that was her past, she turned to Pargan who opened her car door, 'this is my future.'
Owari
(:./babaca/wallflower)
